My Eleventh Death Failed Successfully

When the tenth attempt failedwhen the System chimed in my head, coldly declaring that I had not only failed to redeem the heroine but had driven her to absolute loathingsomething inside me finally snapped. I didn't just break; I went full-blown manic.

We were at the engagement gala, a high-society merger between two dynasties. Noah, Margots foster brotherthe boy she protected with a ferocity that bordered on the divinehad just pulled his latest stunt. He claimed Id taken the sentimental heirloom hed bought for his "future brother-in-law" and tossed it into the deep end of the estates decorative koi pond.

Standing there, flanked by my parents' disappointed glares and Margots murderous, icy stare, I suddenly realized how exhausted I was. Living felt like a chore I no longer wanted to perform.

So, without a word, I turned and threw myself into the dark, frigid water of the pond. Splash. I let the weight of my tuxedo pull me straight to the bottom.

My parents went into a frantic tailspin. They had the security detail haul me out, my fathers face ashen, my mother looking like she was seconds away from a heart attack.

I stood there, dripping, shivering, as Noah huddled against Margots side, playing the wounded bird. Margot didnt even look at me with concern. She just rubbed Noahs back, her eyes boring into mine like twin daggers.

"Bennett, Im warning you," she hissed. "If you ever try a pathetic stunt like this to scare Noah again, the engagement is off. Youll never set foot in the Sinclair estate again."

I wiped the pond water from my eyes and started walkingnot toward the house, but toward the heavy traffic of the main road outside the gates.

"Message received, Margot," I called back over my shoulder. "Why go through the hassle of a breakup when a funeral is so much cleaner? Im going to go find a semi-truck to play chicken with."

Margots composure shattered. She looked at me like I was a lunatic before sprinting after me, grabbing my arm just as I reached the curb of the bustling highway. A freight truck roared past, the wind nearly knocking us over.

That night, in the hospital, Noah was at it again. He was standing on the edge of the second-floor terrace, sobbing for the benefit of the nurses. "Its all my fault. I shouldnt be here. Im just the foster brother. Ill leave Margot to Bennett... Ill just end it now!"

I watched him. He wasn't even close to the edge; his toes were firmly planted on the concrete. I sighed, walked up behind him, and shoved him aside.

"You're taking too long," I muttered. "Watch a pro do it."

Before anyone could scream, I vaulted over the railing and plummeted toward the pavement.

The whistling of the wind was the last thing I heard before the lights went out.

When I drifted back into consciousness, the first thing I heard was Noahs whimpering, high-pitched voice.

"Margot, I swear, I didn't say anything. Bennett just... he just jumped. I dont know what happened to him..."

I opened my eyes to see Margot standing over my bed, shielding Noah like a mother hen. My parents had arrived, looking haggard.

"Arthur, Diane," Margot said, her voice hard as flint, "this is clearly another one of Bennett's performances. Hes obsessed with the idea that I care more about Noah than him. Hes trying to frame a traumatized boy just to force me to send Noah away."

She turned her gaze toward me, her eyes flashing with a cruel kind of brilliance.

"If he actually wanted to die, why jump from the second floor? He knew there was a terrace below. He calculated the fall so hed survive. Hes manipulative, and hes dangerous."

She saw the flicker of doubt in my parents' eyes. Then, she noticed I was awake. She didn't offer a hand or a kind word. Instead, she grabbed my arm and dragged me off the bed toward the large hospital window.

"Look, Bennett," she snarled, pressing my face toward the glass. "Were on the thirtieth floor now. No terraces. Just a straight drop to the concrete. If youre so determined to end it, why aren't you jumping now?"

I was still groggy, every bone in my body feeling like it had been through a meat grinder. I was genuinely disappointed I was still breathing. But when I looked down at that dizzying, lethal height, a genuine smile spread across my face.

"Youre right," I whispered.

While Margot was mid-sentence, lecturing my parents on my "wicked intentions," I didn't hesitate. I unlatched the window and started climbing out.

The room went silent for exactly one second.

Then, chaos exploded. Screams, chairs flipping, hands grabbing at my waist. I fought them. I thrashed like a wild animal, desperate to hit the air. It took four of them to pin me back onto the bed and lock the window.

Margot stood there, chest heaving, trying to find her voice to scold me again. But before she could speak, my fathers hand cracked across her face. Snap.

"Enough! Margot, shut your damn mouth!"

My father locked the window and pointed a trembling finger at her. "Have you ever seen an 'actor' gamble with his life like that? This is your fianc! Look at what youve turned him into!"

My parents turned to me, their eyes red-rimmed. "Bennett..."

Before they could speak, Noah let out a choked sob, clutching his chest. "Its my fault. Bennett is like this because of me. Margot, maybe I should just move out. I shouldn't be between you two..."

The room shifted instantly. My parents' expressions turned awkward and complicated. Margot stepped in front of Noah, her protective instincts flaring like a raw nerve.

"Noah, stop it," she said, her voice a vow. "We might not share blood, but you are my brother. As long as Im alive, no one kicks you out."

