Keep the Pen Lose the Girl

Miles has a tongue like a serrated knifesharp, jagged, and designed to leave a mark.

When I first got my curtain bangs, he spent an agonizingly long time scrutinizing me. Finally, he let out a dry, hollow laugh. Did you honestly think your face wasn't round enough? You really had to frame it like that just to make sure you look more like a dinner plate?

I lost count of the times he reduced me to tears.

But he was gorgeous, and he always seemed to show up exactly when I needed him. So, I did what women in love always do: I gaslit myself. I told myself he was just one of those men who didnt know how to handle his own emotions. I told myself his cruelty was just a defense mechanism.

Then came the university club mixer. A freshman named Piper accidentally knocked over a carafe of scalding tea, and it spilled directly onto Miless arm.

If it had been me, he would have eviscerated me. He would have called me clumsy, useless, and a burden.

But as I watched, he only winced, glancing down at the angry red welt forming on his skin. When he looked up at Piper, his voice was soft. Almost gentle.

"Go to the infirmary and get some burn cream," he said. "What are you waiting for?"

That gentleness felt like a needle driven straight into my heart.

He had never looked at me with anything but irritation. Yet here he was, waving off the girl who had actually hurt him, making sure she wasn't too upset about it. It was the moment the floor fell out from under me. I realized then that he wasnt "bad at expressing himself." He was perfectly capable of tenderness; he just didnt think I was worth the effort.

The mixer ended in a blur of awkward silences.

Back at our apartment, Miles sat on the sofa, brooding and silent. I fetched the first-aid kit, my hands trembling as I tried to treat the burn. His arm was a mess of angry red skin and rising blisters.

"Can you please just be steady for once?" he snapped, his usual impatience flaring up. "Youre about to squeeze half that tube onto the floor."

My eyes stung with sudden heat.

"Miles," I whispered.

"What?"

"You were different with Piper."

He let out a sharp, mocking bark of laughter. "Jade, are you seriously doing this right now? Don't start with the crazy."

"I'm just saying"

"Ive known her for five minutes. Youre my girlfriend. Youre actually comparing yourself to her?" He yanked his arm back, looking down at me with a cold, superior distance. "Stop overanalyzing everything. If you spent half as much time on your coursework as you do on these imaginary dramas, maybe you wouldn't have been the one dragging your group's grade down on the last modeling project."

My heart sank into my stomach.

That project. I had stayed up all night with him because he wanted to watch the playoffs, and I was so exhausted the next day that I made a coding error. But in his narrative, the failure was entirely mine.

Seeing my silence, his irritation curdled into boredom. "Whatever. Im hungry. Go make dinner."

It wasn't a request. It was an order.

I walked into the kitchen like a ghost.

When dinner was served, Miles took one bite and immediately set his fork down. "Too much salt."

I had tasted it. It was perfect. But if he said it was salty, it was salty.

I reached for the plate to take it back and fix it, but he stopped me. "Forget it. Ill just deal with it."

He ate with a distracted air, his phone lighting up every few seconds. I caught a glimpse of the screen. It was Piper.

Piper: Hey, hows the arm? I bought some ointment, I can bring it to you tomorrow?

Piper: What do you like for breakfast? Ill pick something up for you in the morning!

Miless thumbs flew across the screen. His expression softened into something I had never seen beforea genuine, unforced kindness.

Miles: Dont worry about it. Its just a scratch.

Miles: Im not picky. Whatever you get will be fine.

I felt like I was being submerged in freezing salt water.

After dinner, as I scrubbed the dishes, he leaned back on the sofa, texting her back and forth, occasionally letting out a low, soft chuckle. That sound hurt worse than any insult he had ever thrown at me.

Late that night, I lay in bed staring at the ceiling. He wasnt "incapable" of kindness. He just didn't think I deserved it.

The next day, we met up for our senior capstone project. This project was everythingit was our ticket to the international design competition. There were four of us in the group: Miles, me, a guy named Tyler, and Piper.

Miles had pulled her into the group at the last minute, claiming her modeling skills were top-tier. He took the lead, as he always did, delegating the tasks. I was in charge of data mining and initial analysis. Piper was responsible for the final 3D modeling.

But with three days left until the deadline, Pipers section was a void. Every time we pushed for an update, she had an excuse.

"Oh, this data set is so complicated, Im getting so confused!"

"Miles, Im struggling with this algorithm. Can you show me how to do it? Again?"

She only ever asked Miles. And Miles always answered. He would drop his own work to sit with her for hours, patiently explaining things she should have known months ago. It was a level of patience I had only ever seen in my dreams.

I posted the final data sets to our Slack channel and tagged Piper. She responded with a cute 'thank you' emoji.

Piper: Got it, Jade! You're a lifesaver!

And then, silence.

As the deadline loomed, the rest of the team started to panic. Only Piper remained unbothered.

The night before the submission, she finally uploaded her model. When we opened the file, the entire group chat went dead. The core parameters were completely wrong. It wasn't a model; it was a digital wreck. All our hard work was essentially garbage.

Tyler finally lost it. @Piper: What the hell is this? Do you realize how important this project is?

Piper immediately spammed the chat with crying emojis.

Piper: Im so, so sorry! Its all my fault. Ive been feeling so dizzy and sick lately, I must have just clicked the wrong thing I swear I tried my best

Before she could even finish her apology, Miles jumped in.

Miles: @Everyone. Give it a rest.

He didn't aim his fire at the person who failed. He aimed it at us.

Miles: Piper has been sick. Did any of you even bother to ask how she was? Now that theres a problem, you just want someone to blame?

Miles: Jade, youre her senior, and youre my girlfriend. Couldnt you have helped her carry the load? You gave her the datadidn't it occur to you to double-check her work?

