A Stardom Without You

At 11:59 PM, a new post suddenly appeared on the Instagram of Ham Mellark, the celebrated Oscar-winning actor.

Happy New Year, and Hazel new year.

It was a seemingly ordinary New Years greeting. Yet, the comment section was filled with a sense of lingering heartache.

He put Hazel in quotation marks. Even in the new year, are you still thinking of her?

My Jazel ship broke up two years ago. Is there still a chance for them to get back together?

If you two can just reunite, Ill do anything!

The posts popularity soared, instantly hitting the trending topics.

#JazelHeartbreak became the top trending hashtag.

More and more shipping fans were reawakened, some even flooding my comment section with messages.

Hazel, please look back at Ham Mellark!

Hazel, your relationship was so strong back then, you even had a joint couples account. I dont believe you two are truly over!

Can you respond to this trending topic?

I ignored them all, simply folding the advanced stage stomach cancer diagnosis report. A draft obituary, set to auto-post two months from now, sat in my accounts draft box.

Let that be the response theyre looking for.

1.

My young assistant clutched her phone, casting a cautious glance at me.

Ms. Miller, should we respond to this trending topic?

I let the makeup artist continue patting thick foundation onto my face.

Dont bother.

After all, in two months, there would naturally be a response.

The assistant stood her ground, unmoving. I knew she had more to say. Sure enough, after a moments hesitation, she spoke:

Ms. Miller, actually I was a huge fan of you two as a couple. I still remember your wedding like it was yesterday

Realizing she had said too much, she quickly stopped herself.

I just wanted to ask, do you truly feel nothing for Mr. Mellark anymore? Not even a tiny bit?

The makeup artists movements slowed slightly, as if waiting for my answer too.

Scenes from the past flashed before my eyes: from our first meeting on set to the monumental wedding that shocked the entire entertainment industry. I smiled, my voice soft but firm.

No.

Not a single bit.

The assistant looked somewhat disappointed. The makeup artist said nothing, simply exhaling a quiet sigh. My agent, Serena, pushed open the door and entered then.

After a brief chat, she suddenly spoke with a complex tone:

Ham Mellark will also be at tonights script reading.

I hummed in acknowledgment. Serena paused, then continued:

If you need some time, I can speak with the director. We can skip tonights reading first

No need.

I cut her off, patting her hand reassuringly.

Ill be there on time tonight.

Serena said nothing, and silence filled the room. I looked at everyones expressions, feeling a little helpless. Aside from the fact that I was dying, so many years had passed, and I had long moved on. Yet, everyone around me seemed more heartbroken than I was.

I smiled, changing the subject.

Alright, for now, I just want to focus on this project.

After finishing my makeup, I went to the restroom and reached up to remove my wig. The woman in the mirror stared back, her head completely bald. The makeup, thick as a mask, was meant to conceal the mottled patches on my face from my illness, making me look like a ghost. But thankfully, Id always worn heavy makeup since my debut, so no one would notice anything amiss. The only time my makeup was natural was at my wedding to Ham Mellark. Thanks to him, after that grand wedding, my long-maligned public image actually improved significantly.

Back then, I thought I had finally overcome rock bottom and ushered in a new beginning. I never imagined it was merely stepping from one abyss into another.

2.

At 7 PM, I arrived at the hotel precisely on time. My assistant suddenly rushed over to tell me that the supporting actress with whom I had scenes had been replaced by Iris Lane.

Iris Lane, the actress I never got along with.

Wasnt the casting decided a long time ago?

My assistant looked confused. Serena asked, and they said it was the investors decision.

She paused, then lowered her voice. They also hinted that it might be because weve been ignoring Mr. Mellark on social media, making him angry

Hearing that, I twitched the corner of my mouth. All these years, Ham Mellark hadnt changed one bit. To make me compromise, hed pull out all the stops, even if it meant hurting me.

I took a deep breath. As I pushed the door open, everyones gaze instinctively turned in one direction. The man sat in the corner, thick script in his finely boned hands. The atmosphere hung heavy for a moment, then, with unspoken understanding, everyone averted their eyes.

In the latter half of the script reading, I went to the balcony for some air. As I walked out, I saw Ham Mellark standing there. Seeing me, he nonchalantly put out the cigarette in his hand. I politely apologized. Excuse me, I didnt realize anyone was here. Ill leave immediately.

Just as I turned, my arm was grabbed.

Been avoiding me for two years, still not enough?

