My Nine Losses Were His Choice

After marrying Ethan Pierce, I got pregnant nine times. But I miscarried all nine times.

I thought there was something wrong with my body, until I heard him talking in his study.

She betrayed me. Her dirty womb doesn't deserve to carry my child.

Only the pure and innocent Lily deserves to bear my child.

It turned out every miscarriage was his doing.

He pampered his pregnant mistress, caused my grandmother's death, and pushed me to the edge.

But when I left him to study abroad and became a renowned doctor, he showed up in a wheelchair, begging for my forgiveness.

I just smiled faintly and introduced the man beside me.

"This is my husband. What are you to me?"

Sophia's POV

After my ninth miscarriage, I dragged myself home exhausted, clutching the medical certificate.

The moment I walked in, I heard voices from the study on the second floor.

My footsteps froze. A bad feeling stirred in my gut.

The next second, I heard that familiar voice, cold and detached.

"Clean up the mess. Don't let Sophia find out."

"The oil stain on the floor has been wiped clean."

Through the speakerphone, I heard his secretary Robert's hesitant voice.

"Mrs. Pierce has been hoping to have a child with you. This is her ninth miscarriage. Shouldn't we tell her the truth?"

I forced my stiff legs to carry me up the stairs.

Through the crack in the study door, I saw Ethan lean back in his chair and let out a cold laugh.

"She should have known the future heir of the corporation could never come from someone like her."

"This is just a taste of what she deserves."

My face went pale. My weak body trembled violently.

I clutched the miscarriage notice in my hand, but tears still fell beyond my control.

The man who had dined with me so gently just yesterday, who promised to go with me to my checkup, now seemed terrifyingly unfamiliar.

Thinking back to every pregnancy after our marriage: being bumped into while walking, mysteriously falling down stairs, midnight fevers, food poisoning...

I thought it was my body's tendency to miscarry. I never suspected anything. Every time, I blamed myself for not being more careful.

Now, looking back, every seemingly coincidental incident had something sinister behind it.

But Ethan loved me so much!

I forced my eyes wide open. Even though breathing was difficult, I struggled to see the person clearly.

After each miscarriage, Ethan would pray in the church for a month for our unborn child.

To fulfill the child's wish, he endured rumors throughout our social circle that he was impotent, and took medication for a whole year without batting an eye.

To let me rest at home and prepare for pregnancy, he hired ten nannies to take care of my every need, arranging everything down to the smallest detail.

Everyone in our circle praised how madly Ethan loved me.

But now the truth hit me like a slap in the face.

Love and not love, which was real?

I trembled as I touched my abdomen, fresh from surgery. Dull pain radiated from below, making it almost impossible to stand.

"If Mrs. Pierce ever finds out, will she leave?"

Robert sounded worried.

Ethan looked at the photo on his desk of the two of us smiling brightly in college, his tone firm.

"We swore to be together forever. Even if she betrayed me, I won't let go. This is just a small lesson."

"It's only a child. It won't affect our relationship."

He paused, then continued.

"That college girl Lily got pregnant with my child after that accident at the gala. Let her have it. But I promised Sophia that the position of Mrs. Pierce will always be hers."

Every word cut into me like a blade.

I stood frozen, my blood running cold. I covered my mouth tightly, trying to suppress the sob rising in my throat.

I suddenly didn't know whether I should confront him about cheating with a college student, or continue explaining that the child was a misunderstanding.

The first time I got pregnant, Ethan and I had been broken up for three months.

Because of my special constitution, I was hit by someone on an electric bike. It wasn't until sharp pain shot through my lower abdomen that I realized I was three months pregnant.

My parents died when I was young, my grandmother was in poor health, I called him twenty times, but Ethan eventually blocked me.

With no choice, I contacted a classmate who worked at the hospital.

After the surgery, when my classmate helped my weak body out of the hospital, we ran into Ethan, who had just finished a meeting and rushed over.

His eyes fell on my classmate's hand supporting my arm. His face darkened like a storm.

"Sophia, are you that desperate for a man? We broke up less than three months ago and you're already pregnant with someone else's child?"

Without waiting for my pale face to respond, he turned and strode away.

I wanted to explain, but he simply didn't believe it was his child.

Not until my classmate went abroad did Ethan come to marry me.

"If you want me to forgive you, marry me."

I agreed. I thought I could spend the rest of my life explaining. I thought Ethan had let go of this matter.

