Don't Marry Me This Time

After his Perfect Ghost died, Nate Harrison spent ten years hating me.

I spent those years trying to win him back, piece by piece, only to be met with his icy sneer. If you really want to please me, Evie, hed say, his voice a serrated blade, do the world a favor and stop breathing.

It was a phantom pain, a dull ache Id learned to live withuntil the night the world actually ended. When the burning rafters of our estate came crashing down, Nate didn't run. He didn't save himself. He threw his body over mine, absorbing the fire and the weight of the collapsing roof to keep me alive.

As he lay dying in my arms, covered in ash and blood, he used the last of his strength to flinch away from my touch.

"Evie," he wheezed, his eyes glassy and distant. "If I could go back... if I could just un-know you... how much better would our lives have been?"

At the funeral, Nates mother was a ghost of a woman, her voice dissolving into salt and grief.

"Nate, my boy... it was my fault. I shouldn't have forced you to marry her. If Id just let you be with Serena Blackwell, maybe youd still be standing here today."

Nates father didn't even look at me. He just stared at the mahogany casket with a simmering rage.

"He saved you three times, Evie. Three times he nearly died for a woman who brought him nothing but misery. Why was it him? Why couldn't it have been you?"

Everyone regretted Nate marrying me. Even me.

In the end, I climbed to the top of the Sky Deckthe highest point in the cityand let the wind take me. I closed my eyes, praying for an end to the guilt.

But instead of the cold embrace of death, I woke up ten years in the past.

This time, Im cutting the ties. Im letting him go. Im going to give everyone the happy ending they missed.

"Youre really something, aren't you, Evie? Manipulating my parents until theyre threatening a hunger strike just to force this engagement. Do you actually think a ring on your finger will make me love you?"

The voice was low, cold, and achingly familiar. I blinked, my vision blurring as I stared up at Nate Harrison.

He was standing in front of me, twenty-two years old and radiating a restless, arrogant energy. He wore a slim-fit navy suit, his tie loosened, looking every bit the Ivy League rebel he was back then. This wasn't the broken, haunted man who died in the fire.

This was Nate at his peak.

My heart hammered against my ribs, a painful, frantic rhythm. I was back. I was really back.

I forced down the sob rising in my throat and stared at him, greedy for the sight of him alive and breathing.

"You don't want to marry me," I said, my voice steadier than I felt, "because the person you actually want to spend your life with is Serena, right?"

Nate let out a harsh, dry laugh. "So what if it is? You going to step aside? We both know youre too selfish for that."

I looked him dead in the eye. "Actually, I am."

My parents had died in the line of duty, leaving behind a legacy that the citys elite whispered about in hushed tones. Theyd left me with a "Golden Ticket"a legal trust and a social standing so high that the Mayor himself had offered me any favor within his power. I could have married anyone. I could have had anything.

And ten years ago, Id used that leverage to secure a marriage contract with the Harrisons.

He froze, his eyes narrowing in suspicion.

"Youve got the contract. Youve got my parents in your pocket. Its a done deal, Evie. Why the sudden act of martyrdom? How exactly are you going to 'set me free'?"

"Im not playing games, Nate. Not anymore. Go wait for me by the East Gate. Im going to fix this."

He leaned back against the marble pillar of the gala hall, his expression twisting into a look of pure disgust. The look stung like a physical blow.

In my past life, Id loved Nate Harrison with a desperation that bordered on insanity. Hed saved me from a kidnapping when we were teens, and again from a car wreck. Id convinced myself his heroism was a sign of secret love. Id walked into our marriage with a smile, only to find a prison of his making.

It wasn't until Serena died that I realized I wasn't his partner. I was the person standing in the way of his soulmate. My ten years of devotion were ten years of psychological torture for him.

Before I "returned," an old woman at a roadside shrine had told me: If you get a second chance, you must resolve his three greatest regrets within twenty-four hours. Once they are gone, you must leave. Only then will the cycle break, and he will live past thirty. But every miracle has a price.

I didn't care about the price. I just wanted him to live.

