Till Death, But Not Together

On the flight to London, I saw her and knew.

She was the woman who, eight years ago on my wedding eve, slipped into my silk gown and my drunk fianc Alistair's bed. Now she sat just a few rows ahead.

Through the seat gap, I heard her laugh with a companion. Tell me morehow amazing is this mystery man? Worth flying across the world for?

Her voice turned sweet. So amazing I think of him every day. He says hes never forgotten how bright my eyes were.

But hes married. Should you really?

She cut in, smug. The one unloved is the other woman. That marriage is an empty shell. Ive always been the one in his heart.

I looked away, smiling coldly. A leopard never changes its spots.

After landing, our paths kept crossing. In a convenience store, she leaned by a shelf, on the phoneher earlier triumph replaced with a playful pout.

So clingy I know you miss me on your birthday. A few hours without service and you blow up my phone.

A present? Im your present. Ill drain you dry tonight, love.

Her words, soft yet sharp, pierced my ears.

I had flown here alone to surprise Alistair.

Today was his birthday, too.

On a strange impulse, I pulled out my phone and sent a message to Alistair, who was supposed to be working late at the office.

[Alistair, are you done with work yet?]

No reply.

As the girl passed the checkout counter, she reached out and grabbed two boxes from the condom rack.

The same brand, the same kind, the same size. A brand I knew well. The one Alistair always used.

I couldnt hear what the person on the phone said, but she responded with a mock-angry tone. Im not cold, Im wearing plenty of layers. You can check for yourself later if you dont believe me.

You can slip your hand inside, run it up my waist, all the way to

I glanced down at my phone.

Still nothing.

After paying, I followed her out of the store.

Her voice was a playful coo. Dont rush me, I see your car.

A classic London drizzle hit my face, each drop cold as a shard of ice.

I clutched my coat tighter, my hand trembling as I hit the call button.

A mechanical female voice answered, cold and impersonal. The person you are calling is unavailable.

I understood. He had his phone on Do Not Disturb.

Hed told me this year that the overseas division was swamped, and once he was in the office, he couldnt take calls. This wasnt the first time hed been unreachable.

A Bentley pulled up to the curb a short distance away.

Alistair!

The girl hurried forward and opened the passenger door.

I turned my head slightly to watch.

One glance, and I was frozen to the spot.

The window was halfway down, revealing the man in the driver's seatpoised and distinguished. The girl swayed her hips and planted a light kiss on the corner of his mouth.

He smiled, a look of fond exasperation on his face.

You and your games.

The streetlight was dim, but I saw his face with perfect clarity.

The face of the man who had been my entire world for thirty years.

At three, we held hands as we walked into kindergarten. Hed secretly press the candies the teacher gave out into my palm. Ill protect you. Dont cry.

At sixteen, he mimicked a scene from a movie, hiding a sketch of me inside a textbook. When I found it, his ears turned crimson. So what if I like you? Is that a crime?

At nineteen, our first love, our first kiss. He was so thrilled he paid the bill for the entire restaurant. I wish I could tell the whole world that Im the happiest man alive.

At twenty-two, he proposed. In front of both our families, he swore he would only ever love me.

Everything froze on the eve of our wedding.

When I opened the hotel room door, I found him tangled in the sheets with a stranger.

Everything from that day was a blur.

Everyone said hed had too much to drink, that it was a case of mistaken identity.

That as his childhood sweetheart, I should give him another chance.

Even the girl knelt and begged for my forgiveness. She said it was all her fault, that shed bribed a staff member for a keycard just to live out a secret crush.

Alistair, who had been proud and commanding his whole life, had tears in his eyes for the first time. Seeing my silent tears, he grabbed a fruit knife and pointed it at his own heart.

Audrey, its all my fault. Ive wronged you.

If you dont believe me, Ill carve my heart out and show you. Theres truly no one else in there but you!

My tears blurred his face. His voice trembled uncontrollably.

Dont leave me, my love, Im begging you. You know Ive loved you for so many years.

If you leave me, Ill die. I swear Ill die

Later, I locked that memory away.

We had grown up together, intertwined. I thought we were inseparable, destined to go from childhood playmates to silver-haired companions.

But in this single, shattering second.

Our thirty years.

Finally, they crumbled to dust.

I returned to the apartment in a daze. A message from my mother popped up:

[So? Was Alistair thrilled to hear youre pregnant?]

I took a deep breath, swallowing the lump in my throat, and typed back with feigned calm:

[Not yet. I just got to his place. I havent told him.]

The apartment door swung open from the outside. It was Alistair, having returned.

Our eyes met. For a few seconds, his gaze flickered with unease before he quickly regained his composure.

Why didnt you tell me you were coming? I would have picked you up from the airport.

My voice was flat. I wanted to surprise you.

He walked over, smiling, and gently ruffled my hair. You shouldnt have. Id never want you to go through that.

Flying is exhausting. Its just a birthday, and now my poor wife has to deal with jet lag.

Alistair was about to say more when his phone buzzed. As he looked down to reply, his expression softened into that familiar, patient tenderness I knew so well.

Then he looked up, apologetic. Im sorry, baby, but I have a client dinner tonight. Youll have to be on your own.

Before I could respond, he pulled a piece of clothing from the closet.

I understood instantly.

He had come back to retrieve something the other woman had forgotten.

