I Stopped Caring About Your Love

The moment my adopted sister pushed me from the ledge of that ninety-ninth-floor penthouse, I watched my parents rush to shield her from the sight of my fall. In that split second of terminal velocity, everything became blindingly clear. All the love Id craved, all the expectations Id carriedthey were nothing but a self-imposed cage.

As the cage shattered against the pavement, I didnt find darkness. Instead, I woke up in a pool of sunlight, fifteen years old again.

This time, as I watched my parents bring Serena home for the first time, I didnt scream. I didnt beg for my place at the table. My parents blatant favoritism, my brothers protective streak, my childhood sweethearts "gentle" affectionthey could have it all. I simply didn't care anymore.

But why, this time, are they the ones on their knees, begging me to look at them?

I stood at the top of the grand staircase, my fingers trailing over the cool, polished mahogany of the railing. Down in the foyer, my parents were ushering in a girl who looked like shed been pulled from a Victorian tragedy. She wore a faded, oversized denim jacket and shifted her weight uneasily, her eyes darting around our limestone-and-marble entryway.

"Don't be afraid, Serena. This is your home now."

My mothers voice was a whisper of silk and honey. She reached out, tucking a stray strand of hair behind the girls ear with a tenderness that used to make my blood boil with jealousy.

Now? I felt hollow. A vast, echoing nothingness.

"And this is your brother, Sebastian," my father introduced with a beaming smile. "He took the train down from prep school just to meet you."

Sebastian, usually the stoic, distant athlete, pulled a beautifully wrapped Tiffany-blue box from his bag. "Welcome to the family. A little something to start things off."

His eyes, usually as cold as a winter Atlantic, were brimming with a protective warmth Id spent years trying to earn.

I watched the scene unfold like a play Id already seen a thousand times. No anger. No envy. Just the cold recognition of a historical fact. Serena took the gift with trembling hands, her face still carrying a touch of childhood softness, her expression a perfect mask of gratitude and grit.

She was a masterful actress. If I didnt know that ten years from now, those same hands would shove me into the clouds, I might have been moved. Even the memory of the wind whistling past my ears as I fell didn't spike my heart rate.

Did I hate her? I wasn't even sure. Hate requires energy.

"Maddie, honey, come down and say hi to your sister."

My mother finally noticed me lurking in the shadows of the landing. I walked down the stairs, my footsteps silent on the runner. Four pairs of eyes fixed on me.

"Hi," I said.

My voice was flat, a stagnant pool. I didn't offer the hysterical "Why is she here?" or the shrill "This is my house!" of my previous life. Those emotions had been cauterized.

Serena seemed startled by my lack of heat. She shrunk back into the shadow of my mothers designer coat.

"Maddie," my mother sighed, her disappointment already surfacing. "Serenas had a long journey. Cant you be a bit more welcoming?"

"There isn't much to say."

I turned and headed back up. Behind me, I heard my mothers embarrassed stage-whisper: "Don't mind her, Serena. Maddies just sensitive. Shes always been a bit difficult with strangers."

I didn't bother looking back. Their explanations, their narrativesthey were no longer my burden to carry.

I pushed into my room and shut the door, the sounds of the "happy" family muffled by the heavy oak. Everything was as it was that summer I turned fifteen. The room was a sanctuary of high-end teen decor, but it felt like a hotel suite.

School started in a week. I decided right then: I was going to boarding school.

"Knock, knock."

It was Sebastian.

He saw my open suitcase on the bed and his brow furrowed in confusion. "Maddie? What are you doing?"

"Packing for St. Judes," I said, not looking up as I folded a sweater. "Im requesting a dorm."

My brother stepped into the room, his voice dropping an octave. "Because of Serena?"

I tucked the last of my shirts into the corner of the trunk. "Sophomore year is critical for the Ivy track. I need to focus." I paused, then added, "Serena can have this room. Its closer to the master suite anyway."

In my last life, Serena had played a long game to get this room. First, she claimed she was afraid of the dark in the guest wing. Then she said she needed to be near Mom and Dad to "feel like a real daughter." Finally, shed cried, saying my room had the best morning light for her seasonal depression.

Back then, every time I refused, I was labeled "petty," "immature," or "selfish." The outcome was always the same, so why fight the inevitable? A bed is just a place to sleep.

Sebastian was silent for a long moment. "Maddie, look, I get it. Its a lot, having someone new move in. But you have to trust us. Even with a new sister, nothing changes. Mom, Dad, and I... we love you just the same."

Nothing changes.

I felt a ghost of a smile touch my lips. In my previous life, when I topped the state rankings, my father gave me a distracted "Good job, keep it up." When Serena moved from the bottom of her class to the middle, the house was filled with flowers and a celebratory dinner, with my parents praising her "miraculous resilience."

When I was hospitalized after a car accident, they sent a private nurse because they were "too busy with a charity gala." When Serena had a mild flu, they took shifts at her bedside, my mother weeping about how "Serena has suffered so much, we have to make up for all the lost years."

