The Agony of Unspoken Goodbyes

On the day of my husbands funeral, I overheard his best friend on the phone.

Dude, this playing dead thing is next level. Your wife is literally burying you at the cemetery, and youre at a gaming hotel pulling an all-nighter with some chick.

Save me a spot. Im on my way.

I froze, my blood turning to ice. On autopilot, I followed him to the gaming hotel.

There, I saw him. Preston Prescott, the man whose word was law in our family, now fawning over some rebellious-looking girl with neon-streaked hair. He leaned in close, feeding her lemonade mouth-to-mouth.

When he turned his head for a second, his friend nudged him, laughing.

Bro, you still havent washed off that temporary tattoo?

Preston tilted his neck back. Under a decal of a yellow lemon, a pair of bright red words stood out: Roxys Property.

Never, he declared, his voice thick with affection. Its a custom piece from my girl. Im keeping it forever.

A chilling cold seeped into my bones. I stumbled out of the hotel in a daze.

I had just walked through my front door when my mother-in-law, her eyes red and swollen from crying, gripped my hand.

Audrey, darling, she said, her voice gentle. A Prescott woman isnt expected to live as a young widow. Ive found another family for you to consider. If hes a good man, I will personally arrange the match.

1.

So, has Audrey handled all the funeral arrangements? Prestons voice was casual, but I could hear the mocking undertone.

His friend chuckled. All taken care of, man. Meticulous, perfect etiquette. Classic Audrey.

She was crying her eyes out, but she still had that perfect, restrained posture. A true high-society lady.

Click.

Preston lit a cigarette, then placed it between Roxys lips, his eyes full of doting affection.

Through the haze of smoke, I saw the flicker of annoyance in his eyes.

Thats just Audrey, he said with a sigh. Emotionally numb by nature. She doesn't have feelings.

Her life is a color-coded schedule. What to eat, what to wear even getting pregnant was a calculated event, waiting for the exact day of ovulation. Shes rigid and boring.

Honestly, even if I really were dead, shed just live out her days as a dutiful widow, taking care of my mother and the Prescott estate.

His friend burst out laughing. One marriage certificate, and shes loyal to you and your family for life. Pretty good deal, huh?

Who knows, another voice chimed in, maybe shell even be happy when you come back from the dead.

The room erupted in laughter, each sound a needle piercing my eardrums. A bitter acid rose in my chest, and I had to take several deep breaths to swallow the tears.

For the sake of his dignity, I had suppressed my own grief to manage his affairs. Every person who came to offer their condolences praised my composure.

Preston found such a wonderful wife. Audrey, you poor thing, left to manage this entire mess.

I never saw it as a burden.

For Preston, I would have done it a million times over.

At home, I managed every detail of our lives so he never had to worry about a thing. In public, I was his most capable partner, helping him land the biggest deal for the Prescott Corporation in the last decade.

I truly believed we were soulmates, partners moving forward together.

I never imagined that in the end, all I was to him was a good deal.

Hey! Can you stop talking about your old-fashioned wife when youre with me? Roxy ripped off her headset and slammed it on the table.

I want you to divorce her! And you have to get my name tattooed on your chest! Thats how Ill know you really love me!

My heart clenched. I was terrified to hear his answer.

Preston hesitated for only a second before nodding eagerly. Okay, baby. If you want a divorce, well get a divorce. Want to go get that tattoo right now?

An arctic chill washed over me. A violent headache threatened to split my skull in two.

For the first time in my life, I lost control. I stumbled out of the gaming hotel, running blindly. On the crowded street, Prestons proposal echoed in my ears.

Audrey, in the Prescott family, theres no divorce. Only til death do us part. You will be the only wife I ever have.

How laughable. His vow had an expiration date of only three years.

I wandered the streets, lost, until my phone buzzed. It was my mother-in-law, her voice weary.

Audrey, youve been through so much. In our family, theres no tradition of widowhood. Ive found someone for you. Please, consider marrying again.

2.

I dont know how long I stood there before I heard my own trembling voice answer.

Okay.

After hanging up, I realized Id unconsciously walked to the entrance of an amusement park. To the base of the bungee tower.

This time, I bought a single ticket.

As the elevator ascended, I saw him again, the Preston from three years ago.

Before I met him, my life was a set of rigid rules laid out by my parents. I was taught to be rational, to live life on a razors edge. One wrong step meant failure.

My mothers most frequent mantra was, You enjoy a life of privilege others can only dream of. The price is that you must discard all unnecessary emotion.

I wanted to rebel, but I knew I didnt have the right. In our world, the moment you step out of line, you are replaced. I would become worthless, with nothing.

Preston was the first person who made me feel like I could take off my mask.

