The Password I Never Knew

My parents gave me a bank card and transferred twenty thousand dollars into it every month for my living expenses.

But they never told me the PIN, so I couldn't access a single penny.

When I couldn't afford to eat and applied for financial aid, my mom tore into me.

We already gave you the bank card, and twenty thousand a month---you're still not satisfied? You ungrateful little jerk!

Then my dad suddenly fell into a coma and needed money to save his life.

My mom got on her knees and begged me to take out all the living expenses they'd transferred to me over the years.

I threw the bank card on the ground.

"Mom, you forgot---you never told me the PIN. The money can't be withdrawn."

My mom's face instantly turned deathly pale.

Late at night, my phone buzzed twice. My mom sent me a screenshot.

Cross-bank transfer -$20,000. Note: Living expenses.

[Iris, this month's twenty thousand has been transferred to you. Don't let yourself go without at school.]

The phone screen's light reflected on my face. I stared at that string of numbers, my fingertips going cold.

[Mom, I need to talk to you about something.]

My mom seemed to be in a good mood: [Sure, go ahead.]

I took a deep breath, trying to keep my voice from sounding too tense.

[Could you... tell me the bank card PIN?]

I waited an hour before my mom replied:

[Why are you suddenly asking for the PIN? Are you getting into trouble out there? Twenty thousand a month and you're still not satisfied?]

I gripped my phone tightly, my heart pounding.

No, Mom, you transfer living expenses to the card but never told me the PIN.

I can't withdraw a single penny.

Lately I've been eating nothing but bread rolls.

I really can't take it anymore. I don't need that much money a month.

Five hundred would be fine. Just transfer it directly to my SnapChat instead of the bank card.

I can't access it.

The next moment, my mom's name flashed on the screen. I quickly put in my earbuds.

"Iris, have I been bad to you? Twenty thousand a month!

I even gave you the bank cardwhat more do you want?

Always making demands. You ungrateful little jerk!"

"Mom, the card is useless to me if I don't know the PIN..."

My mom's voice turned shrill.

"Why should I tell you the PIN?

That's your father's and my money!

We're not dead yet, and you're already eyeing our assets.

Have you no shame? I gave you the card, I transferred the money and now you want the PIN too?

Why don't you just fly to the moon? So greedy!"

I instantly understood what my mom was implying: the money was transferred for show, not for me to actually spend.

The call ended. I climbed down from my bed, pulled out a bread roll from a plastic bag, and slowly took a bite.

The roll was cold and hard. I nearly choked and had to gulp down several mouthfuls of cold water.

My roommate looked at me sympathetically. "Iris, eating bread rolls again? Don't your parents send you any living expenses?"

I nodded.

It was laughable, really. My other roommates got two thousand a month and lived comfortably.

I supposedly got twenty thousand a month but couldn't access a dime of it, surviving only on part-time jobs.

I'd lived like this for three whole years.

The next morning, I tried to open my eyes, but my eyelids felt gritty and wouldn't lift.

My throat felt like it was filled with charcoal painful and parched.

I forced myself to sit up and took my temperature: 101.7F.

Messages popped up on my phone: [Iris, it's already nine o'clock.

Why aren't you here yet? We pay our part-timers daily!

In my condition, there was no way I could work today. I opened SnapChat. Balance: $3.52.

That wasn't even enough to buy cold medicine.

Left with no choice, I called my mom.

"Mom, I have a fever---over 101 degrees. Could you transfer me some money so I can get medicine from the clinic..."

I was met with a tirade.

"Didn't I just transfer you twenty thousand yesterday?

And you're asking for more money!

You're like a vampire, trying to bleed us dry until you're satisfied!"

My face burned, but my palms were ice cold. I sank into my chair, my voice hoarse and angry.

"Yes, you transfer me twenty thousand every month, you gave me a bank card but you won't tell me the PIN.

That card is worthless to me! Three years.

Do you know how I've survived each month?

I hand out flyers, tutor students, wash dishes.

I've earned every penny of my living expenses myself.

I haven't spent a cent of your money!

You transfer money to the card but won't let me use it---who exactly are you putting on this show for?"

There was silence on the other end, then my mom's shrill voice.

"What, your parents are good to you and you don't appreciate it?

Now you're blaming us?

I gave you the card whether you can withdraw the money is your problem!

Serves you right!"

My dad tried to smooth things over. "Iris, you're still young. When you get married, Dad will definitely tell you the PIN..."

"You dare tell her the PIN and see what happens!

What does a girl need all that money for? If she gets involved in something indecent, I won't be able to show my face!"

I wiped away my tears and swallowed the bitterness in my mouth.

After borrowing money from my roommate, on my way back I saw Lily's social media post: [Thanks to my employer for the treats!]

Lily was the daughter of our housekeeper, Mrs. Parker.

My mom doted on her treated her better than her own daughter.

The image showed a SnapChat transfer from my mom for five thousand dollars. Note: Buy yourself some snacks.

The plastic bag in my hand crashed to the ground.

Lily---a complete stranger with no blood relation to my mom---casually received five thousand dollars.

And I, her biological daughter, running a high fever, had to borrow money from others just to buy a pack of cold medicine.

A few days later, the school began accepting applications for financial aid.

I filled out the materials and submitted them, but before long, they were rejected.

When I heard the news, I couldn't help rushing to the office.

"Professor, I'm in financial difficulty.

I've been working part-time jobs and meet the poverty criteria.

Why was my application rejected?"

The professor didn't look at me. She lifted her teacup, took a sip, then set it back down.

The office was silent. No one answered me just the sound of fingers tapping on keyboards.