Without thinking, I shook off his hand. Ham Mellark frowned, his tone chilling. Hazel Miller, I told you, my patience is limited.

If you keep this up, Ill make you disappear from Hollywood for good!

I certainly believed he had that power. Hadnt he almost succeeded back then? Endless scandals, trending topics that couldnt be suppressed. I didnt look at him, walking off the balcony without a backward glance.

Just as I entered the restroom, a sudden metallic taste filled my throat. I vomited a large mouthful of fresh blood, my crimson lips making me look even more like a hanged ghost. A tissue was handed to me. I turned, meeting my assistants red-rimmed eyes.

Ms. Miller, lets not do the reading, okay?

Lets go back and rest

I was about to refuse when my assistant suddenly choked out, I saw Mr. Mellark yelling at you. Youre already like this, and you still have to put up with this outside. Didnt he love you the most back then? Why is he treating you like this too?

Ms. Miller, why did you two break up back then?

I looked at her. After a long moment, I reached out and gently ruffled her hair. It wasnt surprising she felt so heartbroken. Ham Mellarks love for me back then had indeed been passionate and extravagant. He showered me with countless resources, elevating me from an unknown talent to a hugely popular star. Then, at the peak of my fame, he married me, openly declaring to the entire industry that he was my rock. Everyone said I was lucky, that Ham Mellark was my good fortune.

If Ham Mellark hadnt fallen for another girl, perhaps we would have been very happy. No arguments, no divorce. We might have had a beautiful baby, and my illness would still have been treatable.

Alas, there are no ifs.

3.

My memory of Clara Belle isnt very vivid anymore. I only recall first hearing her name when Ham Mellark complained, brows furrowed. He said this young actress had no talent and was stubborn, probably a troublesome signing. Gradually, he started saying Claras progress was slow but she was diligent enough.

Her parents passed away early; shes been struggling on her own until now, shes a pitiful soul.

I paused mid-bite, instinctively looking up at him. I remembered how Ham Mellarks affection for me had begunhe pitied my struggles. He started pouring massive resources into Clara Belle. I casually asked if he was giving Clara too much attention. Ham Mellark smiled, pinching my cheek.

Hazel, I just think shes like you in your early years, thats why I want to help her.

The affection in his eyes was so genuine, I believed him.

Until he gave a role I had worked so hard to get to Clara Belle. I confronted him, asking Ham Mellark why. He, however, looked at the papers in his hand, not even raising his head.

Its just one role, dont be so petty.

I wanted to say it wasnt about being petty; this role was one I had immersed myself in over several sleepless nights. But Ham Mellark cut me off. His tone was cold, his eyes showing impatience.

Youve already achieved so much. Whats wrong with giving some opportunities to younger people?

Your journey wasnt easy either. Why cant you empathize with others?

The very empathy he once felt for my struggles now became a blade he used against me. My body trembled, fighting back tears, as I argued fiercely with Ham Mellark.

Until I pulled out my phone, intending to delete the couples account we had managed together for five years. Ham Mellark, his face dark, stopped me. He called the director, telling him to give my original role back. After a moment of polite conversation, he suddenly changed his tone.

Isnt the supporting role in this series still open?

Give it to Clara Belle. Shes more suited for a resilient and strong character like that.

With that, he didnt look at me again, turned, and stormed out of the office, slamming the door so hard it echoed.

For the next week, we worked as usual, maintaining appearances. We continued to hold hands, attending various galas together. But the moment we were out of public view, Ham Mellark would immediately let go of my hand, as if I were something unclean. His schedule also became a secret from me; sometimes, I couldnt reach him for a whole week.

I updated our couples account every week. Fans commented below:

Why are all these photos from last month? Havent you taken any new ones recently?

I didnt know how to reply. Because I hadnt seen him in a month.

That day, I went to Ham Mellarks agent for the first time, begging him for half a day to disclose Ham Mellarks itinerary. I immediately rushed over by car. All the way there, my heart pounded inexplicably fast. When I got out of the car, the strap of my high heel suddenly snapped, and my ankle immediately swelled up. I endured the pain, limping as I opened the door to Ham Mellarks hotel room, where he was supposedly resting.

In the dim, ambiguous light, Ham Mellark and Clara Belle were tangled on the bed, their clothes disheveled. The sounds rose and fell, crawling into my ears like insects.

But in that instant, my love, my future, the fans who deeply loved the Jazel pairingall of this overshadowed my heartbreak and fury at being betrayed.

I backed out of the door, separating myself and the paparazzi who had secretly followed me from their space of pleasure.