The Hundred Chances I Gave You

Julian's proposalwhich I personally helped plan for my best friend Quinnwas a huge success.

After the celebration died down, Quinn pushed Julian toward me with a grin, egging him on.

Julian, your turn! Why don't you propose to Jenna today too? We'll have double the celebration!

The spotlight swung onto Julian. I held my breath, waiting.

But he only gave a faint smile, walked past everyone, and headed straight backstage.

When he came out again, he was holding the hand of a girl covered in sweat, his tone casual and straightforward.

"Come on, Quinn, don't mess around. You only succeeded because Iris was backstage holding up the signs. You should really thank her properly."

"Absolutely! Let's do Japanese food!"

I stood awkwardly to the side, laughing at my own naivety.

Seven years. I'd given Julian ninety-nine chances.

This was the hundredth. And the last.

Julian, I'm done waiting.

The romantic music from the proposal scene still looped in the background.

He smiled and walked over to me.

The next second, he pulled a few pieces of candy from his suit pocket and held them out.

"Today's their day, after all. It wouldn't be appropriate for me to propose here."

"I picked these out while packing the wedding favors for Quinn. Saved some of the nice-looking ones."

He shook his wrist slightly, his voice gentle.

"I didn't eat any. I saved them especially for you."

"Thanks."

I lowered my eyes, took the candy, unwrapped one, and popped it in my mouth.

Very sweet. So sweet it was almost cloying.

"Jenna, is the candy good?"

I didn't know when Iris had sidled up to me, her head tilting toward my side.

"I could smell the chestnut from way over there. I knew there'd be candy."

I didn't respond. I just silently opened my hand and offered the candy her way.

"Little glutton."

Julian suddenly laughed, his tone relaxed and natural.

"Don't steal hers."

As he spoke, he pulled out a few more pieces from that custom-tailored suit.

My gaze drifted overthat pocket was now completely empty.

"Quinn really splurged on this proposal. Even the candy is imported."

He turned his head, speaking casually to Iris. "Try some. Wedding favorsshare in the sweetness."

Iris held the candy, tilted her face up to look at him, her eyes curving into crescents.

"Thank you for thinking of me, Julian."

"After all, I was basically a human signboard for half the day. My arms are killing me."

"Take tomorrow off." Julian replied offhandedly. "I'll have accounting add a bonus to your check this month. Consider it compensation."

Iris's eyes lit up, and she gave an exaggerated bow.

"Thank you, Julian!"

She chewed the candy, patting her chest energetically.

"Julian, next time there's something like this, call me again! I may not have much, but I've got muscle to spare!"

"Count on me, and I guarantee you'll be satisfied!"

"Sure, sure. I'll call you next time."

Julian looked at her, the smile on his lips impossible to suppress.

Perhaps noticing my continued silence.

His gaze finally returned to my face, pausing slightly.

I spoke first.

"The candy's really sweet."

When the banquet ended and I reached for my car door, Julian caught my wrist from behind.

"Let's go together. Take my car. Leave yours with QuinnI'll pick it up tomorrow."

Before I could respond, he naturally took my bag from me, his other hand covering mine as he firmly shut the car door.

I stiffened but didn't argue with him anymore.

People have to move forward. You can't stay trapped in endless waiting, building your own cage.

The car merged into the deep night.

Watching the flickering neon lights outside the window, I suddenly felt so tired.

Tired of Julian. Tired of these seven years of unresolved feelings.

We drove in silence.

Until he broke it first. "Are you angry?"

"No." My voice was flat.

He turned to look at me, his brow furrowed into a tight knot. "Jenna, I know you've been waiting and it's been hard. But the overseas projects are crushing me. I'm stretched too thin. I really can't help it."

"How are we any different from being married right now? We're just just not legally married yet."

"If you can't wait, we can go to City Hall right now. We can get the license anytime."

Seeing my continued silence, a rare crack appeared in his usually composed expression.

"What do I have to do for you to believe me?"

I looked up, my voice calm. "You don't have to do anything. I believe you."

like punching a pillow, Julian turned to me in bewilderment.

"Then why haven't you said a single word to me from the end of the banquet until now?"

I turned back to the window. The neon lights still flashed tirelessly.

Red, yellow, greenthe same as every night for the past seven years.

But I knew clearly in my heart that Julian and I could never go back.

Back then, my parents strictly forbade me from dating, but when they found out I liked Julian, they relented.

Mom smiled and held my hand, her tone full of approval.

"The Wright family matches ours perfectly. Much more reliable than those social climbers out there."

"You two are in loveit saves us the trouble of an arranged marriage."

In the dim car, Julian's profile was still sharp and handsome, the kind countless people chased after.

But looking at him, I could no longer piece together the memory of that boy who used to blush when he smiled at me, who always put me first.

I spoke softly, my voice so calm it felt foreign even to me.

"Julian, let's break up."

The car lurched violently. I pitched forward, nearly hitting the windshield.

"Jenna, do you know what you're saying?"

The car stopped on the roadside. He turned his head.

The cramped space left me nowhere to escape. I was forced to meet his gaze.

The moonlight deepened. I had no energy to look at Julian's increasingly dark expression.

"The Ashford family rulesI told you when we first got together." My voice stayed level.

"Before thirty, if I don't get married, I have to accept an arranged match."

I smiled slightly. "Next month on the tenth, I'll be thirty."

The car fell silent. So silent only heartbeats remained.

"So you're breaking up with me to go through with an arranged marriage?"

Julian's voice trembled with anger.

"Jenna, won't you fight for us? Tell them you have someone you love. Marriage is just a matter of time."

"We will get married. I just... I'm not ready yet."

"I want to give you the best."

My chest suddenly felt blocked, sour emotions surging up.

