When He Chose Her In Flames

After the miscarriage, I systematically erased every habit that Giles used to find irritating.

I stopped asking where he was going. When he stayed out all night, I no longer paced the floor; I simply turned off the bedside lamp and fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

Even when I was injured during a training maneuver and the medic told me to call my family, I just looked at the sterile white ceiling and said, "I dont have any next of kin."

The nurse recognized me. "Youre Mrs. Marshall, aren't you? General Marshall is just in the next sector over. Should I send word to him?"

I shook my head slowly. "No. There's no need."

But thirty minutes later, Giles Marshall appeared anyway.

He stood in the doorway, his uniform sharp, his presence commanding and cold. "Youre hurt. Why wasn't I the first person you called?"

I kept my eyes down. "Its a scratch, Giles. Not worth bothering the Commanding General over."

That dismissive tonethe sheer lack of weight in my voicemade him visibly bristle.

Before he could snap back, voices drifted in from the hallway. Two guards were gossiping, unaware of who was listening. "The General really has a soft spot for that girl, Maya, from the USO troupe. She twisted her ankle during the performance, and he practically commandeered a Black Hawk just to get her back. Carried her onto the bird himself. Didn't let her feet touch the tarmac once."

I saw Giless chest tighten. His eyes flickered toward me, searching for the explosion, the accusations, the familiar fire of my jealousy.

But my lashes didn't even quiver. I just leaned back against the thin hospital mattress and closed my eyes, letting the silence settle between us.

It wasn't until we were in his military Jeep that he finally spoke, his voice a low growl of defense. "Don't listen to the gossip. It was professional. Maya was invited here to perform for the troops. She got hurt on my watch; it was my responsibility to handle it."

"Okay," I said softly. I didn't add anything else.

Giless temper flared suddenly. "You don't believe me? Is this still about that? God, Cassie... Ive come back to you. Im here. What more do you want?"

I stared out the window at the passing barracks, my profile a blank slate.

"I believe you," I said. "I just didn't think I was an emergency. I didn't want to interrupt your work. Let's just go back to the quarters."

The same scripted response. Autopilot.

Giles slammed his fist against the steering wheel.

The horn blared, a sharp, ugly sound that cut through the winter air, startling a group of performers who were just finishing their set across the road.

One girl looked up.

As the moonlight hit her face, the air inside the Jeep turned to ice.

"Maya... what is she still doing out here?" Giles muttered.

He glanced at me instinctively. In the past, every time I saw her, Id lose my mind. Id scream, Id cry, Id demand to know why she was wearing a coat that looked like mine.

But now, I just gave her a fleeting glance and looked away. Nothing.

Giles gripped the wheel, but his eyes were glued to the rearview mirror. It was a brutal December night. The girl was shivering in a thin stage costume, her arms wrapped tight around herself, her nose red from the cold.

His hand was already on the door handle. The concern was practically leaking out of him.

I understood the script perfectly. I opened my door and stepped out, giving him the exit he was dying for. "If you need to do a final sweep of the camp, I can walk back. It's not far."

I didn't wait for an answer. I turned toward the intersection.

Giles jumped out and caught my wrist. "Its over between us, Cassie. I didn't know she was here. Why won't you trust me?"

I nodded. "I do trust you, Giles. Shes a young girl in a tough spot. Even if its over, its normal to care. I get it."

He stared at my face. There was no bitterness there. No hidden edge.

That was what terrified him.

I used to have an insatiable hunger for his attention. If I found a single long hair on his uniform, Id interrogate him until dawn. Now, I was exactly what hed always begged me to be: reasonable, quiet, undemanding.

But it felt like he was breathing through wet cotton.

I pulled my hand back and walked away.

At the corner, I stopped and looked back.

Beside the Jeep, Giles had already draped his heavy coat over Mayas shoulders. He was cupping her face in his hands, leaning down to kiss her with a desperation that looked like pain.

I wasn't surprised. I should have seen it coming.

I certainly wasn't going to be the woman I was the first time I caught himthe "crazy wife" screaming, "Giles! Have you no shame? Ive been with you since I was eighteen! We had nothing, and now you tell me you love someone else?"

Back then, he had looked at the blood on his lip where Id struck him and sneered, "Shame? You want to talk about shame? You were sleeping with me at eighteen. Your own parents didn't even want you. Im the one who took you out of that state home. Ive raised you for a decade. You should be thanking me."

