The Lie She Called Love

I was Moms most cherished Maple Syrup Baby, born unable to touch sugar. A severe case of Maple Syrup Urine Disease meant that even a hint of sweetness could cause full-body swelling and suffocation. To balance my delicate psyche, Mom forced my twin brother and me to drink bitter medicine and eat special meals together. When we were seven, my brother, desperate for a taste, secretly licked a discarded candy wrapper he found on the ground. Mom discovered him, rushed over like a madwoman, and forcefully clamped his throat, making him vomit:

You worthless brat! Are you that greedy?!

Your sister fights for her life every day, and you only care about your own pleasure?!

Im telling you, you deserve to suffer with your sister your whole life! As long as shes alive, you wont touch sugar for a single day!

Under my brothers hateful gaze, I was consumed by shame. So, on the eve of our eighteenth birthday, I decided to use my death to grant him his freedom. I slipped into the kitchen and secretly ate an entire chocolate cake. Yet, after a night passed, the expected swelling and suffocation never came. Looking at my rosy, healthy face in the mirror, a chill ran through me:

If I was fine, then who was the Maple Syrup Baby that Mom fought so hard to protect?

Last night, I stared at that fragrant chocolate cake, feeling nothing but immense relief. I clasped my hands together, silently wishing into the air:

Next life, I still want to be Moms daughter, Ashers sister.

But please, God, dont let me be a Maple Syrup Baby again.

I want to be a healthy child, to eat sweets without a care, to run freely in the sun

I opened my eyes, trembling as I dug a large spoonful of cake into my mouth.

So sweet.

I swallowed in big gulps, tears mixing with cream as they flowed into my mouth. Then I quietly lay back on the bed, waiting for deaths pronouncement.

One minute, two minutes, an hour

There was no expected difficulty breathing, no full-body swelling, not even a hint of dizziness or nausea! I looked at my rosy-cheeked reflection in the mirror.

What was going on?

Id eaten an entire chocolate cake, enough sugar to kill me ten times over! Why was I completely unharmed?

Was Mom just too anxious before, and my illness wasnt actually that serious? Or was this the so-called flash before death?

I suppressed the surging questions and fear in my heart and walked out of the bedroom.

At the dining table, Mom was carrying two bowls of grayish-brown paste, placing them in front of my brother and me, constantly emitting a foul odor. It was my special nutritional powder; for eighteen years, I had sustained my life with this stuff.

Im not eating it!

My brother, Asher, seemed to reach his breaking point. He violently waved his hand, knocking the scalding paste directly onto the floor. He pointed at the puddle and roared:

Are you crazy? I have hands, feet, and a healthy body, why do you insist on forcing me and that invalid to eat the same pig slop?

Is this stuff even fit for humans? Not even a dog would sniff it!

Moms eyes instantly reddened, tears welling up immediately. Asher! How can you say that? Do you have no conscience?

Do you think Mom wants you to suffer? Look at your sister, Willow! Shell only ever be able to eat this kind of thing her whole life, shes never even tasted a bite of meat or a single piece of candy! How do you think she feels seeing you eat lavish meals?

Mom pointed at me, her voice choked. If your sister sees you eating good food, shell get jealous, and her condition will worsen! Once it flares up, its tens of thousands in medical bills! The whole family suffering with your sister, thats how we do things in this house!

Asher turned to look at me, his eyes devoid of any sympathy, only a thick, suffocating hatred. Seeing that brute force wasnt working, Mom immediately changed her approach. Son, listen. As long as you drink this bowl, and dont make your sister feel unfairly treated, Mom will transfer money to you right away. That game skin you wanted, Ill buy it for you, alright?

Ashers face softened slightly. He snorted, then reluctantly picked up the bowl.

Having dealt with Asher, Mom came over to me, gently stroking my hair, her eyes full of self-congratulation. Willow, see? This naughty boy doesnt understand, but Mom has to make him realize that in this family, your feelings come first! As she spoke, she brought over the bowl of strange-smelling nutritional powder, half-forcing, half-persuading me to take a sip.

Mom buying him that skin, its just a necessary evil, to shut him up so he doesnt make a fuss and upset you. In Moms heart, youre still the most precious.

Come on, good girl, drink it quickly. Mom specially prepared this for you, dont let Moms hard work go to waste.

I looked at Moms eyes, filled with doting affection, and then at Asher, who, despite drinking the paste, had a smug smirk on his face. In the past, I would have been moved to tears, feeling like the happiest and most indebted daughter in the world. To repay Moms favoritism, I would have tried my hardest to be good to Asher, enduring all his bullying.

But now, the lingering sweetness of chocolate in my throat felt like a thorn in my heart. If I wasnt sick, if eating sugar wouldnt kill me then why was Mom forcing a healthy Asher to eat this pig slop with me? She said she loved me the most, but why did it feel like she was deliberately steering Ashers hatred towards me?

