My Heart Still Beats for You

Five years after I left Giovanni, everyone in our class received his and Michelle's engagement invitationeveryone except me.

The hotel where he was getting engaged was the same place where I worked as a server.

A classmate recognized me and shouted loudly, Gerard, you dumped Giovanni just to work as a server here?

All eyes turned toward me. Giovanni let go of his fiance's hand and strode toward me.

He stared at me, his voice dripping with mockery. "Didn't you say back then that staying with a sickly guy like me had no future? Do you regret it now?"

I gripped my serving tray tighter and forced a smile. "Yes, I regret it."

Giovanni looked me up and down with a sneer. "Do you think you're worthy of me now?"

I didn't argue. I just turned away, clutching my chest.

I had no time to get tangled up in the past with him, arguing about who was right or wrong.

After all, my artificial heart wouldn't make it past this winter.

I made an excuse about needing to get back to work and turned to leave.

Giovanni quickly stepped forward, blocking my path.

"Gerard, didn't you say it yourself? That you'd definitely be at my wedding."

I lowered my gaze, bitterness welling up inside.

That was because back then, I thought I would be the one marrying Giovanni.

After we broke up, I avoided him at all costs. I never expected to run into him again, especially not at his engagement party.

Whispers erupted around us.

"Is that really Giovanni's ex-girlfriend? I heard she took his family's financial support to finish school, then turned around and dumped him!"

A classmate who knew our history cursed. "She's a total asshole. Giovanni's heart condition was serious back thenhe needed a transplant. She was afraid of being dragged down, so she just broke up with him."

"No wonder she ended up like this. She deserves it. She might as well be dead."

Those insults and curses fell into my ears, word for word.

A dull ache spread through my chest, making it hard to breathe.

When I looked up, I saw Michelle linking arms intimately with Giovanni. "Giovanni, don't be so petty. We're all old classmates."

She turned to me, feigning magnanimity. "Gerard, just sit down and have a few drinks with us. Let's celebrate."

"No need. I still have work to do."

I politely declined.

I picked up my tray, wanting nothing more than to escape this suffocating place.

But the moment I turned around, I heard Giovanni call out in a deep voice, "Manager Anderson."

My supervisor came running over, bowing and scraping before Giovanni. "Mr. Giovanni, what can I do for you?"

Giovanni didn't even look at him. He kept his eyes fixed on me as he spoke slowly and deliberately.

"This server will exclusively serve us tonight. Triple her wages. If she's absent or if I'm dissatisfied, dock all her pay."

Manager Anderson didn't even ask if I was willing. He agreed immediately.

I felt trapped by invisible ropes, unable to move.

Without my wages, I wouldn't be able to afford next month's medication.

I had no choice but to follow orders, trailing behind Giovanni and Michelle as they made their rounds, table by table.

Whatever Giovanni handed me, I had to drink.

My stomach churned, and my chest tightened with wave after wave of dull pain.

Someone asked curiously, "Who's this?"

Giovanni wrapped his arm around Michelle's waist and glanced back at me. "Just a short-sighted ex-girlfriend."

The table erupted in laughter. I clenched my fists, feeling desolate.

Giovanni gestured for me to stand beside Michelle and ordered, "Michelle likes salmon. Cut it for her."

Then, as if remembering something, he leaned closer to me. In a voice only the two of us could hear, laced with alcohol and mockery, he said, "Gerard, if you hadn't abandoned me back then, you'd be the one sitting here now. Too bad you don't have that fate."

I numbly cut the salmon and placed it on Michelle's plate.

She ate delicately, taking small bites, then suddenly acted coquettish. "Giovanni, I want shrimp."

Giovanni paused. A memory surged to the front of my mind.

I used to playfully feed him shrimp. He'd laugh and dodge. "You eat it. I'm allergic. If I even touch shrimp, my hands get itchy."

So he never peeled a single shrimp for me.