That sentence had been a poisoned blade, shredding twelve years of shared struggles, of shivering together in foxholes and building a life from dust.

My phone vibrated, pulling me out of the graveyard of my memories.

"Colonel Miller, the personal effects and pension documents for your biological parents have been verified. When can you come to the West Coast Command to finalize the claim?"

I pulled my sleeve down to cover the faint white scar on my wrist. "Ten days. My divorce papers finish processing in ten days."

The voice on the line hesitated. "You and General Marshall... its been a long time. You can inherit the estate and the honors without transferring units."

I watched the lights of the base fade in the distance. "I dont love him anymore," I said. "I just want to go home to a place Ive never been."

Back at the officer's quarters, the first thing I saw was our wedding photo on the wall. We looked so young. Giles was laughing, his nose pressed affectionately against my temple.

We grew up together in the state foster system.

When I was eighteen, the director tried to marry me off to a bitter, middle-aged sergeant just to get me off the books.

Giles was the one who grabbed my hand and helped me scale the back wall.

The director had screamed after us, "Giles Marshall! You think you can protect her forever?"

He had looked back, his eyes blazing with a reckless, beautiful light. "Watch me!"

He used his enlistment bonus to rent the cheapest basement apartment in the city. "Once Im through basic training and get my stripes, you can come with me as a registered dependent," he promised. "No one will ever take you away again."

For the first three years, he crawled through the mud in Ranger school. Before every jump, every dangerous op, hed tuck my photo into his breast pocket, right over his heart.

I worked a desk job in logistics, saving every penny. During the leanest winters, wed share a single bowl of instant noodles on New Years Eve and feel like royalty.

Then he made Special Forces. I moved into Intelligence. We traded the basement for a dorm, the dorm for a house, and finally, for this villa.

The stars on Giless shoulders got brighter, and the "colleagues" around him started looking different.

Until the day I found a smudge of lipstick on the inside of his collar.

"A girl tripped backstage at the gala, I helped her up, it was an accident!" hed snapped, ripping his tie off. "Cassie, youre a soldier too. Stop acting like a paranoid housewife."

"Do soldiers not betray people, Giles? We said forever. Not 'forever until it gets boring.'"

The screaming matches became our new language. I tracked his missions, his call logs, even snuck to the edge of the training grounds when he claimed he was pulling an all-nighter.

Giles, out of spite, leaned into it. He cycled through women, sometimes coming home with scratches on his back just to see me break.

"Satisfied?" hed sneer. "You wanted to find something. Now you have."

I felt like a ghost, knowing I should leave but unable to find the door. Twelve years meant we were grafted together. Tearing apart meant losing skin.

But a year ago, he "changed." He cleared out the flings. He kept only one.

When I saw Mayas photo, I collapsed.

That face. She looked exactly like I did at eighteeninnocent, wide-eyed, untouched by the world. Giles would rather love a ghost of me than the woman I had become to survive him.

That night, I sat in a bathtub and opened my veins.

Giles broke the door down, his hands shaking so hard he could barely apply the tourniquets. He carried me into the ER, his eyes bloodshot and terrifying. "Cassie! Are you insane? Well fix it! I promise, just you and me, no one else, ever again!"

I lay in that hospital bed feeling nothing but a profound, hollow exhaustion.

That was the day the JAG officer found me. He handed me a yellowed file. "Colonel Miller, the department re-investigated the casualty lists from the '94 border conflict... These two officers? They were your biological parents."

I held the file, my fingers icy.

After I hung up, I walked to the window of my private room.

In the garden below, Giles was holding Maya.

"Im sorry, Maya. Shes unstable. Post-traumatic stress... I can't leave her like this. Not now. But trust me, once shes settled, Ill make it right for us."

They kissed like star-crossed lovers.

In that moment, the graft finally failed. The skin tore away. The hole in my chest was so large I couldn't even make a sound.

On my seventh day in the hospital, I realized the truth. I had to kill the woman who loved Giles Marshall to let the daughter of heroes live.

For a week, Giles didn't come home.

I didn't ask. I filed the divorce papers and the transfer request through official channels and started packing.

I decided to return the keys to our first apartmentthe small "temporary" housing wed kept for years as a storage unitto the base housing office.

When I arrived at the unit with the housing clerk, the door was slightly ajar.

I heard a womans soft laugh and a mans rhythmic, heavy breathing.