Out of carelessness for losing our first child, I gave up my career to stay home and prepare for pregnancy, just wanting to make up for that regret.

Even at the cost of my own body, I never regretted it.

But Ethan never believed me!

My vision blurred the scene before me. I opened my mouth but couldn't make a sound.

The doorbell suddenly rang downstairs. The sharp sound made the person in the room look up toward the door.

My emotions were complicated. I didn't know how to face him. Instinctively, I turned and ran downstairs in a panic.

Sophia's POV

I opened the door to a delicate, innocent face.

Her features were refined and pretty, her skin smooth and fair. Youth practically radiated from her.

I looked at the woman before me in disbelief. Tears filled my eyes. I even forgot to run away.

Footsteps approached from behind. A pair of large hands gripped my shoulders. Ethan's voice came from above my head.

"Why are you crying?"

He frowned slightly, looking down at me in his arms, his fingers tightening.

"Did someone bully you?"

I didn't answer. The paper in my hand was crumpled. I stared hard at the woman in front of me.

Ethan followed my gaze. As if only now noticing the person at the door, displeasure flashed in his eyes.

"Why are you here?"

Lily nervously twisted the corner of her clothes, then pulled out a certificate from her bag.

"The doctor said the fetus is unstable and I should drop out to rest. I've already processed my leave of absence."

She glanced at the man's dark expression, then at me, stammering.

"You... you said... if I ever had any trouble, I could come to you..."

"You're the baby's father. You can't abandon your responsibility."

Lily seemed to gather courage, looking at the man before her.

Ethan irritably rubbed his temples and let go of me.

"Come in first. I'll go upstairs and call someone to take care of you."

Then he squeezed my hand reassuringly.

"Don't worry. She'll leave soon."

Ethan didn't explain Lily's identity or the pregnancy. He turned and went upstairs to the study to get his phone.

After he left, Lily's previously timid expression vanished. She walked straight to the sofa and sat down, looking at me from across the room as if she were the mistress of this house.

"So you're that promiscuous wife Mr. Pierce talks about?"

Promiscuous wife?

Is that how Ethan referred to me behind my back?

I struggled to breathe.

Having just had surgery and lost a lot of blood, combined with my emotional turmoil, I staggered, bracing my hands against the doorframe, nearly collapsing to the ground.

Seeing me like this, contempt flashed in Lily's eyes.

She crossed her arms and walked up to me step by step, warning in a low voice.

"You're a slut who slept with other men. How are you worthy of bearing Mr. Pierce's child?"

She proudly touched her still-flat belly.

"Mr. Pierce said I'm the purest one. Only I'm qualified to bear his child."

"Everyone says Mr. Pierce loves you, but..."

Lily looked at my dazed expression.

"If it came down to the child or you, who do you think he'd choose?"

What does that mean?

A bad feeling suddenly hit me. I jerked my head up to look at her.

The sound of a door closing came from upstairs. Before I could react, Lily suddenly grabbed my hand and violently pushed herself to the ground. Tears instantly streamed down her face.

Lying on the floor, Lily clutched her belly, breaking out in cold sweat from the pain.

"The baby, my baby..."

Hearing the commotion, Ethan rushed downstairs and scooped Lily into his arms.

"How did you fall? I'll take you to the hospital right now."

But Lily grabbed his arm tightly, her eyes on me, her voice weak.

"Mrs. Pierce, I never wanted to compete with you, but why can't you tolerate even a child? Why did you push me?"

"I didn't!"

Meeting Ethan's gaze, I shook my head in denial.

"I didn't push her! You know I just had a miscarriage. How could I harm someone else's child?"

I kept shaking my head. I'd had nine miscarriages. No one knew better than me the pain of losing a child.

How could I possibly want to harm anyone?

Ethan clearly didn't believe me. His eyes were frighteningly cold as he spoke word by word.

"I saw it with my own eyes! Sophia, are you trying to deceive me again like last time?"

"She fell on her own! She's trying to frame me!"

I didn't understand why Ethan would never truly believe me.

"There's a camera at the door. Why won't you just check it?!"

I explained desperately, a sense of helplessness welling up inside.

Ethan's expression shifted, but Lily in his arms went stiff, then clutched her stomach in painful cries.

"Mr. Pierce, my stomach hurts so much. Did we lose our baby?"

