When I Refused to Save My Brother

Dad Clara and mom Michael always gave me everything I wanted.

They would always tell Nathan to go easy on me.

When relatives called me a walking bone marrow bank, they'd shield me with their bodies, point at the door, and tell them to get lost.

They'd hold me in their arms and tell me:

You and your brother are equally important to us. Don't listen to anyone's gossip.

Until I turned eight, I grew tired of the constant pain from bone marrow extractions.

I refused to cooperate with them, to continue treatment for Nathan.

For the first time, my always soft-spoken mother lost her temper with me.

"If it weren't for your brother's serious illness, you would never have been born! You've taken away so much love that should have been his, and you won't even give him this small compensation?"

Michael didn't say a word. He forcibly held me down on the bed.

"Doctor, don't worry about her. Just do the extraction!"

I cried out in pain and struggled.

Clara found me too noisy.

After the needle was removed, she locked me in the sauna room and took Nathan to the hospital.

But they didn't noticethe sauna's high temperature setting had been turned on.

I pushed desperately at the door, but Clara had already locked it from the outside.

Clara, Michael, I know I was wrong. I'm willing to help treat Nathan.

Please don't abandon me.

The temperature in the sauna room kept rising.

I was soon drenched in sweat.

I heard the front door close outside.

Clara and Michael had already left with Nathan.

I used all my strength to push at the sauna room door.

Each time I pushed, the sharp pain in my lower back grew worse.

But the door still wouldn't open.

Clara had locked it from the outside.

The floor temperature had already blistered the soles of my feet.

The pain brought tears to my eyes.

The combination of heat and pain left me nearly collapsed.

Suddenly, I heard sounds from outside again.

Hope rekindled, I forgot about the heat.

I ran to the door, standing on tiptoe to reach the window on the sauna room door.

"Clara! Michael! Save me!"

"It hurts so much! I know I was wrong!"

I kept apologizing, banging on the glass.

Hoping to get their attention.

But what I heard was Clara and Michael's muffled conversation.

"This kid made me so angry I forgot to bring the documents. Now I have to make another trip."

"The bone marrow has such a short preservation time, and she's still making trouble!"

Michael sighed.

He was about to say something when his eyes caught sight of the glass on the sauna room door.

"Honey, I think Riley's crying. Maybe we should let her out."

Only then did Clara turn around to look at me.

I quickly tried to smile at Clara and Michael.

My intention was to apologize to them.

To act cute like I used to.

Before, whenever I did something wrong, if I admitted my mistake and smiled and acted cute,

they would always forgive me.

But this time, for some reason, Clara got even angrier.

She frowned and glared at me fiercely.

Her volume suddenly shot up.

"What's that look? You call that crying?"

"Look at hercompletely unrepentant. She even has the nerve to smile!"

I shook my head frantically.

"Clara, that's not it! I won't do it again!"

The heavy door swallowed my voice.

They could only hear faint cries but couldn't make out what I was saying.

Clara walked toward me.

My heart pounded with excitement.

I thought she had finally forgiven me.

Clara loves me after all. She was just too anxious earlier. It must be that!

But Clara stopped about two meters from the door.

She pointed at me and said to Michael:

"This door is so soundproof, yet she's still this loud. If we let her out and she disturbs the neighbors, should we come back or not?"

"And if we take her along, what if she makes trouble during treatment?"

Seeing Michael's hesitation,

feeling the temperature in the sauna room continuing to rise,

I panicked.

I reached for the metal handle on the door, trying to pull it open just a crack.

So my apology could slip through the gap.

The moment my hand touched it, a layer of skin was instantly scalded off.

The pain made everything go black. I screamed until my throat was raw.

But it only seemed to confirm what Clara had just said about me making noise.

Michael looked at me, then at the documents in Clara's hand.

"Forget it. Treating Nathan is what matters. We'll talk to her properly when we get back."

With that, Michael put his arm around Clara's shoulders and they left together.

The sound of the front door closing again extinguished my last glimmer of hope.

I took off my clothes and placed them on the floor to separate my skin from contact with the ground.

I curled up into a ball, hugging my knees.

"This way it won't hurt. If it doesn't hurt, I won't cry."

"As long as I'm quiet and well-behaved, when Clara and Michael come back and see me being good, they'll let me out."

I murmured to myself.

Even though every inch of my skin was burning with pain,

I bit my teeth and didn't make another sound.

I don't know how long passed before I completely lost consciousness.

I was awakened by Clara and Michael's voices.

When I opened my eyes, I saw Clara holding Nathan, gently placing him on the bed.