I went straight to the family lawyers and the city archives. I did what I should have done a decade ago: I tore up the marriage contract and drafted a new oneone that would unite the Harrison and Blackwell interests.

I knew Nates three regrets by heart. Hed written them in a leather-bound journal I found after the fire: I regret marrying Evelyn Crawford. I regret letting my parents control my life. I regret not saving Serena.

The first regret was about to be crossed off.

I walked out of the hall and found him waiting by the gate. I handed him the revised document.

He looked at the envelope with a sneer, ready to throw it back in my face.

I pressed my hand over his, feeling the warmth of his skinreal, living skin. I offered him a soft, sad smile. "Don't open it yet. Wait until tomorrow. Think of it as a parting gift."

Nate scoffed. "Youre being weird, Evie. What, did the idea of being Mrs. Harrison finally break your brain? Youre acting like were never going to see each other again."

I smiled, my heart breaking quietly. "I just realized you deserve to be happy, Nate. Youre a good man. Whoever ends up with you... shell be the luckiest woman in the world."

"Whatever. I'm going home," he muttered, turning away. If I didn't know better, Id have thought he was flustered.

As his car pulled away, I caught the sound of people talking on the sidewalk.

"The meteor shower starts tonight at the Observatory! They say if you watch it with the person you love, youll stay together for seven lifetimes."

In my previous life, Id begged Nate to take me there. Hed looked at me with such icy disdain.

"Is one lifetime of you not enough, Evie? You want seven? Its a cheap tourist trap. Go by yourself."

The memory made me shiver, even in the humid night air. I climbed into my own car and pulled the door shut.

Suddenly, Nates car slowed down. He leaned out the window, his expression unreadable.

"You want to go?"

I blinked. "What?"

"The Observatory. Ill take you tonight. Consider it a... a pre-wedding tax. Im busy the rest of the week, so this is it."

I stared at him, caught between shock and a familiar, dangerous hope.

That was Nates problem. He was mean, but his heart was instinctively soft. He didn't love me, but hed still died for me. Hed saved me three times before the fire: once from those kidnappers (he took a knife to the hand, losing his chance at a professional piano career), once from a viral fever where he stayed by my bed for two weeks, and once from the fire that finally took him.

Nate Harrison was perfect in every way. Except for the fact that he didn't want me.

I knew that after tonight, we were done. Even if we saw the stars together, there would be no "seven lifetimes." But I couldn't say no.

"Okay," I said, leaning into the light. "Lets go see the stars."

We were halfway there when his phone buzzed. It was Serenas assistant. Serena had a migraine; she was "spiraling" and needed Nate.

Nates face hardened instantly. He pulled the car over.

"Serenas sick. I have to go check on her. Take a cab home, okay? Ill meet you at the Observatory later."

I nodded slowly. "Go. She needs you."

He paused, his hand on the door handle, looking genuinely confused. "Since when are you okay with me seeing her? Usually, youd be throwing a fit by now."

I opened my mouth to explain, but he beat me to it with a cynical smirk. "Right. I forgot. Were getting married in a month. I guess you figured she isn't a threat anymore."

He hopped out and climbed into a waiting car, never seeing the devastating grief in my eyes.

I didn't go home. I went to the courthouse to finalize my exit papers, then I went to the Harrison estate.

Diane Harrison had a full dinner waiting for us. She loved me like the daughter she never had.

I took off my coat and draped it over her shoulders. "Its chilly tonight, Diane. You need to stay warm."

She beamed at me, holding my hands. "Oh, Evie, youre so thoughtful. Tell me, is the contract signed? Ive waited so long to officially call you my daughter."

Arthur Harrison walked in, scowling when he saw I was alone. "Wheres that boy of mine? He should be with you. Ill give him a piece of my mind when he gets back."

Their genuine love made my throat tight. After my parents died, the Harrisons were my world. They gave me a home, an education, and their name. I had always been the "perfect girl" for them.

But tonight, I was going to disappoint them.

"Diane, Arthur," I said, my voice trembling. "Im not marrying Nate."