I snapped back to the present. "Sure, Sebastian. I know."

After he left, I reached into the back of my closet and pulled out a small, handcrafted wooden box. It was a music box my grandfather had carved for me before he died. In my past life, Serena had "accidentally" smashed it to splinters.

I had slapped her in a fit of grief. She had run to our parents, sobbing.

"I... I just thought it was so pretty, I wanted to see it. But Maddie screamed at me, she looked so scary, and I dropped it. I'm so sorry, Mommy! I didn't mean to!"

My mother hadn't even asked for my side before the lecture began. "Maddie, how could you lay a hand on her? Its just a box. Cant you be the bigger person for once?"

Just a box. But it was the last thing I had of the only person who had truly seen me.

I closed the lid, felt the weight of it, and tucked it into the deepest part of my suitcase. This was the only "home" I was taking with me.

At six o'clock, my mother knocked on my door.

"Maddie, dinners ready." Her voice had that forced, manic cheerfulness people use when theyre trying to build a facade of domestic bliss. "Its Serenas first night. Were having a proper family welcome."

I set my book down and followed her. The dining table was a spread of expensive catering and fine wine. But as I approached, I stopped.

My seatthe one between my mother and my brother, the one Id sat in for ten yearswas occupied. Serena sat there in a new floral dress, looking like a delicate porcelain doll.

The table was centered around her. My father was leaning in, showing her how to crack a lobster claw; Sebastian was pouring her sparkling cider; my mother was hovering, piling greens onto her plate.

"Eat up, honey. Youre far too thin."

"We had the chef prepare the sea bass specifically because you mentioned you liked it."

"Careful, its hot."

Under the warm glow of the chandelier, they looked like a perfect portrait of a family of four. And I was the intruder, the glitch in the image.

My mother caught sight of me and faltered. "Maddie, there you are! Sit down, don't just stand there."

I didn't move. I just looked at my chair. Serena caught my gaze, gave me a shy, flickering look of feigned guilt, and then ducked her head, staying exactly where she was. She knew whose seat that was. She just didn't care.

I let out a short, dry laugh. I walked to the table, grabbed a small plate, piled a few rolls and some salad on it, and turned back toward the stairs.

"Maddie!" my father barked, his face darkening. "Where do you think youre going?"

"The table is full," I said. "Theres no need to squeeze in an extra setting."

"Don't be dramatic," my mother snapped, her brow furrowing. "Its Serenas first day. Cant you just be a little accommodating?"

"I am being accommodating. Im leaving so you can enjoy your dinner."

Serenas eyes instantly welled up. She bit her lip, her voice trembling. "I'm so sorry... should I not have come? Ive made Maddie upset..."

"Its not your fault, Serena!" my mother cried, pulling her into a half-hug. "Your sister is just being difficult. Don't let it ruin your night."

Sebastian put down his fork, looking at me with a heavy, disappointed sigh. "Maddie, seriously? What is wrong with you today?"

I didn't answer. I just kept walking up the stairs, the sound of my own footsteps the only thing I cared to hear.

An hour later, my mother brought a tray to my room.

"Maddie, you barely ate. I had the kitchen save some of the bisque for you." She set the bowl on my desk, her voice softening into that manipulative, "gentle" tone she used whenever she wanted something.

It was my favorite soup. But looking at it, I felt nothing. I could see the hesitation in her eyes, the way she was rehearsing her next lines.

"Mom, just say it," I said, leaning back in my chair. "Lets skip the preamble."

She blinked, caught off guard. She cleared her throat. "Actually, I wanted to talk to you about the school year. I know youre set on the Honors track, but..."

She paused, choosing her words like she was walking through a minefield. "I was thinking... would you consider dropping down to the General track this semester?"

I looked at the soup. The steam was blurring my vision.

"Serena is coming from a very different educational background," she continued, her voice gaining a pleading edge. "Shes going to be so lost. If you were in the same classes, you could look after her. Youre so smart, Maddie. You could sleep through those classes and still get an A. It wouldn't hurt you, but it would mean the world to her."

I put down my spoon and looked her dead in the eye. "No."

Her face fell. "Just this once, for me? Shes so shy. If she doesnt have anyone, shell be completely isolated."

"So I should sacrifice my GPA for her comfort?" My voice was calm, but every word was a stone. "Im aiming for Harvard, Mom. Im not throwing away my record to act as a full-time tutor."

"Serena is different," she argued, getting frustrated. "She doesn't have your advantages. She needs help adjusting"

"Then hire a tutor," I interrupted. "Im not paying for her future with mine."

I stood up and walked to the door, opening it. "Im tired. Please leave."

In my last life, I had agreed. I didn't want to disappoint them. I moved to the General track, and Serena used that proximity to play the victim, making it look like I was bullying her in the halls. My grades plummeted as I spent all my time fixing her "mistakes," and I became known as the "mean, jealous sister" of the Sinclair family.

Never again.