Ethan's thoughts were interrupted. He immediately lifted Lily in his arms.

"Lily has always been pure and kind. This is your first time meeting today. She has no reason to frame you. I saw you push her with my own eyes. There's no need to check the footage."

"Sophia, you've disappointed me again."

Ethan held the pale-faced Lily tightly in his arms, pushed past me standing in the doorway, and hurried out.

Unprepared, my already unsteady body was knocked aside. I fell heavily to the ground with a thud and cried out in pain.

Ethan's steps paused. He didn't look back.

I finally understood. Ethan had never believed me.

Those lost children were his punishment for me.

Sophia's POV

I sat slumped on the floor, looking at the miscarriage notice soaked with tears.

They were both Ethan's children. Why could he be so cruel as to personally send away nine of my babies?

Before I could figure it out, my phone rang urgently.

"Sophia, your grandmother's condition has suddenly deteriorated. She urgently needs surgery..."

My head exploded with a roar. I couldn't hear the rest.

By the time I reached the hospital, Grandma had lost consciousness. Seeing her lying on the bed with a breathing tube, my heart ached terribly.

"The patient is very weak. The surgery can't be delayed. We're still short ten thousand dollars."

The doctor dutifully informed me.

"We can't reach Mr. Pierce. Your grandmother's condition is critical. We recommend immediate surgery."

I desperately gripped the doctor's hand, begging.

"Please do the surgery first. I'll pay the fee right now."

"I'm sorry, Sophia. The hospital has procedures."

I frantically dialed Ethan's number.

Once, twice, three times...

Time passed.

On the tenth call, the phone finally connected.

A cold male voice came through.

"What is it?"

"Ethan, grandma -"

I started to speak, but before I could get the words out, a young female voice cut in.

"Mr. Pierce, I feel so terrible. My stomach hurts so much."

Ethan's voice carried a hint of helplessness.

"Don't move around. The doctor will come check on you soon."

Then he hastily threw out a sentence and hung up directly.

"Whatever it is, we'll talk about it when I get back."

All the blood in my body rushed backward. My fingertips trembled slightly.

When I called again, his phone was off.

I had no choice but to steel myself and call Robert.

"I'm sorry, I can't give you that money. Mr. Pierce has instructed that because you did something wrong, you need to be punished."

I trembled with rage. Under my insistent questioning, Robert told me Mr. Pierce was with Lily in the VIP ward on the top floor of this very hospital.

The elevator to the top floor was private access. I didn't have a card, so I could only climb eighteen flights of stairs step by step.

Along the way, my legs went weak and I fell to the ground. My knee hit the sharp edge of a step, and blood instantly flowed from the wound.

Thinking of grandma hanging on by a thread, I had no other choice. I gritted my teeth and limped upward.

By the time I stood at the VIP ward door, my body was soaked with sweat. My legs were sore and trembling. Blood had stained my white dress red.

I raised my hand. Through the glass window, I saw Lily nestled in Ethan's arms, acting cute.

"Our baby was frightened today. The doctor said parents should spend more time with him. I heard babies can sense their mom and dad. Can you feel him?"

Amused by her innocent words, Ethan rarely smiled.

"It's only been two months. It's still just an embryo."

"But he wants his daddy to feel him."

Lily hugged Ethan's arm coquettishly, completely different from her timid daytime performance.

Ethan ultimately couldn't resist. He obediently placed his large hand on Lily's belly, his movements gentle.

My nose stung. This was a scene I had imagined too.

Once upon a time, I also dreamed of having a cute, well-behaved child with Ethan.

But Ethan personally strangled my last hope.

Thinking of Grandma in the hospital bed urgently needing medical fees, I finally raised my hand and pushed open the door.

Hearing the sound, Ethan turned around. Seeing me, he froze, his gaze fixed on the wound on my leg.

He frowned slightly and immediately wanted to get up to check on me.

Lily timely gripped his hand, gently reminding him.

"Mr. Pierce."

His advancing steps stopped. He suppressed his emotions.

"Sophia, Lily has already forgiven you. As long as you come apologize, we can let this matter go."

Sophia's POV

I clenched my fists, my heart filled only with bitterness.

Their intertwined hands stung my eyes. I looked away, my gaze falling on Ethan's face.

"Ethan, Grandma is critically ill and needs surgery. We're still short ten thousand dollars..."

Before I could finish, Lily frowned in displeasure.