Yet now, under everyone's watchful eyes, Giovanni skillfully peeled shrimp and gently placed them in Michelle's bowl.

Michelle smiled sweetly. "Giovanni's always like this. Every time we eat shrimp, he insists on peeling them for me himself. He says he doesn't trust anyone else to do it."

Giovanni said nothing. He just picked up another shrimp, continued peeling it, and placed it on an empty plate.

Antoine, who used to receive financial aid like me, raised his glass with his now-protruding belly and fawned over Giovanni. "Mr. Giovanni is truly devoted to Miss Michelle! Unlike some peopleboth of them were poor students, but Miss Michelle is kind and excellent, grateful and loyal, and ultimately a perfect match for Giovanni."

"But some people? They were practically ready to sell themselves when accepting aid, but the moment they saw Giovanni's health was poor, they turned cold and heartless. Truly despicable character."

Every word felt like a needle stabbing into me.

The long hours of work, combined with the alcohol I'd just consumed, made my face turn pale. My body trembled, and my vision started to darken. I had to lean on the table to stay upright.

Giovanni seemed to notice. He looked up, frowning at me, as if he wanted to say something.

But Michelle's friend glanced at me with contempt. "Giovanni, some people are just naturally dramatic. They pretend to be pitiful to win sympathy. Otherwise, how could they abandon a seriously ill boyfriend?"

The air fell silent for a moment.

Giovanni leaned back in his chair, a sneer curling at the corner of his mouth. "Gerard, after all these years, do you think I'd still fall for your act?"

The tightness in my chest intensified sharply. I forced myself to stand upright. "Sorry, I need to use the restroom."

Without waiting for anyone to respond, I stumbled and turned away.

Behind me, I heard Michelle's anxious voice trying to stop him. "Giovanni, don't chase after her. She probably doesn't want to see you right now. Let me go talk to her. After all, we used to be friends."

Friends? The nausea in my stomach grew worse.

I clutched my chest and staggered into the emergency stairwell.

Michelle followed me. "Gerard."

I stopped but didn't turn around. "Michelle, there's no one else here. You don't need to act."

She stepped in front of me, looking at my disheveled state with mockery. "Act? I'm just here to remind you to know your place. Giovanni is my fianc now. You're just a server. You'd better stay away from him."

I looked at her, unable to reconcile this ugly face with the innocent girl I once knew.

Michelle and I were both orphans, raised together in the same orphanage.

I was adopted by kind people and made it through high school.

At school, I ran into Michelle again. She was about to drop out because she couldn't afford tuition.

Giovanni was my sponsor at the time, so I asked him to sponsor Michelle too.

To thank Giovanni and me, she became our "relationship guardian."

Later, Giovanni's heart condition left him on the brink of death in a hospital bed.

I didn't want him to die, so I secretly went to get tested for heart compatibility without telling Michelle.

The results showed I was a match. I could donate my heart, but afterward, I could only survive with an artificial heart.

When Michelle heard I'd decided to donate my heart, she froze.

"Gerard... I was just talking. Are you really going to donate your heart?"

When she couldn't persuade me otherwise, she gripped my hand tightly and cried until she couldn't breathe.

"I swear, while he's unconscious and recovering, I'll watch over him for you! You don't want him to feel guilty, so I won't tell him the truth."

I looked at Michelle's triumphant face now and suddenly felt utterly absurd.

My voice trembled. "Michelle, why are you the one marrying him?"

I treated her like a friend, like family.

Why did she betray me?

"Why?" Michelle's face twisted with jealousy and satisfaction. "Gerard, what gives you the right to always be so naive and lucky?

Yes, we're both orphans. But why do you get everything so easily that I can never obtain no matter how hard I try?

The favor of Giovanni's family. Giovanni's unconditional love. Even after you abandoned him, even when he hates you to death, he still loves you deep down."

She stepped closer. "You told me to take care of him, and I did. When he woke up at his most vulnerable, when he hated you the most, I told him you left.