I couldn't help asking one more time.

"How much longer would I have to wait?"

The moment the words left my mouth, I regretted them.

At this point, what was the use of asking these questions, waiting for his high-sounding excuses?

"It won't be much longer." He reached out to hold me, his thin lips moving to kiss me. I turned my head away.

His hand froze in midair, the light in his eyes gradually dying.

"Jenna, you don't trust me anymore?" His voice was hoarse with bitter laughter as he pounded the steering wheel.

Just then, his phone rang abruptly.

He straightened up, instinctively moving to open the door to take the call.

I beat him to it, speaking softly.

"I'll get out. It's easy to get a cab here."

I unbuckled my seatbelt and was suddenly stopped by him.

"Jenna."

"Let's just... let tonight's unpleasantness end tonight."

"I've had your birthday gift ready for a long time. Next month, I'll give you a surprise."

My hand on the door handle paused.

"Okay. Thanks."

His phone rang again, with a sense of urgency.

I understood. I quickly got out of the car.

It was Iris's custom ringtone.

No matter how deeply Julian hid it, how could someone as sensitive as me not notice?

I dragged myself home.

My gaze fell on the notebook on my desk.

Inside was everything about Julian and me, from burning passion to desolation.

So much time had passed, I'd almost forgotten how Julian and I had reached this point.

I sat at the desk, flipping through page by page, forcing myself to see the truth clearly.

Until I reached page ten, where Iris's name first appeared in my diaryalso our first fight.

Back then, she hadn't even graduated yet but got an internship at Julian's company.

Fresh and green, with clear eyes.

Like all college students entering society, carrying naive curiosity and vibrant energy.

Julian at that time was full of disgust for her, frowning as he called her noisy.

Said she was stupid, couldn't even make a cup of coffee properly, his face full of impatience as he wanted to fire her.

I watched Iris bow in apology with red-rimmed eyes and softened.

I tugged on Julian's arm, gently persuading him to give her a chanceeveryone makes mistakes, as long as they learn from them.

At that time, I thought I was saving a girl full of dreams who just needed guidance.

That night, Julian pressed me against the floor-to-ceiling window and took me all night long.

He bit my shoulder, his voice domineering.

"You like putting women around me that much? Beg me, and I'll keep her."

I wrapped my arms around his neck, whimpering and begging for mercy as we moved, but my heart was so sweet.

Later, Iris began infiltrating our lives at every turn.

Gradually, Julian's assessment of her shifted from stupid and noisy to sunny and lively.

His indulgence of Iris gradually exceeded what he showed me.

On our anniversaries, she could always appear with complete justification, tilting her head to offer a casual apology.

Then sitting beside Julian without a care.

When we were alone, Julian's phone would ring at the worst times, the caller ID always showing Iris.

Then he'd turn away and tell me, "Work comes first. I'll be right back."

And then he could leave me behind with a clear conscience.

It wasn't like Julian had done anything terribly wrong.

At least I'd never caught them in bed together.

But looking at my diary, densely recording every single moment Iris intruded on our livesonce, twice, countless times...

The ignored emotions suddenly lodged in my chest, so stifling I couldn't breathe.

Just as I walked out of the office at noon, I saw Julian waiting at the entrance.

Over six feet tall and straight as a pine, wrapped in a custom-tailored suit that showed off his broad shoulders and narrow waist.

He leaned casually against a limited-edition sports car.

Drawing frequent backward glances from passing female colleagues.

But the more dazzling he was, the more suffocated I felt.

I walked toward him step by step, speaking in a voice only the two of us could hear.

"Didn't we already break up?"

He looked up, casually removing his sunglasses, completely ignoring my words.

"I made reservations at that French restaurant you love."

He chuckled, reaching out to ruffle my hair.

"Jenna, stop being stubborn."

"It's such a small thing, and you actually held a grudge all night and are still giving me the cold shoulder?"

He was certain I'd soften, convinced he understood all my thoughts.

He was also confident I would never leave.

It belatedly dawned on me that these seven years had always been like this.

My chest felt like it was being squeezed by an invisible hand, sour emotions churning, choking me until I couldn't breathe.

I looked up, meeting his gaze, enunciating each word.

"Julian, I already agreed with my family. I'm going through with the arranged marriage."

Julian's smile froze on his face.

"Jenna, you're joking with me, right?"

His voice carried a tremor that was hard to detect.

The next second, he lunged forward.

"I'm your boyfriend! You're telling me to my face that you're going to marry someone else? What do you take me for?"

"Ex-boyfriend," I interrupted him.

Four words, light as wind but heavy as a thousand pounds, crashing between us.

Julian squeezed his eyes shut, raised his hand to his forehead, and let out a bitter laugh.

"Fine. Jenna, you're really something."

"You're always so self-centered. You want to get married, so I have to disrupt all my plans to humor your tantrum."

"If I don't go along with you, you threaten me with breaking up, with an arranged marriage. What makes you think I'll always give in?"

"Let me tell you, no one can control me. Including you."

I froze completely in place.

I thought that from the moment I decided to give up on him, I wouldn't hurt anymore.

From the first time he abandoned me for Iris.

From yesterday when he dismissed marriage talk with flimsy excuses.

From last night's thinly veiled phone call.

I'd been holding it in, maintaining composure, not crying, not making a scene, not falling apart.

I even wanted to part on good terms, to give closure to who we were seven years ago.

But tears still fell because of these few baseless accusations from Julian.

Like pearls off a broken string, falling endlessly no matter what.

"Julian." I heard my own voice shaking.

"I can't control you."

"But I can decide for myself."

I looked up. Tears blurred my vision, yet I was more clearheaded than ever.

"I've decided to give up on you."