If this were the first time Id heard that speech, my heart would have been in tatters. But I had lived this exact moment ten times before. I knew the script by heart. It didn't hurt anymore; it just made me want to vomit.

A wave of nausea hit me. I closed my eyes, memories of the "Before" flooding back.

I was a loser in my past life. Id lost my job and been diagnosed with a terminal illness in the same week. So, when the "System" told me I could have a billion dollars and a healthy body if I could just win over this cold-hearted heiress, I didn't think twice.

But the System was a glitchy piece of shit. It kept dropping me into "Hard Mode" scripts where I was the punching bag for her foster brother. I had developed literal PTSD from being a "Tragic Fianc."

I had been ready to take my "consolation prize" from ten failed lives and just retire into oblivion, but then the eleventh reboot started.

Host, are you really giving up? the Systems voice echoed in my mind. I swear, her emotional metrics are shifting this time...

If you want out, it continued, the rules haven't changed. You just have to die permanently in this world.

I was busy haggling with the voice in my head when Margots sharp tone snapped me back to reality.

"Bennett! Look at what you've done!"

I looked up. Her face was a mask of fury.

She pointed at Noah, who was slumped against the wall, looking pale.

"Because of your little stunt, Noahs heart condition flared up. The doctor says he needs an emergency transfusion."

I leaned back against the pillows. "If hes sick, treat him. If hes dying, let him. Why are you bothering me?"

"If he doesn't know how to die properly," I added, "I can give him some pointers."

Margots face went white. My parents had stepped out to find a specialist, and the moment they were gone, she slapped me. Hard.

"You caused this! Hes a universal donor, but his specific subtype is rareand you're the only match in the building! You're giving him the blood, Bennett. You don't get a choice."

Noah began to weep. "Forget it, Margot. Bennett hates me. He won't save me. Just let me fade away. Im just an orphan anyway..."

Margots rage boiled over. She grabbed me by the collar, shaking me. "Bennett, if you want any hope of this marriage happening, you will give him that blood!"

My vision swam. She slammed me back onto the mattress. "Don't make me use force. Sign the consent form and"

Before she could finish, I snatched the pen and scribbled my name. I tossed the pen aside without looking up. "Take it."

Margot blinked. "What?"

"I said, take the blood. Take it all. Drain me dry for all I care. Im done with this anyway."

Noah shot a quick glance at Margot. Her expression darkened.

"Bennett, quit the dramatics. It's just a pint of blood. Do you have to act like a martyr just to make us feel guilty?"

"Fine," she sighed, her tone shifting to that bizarrely clinical, "negotiator" voice she used. "What do you want? Name your price for the blood. Money? A new car? Just tell me what it takes for you to do this willingly."

My head throbbed. This woman was a sociopath. Nothing was ever enough. I couldn't stand the sound of her voice for one more second.

I bolted upright and screamed at her, "I said I'll give it to him! Ill give him my blood, my heart, my damn soul if itll make you shut up!"

Before she could react, I grabbed a paring knife from the fruit basket on the bedside table and drove it toward my wrist.

The pain didn't come. Margots reflexes were terrifying; she caught the blade with her bare hand.

Blood seeped through her fingers. Noah screamed and ran out to call a nurse. Margot pinned my arms down, her face livid, her voice trembling with something that almost sounded like fear.

"Bennett! Are you insane?! Is this the only trick you have left? To hurt yourself for attention?"

"You used to just be jealous," she spat, "but this? This is pathetic."

I thrashed under her grip. "Let go! What I do with my life is none of your business!"

"I'm your fiance!"

I kicked, I bit her hand, I fought like a feral cat. My mouth tasted like iron from her blood. Finally, I went limp. I looked at her and gave her a soft, terrifyingly sweet smile.

"Fine, Margot. You win. I was just acting. I just wanted to be the center of the universe. I wanted to steal you away from Noah."

"You're so smart," I whispered. "You saw right through me. The play is over. Im not going to die today. Can you let go now?"

She searched my eyes. I made sure they looked as sincere as a saints.

Eventually, she exhaled, releasing her grip. "Bennett, I don't like forcing people. But Noah is my brother. Saving him is the right thing to do. You were being a child."

"I promise," she added, "if you give the blood, the Sinclair family will still honor the engagement..."

Before the sentence left her lips, I grabbed the knife and drove it into my throat.

The world went silent.

My parents walked in with a bag of takeoutwarm porridge for their recovering son. My blood sprayed across their faces before they could even say hello.

The bag hit the floor.

A scream ripped through the room: "Doctor! Get a doctor!"

I had a long, vivid dream.

In the dream, I was still that wide-eyed idiot who first bonded with the System. I believed that if I were just kind enough, or patient enough, I could earn Margots love.

Every time Noah framed me, I would scramble to explain, sweating and stuttering, dragging my dignity through the mud just for a chance at being believed. I tried everything: hunger strikes, ten-page letters of apology, standing in the rain outside her office. I was the textbook definition of a "simp."

By the ninth failed attempt, Margot had thrown the annulment papers at my face. She told me I was "too dark and twisted to be loved" and told me to vanish.