This apartment, his temporary home while on assignment overseas, was one I had spent my own time decorating for him, piece by piece. Id taken a week off work for it, losing a major client in the process.

But now, the vase I had spent half an afternoon hunting for and carried all the way from home was gone.

Even the photo of us on the fridge had vanished.

A sharp, damp chill, carried in by my rain-soaked clothes, seeped into my heart.

I shot to my feet and dragged my suitcase toward the door.

Alistair followed me. Are you angry?

He wrapped his arms around my shoulders from behind. The apartment is a mess. Ill book you a room at the five-star hotel nearby.

I promise, Ill spend all day with you tomorrow, okay?

He leaned in to kiss me, just like he always did.

A strange citrus scent filled my nostrils.

Her scent.

I turned my head away. Alistair, however, didnt seem to notice, already eager to leave.

By the elevator, a leering lowlife whistled at me, his eyes sticky and invasive.

How much? If he doesnt want you, Ill take you.

Hes got a girlfriend, you know. Ive seen her. A pretty thing like you, why stoop so low?

All the neighbors know them. He wouldnt even let his girlfriend walk. Ive seen him carry her all the way from the garage a few times. The girl always looks so damn happy.

He grabbed my waist, his mouth twisting into a grin as he lunged in for a kiss.

On pure instinct, I stomped down hard on his foot.

As he yelped in pain, I scrambled away with my suitcase, taking the emergency exit. I stumbled and fell hard on the concrete stairs, but I didn't dare stop to check for scrapes. I just got up and kept running.

I went straight back to the airport and sat numbly in the departure hall.

I couldnt understand. Why was Alistair cheating on me again?

For the first two years of our marriage, I was plagued by nightmares.

In my dreams, Alistair was naked, holding a strange girl.

I would always wake up crying.

He would hold me, soothing me over and over.

Its all my fault. Im the one who broke my babys heart.

He changed all his passwords to my birthday and introduced me as his wife at every public event. He gave me a detailed report of his day, every daywhat he did, who he saw. Even when he traveled for work, hed keep a video call open all night, falling asleep to the sound of my breathing.

Both of us were carefully, painstakingly trying to repair that broken trust.

When did it all start again?

Vaguely recalling the woman's name, I opened a social media app and searched.

It only took a minute to find her among the many accounts with the same name.

Because her profile picture was taken in Alistairs office back home.

Seraphina was a minor travel blogger with a decent following.

I scrolled down.

The first post related to Alistair appeared three years ago.

Seraphinas hand was intertwined with a mans, the background our high school running track.

[Finally with my high school dream guy!]

The same place where, at eighteen, we had held hands for the first time. The night air had been cool, and Alistairs palm was so sweaty from nerves. When were old and gray, well come back here together.

The year before last, mid-August, on our wedding anniversary, Alistair had told me he had to work. But his social media trail showed him with Seraphina, eating at a street food stall.

Last New Years Eve, I was in the hospital with a high fever from the flu. Alistair appeared in Seraphina's video, his head bowed in concentration as he disinfected a small cut on her finger.

My hand holding the phone was shaking.

Alistair never showed his face in any of the photos.

But the familiar cuff of his shirt, the lines on his palm I couldnt lie to myself any longer.

Seraphinas latest post refreshed on my screen.

The picture was of a lacy maid costume, so revealing it made me sick to look at.

[Bought this but forgot to pack it. Good thing someone remembered. Hes getting a reward tonight.]

So that was what Alistair had gone back to the apartment to get.

In the comments, a fan joked:

[Hubbys eating well! You spoil him so much, girl.]

Seraphina replied: [I cant help it. I asked him today when he first fell for me.]

[He said it was eight years ago, the first time I bravely told him I liked him. He said my eyes were so bright he could never forget them.]

[When I think about how he was thinking of me all these years, my heart just melts.]

Eight years ago. The day I caught them in bed.

I pressed my lips together tightly.

But the tears, disobedient as ever, streamed silently down my face.

Seraphina posted another video.

The camera panned over a large bed covered in rose petals.

A woman's voice giggled. My followers want me to ask you, now that youre thirty, do you have any new plans for our relationship?

A mans low chuckle. Plans?

Im the one who wants a child. Will you have one for me, baby?

The camera shook violently as the sound of rustling fabric filled the air.

My fingers were stiff, fumbling several times before I managed to dial Alistairs number.

The phone rang three times before he finally picked up.

My voice trembled. Alistair, am I still in your future plans?

He was silent for a few seconds, then answered casually, Of course you are. Why wouldnt you be?

By the way, Mom and Dad said you had a surprise for me. Theyve asked me about it a dozen times. What is it?

From his end, I could hear Seraphinas low, urgent whisper.

Honey, if you dont pay attention, Im going to have to punish you.

If I hadnt known, I would have been foolish enough to think it was just one of his colleagues.

My gaze fell on the shredded pregnancy test report in the trash can. I said softly, Its gone.

The surprise is gone.

The love from our past, the future we had planned together.

All gone.

Alistairs voice hardened with a hint of anger.

What kind of tantrum are you throwing now?

For you, Ive turned down over a dozen international partnership opportunities, all because youre so damn insecure!

Im out with a client tonight, trying to build a future for us. Cant you just give me a moment to breathe?

Fresh tears fell. I managed a small, bitter laugh.

Youre right, Alistair.

Im just throwing a tantrum.

When you get back, lets get a divorce.