Abandoned at Birth

The first thing I saw when my eyes opened was my mother, quietly placing me in the incubator next to my own.

Mom, hurry up before someone sees, my brother whispered from the doorway. I only want Ruby to be my sister.

My mother nodded, then lifted the other baby from the incubator.

As she turned to leave, her eyes met mine.

I stared back at her, silent. I didnt cry. I just watched. A flicker of guilt crossed her face before her expression hardened.

Grace, she whispered, turning her back on me. Dont you dare blame me for this.

This time, she said, her voice a strained whisper, we cant lose Ruby.

In that instant, I understood.

I wasnt the only one who had been reborn.

In my last life, I was lost to them for nineteen years.

When they finally found me, they welcomed me home, their hearts heavy with guilt.

But on my very first birthday with them, the girl theyd raised as their daughter, Ruby, slit her wrists.

This time, they chose Ruby.

And they threw me away.

Id been back in this world for a few hours.

When I first awoke, a nurse was getting ready to give me my first bath. In my previous life, it was a moment of careless haste from that same nursemixing up my hospital wristband with another babys, a girl named Gracethat had cost me everything. My name, my family, my entire life.

In that life, I had been a picky baby, refusing to breastfeed. My mother, the woman who took me home, had just given birth but dragged her exhausted body back to work immediately, just to earn enough to buy me formula. She would eat one cheap takeout box over three meals but bought me the best money could buy. I grew up plump and healthy, while she, worn down by labor and malnutrition, collapsed at her factory job before I was even old enough to remember her face.

After she died, I was found on the verge of starvation in our tiny apartment and sent to an orphanage.

I stumbled my way to eighteen, graduated from a community college with no real plan, and was ready to just drift through life. Then, a routine medical check for Rubys college application revealed a discrepancy. My biological parents finally discovered that their real child was still out there.

One afternoon, while I was secretly reading a novel in the back of a lecture hall, I was called out of class. My life was about to change.

At first, my real parents, the Fairchilds, were consumed by guilt. They showered me with attention, desperate to make up for lost time. They even made Ruby give me her bedroom, terrified I might feel slighted in any way.

Honestly, I didn't care about any of that. A warm bed and a full stomach were more than I had ever dared to dream of.

But it wasnt enough for them. They tried to give me the world.

You are our real daughter, Grace, my mother would say, stroking my hair. I only wish I could pluck the moon from the sky for you.

For a while, I was bathed in a kind of love Id never known. I wanted a family so desperately. How could I not accept them when they were being so kind?

Slowly, I let my guard down. I started to trust them, to rely on them.

I thought my suffering was finally over. I thought that with my parents by my side, I would be the happiest girl in the world.

But lost in our reunion, none of us saw what was happening to Ruby, the girl we had all started to ignore.

On my nineteenth birthday, my first with the family, I closed my eyes and made a heartfelt wish to be with my parents forever.

Just as I was about to blow out the candles, a maid came skidding down the stairs, her face pale with panic. Its miss Ruby! Shes tried to kill herself!

We found her in the bathtub of my room, her lips a deathly white.

She was barely hanging on. When she saw my parents, a faint, satisfied smile touched her lips. She curled into my mothers arms. Mommy, Daddy, she whispered, in my next life, I promise Ill be your real daughter.

My mother clutched her, her body wracked with sobs. She almost fainted from the grief. You foolish, foolish girl! Why would you do this?

In my heart, you are my real daughter! You have always been my most precious child!

But Ruby just shook her head, her movements weak. Grace is the real one. Mommy, promise me promise you wont forget me?

Her eyes shifted to me. Grace dont worry A small, chilling smile played on her lips. No one will be fighting you for Mommy and Daddy anymore.

And Im sorry for making a mess in your room.

Tears streamed down my mothers face as Rubys body grew cold in her arms.

Ruby, dont go to sleep. Please.

Was it because I made you change rooms? Ruby, if you just wake up, Ill give you anything you want! Anything!

Wake up! Please, wake up!

Was it Grace? Did Grace upset you?

Ill send her back to the orphanage, Ruby! Ill send her away and never let you see her again!

I knew she was just lashing out in her grief. I tried to comfort her, but as I stepped closer, she shoved me away, her face contorted with rage. Get out! This is all your fault!

You! You killed her! she shrieked, her grief twisting into blame. If you had never come back! It would have been better if you had never come back! Why couldnt it have been you!

She pushed me again and again, sobbing hysterically.

It was just a room! Of course, a girl raised in poverty would be greedy and grasping.

My father stood beside her, his own eyes red with tears.

But I hadnt asked for the room. They had insisted.

I looked at him, my heart aching with a desperate need for him to defend me.

He just let out a heavy sigh, his gaze complicated. Grace, maybe

Maybe you should go back to the orphanage.

My time with them had been a dream.

Rubys death was the cold water that shocked me back to reality.

My brother, Alex, rushed home from college and slapped me across the face the moment he saw me.