So I did. I walked into traffic and was crushed into nothingness. My last memory was the sound of my own bones snapping and the screams of onlookers.

Then I woke up for round ten, my brain already fractured from the trauma. I tried to endure it, but when Margot stood me up at our engagement party to take Noah to the movies, I finally understood.

To hell with love. To hell with the mission.

I had more affection for a plate of cold lasagna than I did for Margot Sinclair.

I was woken up by her voice. It was coming from outside the hospital door, thick with that nauseating self-righteousness.

"Arthur, Diane, I know it looks bad. But Noahs heart attack was triggered by the shock Bennett gave him!"

"Think about how Bennett has treated him in the past!" Her voice dropped an octave, sounding conspiratorial. "Weren't you the ones who let me hire those nine girls to 'seduce' him? You wanted to see if his ambition was too high, to break his spirit so hed be a submissive husband for the Sinclair family."

"You really think a suicide attempt means hes changed? I don't buy it. Hes been spending too much time on the streets. Hes learned how to act. This is Oscar-level stuff..."

"Enough!" my father barked, though I could hear the guilt beneath his anger.

Silence followed. A dead, heavy silence.

I sat up in bed, picking at the stitches on my neck. My ears were ringing. They hired nine girls to ruin me.

The System erupted in my head like a boiling kettle. Holy shit! I knew something was wrong! No wonder every 'love interest' I gave you turned out to be a gold-digging snake! It wasn't a bug in the codeit was these people! They were trying to gaslight you into a puppet!

Host, how can you stand this? Good thing youve got that billion-dollar exit fund ready in another world. We can leave this trash heap whenever you want.

I didn't wait for it to finish. I ripped the IV out of my arm and swung my legs over the bed.

Wait, Host, why do you look like a vengeful spirit? What are you looking for?

My voice was a raspy ghost of itself. "A knife."

I didn't find a knife.

My parents and Margot caught me and dragged me back to my familys estate like a prisoner under guard.

The moment I got home, I tore the house apart. But they had been thorough. Not a single sharp edge remainednot even a nail clipper.

I tried the windows, but they had installed security bars that would have made a prison warden jealous. The stairs were covered in triple-thick carpeting. The table corners were padded. Even the chopsticks were rounded plastic.

A parade of psychiatrists shuffled through my room, looking at me like I was a broken engine. They prescribed enough sedatives to kill a horse.

My mother spent every day crying into a bowl of soup, trying to force-feed me while telling me it was "for my own good." My father, in a desperate attempt to cheer me up, hung photos of Margot and me from our childhood all over the living room.

"Pathetic," Margot sneered one afternoon as she walked past the gallery of photos.

"Is this the new plan? Looking like a ghost to guilt my parents into sending Noah away?"

She leaned in, her voice cold. "I told you, Bennett. As long as Im breathing, you won't touch a hair on his head."

She turned and swept out of the room. I looked at the photo of ten-year-old mea boy who looked like a happy idiotand felt nothing.

Days passed. I was trapped. But the tiny sliver of familial love I had left had been incinerated the moment I learned my parents had helped destroy my life nine times over.

I didn't just want to die anymore. I wanted to take the whole world down with me.

The opportunity came at Noahs birthday party, hosted at our estate to "show a united front."

The moment I appeared, Noah grabbed my arm. "Bennett, Im so glad you came. I know you're mad, but I really want to be friends."

I let him lead me away from the crowd like a hollow shell. When we reached the deep end of the swimming pool in the back garden, his smile vanished.

He leaned into my ear, his voice a venomous hiss. "Don't think playing the victim will win her back. You want to die so bad, right?"

"I had the cameras turned off yesterday," he whispered, a cruel smirk playing on his lips. "When they find you at the bottom, they'll just say you finally succeeded in your little madness. Do us all a favor."

He shoved me. Hard.

Splash. The icy water swallowed me whole.

This time, I didn't fight. I didn't even hold my breath. I let the water pour into my lungs like liquid concrete. The suffocating pressure was almost blissful.

The System's countdown started in my heada heavenly sound.

Five... four... three...

Just as the darkness was closing in, a hand grabbed my hair and yanked me violently back to the surface.

Margots voice exploded in my ear, hysterical with rage. "Noah says you stole his engagement ring! You tried to humiliate him in front of everyone!"

She threw me onto the tiles. I lay there, shivering, my lungs burning, unable to even cough. She let go for a second, startled by how weak I looked, but then she remembered Noahs face.

"Bennett! Give it back! Stop pretending to be dead!"

"You really threw yourself in the pool over a ring? How childish can you get?"

I didn't move. My heart was a faint, stuttering rhythm.

"Are you addicted to this drama?!" she screamed, grabbing my limp, cold wrist to drag me upright.

She froze. Her face went as white as a sheet.

At that exact moment, my parents and a group of guests burst into the garden. They were staring at their phonesspecifically, at the live feed from the micro-camera hidden in my lapel pin.

Margot looked back at the crowd, then down at mea broken, blue-lipped doll. She stumbled back, her knees giving out, and collapsed onto the wet concrete.