No Room for Love or Hate

Sent to prison by my husband for two years, I changed my name and moved abroad upon release.

Seven years later, we met again at my brothers tombstone.

Our eyes met. He paused, his hand still on the polished stone.

A complex mix of emotions flashed in his eyes: shock, wild joy, guilt

Hanna, Ive looked for you for years. I thought you were gone too.

Where have you been all these years? Why didnt you ever contact me?

Seeing my silence, he quickly dabbed at the corner of his eye.

Youre deliberately avoiding me, still resentful about what happened back then, aren't you? I had my reasons.

I wondered how he, after causing my brothers death, sleeping with his woman, and pushing me to the brink of survival,

could possibly have the audacity to speak such words in front of my brother.

But love and hate were too much of a luxury.

To me, he was nothing anymore.

Old acquaintances reunited, my heart unruffled.

Ben turned and walked away.

I bent down, gently placing the pristine white chrysanthemums I held before my brothers tombstone.

In the photograph, my brothers smile was warm, his eyes clear, forever frozen at twenty-five.

If he were still here, hed surely be at the airport to pick me up today.

Just like when we were younger, hed ruffle my hair.

Little one, why the long face?

No, if he were here, he wouldn't have allowed me to be bullied into leaving the country.

I crouched, my fingertips tracing my brothers eyebrows and eyes on the tombstone.

Brother, I have good news to tell you

Before I could finish, Ben returned, presenting me with a heavy bag.

I promised you years ago that Id make you a handmade gift for every birthday.

I couldnt find you all these years, so I saved them all up.

Tiny earrings, an embroidered hat, a soft cashmere scarf

It was clear he had put thought into them.

But I remained unmoved.

His hand hung in mid-air, a hint of awkwardness and disappointment on his face.

Dont you like them? Ill have someone prepare something else. Shall we have lunch together?

No, I have other things to do.

He was about to press further, but his phone rang.

Honey, when are you coming back?

Its our seven-year wedding anniversary today; Ive already booked the restaurant

His finger paused, brushing away a yellow leaf carried by the wind.

Brother, this is the man you fought so hard to protect.

You were wrong about him.

And so was I.

My throat suddenly felt itchy, and I couldn't help but cough twice.

Honey, where are you? Whose voice is that next to you?

Ben hung up without a word, pulling a mask from his coat pocket and offering it to me.

Youre allergic to cold air; you always cough in autumn. Remember to wear a mask.

I turned my head, avoiding him.

Ive been fine for a long time.

After bidding farewell to my brother, I turned and walked away.

Ben quickly followed.

I didnt understand why, seven years ago, he warned me never to appear before him again.

Now, he clung to me like a persistent shadow.

A row of shared bicycles was parked at the cemetery entrance.

Scan the QR code, unlock.

Before I could pedal away, Bens luxury car pulled up smoothly beside me.

Hanna, are you still alone all these years?

In the autumn sun, his eyes held a hint of cautious hope.

I nodded, offering no further explanation.

I had returned this time solely to tell my brother in person that I was getting married.

Such joy, I was too stingy to share with anyone but him.

Hanna, dont try to be strong alone out there. If you have any difficulties, remember to find me.

My number is still the same, it hasnt changed. I was just afraid you wouldnt find me if you wanted to contact me.

I couldn't help but tug at the corner of my lips.

I couldn't believe that the person who had personally severed all ties, wishing me dead, now stood there playing the part of a deeply devoted and regretful lover.

No, Im not interested in getting entangled with a married man.

I pushed hard on the pedal, and the bicycle carried me away along the long path paved with golden ginkgo leaves.

The wheels crunched over the fallen leaves, rustling softly.

This path, I used to know so well.

As a child, my brother and I loved to come here for morning runs and bike rides.

He always called me his shadow, but hed slow down every time to wait for me.

He loved to ruffle my hair, watching me stomp my feet.

Hed say even when we were old and grey, the two of us siblings would walk this path, leaning on each other, basking in the sun.

But now, I was two years older than him.

I cycled all the way back to the old apartment complex where my brother used to live.

Since my brother's accident, the place had been empty.

Opening the rusty security door, a stale smell wafted out.

A framed photo of the four of us hung in the living room, covered in dust.

My brother and I relied on each other from childhood.

Ben entered our lives when I was sixteen.

He said my brother had saved him from the river, giving him a second life.

From then on, he would be my brother's best friend.

Chloe and I seemed to be at odds from birth, often arguing fiercely over small things.

Until our senior year graduation trip, when a mudslide occurred at the resort.

Classmates were picked up by their parents, but my brother was away on a business trip, too far to reach us.

The rushing mud and sand instantly engulfed the hotel.

I was trapped under a collapsed beam, quietly awaiting deaths arrival.

Ben, however, ignored all danger, battling against the flow, digging with his bare hands from dawn until dusk.

Hanna, dont be scared, Im here!

He carried me, walking through the night.

It wasn't until he delivered me to the hospital that I noticed he had lost both of his shoes.

His feet were covered in crisscrossing, whitened, blistered wounds.

His fingernails were broken, his hands bloody.

Fool, why are you crying? As long as youre okay, its worth it even if Im crippled!

In that moment, he was my knight in shining armor.

On New Year's Eve, the three of us were making dumplings when a dishevelled Chloe showed up at our door.

She was my brothers teachers daughter. Her family had gone bankrupt, and she was hiding from creditors.

My kind brother gritted his teeth and took on everything.