Audrey, life is short, hed said, his eyes sparkling with mischief. Why live it like youre walking on eggshells?

Isnt it better to just live in the moment?

He helped me sneak past the bodyguards my parents had assigned to me and took me straight to the bungee platform.

In that heart-stopping moment of freefall, I clung to him, and for the first time in my life, I broke free from my gilded cage and screamed with abandon.

Preston was the beautiful, chaotic exception to my perfectly curated life. I loved the rebellion in his soul, his courage to love and hate so fiercely.

The elevator jolted, and I gripped the railing, my heart skipping a beat. The ghost of the man I loved flickered and blurred.

Just like the real man had.

He started changing six months ago. His predictable routine began to fray. Our lives, once intertwined, became parallel lines that never touched.

Hed come home after I was asleep. Id leave for work before he woke up.

I tried asking his secretary, but she would just stammer about business dinners. But the cloying scent of cheap perfume on his shirts told a different story.

My upbringing made it impossible for me to cause a scene. I could only remind him calmly, Be careful eating out so much. You might get sick.

That was the first time he ever threw something in my presence. A bowl shattered at my feet, splattering hot soup across my ankle, raising a line of angry blisters.

So the perfect little princess knows how to be passive-aggressive after all, he sneered. Tired of dropping hints? Why dont you just investigate me if you want to know so badly?

He knew me too well. He went straight for the kill.

He knew my breeding, my decorum, would never allow me to stoop to tracking his movements. I had to let it go.

Thinking back, I regret it. If I had intervened then, maybe we wouldnt have ended up here.

Maam? Is this your first time bungee jumping? The safety instructions are

A staff members voice pulled me from my thoughts.

I shook my head. I know them all.

He nodded and opened the gate.

I looked down at the vast emptiness below, my breathing quickening. My heart, which had been dormant for so long, began to pound.

In the moment of the fall, the wind whipped away the memory of Prestons mocking voice, his condescending smile.

Our story began here.

It was only right that it end here, too.

3.

When I got down from the platform, the wind had already dried the tears on my face.

My mother-in-law sent me the address for the meeting. I plugged it into my GPS. Just as I was about to pull away, someone tapped on my window.

I looked up, and was startled to see Roxys face.

Hey, old hag. You probably recognize me. You saw everything at the gaming hotel, didnt you?

She swung a baseball bat, smashing it against my car window.

CRACK.

Shards of glass flew past my cheek, stinging like fire.

Roxy grabbed a handful of my hair, yanking me halfway out of the broken window. She leaned in, her voice a low hiss in my ear.

Im here to tell you, since you heard Preston say hes divorcing you, you better play along. Or Ill make you regret it.

Ive seen your type before. So high and mighty. You know what he hates most? A dead fish like you. Im the only one who can give him passion!

I met her defiant gaze. So?

Roxys smirk faltered, her bleached-blonde bangs seeming to bristle with anger.

Im not letting him go, Audrey! Hes the first good man Ive ever met. He spoils me, he cares for me more than my own father does, and he gives me money to take care of my grandma!

Dont you get it? A mans money is where his heart is. Does he do that for you?

I tried to pry her fingers from my hair, my voice hoarse. You think he really loves you? Youre just a cheap thrill, the easiest way for him to feel something new. Once the novelty wears off, there will be a second you, and a third

Her face flushed crimson, as if Id struck a nerve. Who are you to judge me?! she shrieked, dragging me out of the car.

Rip.

A button on my blouse tore off, and the sudden cold air made me panic. She held up her phone, pointing the camera at me, her voice shrill.

You think because you were born with a silver spoon you can lecture me? Lets see how a high-and-mighty princess like you survives after I plaster these pictures all over the internet!

Her strength was shocking. As she dragged me, the rhinestones on her nails scraped red lines across my skin.

I stumbled backward, my voice shaking with rage. What youre doing is illegal!

Roxy sneered. Illegal? Ive got nothing to lose. What are you, with your perfect little life, going to do about it?

She panted, then dialed a number on her phone. Yo, get the girls over here. Im at the Starlight garage. Were about to have some fun with a new toy.

My brow furrowed. I tried to snatch her phone, but she slammed the car door on my hand. A blinding, excruciating pain shot up my arm, making me tremble uncontrollably.

I gritted my teeth against the agony, pushing against the door and screaming for help.

Security! Somebody, help!

Silence. Despair began to creep in. My composure finally shattered. I frantically looked around for anything to defend myself with.

No one was coming. I was on my own.

My eyes landed on a fire extinguisher on a nearby pillar. I was trying to wrestle my hand free when a familiar, confused voice cut through the air.

Audrey?