Her eyes were full of heartache.

"Look how pale his little face is. When will this ever end?"

She carefully tucked in the corners of his blanket, patting him soothingly.

"If only Riley understood but now she won't even do the bone marrow extraction to help Nathan"

Her eyes reddened, her voice choking with sobs.

I ran to Clara's side, hugged her leg, and looked up at her.

"Clara, don't cry. I'm willing."

"I won't complain about the pain anymore."

But my hand passed straight through Clara's body.

She seemed unable to hear what I was saying either.

Michael patted her shoulder.

"It's okay. Everything will be fine."

"Actually, Riley is usually very obedient. Let's let her out and talk to her properly. Maybe she'll understand our difficulties."

"I hope so. She's not young anymore. She should be more sensible."

Michael walked toward the sauna room.

I stood in front of him.

But he walked right through me as if he couldn't see me.

I stood there stunned for a moment, looking at my nearly transparent hands.

Finally understanding.

It seemed I had already died.

Michael peered through the glass into the sauna room.

But because I was sitting behind the door, there was a blind spot in his line of sight.

He didn't see my figure.

I, however, easily passed through the door.

I saw the small corpse curled up behind the door, skin blistered all over from the heat.

Michael turned to call Clara.

"Honey, Riley's not in the sauna room?"

Clara paused, then got up and walked to the sauna room.

"How is that possible? I locked it! She can't get out!"

She pushed the door.

"It's still locked. That child must be hiding in a corner sulking at us!"

As she spoke, she knocked hard on the door several times.

"Riley, if you come out now and apologize to us, we'll forgive you and let you out. You'll still be our good daughter."

"But if you keep sulking and throwing a tantrum, then you can stay in there! No dinner, no toys!"

I apologized desperately.

"Clara, I really know I was wrong. I'll help Nathan with his treatment from now on."

Clara still couldn't hear me.

She and Michael stood there listening for my answer.

Only silence responded to them.

After a long while, seeing that I still wasn't answering,

Clara's expression hardened.

"Fine! You've got backbone! Keep it up!"

"I really don't understand where I went wrong as a parent. You used to be such a good child!"

"I don't want you anymore!"

I stamped my feet anxiously.

Clara, I already apologized!

I want to keep being your good girl too.

I want you to love me like you did before.

Really.

Tears rolled down my face and hit the carpet.

They didn't spread into water stains like they normally would.

Watching Clara and Michael's backs gradually fade into the distance,

I cried even harder.

This time, they wouldn't comfort me like they used to.

Clara was tough on the surface but soft underneath after all.

That evening, she still made my favorite fried fish for dinner.

Michael filled a bowl of rice, added some food, and was about to bring it to me in the sauna room.

Clara didn't stop him. She sat silently at the table picking out fish bones for Nathan.

Michael took out the key to open the door and pushed it open a crack.

"Riley, time to eat. We have your favorite fried fish today."

The sauna's temperature setting automatically shut off after reaching maximum heat.

So after a full day of cooling, the scalding steam in the room had dissipated.

Only some stuffiness remained.

But Michael thought it was because the sauna room was an enclosed space, and with the door's excellent seal, the air conditioning couldn't get in.

He didn't think much of it.

Getting no response from me, he turned on the light.

"Riley, we need to"

Before he could finish, he realized that in the sauna room he could see from end to end, there was no sign of me.

He panicked immediately.

He went back to the living room to call Clara.

"Honey, Riley's really not in the sauna room!"

Clara followed Michael and pushed open the sauna room door again.

But like Michael, she only pushed it halfway.

I circled around in front of them.

"Clara, Michael, I'm right here! If you push the door a little more, you'll touch my body!"

"Or or if you just look behind the door, you'll find me!"

I pointed it out to them.

They had no reaction.

Clara thought for a moment, then turned to Michael.

"Aren't there two keys to the sauna room?"

Michael nodded.

"I think so. You have one, I have one."

Clara asked again.

"You've been using mine all day today. So where's yours?"

Michael searched all his pockets and briefcase.

He found nothing.

"Strange, where did it go?"

While Michael was still puzzled, Clara looked like she had it all figured out.

"What else could it be? Your precious daughter must have taken it!"

"When we used to play hide and seek at home, she would often cheat by locking herself in a room. We indulged herwhen we couldn't open a door, we just wouldn't search that room. She probably took it then."

"So all our kind words this afternoon fell on deaf ears. She had her own plan. She already took the key and opened the door, and didn't forget to lock it again to make it look like she was still inside."

