Ruining My Ex Fiancés Perfect Wedding

I had been in a car wreck. A nasty concussion. And it had wiped my fianc right out of my mind.

Not only had I forgotten him, Id been vicious. Id told him I only loved my ex-boyfriend and ordered him to get the hell out of my life.

When he stood waiting for me, heartbroken, on the street below my apartment, Id walked downstairs and dumped a bucket of ice water on his head.

Then, on the day he was set to marry someone else, I remembered everything.

The day the memories returned wasnt marked by any special occasion.

No medicine mix-up, no near-drowning, and certainly not another car crash like the one that had stolen my past in the first place.

I was just sitting there, curled up with a book. I wasn't even reading anything profound, just a line that spoke of a tree and how it wouldn't be so green if it knew the sorrows of the world.

I was thinking, Of course, its easier to be the fool, to know nothing, to have no clue...

...no clue...

Suddenly, my brain detonated. A blinding rush of fragmented scenes flashed behind my eyes.

His eyes, red-rimmed, asking if I didnt want him anymore.

His voice, choked, asking if Id ever regret this.

The time he took me to the lake to fly a kite, the string slicing his hand...

The tidal wave of memory was immediate and suffocating. My head clogged and throbbed with the sudden influx of a life that wasn't mine until seconds ago. I grabbed the phone, my fingers flying to the number I knew better than my own name.

That numberthe one that had always been answered instantly, no matter the hourwas now met with a cold, metallic voice:

"We're sorry, the number you have dialed is currently busy."

I hung up and immediately dialed my oldest friend, Darian.

"Darian, where is Cas? Where is he right now?"

Darian and I had been friends since we were kids; I knew his family, the Eastons, had corporate ties with Cas's family, the Blackwoods. He had to know.

During my amnesia, my friends had all patiently, sometimes desperately, urged me to give Cas a chance, to at least try to get to know him again, warning that Id regret it otherwise.

But I hadn't been able to hear them. I'd been too lost in my own fog.

The raw panic in my voice was all Darian needed to hear. He understood immediately. "Rory, did you... did you remember?"

"Yes, everything. I remember. Tell me where he is. I have to go to him."

I was sobbing, barely able to breathe.

His reply was heavy, reluctant. "Maybe... maybe you shouldnt."

"Why? You know I've wanted this, Darian. You always told me I'd regret it," I cried, the words tearing out of my throat. "Please, just tell me. I need him. I need to see him..."

"Rory," he said, his voice quiet and devastating. "Hes getting married today."

The receiver felt like a bolt of lightning against my ear.

When Cas had desperately tried to hold onto me, hed asked: Rory, do you remember promising to marry me? You said you wanted pure white bellflowers everywhere, and a dress like a thousand stars. I remember all of it. If you throw me out like this and I marry someone else, won't you regret it?

The memory of my reply then was a physical stab in my chest now.

I had looked him straight in his pleading eyes and said, with icy detachment: Just let me go, okay? I hope you marry someone quickly and permanently, so you can stop bothering me.

Darians voice came back through the phone, sharp with old resentment. "You were so sure, Rory. You told everyone you wouldn't regret your choices, even if your memory returned."

"I do regret it! I regret it! Is that not allowed?" I wailed, slamming the phone down. I wiped my face and stumbled out the door.

Darians sleek black car was already idling at the curb.

He was always there, no matter how unreasonable, how wild my decisions were. He wouldn't abandon me.

"Darian, I" I began, shamefaced.

He cut me off, his expression unreadable. "I was going anyway. Get in. You won't stop until you see it for yourself."

Tears welled again. I choked them back and climbed into the passenger seat.

He tapped a local address into the GPSa venue in New Haven, the city where we had gone to college.

The silence in the car was thick with unspoken history.

Cass family estate was in New Haven, and thats where we'd attended university. He'd transferred into my major, and his student ID number was sequentially right after mine. It had felt like fate.

After graduation, when I insisted on moving back to Manhattan to find a job, he hadnt hesitated for a second.

"Rory," hed promised, "wherever you go, I go. Were never separating."

Id been so touched, my eyes blurring with tears. Youre the best! Ill take care of you.

But less than six months later, Id shattered him into pieces and hed retreated, devastated, back to New Haven.

After he left, Darian would watch me from across a table at a bar, nursing a drink, while I pretended not to care. His gaze was always complex.

"Rory, are you really sure you won't regret this?"

"No," I'd insisted.

"What if you remember?"

"The doctors said its a million-to-one shot. How would I remember? Besides, even if I did, I probably still wouldnt regret it."

And now I had remembered.

And I regretted it.

Regretted it so fiercely I wanted to die.

Darian dropped me off at the entrance of the Grand Regent Hotel and went to find parking.

I stood alone on the pavement. I hadnt even made it inside the ballroom, but I was already stunned.

The scale and lavishness of the wedding went far beyond anything I could have imagined.

White bellflowers were everywhere, a sweeping cascade of them from the entrance onward.

Pure, dense, and blindingly white.

Wedding must have bellflowers, his voice echoed in my memory.

He always loved bellflowers. He used to tell me: Rory, youre just like a bellflowerso pure and beautiful.

He had described our wedding to me countless times.

For a flashing, insane moment, I thought I was hallucinating.

Could this be my wedding with Cas? Was I still in that hospital bed, trapped in a nightmare, waiting to wake up?

My daydream dissolved the moment I saw the enormous welcome sign at the entrance.

White florals framed the display, making it solemn and utterly exclusive.

"Mr. Caspian Blackwood and Ms. Kendall Lynch. A Match Made in Heaven."

Kendall. Of course, it was her.