The room went silent.

"Im leaving for the West Coast tomorrow. Im starting over. I won't be around to take care of you anymore, so please... take care of yourselves."

Diane grabbed my arm, her eyes wide with panic. "Evie, no. This is your home. Where will you go? Is this about that Blackwell girl? Did Nate say something?"

"Honey, he loves you," Arthur added, stepping forward. "Hes saved your life twice! He spends weeks picking out your birthday gifts. I know you love him, too. Youve learned his favorite recipes, you help him with his hand exercises... youre perfect together! Don't let that other girl win."

In my last life, Id listened to them. We all stayed, we all fought, and in the end, they lost a son and I lost a husband.

I wiped a tear from Dianes cheek. "You can't force a heart to beat for someone it doesn't want. Nate doesn't want me. And I can't keep pretending thats okay."

"I had a dream last night," I whispered, the pain nearly choking me. "I dreamt we got married. He spent every day working until he collapsed just so he wouldn't have to come home to me. He wouldn't eat the food I made. He told me I brought him nothing but pain. And then... then he died trying to save me from a fire I started by accident. He died at thirty, Diane. Because of me."

Diane looked stunned. "Evie... it was just a nightmare."

I forced a smile through the tears. "Dreams are warnings. Id rather he live a hundred years without me than die a hero at thirty in my arms."

I knelt down on the plush carpeta final gesture of respect to the people who raised me.

"My papers are processed. Im leaving. Thank you for everything."

Arthur sighed, his shoulders sagging, and helped me up. Diane began sobbing, pressing a stack of envelopes into my handtravelers checks and cash.

"If this is what you need, we won't stop you. But remember, Evie: this house is always your home."

I hugged her tight, sobbing into her shoulder. One more regret to go, Nate. Im almost done.

I had twelve hours left to fulfill the third regret: Saving Serena.

I went to the Observatory alone.

The deck was crowded with couples, all whispering promises under the glowing sky.

"Evelyn."

I spun around, my heart leaping, only to see Nate standing there, his face contorted with fury. He grabbed my wrist, his grip tight enough to bruise.

"You really couldn't help yourself, could you? I miss one dinner and you run to my parents to cry? They just called and tore Serena apart over the phone. Shes... she took a handful of pills, Evie. Shes in the ER. Are you happy now?"

My wrist felt like it was going to snap. I turned white, the air leaving my lungs.

In my last life, Serena had waited until a month after our wedding to attempt suicide. Nate hadn't been able to find a blood match for a rare complication she had, and hed watched her die. He blamed me for her death until the moment he breathed his last.

But this was happening now. Today. I hadn't even married him yet, and she was already slipping away.

I have to fix this. This is the third regret.

I looked at him, ignored the pain in my arm. "You need a donor, don't you? For the rare antibody treatment?"

Nate froze, stunned that I knew. His voice turned lethal. "Don't act like you care. You drove her to this. You owe her."

He dragged me to the private wing of the hospital.

Serena was pale, hooked up to machines. The specialist looked at the labs, then at me. He ran a quick prick on my finger.

"Its a match," the doctor said, surprised. "But the procedure... to get enough of the concentrated antibodies, we have to do a deep-marrow draw and a high-volume transfusion. Its incredibly taxing on the donor. Youll be weak for months. Theres a risk of cardiac stress."

"No," Nate snapped, his brow furrowed. "Shes too fragile. Is there any other way?"

The doctor shook his head. "Without this specific match, Miss Blackwell won't make it through the night."

Nate looked at Serena, then at me. I saw the raw terror in his eyesthe fear of losing his "Perfect Ghost."

"Ill do it," I said. "Start the prep."

"Evie, wait" Nate started, but I cut him off.

"Its okay. Ill be fine. Just save her."

Nate stared at me, his emotions a chaotic wreck. Finally, he took his silk handkerchief and tied it around my eyes, a strange, protective gesture.

"I owe you for this, Evie. Ill make it up to you. I promise."

He left the room, and the needles went in.