Through the crack in the door, I saw a discarded USO uniform on the floor. Giles had Maya pinned against the wall, his tactical pants around his knees. He was wearing his wedding ring.

I squeezed my eyes shut, took a slow breath, and pulled the door closed.

I turned to the clerk. "Im sorry. Today isn't a good day for the inspection. Let's do it another time."

The clerk was a young officer. Shed heard the noises. She looked at me with a mix of pity and horror. "Colonel Miller... do you want me to report this?"

I shook my head. "No. Its a private matter. Lets not bother the command."

What was the point of bursting in? To scream like a banshee? To beg him to remember our years in the trenches?

A man whose heart has moved on is just an empty shell. You don't fight over a shell.

I hurried down the stairs, but Giles came charging out after me, his shirt untucked, his breath ragged.

"Cassie? What are you doing here? What did you... what did you hear?"

I pulled my wrist away, my face a mask of calm. "I was dropping off the keys. The door was closed, so I left."

He let out a visible breath of relief, thinking I was just being sentimental about our old place. "I was on maneuvers all week, just got back. Maya needed a place to rehearse, so I let her use the key... Don't overthink it."

I didn't bother pointing out the lie. I turned to leave.

Suddenly, the sound of glass shattering erupted from inside the apartment, followed by the roar of a flash-fire!

Giless face transformed. He grabbed my jaw, his eyes burning with a terrifying rage. "Did you do this? Cassie, I thought you were finally being rational, but this? This petty, dangerous bullshit?"

"If Maya is hurt in there, I will personally see you court-martialed!"

He shoved me aside and ran into the smoke.

I started to walk away, but then I rememberedmy parents' original documents and the divorce filing were locked in the old safe in that bedroom.

I grabbed a fire extinguisher from the hallway, smashed the window, and dived into the heat.

The room was thick with black smoke. Giles was already carrying Maya out. When he saw me, his eyes went cold. "What are you doing? Get out!"

I ignored him and ran for the bedroom. The curtains were melting. The safe was right next to the burning closet.

"Cassie! You're going to die for a safe? Get out!" Giles roared from the doorway.

I knelt by the safe, spinning the dial. As the door clicked open, the overhead light fixture, heavy and wreathed in flames, buckled.

Giles instinctively shielded Maya and jumped back toward the exit.

The blast of heat threw me backward. Glass shards sliced into my arms, blood soaking through my shirt instantly. I clawed the envelope out of the safe and tucked it against my chest.

The smoke filled my lungs. The world blurred.

The last thing I heard was the sound of Giless boots running away from me, and the distant, lonely wail of a siren.

When I woke up, I was back in the military hospital.

Giles was sitting by the bed, holding the scorched envelope. Inside were two red booklets.

"Marriage licenses? You almost died for our marriage licenses?" His voice was tight. "Cassie, you have a hairline fracture in your leg, smoke inhalation, and second-degree burns. You almost didn't make it."

I reached out and took the envelope back.

There were no marriage licenses in there. Just the documents I needed to leave him and the proof of who I actually was.

Giles watched me clutch the envelope, his brow furrowed. "We all could have gotten out fine, but you had to make it a choice. You had to make me choose between you two just to see who was more important, didn't you?"

"Arson is a serious crime, Cassie. I saved Maya first because she had no gear, no training. Youre a soldier."

I stared at the white ceiling. "Okay," I whispered.

"Cassie." His voice softened. "I told you, Im committed to us. Maya... her family is in trouble. I was just helping her as a commanding officer. The apartment was temporary."

He helped her right into our bed. He talked about "family" while his body was still buzzing from someone younger.

I finally looked at him. My eyes were like stagnant water.

"I know. I understand."

The calm seemed to drive him crazy. He stood up abruptly, then caught sight of the massive bandage on my arm. "One scar wasn't enough? You need more to keep me tethered to you?"

"No more," I said. "Im done being stupid."

His comms unit buzzed. He stepped to the window to answer.

I couldn't hear the words, only the high, sobbing pitch of Mayas voice. Giles whispered a few reassurances, then turned back to me. "There's an emergency with the debrief. I have to go to HQ. Rest up."

He left without looking back.

I stayed in the hospital for a few more days. Giles sent flowers and supplements, and he called every day. I had the nurses answer. "Shes stable. No visitors."

On the day of my discharge, I was limping toward the billing desk on crutches when an older woman shoved past me.

"My son-in-law is a General here. Move aside."

I frowned. "Wait your turn, ma'am."