We were siblings, flesh and blood. But our first real meeting felt like a clash of mortal enemies.

His eyes burned with a hatred so pure it was terrifying. You murderer. If you hadn't come back, Ruby would still be alive!

I only wish I had come home sooner, he snarled, so I could have killed you with my own hands before you drove her to this!

My cheek stung, the force of the blow sending me stumbling backward.

Through my brothers shocked gaze, I felt my foot slip on the edge of the top stair.

I tumbled.

The next time I opened my eyes, my tiny infant hand instinctively closed around the flimsy wristband on my arm. My grip was surprisingly strong. I held on to it through the entire bath, so tightly that the nurse finally noticed and re-fastened it securely.

Maybe this time, I thought, there wont be a mistake. Maybe this time, theyll love me.

But as the door to the nursery clicked shut and I lay in the incubator that should have been Rubys, the truth hit me with crushing certainty.

Even in this new life, I was the one they chose to throw away.

The effort of being born was catching up to me, and a wave of exhaustion washed over me. I didnt have the energy to be sad. I just slept.

The next time I was aware of anything, it was the gnawing ache of hunger. I opened my mouth, ready to unleash a newborns wail, when something soft was pressed against my lips. I was enveloped in a gentle, warm embrace.

If you dont drink today, little one, a soft voice murmured, Mommy will have to go buy you some formula.

I froze.

The memories of two lifetimes flooded back, and with them came an overwhelming sense of love and familiarity for this voice, this embrace.

This was her. My real mother.

I began to drink, gulping down the milk with a feeling of profound contentment.

The woman holding me gasped in delight.

But I only drank until the edge of my hunger was gone, then pulled away, smacking my lips to show I was done.

I think, maybe, fate gave me this second chance not to chase after something I could never have, but to cherish the love that was right here in front of me.

Sweet girl, why wont you drink a little more? she cooed, gently patting my back.

I turned my head away decisively.

Mommy, you need to take care of yourself, too. If I drink a little less, youll have a little more strength.

She couldnt understand, of course, and was about to try again when the door to the hospital room opened.

My biological mother peeked her head in, carrying several cans of formula. Oh, this hospital air is so stuffy. Hello there! Im in the room next door, and I see youve got a little girl, too.

I bought way too much formula, and you know how it is for us new moms. Please, take these. Think of it as a gift!

My moms eyes widened in surprise. Oh, I couldnt possibly.

But I knew she needed it. She had barely eaten anything substantial since giving birth.

Mrs. Fairchild pushed the cans into her hands, her eyes lingering on me with a strange, sad look.

Nonsense! We women have to stick together.

If you really feel bad about it, she added quickly, then just let your little one be my goddaughter. Its only natural for a godmother to spoil her godchild!

My mother, poor and alone, couldn't fathom the reason for this sudden, overwhelming kindness.

But I could. I saw the guilt swimming in Mrs. Fairchilds eyes as clear as day.

Just as my mom was about to accept, I, who had been perfectly quiet, took a deep breath and let out a wail that tore through the quiet room. I sobbed and hiccupped, crying as if my heart was breaking.

The godmother business was dropped, for the moment.

But my mother and Mrs. Fairchild became fast friends. Mrs. Fairchild was always stopping by with baby supplies, always using the same excuse of having bought too much. My mother knew it was a pretense, a way for this kind, wealthy woman to help her without hurting her pride. Though she didn't understand the source of this charity, she was deeply grateful.

The only problem was me. Every time the subject of being a goddaughter came up, I would start screaming. My mother loved me too much to see me so distressed, so she stopped mentioning it and instead focused on repaying Mrs. Fairchild's kindness in other ways, like sharing portions of her simple meals.

Mrs. Fairchild didnt give up. She would often bring Ruby over.

Its fate that we met, and its fate that our girls were born so close, shed say. Let them grow up together, like sisters. They can support each other in the future.

Sometimes, when we were alone, she would whisper to me.

Grace, Ive wronged you in this life. Im so sorry.

I promise, Ill give you everything I give Ruby. Everything.

Except for a mothers love.

She was torn between the daughter she had raised as a treasure and the daughter she couldn't bring herself to abandon completely. It was she who had orchestrated the switch in this new life, and now she was playing this hypocritical game, trying to create some kind of twisted balance.

I felt nothing but a cold emptiness.

I wanted nothing to do with the family from my past life. This time, my only family was the woman who held me. Everyone else was a stranger.

But I had to admit, Mrs. Fairchilds hypocrisy had its benefits. Her constant stream of gifts meant my mother didnt have to work herself to the bone. Over time, she not only avoided the malnutrition of her past life but even gained a little healthy weight.

That didnt change how I felt.

Whenever Ruby was placed next to me, I would summon all my strength to roll over and bite her.

She, in turn, would dig her tiny, sharp fingernails into my skin.

Neither of us could do much damage. I had no teeth, and she lacked strength. Our little skirmishes were always broken up by my brother, Alex.