"Sophia, even if you don't want to apologize, you don't need to use such an excuse, do you?"

"I'm not."

I cut her off sharply.

Lily's eyes immediately reddened. She hugged Ethan's arm, trembling.

"Mr. Pierce, did I say something wrong? I'm so scared. Will Sophia try to harm our child again?"

At this, Ethan's expression darkened.

"Sophia, it's just an apology. If you did something wrong, you should be punished. No excuse will work."

Punishment?

I tugged at my stiff lips.

He'd already punished me with nine miscarriages. What more did he want?

I suddenly remembered that before, when I fell and scraped my skin, Ethan's eyes were full of heartache.

He would cancel all his meetings and carefully stay by my side, summoning his private doctor to gently apply medicine to my wounds himself.

But now I was a complete mess, soaked in sweat, blood still flowing from my wounds, yet he could still turn a blind eye.

It was Ethan who comforted me after my miscarriages, who accompanied me through those days of lost hope.

But he was also the father of those children, and their executioner.

I was exhausted in body and spirit. My head felt dizzy.

I dug my nails into my palms. The pain was the only thing keeping me conscious.

Grandma was still waiting for the medical fees. I couldn't be willful at a time like this.

"Sophia."

Ethan's cold tone carried veiled coercion and threat.

I gave in.

I bent down.

"I'm sorry."

Ethan turned his head away, no longer paying attention.

"Fine. This matter ends here."

He carefully helped Lily down from the bed and walked out.

"Lily still needs to be examined. You should go back and treat your wound."

"Grandma needs surgery immediately!" I tried to reach out and stop Ethan. "We're still short ten thousand."

Lily displeasedly blocked my arm.

"Sophia, I heard from Mr. Pierce that your grandmother raised you since childhood. Even if you really don't want this child, you don't need to curse your grandmother who has cancer to death, do you?"

"I didn't!"

Seeing the dissatisfaction in Ethan's eyes, I desperately tried to explain.

"Grandma's condition has really deteriorated. She needs surgery now!"

"Enough!"

Ethan roughly shook off my hand.

"I've already instructed the attending physician. If there's any problem, they'll contact me directly! Sophia, the position of Mrs. Pierce will always be yours. You don't need to lie about this kind of thing."

The disappointment in his eyes was like a tangible force, transforming into countless swords that stabbed deep into my heart.

In his eyes, was I really the kind of person who would use such things to compete for favor?

I stood there, watching the two of them leave intimately, my vision blurring.

Nurses nearby were gossiping.

"Look at her. Can't even have kids. How does someone like that get to be Mrs. Pierce?"

"I heard she was jealous of that young girl's pregnancy and tried to hurt the baby herself!"

"Can you believe it?! She graduated from a top university, used to do pharmaceutical research. Who would've thought she could be so cruel? And she even lied about her grandmother being sick."

A sense of helplessness rose from the depths of my heart.

I took out my phone and begged the doctor to operate immediately. I promised I would raise the money.

"I'm sorry, Sophia."

The doctor's words cruelly revealed the truth.

"Your grandmother just passed away."

I hadn't even seen her one last time.

I turned and ran downstairs. When I gasped my way to the ward, I just saw Grandma being wheeled toward the morgue.

That tightly wound string in my head finally snapped. I forgot even how to cry and collapsed straight down.

Sophia's POV

When I woke up, I stared at the white ceiling of the hospital room, feeling somewhat dazed.

As if I'd had a dream.

I forced myself up. Pain from my lower abdomen and wounds all over my body cruelly reminded me.

The person closest to me in this world was also gone.

My eyes were dry. I'd cried all my tears.

"You're awake. Drink some water first."

Ethan pushed open the door holding a glass of water. There were faint dark circles under his eyes.

"You've been asleep for three days. Drink some water first."

I ignored his outstretched hand.

"Where's grandma?"

Ethan frowned and set the glass aside.

"It's too hot. Grandma has already been cremated. Her ashes are at home, waiting for you to go back and bury them."

My nose stung. I remembered before I got married, Grandma held my hand.

"You must be happy for a lifetime."

When I was born, my parents despised me and abandoned me on the street.

It was grandma passing by who couldn't bear it. She brought me home, raised me personally, and found every way possible to let me attend school.

Some people didn't understand. They mocked her, saying what good was it for a girl to study well? Better to marry someone rich.