The more Clara talked, the angrier she got. She pointed at the sauna room door and asked Michael:

"Can you believe how scheming she is! I really can't deal with her anymore!"

Michael tried to comfort her while going to my bedroom door and knocking.

"Riley, we're really getting angry!"

He pushed open the door. Inside was still empty.

Clara didn't look into the room again. She turned and went downstairs.

"Learning to run away from home at such a young age? She better never come back. It would be better if she died out there!"

"I am completely disappointed in her right now!"

I shook my head desperately.

I really didn't.

This time, even Michael didn't speak up for me.

That evening, Clara told Nathan a story and put him to bed.

Nathan asked Clara:

"Mom, you're telling me a story so early today. Don't you need to put Riley to bed?"

Knowing that Nathan still cared about me,

my heart lifted with a little joy.

Nathan is so good to me. I'll definitely help him get better.

Before I could think further, Clara's words completely chilled my heart.

"Don't worry about her anymore! I'm acting like I don't have that daughter."

She patiently and tenderly stayed with Nathan for a long time.

It wasn't until Nathan's breathing became steady that she reached up to turn off the light.

I wanted to stop Clara.

I was most afraid of the dark, always feeling like something scary would emerge from the pitch-black night.

I never dared to sleep with the lights off.

But now I couldn't touch the switch, and Clara couldn't hear me.

Clara always used to leave a light on for me in the living room.

Today she didn't.

I could only curl myself into a trembling ball.

I sat by Nathan's bed, watching everything around me warily.

I didn't sleep all night.

Early the next morning, Clara and Michael first took Nathan to school, then went to work.

Everyone tacitly avoided mentioning me.

As if it made no difference to this family whether I existed or not.

It wasn't until nine o'clock that the teacher called Clara.

"Mrs. Thompson, Riley didn't come to class today. Is she sick?"

Clara was so angry she slammed down her pen.

She suppressed her emotions and apologized to the teacher.

"I'm sorry, teacher. This child had a little conflict with us yesterday. I didn't expect her to skip school out of spite today."

"I understand. I'll find her and have her apologize to you."

After explaining to the teacher, she called Michael.

"Your daughter is now skipping school!!"

"Hurry up. You go to your mom's house, I'll go to mine. We have to bring her back today and set some rules for her!"

"So irresponsible! Nathan's medical bills, her food and clotheshow much does all that cost? If she makes us lose another day's wages, I'll dock her allowance for a year!"

Then they split up to look for me at their parents' houses.

But no one was there.

They also called the homes of several of my good friends.

Everyone said they hadn't seen me.

In a flash, the whole day passed.

Clara and Michael came up empty.

On the way to pick up Nathan from school, Clara received a call from Michael.

"Honey, I asked at Madison's house too. There's really no one left to ask."

"Do you think she might have been tricked by some creep Should we call the police?"

Clara opened her mouth. From the shape of her lips, she seemed about to say "okay."

Just then, Nathan walked out of the school.

Clara swallowed her words and waved at Nathan.

"Nathan, over here!"

Nathan walked to Clara's side and looked up at her.

"Mom, I told my friends today that our house is so fun! We have a pool, a playroom, a home theater, and even a sauna room!"

"They didn't believe me. They said no one's house has that many rooms. Mom, can I bring them over to see?"

He pulled Clara's hand and shook it.

I was the one who taught him this trick.

Clara froze for a moment. I wondered if she was thinking of me.

Then she snapped back to attention at Nathan's urging.

She nodded at Nathan, then said to Michael on the phone:

"I know. We'll talk when you get back."

"The chance she was tricked is low. We've always taught her not to trust strangers."

"Nathan wants to bring his classmates home. He's been taking time off constantlyit's not easy for him to have friends. We can't ruin this for him. Hurry home and tidy up the house, cut some fruit and have it ready. We need to treat the kids well."

Michael agreed and hung up.

I wanted to stop Clara, afraid it would scare them.

But I couldn't do anything.

Half an hour later, Clara brought Nathan and his classmates home.

They saw the pool, played with the toys, and toured the home theater.

Finally, everyone's footsteps stopped at the sauna room door.

One of the classmates spoke up.

"I've never used a sauna before. Nathan, can we try it at your house?"

As soon as this suggestion came out, the others chimed in.

Nathan agreed without hesitation and pressed the heating button.

Michael called them to eat fruit while Clara called the parents of the classmates.

First to ask if their children could use the sauna, and second to tell them the kids might come home late so they shouldn't worry.

Everyone was busy with their own tasks.

Nathan went to the sauna room to test the temperature.

The moment he walked in and closed the door, he screamed.