Watching him suffer, watching him depend on me, watching him finally look at me... that feeling was so wonderful. Finally, it was my turn to be lucky."

"And you? You won't live past ten years with that artificial heart." Michelle's expression grew more excited. "Besides that broken body, what do you have left to compete with me?"

A bone-deep chill wrapped around me. I looked at her, suddenly losing all desire to argue.

I tugged at the corner of my mouth and walked past her. "You're right."

"So please, both of you stay away from me."

I find you disgusting.

Giovanni kept his word. The next day, Manager Anderson found every excuse to fire me.

Over the following week, every rsum I sent out sank without a trace.

I knew whose doing this was. He wanted to force me to bow my head, to beg him.

Fine. Hatred is easier than love.

Hatred would keep him alivealive with a healthy body and a bright future.

Still, my heart sometimes ached in dense, stabbing waves. So this was it. He really could leave not a shred of old feelings behind. Ruthless to the end.

I clutched the medical report I'd just received. The doctor only said, "For your remaining time, enjoy your life."

I might not see the next spring.

A wave of dizziness hit me, and my body swayed.

At that moment, the last voice I wanted to hear sounded from behind me. "Gerard?"

I froze instantly. Before I could hide the report, Giovanni was already striding toward me. "Why are you at the hospital? Are you not feeling well?"

His brows furrowed tightly as he reached out to take the report.

Instinctively, I hid it behind my back and stepped away, helpless and cornered.

Seeing this, Michelle, afraid Giovanni would learn the truth, grabbed his arm. "Giovanni, don't do this..."

Giovanni's tone grew heavier, carrying an undeniable command, as if he were still the boy from years ago who could take whatever he wanted from me.

Just as he was about to seize the report, an arm suddenly blocked his path.

"Mr. Giovanni, it's not very appropriate to get physical with a lady, is it?"

I looked up in surprise. It was Robinson.

My neighbor, and also a heart patient.

Robinson shielded me behind him. "Gerard came to accompany me for a follow-up. My heart isn't in great shape. She was kind enough to help me out."

Giovanni's gaze swept back and forth between Robinson and me. Jealousy instantly shattered his composure.

"Accompany you?"

He let out a laugh filled with both hatred and panic. "You'd better be careful. After all, staying with a sickly guy has no future. Those are someone's words of wisdom."

Giovanni paused, each word landing like a blow. "Don't end up like mecasually abandoned by her."

With that, he abruptly turned away and strode off without looking back, his retreating figure resolute.

That night at two in the morning, Giovanni pounded on my door.

He was drunk, leaning against the doorframe with bloodshot eyes, staring at me.

"Gerard, don't you have any conscience at all?"

"You abandoned me when I was sick and walked away without a word. Then you show up again acting like you don't know me. Don't you feel even a shred of guilt toward me?"

"Why do you get to accompany someone else to see a heart specialist when you left me all alone back then? Why!"

I looked at him, my chest tightening with pain.

I thought about the doctor's warnings, my empty wallet, and the orphanage director's dying words that people need a good coffin after death so they can have their wishes fulfilled in the next life.

I asked, "Mr. Giovanni, what will it take for you to let me go?"

He stared at me, speaking each word deliberately. "Do three things with me."

"Fine."

The first thing was to take care of him for a day at his apartment.

Giovanni lay in bed like a real patient.

He deliberately knocked over the borscht I'd made, complaining it was too hot, then too cold.

He demanded I adjust his pillow angle every half hour.

He made me read love letters he'd written. None of the letters had a name at the beginning. If I read a single word wrong, I had to start over from the top.

He watched my pale face and sneered. "Can't handle it already? Back then, I suffered far worse than this!"

I bent down to pick up pieces of yet another shattered bowl, cutting my hand.

My heart felt like it was being squeezed by an invisible hand. I steadied myself against the table, trying to regulate my breathing.

Giovanni suddenly sat up. "You!"