But Grandma always told me from childhood.

"People can't rely on others for a lifetime. Knowledge belongs to you. No one can take it away."

I failed Grandma's expectations. I lost myself in this relationship.

I didn't even see the old woman one last time.

Ethan stepped forward and pulled me into his arms.

"Sophia, you still have me. I told you, I'll give you a family."

Give me a family?

It was my poor judgment that made me trust the wrong person, letting Ethan destroy my family!

Ethan moved his lips to say something, but was interrupted by his phone ringing in his pocket.

"Get someone over... yes, it's been too long... not good for the baby..."

The voice came in fragments, but I could still tell it was Lily acting cute with him.

Before, I would have been mad with jealousy, would have questioned him, gotten angry. But now my heart felt no ripple.

Ethan glanced at me beside him, then finally nodded in agreement.

"I know. Do it your way for now. I'll come back now."

After hanging up, Ethan stood, gently adjusting the blanket corner.

"Rest well. I'll come check on you later."

I closed my eyes, ignoring him.

Ethan stood in silence for a while, then finally turned and left.

My fingers curled. My hand gripping the clothes trembled slightly.

Ethan, I have nothing left.

I gritted my teeth and forced my body up. I took a cab home. I had to let grandma rest in peace.

Then I would find Ethan and divorce him.

When I reached the villa entrance, strange sounds came from inside. The air was filled with an odd smell.

My heart sank. A bad feeling washed over me.

When I opened the door, the scene before my eyes broke my heart!

The living room had been temporarily converted into a cold white memorial space.

White lilies surrounded the space. In the center stood a dark urn, with an enlarged photo beside it

It was grandma.

Then, a strange man grabbed the photo and tossed it into a metal tray. Flames shot up, swallowing the familiar face in an instant.

"No!"

I screamed and ran over, trying to reach into the fire to grab the photo.

"Stop Mrs. Pierce."

Ethan's calm voice came from nearby.

Bodyguards immediately stepped forward, holding me firmly outside, not letting me near the fire.

"Ethan!"

I lost it.

"Grandma is already dead! What more do you want?!"

Lily shrank back and clung to Ethan's arm. Her lips, painted with bright gloss, pouted slightly.

"Sophia, I just got pregnant with Mr. Pierce's child and now this happens. People say your grandmother's ghost will haunt me. We need to get rid of the bad energy."

"Absurd!"

I was so angry my lips trembled. I looked at Ethan.

In my memory, Ethan hated this kind of thing most.

The only exception was praying for their child.

I still remembered that day. Ethan was soaked through with rain, but the cross he took out from his coat was perfectly clean and dry.

"Sophia, the only exception is you."

But now, looking at Ethan less than five meters away, I blinked my dry eyes.

I was no longer that only exception.

Ethan stared at me steadily, his tone calm and cruel.

"Lily has been having nightmares and can't sleep. She just needs a ceremony."

He paused, then continued.

"Don't worry. Grandma's ashes have already been burned once. They won't burn away completely."

What does "won't burn away completely" mean?

I suddenly felt the man before me was terrifyingly unfamiliar.

That was my only relative, and the grandmother he promised to take care of for a lifetime.

"Mr. Pierce, time is almost up."

A man in ritual robes stepped forward from behind.

"The lingering anger won't go away. An evil spirit is clinging to her. Miss Lily is pregnant and weak. She's already been possessed."

Hearing this, Ethan withdrew his gaze and turned to look at them.

"Continue."

The man was heavily equipped. He took out a bag of white phosphorus from his pack and threw it expressionlessly into the urn.

"No! No! Grandma!"

My eyes turned completely red. I pushed through the crowd blocking me and rushed forward.

"Watch out!"

Before I could get close, the white phosphorus contacted the high temperature and suddenly ignited in the air.

The urn exploded. A small piece of porcelain flew past my cheek. White ashes were blown everywhere by the intense heat.

Through the hazy white dust, I saw Ethan holding Lily tightly in his arms.

He used his back to shield her.

I suddenly remembered when the lab had a chemical explosion before, he also held me in his arms like this.

Even if his back was burned, his first concern would be whether I was hurt.

Blood rushed to my head. Something sweet and metallic surged in my throat. I spat a mouthful of blood onto the ground.

Ethan, the price of loving you is too high.

I don't want to love you anymore.

I'll give you a gift you'll never forget.