He quit his beloved job to go into business, drank until his stomach bled, and narrowly escaped death several times.

In two years, my brother lost thirty pounds, paid off Chloe's debts, and won her heart.

We raised our glasses to celebrate, vowing to love each other forever, never to be separated.

As I stood lost in thought, the sound of a key in the lock echoed from outside.

The door opened, and Chloe and Ben stood abruptly there.

I had forgotten that we each used to have a key to this place.

Ben said you were back, so we figured youd be here.

You didnt even tell us you were coming back, so we could pick you up.

She stepped forward, reaching for my hand, but I avoided her.

This place isnt fit for living. Come back with us. The housekeeper is on leave, so theres a spare room.

I lowered my gaze. My current partners family lived in this city.

I had only come back to see my brother; later, I was to meet my future in-laws, whom I had never met.

I held out my hand to them, The key!

This house was bought by my brother and was in my name.

It had nothing to do with either of them.

Bens gaze swept complexly over the photograph in my hand.

Hanna, if Aaron were here, Im sure hed want to see the three of us doing well.

Chloe turned her face away, not daring to look directly at the photograph.

Ben walked straight in, took off his suit jacket, rolled up his sleeves, and picked up the broom from behind the door.

Chloe, you go open the windows and let some air in.

It momentarily transported me back many years.

Back then, the four of us often gathered here.

My brother cooked, Chloe helped, Ben did housework.

I was busy directing everyone.

Laughter used to echo in this small house, but now only silence remained.

I wiped the table clean and carefully placed my brothers portrait upon it.

In the photo, my brother smiled so gently.

I hadnt imagined the reunion of the four of us would take this form.

Chloe suddenly rushed forward, slamming the portrait face down onto the table.

What good is it to display this?

Seeing her panicked expression, I couldnt help but sneer inwardly.

Turns out, she too felt guilty, too ashamed to face my brothers clear eyes.

Hanna, Chloe is just worried about you. After all, someone died here.

You two know best how my brother died, dont you?

The broom clattered from Bens hand, hitting the floor.

The room was deadly silent, save for the sound of the wind outside the window.

The year after my brother married, all of us changed.

My brothers company grew busier and busier; he often didnt come home for days.

Until the day my brother secured angel investment, he was so happy he invited us out for a big dinner.

Halfway through the meal, he received a call from Ben, who was absent.

Aaron, Im in trouble. Theyve got me cornered at the bar.

My brother didnt say a word. He put down his chopsticks and rushed out.

He left, and never returned whole.

To protect Ben, my brother was brutally struck in the back of the head with a bottle.

When Chloe and I rushed to the hospital, what we saw was my brother, his intellect regressed to that of a five-year-old child.

He had forgotten everything, remembering only me, his sister.

My world had collapsed.

I endured the grief to care for my brother, yet cruelly rejected Chloe.

When brother was well, he loved you most. He certainly wouldnt want you to sacrifice your life for him.

Ill make the decision for him; you two should divorce!

Chloe clutched my brothers hands tightly, crying as if her heart would break.

I wont leave Aaron, not even if I die.

She chose to stay, without hesitation.

I renounced my inheritance rights to my brothers company, giving everything to Chloe.

Ben was overcome with self-reproach, holed up in his room, drinking himself into oblivion.

Until Chloe kicked open his door and slapped him hard.

If you want to be worthy of Aaron, then take good care of his company and this home.

From that day on, Ben seemed like a changed man.

He joined my brothers company and took on the heavy burden of caring for us.

At that time, I was immersed in immense grief and uncertainty about the future.

Bens companionship and support became my only lifeline.

He and I got a marriage certificate, vowing at my brother's bedside to care for me for the rest of my life, on his behalf.

Bens phone rang, interrupting my recollections.

As if eager to shed the shackles of old memories, Chloe became unusually talkative.

Dont blame Ben; hes now the owner of a listed company, very busy.

She ran a hand through her hair, deliberately exposing a large diamond necklace on her neck.

This was for my birthday last month. He specially bought it for me at an auction in France.

Ben hung up the phone. What were you two chatting about?

Chloe, coy and intimate, clasped his hand.

I was saying that your neck looks bare, Hanna. Ill find a few necklaces I havent worn and give them to you.

My tone was flat, devoid of emotion.

No need. I find them dirty.

Chloes face instantly turned extremely ugly.

What do you mean?

I looked up, staring straight at her.

What do I mean? Dont you know in your heart?

If not for that accident, my brother would be flourishing now.

My brothers regression to childhood was a pain I couldnt overcome.

But life had to go on, and in the quiet of the night, I would secretly feel grateful.

Grateful that my brother had left me two family members who were closer than blood.

The night before I left for college, Ben promised me again and again that he would take good care of my brother.

In my despair, like clutching at a life raft, I believed him.

Initially, he was indeed impeccable.

He seemed to want to give me all the love my brother couldnt.

Every half month, he would fly to my city, afraid I would be neglected.

Knowing I was afraid of thunderstorms, he would drive hundreds of miles every rainy day just to wait below my dorm building.

Hanna, when the first snow falls, well have our wedding. I want to make you the most beautiful bride in the world.

Southern City was warm all year round, but that winter was exceptionally cold.

The weather forecast predicted a once-in-fifty-year first snowfall on Christmas Day.

I secretly bought a ticket home, wanting to surprise them.

But when I opened the door, what I saw was

My emaciated brother, chained.

And before him, two naked, entwined bodies.