He would shove me away with disgust and give a vicious pinch to the soft flesh of my leg.

Vicious from the start, aren't you? he'd mutter.

He was smart. He always pinched in places that wouldn't show. Even when my mother found the bruises later, she never suspected him. She just thought they were bug bites.

Because of this, I hated the whole hypocritical family.

The first thing I did when I learned to walk was to push Ruby over while she was still struggling to stand. When Alex tried his pinching trick again, I did the exact same thing to Ruby. Same spot. Same mark.

My shameless retaliation infuriated him. Eventually, he learned his lesson. He started watching Ruby like a hawk and stopped bothering me.

I was relieved. I begged my mother to send me to school as soon as possible.

This life, I was Grace.

I would not, could not, walk the same path as before.

Mrs. Fairchild still visited often. Seeing me study so diligently from a young age, she couldnt help but feel a pang of pity. Grace, you dont have to work so hard.

Come to my house. Come play with Barbies with Ruby.

Youre just a child. You should be enjoying your childhood.

She acted as if I had ever once acknowledged her as my godmother.

I gave her a cold, indifferent look.

Maam, first of all, I only have one mother, I said flatly. Second, Im studying so I can give my mom a good life one day. Please dont distract me. And please, stop coming to see me.

She froze, her face a mask of hurt.

I thought she would finally give up. But the very next day, she enrolled Ruby in my school.

Mrs. Fairchild made a massive donation to the school, effectively buying her way onto the board, and brought in all the elite tutors she had arranged for Ruby in our past life.

Ruby stood before me in her sparkling shoes, a look of pure arrogance on her face.

Grace, an ugly duckling will always be an ugly duckling.

She tilted her chin up high. I dont know why my mom is so obsessed with you this time around, but you couldn't beat me in our last life. This one will be even worse for you.

She waited, a smug look on her face, expecting a reaction.

All she got was a look from me like she was an idiot.

Whatever, she muttered to herself. Why am I even talking to a child who hasnt figured things out yet?

If Id known how important I was to Mom and Dad, I never would have faked that suicide last time. Its all your fault, really. If it weren't for you, I wouldnt have lost control and actually died.

Ruby mumbled on. My time is precious. I didnt come back to play house with a little kid.

Alex was waiting at the school gate to pick her up. Just like that, she skipped class.

I didnt care what she was doing. She was obviously using her knowledge of the future to get a head start on making a fortune. I had no interest in that. For one, I was just a child. And for another, my education in my past life was so poor, my social skills so lacking, that when the Fairchilds had tried to introduce me to their world, I had made a fool of myself at every turn. They never said anything, but soon, they took me out less and less, preferring to have Ruby on their arm.

This life, I was going to raise myself right.

In front of her mother, Ruby was a model student, brilliant and obedient. Since she had already learned everything once before, Mrs. Fairchild never noticed her constant truancy.

I, on the other hand, was starting from scratch.

As the years passed, Rubys wardrobe filled with designer labels. I graduated at the top of my class and was accepted into the citys most prestigious university.

Ruby didnt even show up for the final exams.

As I walked into the exam hall, she scoffed.

Only poor people like you have to take the long way around by studying.

She had every reason to be confident. After the exams, Mrs. Fairchild and my mom booked a fancy hotel to celebrate our graduation. Ruby just pouted and said exams were boring, and that was that. She was given a spot in the elite program at my university without even having to take a test.

Ruby had a good mother.

But so did I. And mine was better than anyones.

Once my mother was back on her feet, and after she realized how much I resisted Mrs. Fairchild, she stopped accepting her gifts. She only compromised when it came to educational resources she simply couldnt provide. Even then, she insisted on taking out loans to pay her back, refusing to accept charity.

Grace, you hold your head high, she always told me. I will never let you be less than anyone else.

For this graduation dinner, Mrs. Fairchild had proposed a celebration and had even invited the dean of our new university. My mom couldn't refuse, but she wouldnt be a freeloader. She insisted on paying for half of the expenses.

Not wanting to disappoint my mother, I went.

But when I arrived at the hotel, I saw that my mothers seat was in the farthest, darkest corner of the room.

Mrs. Fairchild stood at the head table, beckoning to me warmly. Grace, come quickly!

This is Dean Albright. Come and say hello.

Dean, please take good care of my two daughters.

Ruby snuggled up to her mother and chirped, Hello, Uncle Al.

Mr. Fairchild nodded at me, a pleased look on his face. Well done. Youve made us proud with your exam results.

They gestured for me to sit next to Ruby. The other guests were all seasoned socialites. They knew who I was, but they played along. Youve done a wonderful job raising your daughters, Mr. Fairchild. Both of them are so bright.

Alex let out a snort. Youve got that wrong. Only my sister is bright.

He glanced at me, his smile never wavering.

The other one well, my mother has a soft heart. She just let a stray leech off some of our resources. Think of it as feeding a dog.