I quickly interrupted. "I'm fine. Does Mr. Giovanni have any other instructions?"

He stared at me for a long time, then finally lay back down heavily, turning his back to me. "No."

The second thing was to accompany him to pick out a birthday gift for Michelle.

Giovanni pointed at the most expensive necklaces in the jewelry store. "Bring all of these for her to try."

He gestured to me. "You put them on."

"This is a gift for Miss Michelle. It's not appropriate for me to try them."

His tone was firm. "I said try them on."

I complied.

"Ugly."

When I was trying on the fifth one, I raised my hand to adjust the clasp. My sleeve slipped down, revealing new and old scars crisscrossing my wrist.

Giovanni suddenly grabbed my wrist, his grip so tight I cried out in pain.

His hand was trembling. "What is this?"

I yanked my hand back and pulled down my sleeve. "Old scars."

"When did you get them?"

I looked away. "I don't remember. Should I keep trying? Miss Michelle would probably like the sapphire one."

Giovanni's chest heaved violently. He suddenly grabbed my chin viciously, forcing me to look at him. "Gerard, do you think this will make me soften? This is what you owe me. You deserve to suffer."

In the end, he bought every necklace I'd tried on.

The third thing was to accompany him to a hospital follow-up.

Outside the cardiology consultation room, Giovanni greeted the doctor with practiced ease.

After completing a series of tests, the doctor looked at the report and said with relief, "Mr. Giovanni, the recovery is excellent. This heart is very compatible with you."

I breathed a quiet sigh of relief.

Giovanni reflexively glanced at me. I turned my head to stare out the window.

The doctor looked at me a few more times, his brow furrowing.

When the consultation ended and I got up to collect medication, the doctor said to me quietly, "Miss Gerard, you need to take care of your own health too."

I froze.

Giovanni had already walked back in, sneering. "Doctor, you're worrying too much. Someone as cold-hearted as her, who abandoned her seriously ill boyfriend without a second thoughtwhat could possibly be wrong with her? She values her own life more than anyone."

The doctor hesitated, then finally just sighed.

Outside the hospital, Giovanni's driver was waiting by the door. He opened the car door but didn't get in immediately.

I asked softly, "The three things are done. Will Mr. Giovanni let me go now?"

He had his back to me, his shoulders tense.

After a long silence, a single word came out. "Get lost."

Dead leaves were swept up by the cold wind. My heart died completely, with nothing left to hold onto.

This winter was truly cold.

Giovanni returned to the hospital for another follow-up half a month later.

The doctor pushed up his glasses, his expression grave. "Mr. Giovanni, although I shouldn't meddle in patients' personal affairs, that Miss Gerard who came with you last timeyou need to cherish her while you still have time!"

Giovanni paused while adjusting his cuffs. "What do you mean, 'while I still have time'?"

The doctor looked surprised, realizing he'd said something he shouldn't have. He tried to brush it off.

But Giovanni kept pressing him, even threatening his career.

"Five years ago, when you were critical, the only suitable donor was Miss Gerard. She volunteered to donate and requested using an artificial heart as a replacement, even though the technology was still unstable at the time. The surgical risk was extremely high, and the possibility of post-operative rejection and artificial heart failure were both very real."

The doctor's words cut into Giovanni like knives, one after another. His face turned deathly pale. "What did you say?"

"After the surgery, she asked how you were. When she heard the operation was very successful, she didn't ask anything more."

"But an artificial heart ultimately... Miss Gerard doesn't have much time left."

Giovanni thought about all those harsh acts of revenge, those humiliating words filled with hatred.

Those necklaces he'd made her try on under false pretenses. Those moments when she looked pale but he assumed she was just playing the victim.

In an instant, regret mixed with pain spread through his entire body.

The car sped along, running through countless red lights.

Giovanni's hands shook so badly he could barely grip the steering wheel.

He frantically rushed to the building and looked up.

With his own eyes, he saw a familiar, frail figure leap from the rooftop.