This dismissal gave me an ominous feeling.

I stepped forward and repeated myself clearly and loudly:

"Professor, why wasn't my financial aid application approved? What's the reason?"

The professor finally looked up. She adjusted her glasses, a contemptuous smile on her face.

"Miss Iris, at this school you need to learn how to be a decent person first. If someone's morals are rotten, good grades won't help!"

Her voice wasn't loud, but it reached everyone in the room. I felt a chill run through me. "What do you mean by that?"

"Iris, your mother just called personally.

She transfers you twenty thousand dollars every month.

Do you know what twenty thousand means?

How many people work half a year to earn that much!

How dare you claim to be poor!"

I opened my mouth to defend myself.

"My parents transfer twenty thousand a month, that's true, but the money stays in the bank card. They won't tell me the PIN, so I..."

"Miss Iris, please stop making excuses. Wrong is wrong.

You're an adult don't you have the courage to admit it?"

Sweat dripped from my forehead onto my faded shirt.

I clenched my fists. "You can check my spending records, my bank statements.

I really..."

"Enough! You're a student with higher education how can you be so shameless!

Now please leave and stop taking up spots meant for students who actually need help."

"Also, I'm informing you that the financial aid will be given to Lily instead."

A wave of cold swept up my spine.

"Why? Lily travels, shops, and watches movies all the time---she lives better than most students. What qualifies her for financial aid?"

The professor slammed her desk.

"Because Lily's mother works as a housekeeper in your home! Her family has it hard. That alone qualifies her for the aid---not someone like you!"

In the office, everyone's eyes fixed on me---disdainful, mocking, gleeful. Several phones quietly pointed in my direction.

I don't remember how long I stood in that office. Finally, another professor took pity on me and said quietly, "Student, just go. If you keep arguing, you'll only hurt yourself."

Back in the dorm, when I greeted my roommates, the one I was closest to turned away, her tone cold:

"Iris, I never thought you'd be this kind of person. You're clearly rich but kept crying poverty in front of us. Pay back the money I lent you as soon as possible."

After transferring the money to my roommate, my dad called.

"Iris, I heard about the financial aid. Don't be angry. Your mom means well..."

"Dad, Mom transferred five thousand to Lily the other day. You knew about that, right?"

Silence on the other end.

I bit my teeth, my nails digging deep into my palm.

"She transfers five thousand to a housekeeper's daughter but ignores her own daughter---won't even give me five hundred. Is that appropriate?"

"That's different. Mrs. Parker has it hard. Your mom is kind-hearted..."

I laughed. "Kind-hearted? So kind-hearted I can't even afford to eat? What does Lily's mom have to do with you? Are you people crazy?"

My dad sounded annoyed. "Iris, how can you talk like that!"

"I'm going to talk like this.

During summer break before senior year, you took Lily on an overseas trip and made me work a summer job.

When college started, I took a nine-hour hard-seat train ride by myself while you personally drove Lily to her school.

Now I don't have a penny for living expenses while she's eating and drinking well on your money! You're sick. Insane!"

My dad gasped on the other end. He was angry but couldn't refute me because I was telling the truth.

"Dad, you're the one who opened this bank card. Tell me---what's the PIN?"

Before my dad could answer, my mom's voice rang out:

"If you dare tell her the PIN, I'll divorce you today! I'm done!"

My dad became hesitant again. "Iris, when you're more mature, I'll definitely give you the PIN..."

I pulled at the corner of my mouth.

"No need."

I'd been hearing this line since the day I got the bank card---for three whole years. I was tired of it.

I pulled out the bank card---the one that always showed "incorrect PIN" no matter how many times I tried.

I stared at it for a few seconds, then violently threw it on the ground.

Late that night, I was jolted awake by urgent ringing.

My mom was crying so hard she could barely breathe:

"Iris, come back right away---something happened to your dad!"

I bought the earliest train ticket back. The house was already packed with relatives. At the sound of my arrival, everyone turned to look at me.

I stood in the doorway. My mom lunged at me, nearly knocking me over.

"Iris, your dad suddenly collapsed. He's unconscious in the hospital. The doctor says he needs immediate surgery---the medical bills will be about three hundred thousand..."

My hand tightened on my suitcase handle.

My mom looked at me and finally revealed her true purpose.

"We transfer you twenty thousand every month, don't we? After three years, that should be at least three or four hundred thousand. Take it all out and save your father..."

I rubbed my sore arm where she'd hit me and said nothing.

"Iris!" My mom's voice was sharp and shrill.

"That's your father!

You have so much money in your card it's all from us and now you're going to watch him die?

Your conscience has been eaten by dogs!

Oh, my life is so miserable! I might as well die!"

My mom wailed, but her eyes kept glancing my way. Relatives rushed to comfort her, their looks at me tinged with condemnation:

"Iris, how can you be so thoughtless? That's your parents' money. Hurry up and hand over the bank card!"

I let out a cold laugh, unlocked my phone, opened a recording, and turned the volume to maximum.

Instantly, my mom's malicious, contemptuous cursing echoed through the entire house.

"Why should I tell you the PIN? That's your father's and my money! We're not dead yet, and you're already eyeing our assets. Have you no shame?"

"You dare tell her the PIN and see what happens!

What does a girl need all that money for? If she gets involved in something indecent, I won't be able to show my face!"

When the recording ended, the room fell deathly silent.

I put away my phone and threw the bank card on the ground with a crisp sound.

"Mom, you forgot---you never told me the PIN. The money can't be withdrawn."

Under the shocked stares of the relatives, my mom's face instantly turned deathly pale.