The pain was viscerala deep, hollowing ache that felt like my very soul was being siphoned out. As the world faded, I thought of our history.

I was eight when my parents died. The older kids at the prep school used to corner me, telling me I was an interloper, a charity case. Nate, only ten, had pushed them away and patted my head.

"Don't cry, Evie. Ill look out for you."

Hed kept that promise, even when he hated me. Hed kept it until he died in the fire.

I couldn't help but love him. But I knew that to save him, I had to disappear.

As I drifted into unconsciousness, I heard his voice from the future, echoing in the dark: "If I could just un-know you, Evie... how much better would our lives have been?"

I whispered into the empty air of the hospital room, "I'm fixing it, Nate. You won't have to know me anymore."

When I woke up, the sun was streaming through the hospital window. My chest felt like it had been crushed by a lead weight. I was alone in a small recovery room.

I checked the clock. It was almost noon. I had to leave.

Outside the door, I heard nurses whispering.

"Did you see the meteor shower last night? It was incredible."

"I heard if you saw it with your soulmate, youll be together forever."

I closed my eyes. I missed it again.

A moment later, the door pushed open. Nate walked in carrying a tray. On it was a bowl of the specific seafood chowder from the deli I used to love as a kid.

I stared at it, breathless. He remembered.

Nate sat by the bed, his voice softer than Id heard it in years. "How are you feeling? The doctor said you need to stay for a few days. Serena... shes stable. Because of you."

I nodded weakly. "Thats good."

He looked at my pale face, his jaw tight. "I was out of line yesterday. I shouldn't have blamed you. Serena told me... she told me my parents came to her on their own. Im sorry, Evie."

I didn't argue. I didn't tell him Id already broken the engagement. I just smiled. "Its okay. It doesn't matter now."

Nate tucked the blanket around my legs. "Once youre out of here, well take that trip to the coast you wanted. I know you love the ocean. We can do the honeymoon early."

I looked at him, my heart breaking for the last time. "No, Nate. You don't have to compensate me for this. I did it because I wanted to."

His eyes flickered with something like hurt. "Ive already arranged the car for Friday. Were going."

I didn't answer. I just watched his hands. They were shakingthe old injury from the kidnapping. Whenever he was stressed or the weather turned, his nerves misfired.

"Nate," I whispered. "Do you ever regret it? Saving me back then? Losing the piano?"

He looked at his hands, his expression neutral. "I don't regret it. Id do it for anyone."

For anyone. Not just for me.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Thank you. For everything. For being my hero over and over again."

"I was a lonely kid, Nate. I just wanted a family so badly that I tried to force you into being mine. Im sorry for the pressure I put on you."

He looked startled, like he wanted to say something, but a nurse knocked on the door. "Mr. Harrison? Miss Blackwell is awake. Shes asking for you."

Nates face lit up instantly. He stood up. "Ill be right back. Stay put, okay? We need to talk."

"Nate," I called out as he reached the door. I gave him the brightest, most genuine smile I had left. "I'm sorry. And... I hope you have a long, beautiful life. I hope you get everything you ever wanted."

He looked confused, an uneasy shadow crossing his face. "You're acting like this is a goodbye. Just eat your soup. I'll be back in ten minutes."

He left.

I waited until his footsteps faded, then I forced myself out of bed. Every movement was agony, but I dressed and slipped out the side exit.

I found the doctor on my way out. "Tell Mr. Harrison Ive gone to the coast. Tell him... tell him to live well."

When Nate finally returned to the room, it was empty. The soup was cold.

"Where is she?" he demanded of a passing orderly. "The girl in 402?"

The doctor walked up, handing him a note. "She left, Mr. Harrison. She said she was heading out west. She asked me to tell you: 'The debt is paid. Be happy.'"

Nate felt a chill go down his spine. "She can't be gone. She's too weak to drive!"

Just then, his head of security ran down the hall, face ashen. "Sir... theres been an accident on the interstate. A pile-up involving a bus and several cars. We think... we think Miss Crawfords Uber was in the zone."