I stared at my phone, my body shaking with a cold, sharp rage. This was it. The ultimate deflection.

I took a deep breath and typed back: Now isn't the time for a post-mortem. We need a fix.

Miles: A fix? Its due tomorrow morning. You couldn't finish this in a week, let alone a night.

His words were dripping with condescension.

I didn't reply.

I logged out of Slack, pulled up the raw data, and opened the design software. My brain was firing on all cylinders, fueled by a sudden, crystalline clarity. If I couldn't rely on anyone else, I would rely on myself.

That night, I didn't just rebuild the model. I rebuilt myself. Every insult, every "round face" comment, every moment I felt like a second-class citizen in my own lifeI poured all of it into the work.

By dawn, I had built something entirely new. Something better.

I hit 'Submit' on the competition portal at 6:00 AM. Then, I collapsed over my desk, my strength completely spent.

My phone buzzed.

Miles: Stop wasting your time. I already emailed the professor to ask for an extension. I told him a team member was ill.

Miles: Where are you? Just come home and sleep.

I looked at the message and felt nothing but a dull, aching irony. I didn't text back.

I dragged my exhausted body back to the apartment. When I pushed the door open, I saw Miles and Piper on the sofa. She had red-rimmed eyes and was clutching a bowl of oatmeal.

When she saw me, she stood up tentatively. "Jade you're back. Im so sorry. Its all my fault"

Miles stood up, his brow furrowed in a dark scowl. "Where have you been? You weren't answering your phone."

It wasn't a question of concern. It was an interrogation.

"Jade, can you stop being so dramatic? I know youre annoyed, but things happen. What is pouting going to achieve?" He gestured toward Piper. "She knows she messed up. She apologized. What more do you want?"

He stood there, shielding the person who had nearly ruined our futures, while accusing me of being the difficult one.

In that moment, the final thread snapped.

I looked at him, my voice eerily calm. "Miles, were done. Im breaking up with you."

The air in the room turned to ice. Miless mask of irritation froze, then cracked into total bewilderment. He looked like he genuinely thought he had misheard me.

"What did you just say?"

"I said were done. Its over."

Piper gasped, her hand flying to her mouth, though I didn't miss the predatory glint of triumph in her eyes. Miles stepped toward me, his voice a low, dangerous warning.

"Jade, don't do this. Not over a project. Are you seriously that petty?"

Petty?

Two years of my life, two years of swallowing his insults and managing his moods, and he thought this was about a "project."

"Im not being petty," I said, feeling a strange, light sensation in my chest. "Im just tired. Im tired of being your accessory. Im tired of being the maid who gets yelled at. And I am definitely tired of watching you be 'gentle' with everyone except the woman who loves you."

I had finally poked a hole in his reality. His face darkened.

"You need to watch what youre saying. What do you mean 'gentle' with everyone else? Piper is a freshman. I'm her mentor. Thats it."

"Is it?" I let out a soft laugh. "Because you treat your 'freshman' better than your partner. She fails, and you blame me. She gets a cold, and you coddle her. I stay up all night fixing her mess, and you tell me Im being dramatic. Miles, look me in the eye and tell me thats normal."

He opened his mouth to argue, but his phone cut him off. He glanced at the screen, and his face immediately shifted. It was Pipers roommate.

"Hello?" He listened for a second, his expression turning to pure panic. "What? When? Okay, stay there. Im coming."

He hung up and grabbed his jacket. "Piper fainted. Her roommate says shes unresponsive."

He didn't even look at me as he bolted for the door. He just threw one last cold sentence over his shoulder.

"Well deal with your little tantrum when I get back."

The door slammed shut.

I stood there in the silence of the foyer, looking at the empty space where he had been. That was Miles. Even at the funeral of our relationship, one fake "faint" from Piper was enough to make him run.

Two years of my life had just become a punchline.

The tears finally came then, but I didn't let them stop me. I went into the bedroom, pulled out the suitcase I had tucked under the bed weeks agothe one I had been too afraid to useand started packing.

I didn't take much. Only the things that were truly mine. I left every gift he had ever given me. Including the Montblanc pen I used to treasure. I left it right in the middle of his desk. A period at the end of a very long, very bad sentence.

By the time I left the apartment, the sun was fully up. I checked into a cheap motel near campus. Once I was settled, I did the one thing I should have done a year ago. I blocked him. Everywhere.

I lay down on the lumpy mattress and felt a sensation I hadn't felt in years. I felt light.

That afternoon, my advisor called. "Jade, I need you in my office. Now."

I walked in to find Miles and Piper already there. Piper looked pale and fragile. Miles looked like he was vibrating with rage.

Our advisor, Professor Harrison, was a stern man who didn't suffer fools. He adjusted his glasses and looked at me. "Jade, what is the meaning of this?"

He pointed to his computer. "I received an email from the competition board. We have a double submission. Two completely different models submitted within hours of each other. Miles tells me you took it upon yourself to modify the final design and upload it independently. Is that true?"

Before I could speak, Pipers voice came out in a tiny, pathetic squeak.

"Professor, its my fault I shouldn't have accidentally sent Miles the rough draft I think Jade was just so angry with me that she she wanted to do her own version"

She was "apologizing" while effectively painting me as a rogue, vengeful teammate.

Miles chimed in instantly. "Sir, Jade has been under a lot of stress lately. Her emotional state hasn't been stable. We can handle this internally. Please, don't report this to the dean."

They were a perfect duo, painting me as a hysterical woman who had sabotaged her team. Professor Harrison looked at me, his disappointment palpable.

"Jade? Do you have anything to say for yourself?"