His One-Man War of Unrequited Love

Three days ago, sifting through old belongings, I stumbled upon memories of a time capsule Ben and I buried a decade ago.

His face, however, stiffened at the mention. He urged me not to go, saying, Its been so long, surely someones dug it up by now.

I paid him no mind, and went to our old school alone.

But at the spot where wed buried it, I unearthed not one, but five metal boxes of varying sizes.

Two were ours, Bens and mine, from ten years back, already encrusted with rust.

The three extra ones: one was equally corroded, but the other two were pristine.

The old, rusty box bore the name Linda.

Inside, a note read: My secret love was a battlefield fought alone. Ben, I wish you happiness.

I remembered her then, a quiet girl who sat behind us in class, hardly noticeable.

The two shiny new boxes were engraved with Bens name and Lindas, respectively.

The date of burial was today.

Bens box read: My lifes greatest regret is not being able to give you a wedding.

Lindas box read: My lifes greatest regret is not being able to openly wish you a happy wedding.

I stood beneath the old elm tree, unchanged in a decade, clutching five cold metal boxes.

I felt like a complete and utter joke.

The wind swept through, swirling a few fallen leaves, and sending a chill through me.

So, in a corner I knew nothing about, another woman had fought her silent battles.

And my fianc harbored a regret hed never voiced.

His greatest regret was not being able to give her a wedding.

What about me then?

Our wedding, just two days away, what did that signify?

A grand deception, or a profound compensation for another womans devotion?

I reburied the three boxes that weren't mine, taking only Bens and my own.

By the time I returned home, darkness had completely fallen.

The living room light was on. Ben sat on the sofa, then immediately rose when he saw me.

What kept you so late? Where have you been?

I slipped off my shoes, calmly replying, I went back to our old school.

High school?

He faltered for a second, then quickly composed himself.

What for? Why didnt you call me to come along?

Nothing much. I was just passing by and dropped in to see some teachers.

He visibly relaxed, walking over to embrace me from behind.

His chin rested in the crook of my shoulder, his voice as soft as water.

You scared me, thought youd run off. The weddings in two days, cant be wandering off anymore.

I let him hold me.

Silence stretched between us, thick and suffocating.

After a long moment, I quietly asked:

Ben, do you really want to marry me?

His body stiffened, then he tightened his arms around me.

Of course. Weve been together ten years. What else would we do but get married?

Alice, what are you thinking?

Yes, ten years.

But the words from the iron box relentlessly replayed in my mind.

My lifes greatest regret is not being able to give you a wedding.

He released me, eagerly discussing the details of tomorrows wedding rehearsal.

He mimicked the officiant reciting the vows.

For richer, for poorer in sickness and in health

To marry Miss Alice

To marry Mr. Ben

Every word felt like a needle piercing my heart.

Do you like this bouquet? Or would you prefer white roses?

He held up his phone, eyes full of anticipation as he looked at me.

A surge of nameless anger flared inside me, burning away all reason.

Whatever.

I turned my head away, my voice icy.

Do whatever you want. I dont care.

Bens smile froze.

Alice, what do you mean? What do you mean you dont care? This is our wedding!

Ours?

I scoffed, unable to stop myself from turning back to him.

Is it really ours?

My question caught him off guard, and he frowned.

Whats wrong with you today? Youve been moody ever since you came back.

Ive been running around for our wedding, and this is your attitude?

My attitude? My chest felt tight with blockage.

What about yours? Is your attitude to

I stopped myself, almost exposing everything. I was afraid Id regret it if I spoke.

Bens eyes were bloodshot, and he roared at me:

What attitude? Havent I been busy with our wedding?

Alice, are you crazy? If you dont want to get married, then lets not!

He turned and slammed the door, the sound shaking the entire house.

I stood alone in the empty living room, tears falling without warning.

Ben and I had been together for ten years, and arguments were commonplace.

We were both stubborn, neither willing to back down first.

But this, him slamming the door and leaving me alone, was a first.

No, not a first.

I remembered another time.

At our high school graduation party, the class held a farewell dinner.

By then, we were officially together, in that intensely infatuated phase.

One of the guys, tipsy from drinks, joked that Linda, being such a quiet one, would probably never get married.

The words had barely left his mouth when Bens face instantly darkened.

I didnt think much of it then, assuming he just felt the guy was being tactless. I even tugged on his hand, telling him not to be angry.

But he abruptly shook me off and walked out without a word.

Leaving me standing there, facing a table full of surprised stares, utterly mortified.

That night, his mother said he hadn't come home, and his phone was off.

I found him the next day at an internet caf.