She sneered at me. "Do you know who you're talking to? My son-in-law is Giles Marshall. If I don't get my heart medication on time, hell have your badge."

Before I could respond, Giles and Maya appeared at the end of the hall.

He pulled me aside, his voice a frantic whisper. "Mayas mother has a weak heart. She can't handle stress. You're a soldier, Cassie. Set an example. Let the civilian go first."

Maya held her mothers arm, her eyes welling up. "Cassie, Im so sorry... my moms heart is acting up. I told her Giles was my fianc so shed agree to take the expensive meds... please don't be mad at him. Hes just a good man who can't stand to see an old woman suffer."

I looked at the three of them.

So, because Mayas mother had a cough, he left his wifethe woman with a broken leg and charred skinalone in a hospital bed?

Fine. It didn't matter anymore.

I nodded and turned to leave.

Id only taken two steps when I heard Mayas shaky whisper: "Giles, is she mad? Is she going to do what she did last time? Im so scared for your career..."

Giless voice was soft, but it carried perfectly through the sterile air.

"Don't worry about her. She grew up without parents. she doesn't understand what family means. She doesn't have the capacity for that kind of empathy."

My fingers tightened on the crutches until my knuckles went white. I walked, one agonizing step at a time, down the long corridor.

Giless boots echoed behind me. "Cassie, wait. Ill give you a ride back to the quarters."

I didn't stop. I tried to go faster.

The tip of my crutch hit a wet patch on the linoleum. I went down hard. My burned arm hit the floor, and I felt the wound tear open.

The pain was so sharp it broke something deep inside my chest.

I grit my teeth, my nails digging into my palms, but the tears leaked out anyway.

All my life, I had hated the holidays. Id watch the warm lights in peoples windows, listen to the laughter, and feel a dull ache like a knife in my ribs. Giles knew that. He was the only person in the world who knew how much that scar hurt.

And he had just used it to comfort his mistress.

He ran over to pick me up, his voice laced with annoyance. "Cassie! Why do you have to be so stubborn?"

Suddenly, a heavy thermos flew through the air and struck me in the face.

Hot soup scalded my skin. My forehead began to swell instantly.

Mayas mother stood there, shaking with rage. "You hussy! Trying to steal my son-in-law? Ill show you!"

She lunged forward and slapped me.

I fell back again, my head spinning. Then, she swung her own cane and caught me square in the shoulder. I heard a dull thud against my bone.

Giles finally stepped in, catching the womans cane. "Ma'am! Please! Calm down! It's not what you think!"

"Then what is it?" she shrieked. "This tramp was throwing herself into your arms! I have eyes!"

I forced myself up. "Control your daughter! Ask her who the tramp is!"

Giles whipped around, his voice a desperate, low hiss: "She has severe coronary disease, Cassie! She can't take the shock! Im begging you, don't make a scene now!"

He turned back to the mother, his voice soothing. "Youve misunderstood. This is Colonel Miller. Shes a fellow officer. Shes had some... mental instability since the war. She gets confused..."

He actually pulled my medical file out of his pocket to show her.

The old woman spat on the floor. "A crazy soldier? No wonder her parents died early. No one was around to teach her any manners."

Giles practically carried her away. He never once looked back at me.

I sat on the floor and watched them go. I couldn't even cry anymore.

A kind nurse helped me back into a treatment room and re-dressed my wounds. "Colonel," she whispered, "do you want me to call security?"

I shook my head. "No. Just process my discharge."

I went back to the quarters and finished packing my single duffel bag. My phone buzzed.

Maya had posted an update. A photo of her wearing Giless uniform jacket, leaning against his chest. The caption: Through the smoke and the fire, I found you. Worth every bit of pain.

I scrolled past it and hit "Unfollow."

Downstairs, the transport Id ordered was waiting.

I climbed into the back. "To the military airfield," I said.

As we pulled out of the gates, a black SUV passed us in the opposite direction. Giles was in the back, talking animatedly to someone. Maya was leaning on his shoulder, laughing.

We drove in opposite directions, faster and faster.

In the rearview mirror, the base shrunk into a tiny dot and then vanished.

I thought about being eighteen and climbing that wall. Twenty and standing at his commissioning ceremony. Twenty-two and exchanging rings in the chapel. Twenty-eight and watching the women cycle through his life.

The images flashed by, then fell away.

It was over.

Now, I was going to finish the flight my parents never got to. I was going to the sky they died protecting.