Monday morning, I stepped into the Honors wing of the high school. The walls were lined with the plaques of Ivy-bound alumni. Everything was exactly as I remembered. Only this time, I wasn't leaving.

"Maddie?"

The voice was like a ghost from a past Id tried to bury. I looked up and saw Nate standing there, a wide, relieved grin on his face.

"You're actually here! I heard a rumor you were switching to General." He pulled out the chair next to him, assuming Id sit there, just like we had since we were kids.

In my first life, my heart would have done a frantic little dance at his smile. But now, all I could hear was his voice in that hospital hallway years later:

"Maddie, Serena needs me more than you do. You've always been so strong, but shes fragile. Please, just let me go. I love her."

The memory was a cold blade in my chest. I pushed the feeling down and gave him a polite, professional nod. "Just a rumor. How was your summer, Nate?"

He faltered, noticing the distance in my voice. "It was... fine. Maddie, is everything okay? You seem different."

I began organizing my notebooks, not looking up. "Class is starting. You should get to your seat."

"I..."

The bell cut him off.

The morning was a blur of high-level calculus and literature. During the lunch break, a roar of laughter erupted from the hallway.

"Oh my god, did you see her?"

"She literally walked right into the glass! Does she not know how a sensor door works?"

I felt a prickle of recognition. I walked to the classroom door and looked out.

Serena was standing near the lockers, her face a bright, burning red, a visible mark on her forehead. Her bag had burst open, spilling her things across the floor.

It wasn't the designer gear my parents had bought her. It was a collection of tattered notebooks, a half-used pen, and a pencil case that looked like it had been salvaged from a dumpster.

The students around her were whispering.

"I heard shes a charity case from the South."

"Look at her clothes. Is that vintage or just... old?"

Serena scrambled to pick up her things, tears brimming in her eyes. It was a perfect scene of a girl broken by the cruelty of the elite.

Right on cue, Nate appeared. He knelt down, helping her gather the weathered notebooks. "Its okay," he said, his voice a warm, comforting balm. "I did the same thing when I was a freshman. The sensors are tricky."

Serena looked up, and a single tear traced a perfect path down her cheek. "I'm sorry. I just... I didn't know."

Nate handed her a tissue, his expression full of that knight-in-shining-armor protectiveness I knew so well. "Don't cry. Everyone has a first day."

He turned and glared at the crowd. "Get lost, all of you!"

But the crowd didn't move. They gasped instead. As Serena took the tissue, her hand "clumsily" knocked Nates wrist, sending his watch flying. It hit the floor with a sickening metallic crack.

It was a limited-edition Patek Philippe, a gift from his father for his sixteenth birthday. Six figures, easily.

The hallway went silent. Serena froze, her face turning white as a sheet. "Oh no! I'm so, so sorry! I didn't mean to!"

She looked like she was about to collapse. Nate hesitated, but then his "gentleman" persona took over. "Its fine. Its just a watch."

But the vultures were already circling.

"That was a custom piece! There are only three in the country!"

"Can she even pay for the repair? Probably costs more than her life."

I watched from the doorway, my expression cold. I remembered everything now.

I knew for a fact that my mother had spent five thousand dollars on a full set of Montblanc pens and leather-bound notebooks for Serena the day before.

Serena had hidden them. She chose the trashy notebooks on purpose. She wanted to look "pathetic" on day one. Shed timed her arrival to catch Nate, the most popular boy in school, for this exact "heroic rescue" moment.

She caught my eye in the crowd, and for a fraction of a second, the "scared orphan" mask slipped. A glint of pure, jagged triumph shone in her eyes.

Her revenge against me for the dinner incident was coming faster than I expected.

That afternoon, I was called to the Principals office.

My parents were already there, their faces thunderous. Serena sat in a corner, her eyes red and swollen.

The moment I stepped in, before I could say a word, my mother lashed out. "Maddie, how could you be so cruel?"

Her voice was thick with shame. "The school told us what happened. You stood there and watched Serena be humiliated. You didn't say a word to help your own sister?"

My father shook his head. "Shes the only family you have in this school, and you treated her like a stranger. You let those kids tear her apart. Do you have any heart at all?"

I looked at them, and all I felt was exhaustion. They were wasting my study time. In my last life, this was the pattern. No matter what Serena did, it was my job to fix it, to protect her, to be her shield.

"Mom, Dad, please don't be mad at Maddie..." Serena chimed in, her voice small. "Its my fault. Im just stupid. I don't belong here."

The more "understanding" she was, the more my parents faces hardened against me.

My father looked at the Principal. "Dr. Vance, I think we need to discuss moving Maddie to"

My heart skipped a beat. In my previous life, this was where he forced the transfer. Id spent three years as a social pariah, while Serena took over my spot in the Honors track and built her empire on my ruin.

"I am so sorry!"

My voice rang out, sharp and sudden, cutting my father off.

Everyone froze.

I turned toward Serena and gave a deep, ninety-degree bow. My voice was loud, clear, and dripping with "remorse."

"I have been a terrible sister. I completely failed you."