He simply said he was in a bad mood, offering a casual apology for leaving me the night before.

I believed him.

Looking back now, it was laughable.

The time capsule Linda buried contained a diary.

One page recorded that very party.

[Today, Mark made fun of me again, saying I wouldnt get married.]

[I was so sad, but Im used to it.]

[I never thought hed get angry for me, that hed actually shake off Alice and chase after me to comfort me.]

[He stayed with me on the rooftop all night, telling me I was a good girl, that they just didnt appreciate me.]

[In that moment, I felt like my whole world lit up.]

[Alice, Im sorry, I didnt mean to take him from you, even if it was just for one night.]

So, his bad mood that night was spent comforting another girl.

While I was worried sick about him all night, he was on a rooftop, lighting up another girls world.

Inside the iron box was also a photo, a group shot from our graduation trip.

Ben and I stood in the middle, smiling brightly.

Linda, however, was in the furthest corner, her gaze fixed on Ben, her eyes full of longing and adoration.

On the back of the photo, in Bens handwriting:

May you always smile as brightly as the sun.

Hed written the same words in my yearbook on graduation day.

There was also a bracelet, identical to the one on my wrist.

Hed told me it was a couples design hed searched several stores to find.

It wasn't a couple's design; it was a trios.

Ten years, Ben.

My youth, my love, all my visions for the future.

It turns out, from the very beginning, it was all an illusion.

I was never your only one.

I was just the one you displayed in plain sight.

My heart ached, almost to the point of being unable to breathe.

I curled up on the sofa, feeling all strength drain from my body.

My phone screen lit up. Julian, Bens high school roommate and a good friend, had sent a message.

I opened it. It was a photo, the background a bar VIP room.

Ben sat in the center of the booth, bottle in hand, eyes glazed, clearly drunk.

And the woman gently wiping his face with a napkin next to him, who else could it be but Linda?

Julians message followed immediately:

[Alice, I know your wedding is in two days, but I just couldnt stand by anymore.]

[Ben called us all out tonight, saying hed argued with you and was in a bad mood.]

[But then he turned around and called Linda.]

[They theyve been like this for years.]

[All of us friends saw it, but we were afraid to tell you.]

[The address is Nightfall Bar, VIP Room 302. I think you should come and see for yourself.]

I stared at the photo.

Lindas gaze towards Ben was full of concern and affection.

And Ben, he showed no resistance.

I took a deep breath, stood up from the sofa, and grabbed my car keys.

Following Julians directions, I found VIP Room 302 at Nightfall Bar.

The door was ajar, and familiar laughter drifted out.

I stopped, not immediately pushing the door open.

Brother Ben, dont be too angry. Alice just has a bit of a temper, just sweet-talk her a bit. After all, youre getting married.

A mans voice advised.

Another voice immediately chimed in:

Exactly, why bother with a spoiled princess like Alice.

If you ask me, our Linda is so much better. Gentle, considerate, never makes Brother Ben angry.

Isnt that right! If it werent for

Oh, never mind. Brother Ben, you marrying Alice we all feel bad for Linda.

Bad for what? Cant you see who Brother Ben really cares about? Its obvious, isnt it? Even on the verge of marriage, the first person he thinks of when he argues is our Linda.

A burst of laughter erupted from the room.

I leaned against the wall, feeling my blood run cold.

I recognized all those voices.

They were Bens best friends, and friends Id known for ten years.

I had personally delivered their wedding invitations.

So, in their eyes, I was just an unreasonable princess, and Linda was the understanding first love.

And Ben?

I stared intently through the crack in the door.

He sat in the middle of the group, letting Linda feed him fruit, and wipe the wine from the corner of his mouth.

Their actions were as intimate as a couple deeply in love.

He didnt object, didnt say a word in my defense.

He just silently accepted everyones teasing, basking in Lindas tenderness.

In that moment, I finally understood why, for ten years, Id always felt like I couldnt quite fit into his social circle.

Because in that circle, I was the unwelcome outsider.

Linda was the sister-in-law they had implicitly accepted.

I didnt have the courage to push open that door.

I recorded a video through the crack and turned to leave.

Just as I rounded the corridor corner, I bumped into Julian.

He looked at my tear-reddened eyes, sighed, and handed me a tissue.

You saw everything?

I nodded. Thank you.

Its nothing. Julian scratched his head, a little awkward.

I just felt it wasnt fair to you. Ben, he well, never mind. Dont be too sad.

I managed a smile. Im fine, perfectly fine.

How could I be fine?

Ten years of a relationship, collapsing in an instant.

The man I deeply loved had deceived me for ten years.

The friends I trusted had been mocking my foolishness behind my back.