Willow? What are you staring at? Drink up. After this, were going to the mall to do some New Years shopping. Moms words brought me back to reality. I lowered my head and, suppressing my nausea, drank it all in one gulp.

At the mall, Mom carried large shopping bags, all for Asher. A designer down jacket costing over three hundred dollars, the latest Apple phone, even limited-edition sneakers. Asher preened in front of the mirror in his new clothes, and Mom stood by, smiling lovingly.

Asher is going to do great things in the future. Since hes healthy, he needs to see more of the world, dress well, so he can support your sister later.

When she turned to me, the smile on Moms face subtly faded. She casually pulled an old-fashioned, even slightly threadbare, discounted red cotton jacket from a promotional rack and shoved it into my arms. Before I could speak, Mom pressed my hand with a pained expression. Willow, dont mind the old style of this jacket, its pure natural cotton, very breathable. Those fancy down jackets might look good, but theyre all synthetic and duck down, full of allergens. Your body is delicate, what if you get sick wearing them? Listen to Mom, well take this one.

I looked at my ridiculous, ugly reflection in the mirror, then at my dazzling brother next to me, and, suppressing a pang of sadness, nodded. Thank you, Mom.

In the past, I would have been touched by Moms thoughtfulness. But now, I only felt that red cotton jacket was an unshakeable layer of humiliation.

While shopping for New Years groceries, the candy aisle in the supermarket was piled high with colorful mountains of sweets. Ashers eyes instantly lit up. While Mom was choosing melon seeds, he grabbed a handful of crisp candies and shoved them into his pocket.

But I saw it, and Mom saw it too.

Smack!

Asher stumbled back from Moms blow, covering his face as he looked up in disbelief.

Take out the candy!

Mom shrieked hysterically. Who told you to take candy? If you bring these home, will your sister see them and crave them? With her condition, craving can be deadly!

How can you be so selfish! You have no sympathy! The whole family is sacrificing for your sister, and here you are, secretly hiding candy to eat! Do you have any conscience?!

The elderly shoppers around us began to whisper. This mother has it so hard.

Yes, and this younger brother is so thoughtless, he doesnt consider his family at all.

What selfless parental love, really. To accommodate her daughters feelings, even her healthy child has to give up sugar. This mother is truly great.

Listening to the praise from those around her, Moms anger transformed into a tragic, saintly glow. She wiped away tears, basking in everyones sympathy. Meanwhile, Asher stood in the center of the crowd, his face flushed crimson with shame and fury. He stared intently at me, his eyes wishing they could tear me apart on the spot.

Back home, as soon as Mom went into the kitchen to cook, Asher grabbed my hair and roughly dragged me to the balcony. It was the dead of winter, there was no heating on the balcony, and the wind seeping through the glass panes cut at my face like knives. Asher stood in the warm living room, separated by the glass door, his expression distorted.

Mom says your body is delicate and cant have sugar? Fine, then you shouldnt use the heater either! The heater is for living people!

If you freeze to death, the family wont have to buy medicine for you anymore. The money saved will be enough for me to eat candy for a lifetime!

I huddled into a ball in the cold wind. That so-called old cotton jacket offered no warmth, and the biting wind instantly pierced through my bones. Inside the living room, the television played festive New Years programs, and the aroma of food wafted faintly, while I, like an abandoned dog, gradually lost feeling in my hands and feet, and my consciousness began to blur.

It wasn't until Mom came out with the dishes, saw me on the balcony, and cried out in alarm, opening the door and dragging me inside. I thought Mom would punish Asher. But she didn't. She just called Asher, who was filled with malice, and me, who was shivering from the cold, together. She took out a thick ledger from a drawer, filled with densely packed numbers.

Look! All of you, look! This is how much money weve spent in the past eighteen years to treat Willows illness!

Imported medicine, special nutritional powder, regular check-ups which one isnt an astronomical figure? For this money, Mom has scrimped and saved, not even daring to buy a decent piece of clothing for herself!

Mom pointed at the numbers, her eyes red as she spoke to Asher. Son, dont blame Mom for being strict with you. Our family is poor because of your sisters illness. Mom doesnt let you eat sugar because shes afraid of triggering her, afraid shell get sick and well have to spend money again! Our family really cant afford it anymore!

If you want to hate, then hate this damned fate! Dont ever hate your sister, she doesnt want to be a burden on us either!

Mom hugged Asher, weeping inconsolably, as if she were the most helpless, long-suffering mother in the world. I was wrapped in a blanket, my teeth still chattering, but my heart had completely turned cold. Sure enough, Asher picked up the ledger and looked at me, his eyes completely devoid of understanding, only a deeper, heavier hatred. It was a hatred that wished to get rid of me immediately, that wished I would drop dead so he and this family could finally be free!