The girl who had always wanted to be with him had finally won.

Below the main announcement, a secondary line was engraved, solidifying the union:

"The heir of Blackwood Group and the daughter of Lynch Enterprises: A perfect union of power and pedigree."

The photo of the happy couple, all beaming smiles, was drowned in the white floral sea. They looked sweet, warm, and utterly right.

I watched the stream of luxury cars and the distinguished, wealthy guests flowing past me and understood with painful clarity:

Even without the recent betrayal, it never would have been me.

Kendall was Cas's childhood friend. The kind who had supposedly been trailing after him for over a decade.

She had even transferred to our university the day after Cas did.

She was beautiful, savvy, and wealthy, and she wasn't shy about spending money on people, quickly becoming a kind of social queen.

When our class played a charity basketball game, she kitted out the entire men's team in custom-designed jerseys.

For our group retreat, she had a full semi-trailer of high-end gear hauled in to set up the party.

No one disliked her. So, when Cas and I first got close, the whispers about me were vicious.

Kendall and Cas are soulmates, a family arrangement. Rory is just the cheap distraction.

Rory is poor, shes just latching onto the richest guy she can find.

Rorys necklace must be stolen. Theres no way she could afford something like that.

I was poor, but I wasn't without pride. For a long time, I wouldn't speak to Cas, wouldnt allow us to have any interaction, and certainly wouldn't accept his attention.

Eventually, Kendall must have decided I was too beneath her to bother with and stopped trying to actively exclude me. She even started skipping classes.

Cas, however, had none of the arrogance of a rich kid. He was hardworking, serious about his studies, and always prepared study guides for everyone before finals.

Once, he took me to the universitys quiet lake. He said he wanted to fly a kite for me.

He ran across the grass, holding the string, looking a little clumsy but full of vibrant energy.

He really was the most infectious, radiant person Id ever met.

I was lost in my own thoughts when he ran back, pulling the kite behind him, and shouted over the wind:

"Rory! You're my kite!"

The wind was strong by the water, and his hair blew across his face. He grinned, his teeth straight and dazzling white.

He handed the spool to me.

Distracted, I missed the catch. The spool tumbled, and the string began to unwind in frantic circles. He scrambled to retrieve it, slowly winding the line back in.

He finally came back to me, holding the collected kite and spool. His palm was cut by the taught string, red dots of blood welling up.

He just smiled. "No big deal."

In that moment, not falling for him was impossible.

Cas assured me that Kendall was just a friend, maybe a family friend, a little sister. He swore he had no interest in her. If he did, he wouldn't be with me.

So, I tried to ignore Kendall's occasional harassment. I could handle the gossip.

But about a year into our relationship, Kendall started actively inserting herself into our lives.

More accurately, into his life.

Shed drag him to lunch. Shed insist he come shopping with her. Shed always include him in her exclusive parties.

Her parties were always in high-end, member-only venues, full of complicated social rituals.

I knew she wanted to watch me fumble. She wanted me to feel utterly out of place, to get the message that I didn't belong.

I managed to hold my own, but I was exhausted by it. She was constantly sitting too close to him, insisting they sing duets together, or "accidentally" drinking from his glass.

I finally exploded at Cas. He promised he would draw a firm boundary with her.

Not long after that, I had the car crash and lost my memory.

"Hurry up! The brides bouquet! Just finished the custom requests!"

I turned to see a frantic wedding coordinator shoving a bouquet into my hands. "Long wait! Ms. Lynch's changes are done! Get this to her, please!"

Then she rushed off.

I must have looked like a stunned venue assistant, standing there in my plain clothes. I stared at the bouquetbellflowers woven together, diamonds subtly set in the arrangement. A bitter laugh caught in my throat. I resigned myself and walked inside.

After fumbling through three wrong doors, I pushed open the door to the bridal suite.

The room was bright, lit with a glowing, starlight-like luminescence. The woman in the mirror seemed to radiate light.

Kendall was wearing a massive dress with an enormous train, tiny water-based diamonds sprinkled everywhere, exposing her beautiful neck and arms.

"Cas! I sent you to get the flowers, what took you so long"

She called out happily, then turned and saw me. Her smile froze and her expression immediately turned cold.

"You. What are you doing here?"

Wordlessly, I extended the bouquet to her.

"I just ran into it. Here."

She took the flowers with a look of distaste and immediately grabbed a bottle of floral spray and misted the bouquet.

"You can go now," she dismissed me, waving a manicured hand impatiently.

When I didn't move, her expression changed to a wary probe. "Did you remember?"

I nodded once.

A flicker of panic crossed her face, quickly replaced by a victorious smile. She patted my shouldera gesture of false camaraderie.

"We owe you everything. You gave him up. You saved his life."

I didnt want to say another word. I turned to walk away.

The room was too beautiful, she was too beautiful, and her dress was like a thousand stars.

The stars Cas had promised me.

I was a few steps down the hall when I realized a piece of delicate chiffon fabric was snagged on my shoulder.

It must have caught on something in the dressing room. I needed to return it.

As I reached the door, I heard Cass voice inside.

"I waited for half an hour, I didn't see anyonewait, you already have it?"

Kendall's voice, smooth and falsely contrite, responded:

"Cas, Rory was just here. She brought the bouquet to me. She said she was so happy to see us together, that she hopes we'll be eternally happy, and that you should never think of her again."

The doorknob rattled, as if someone was preparing to open the door. I was about to slip away when I heard Kendall continue:

"She doesn't want to see you, Cas. She remembered a while ago, but she's marrying her ex-boyfriend now, and she won't look back. Think about those messages. She told you herself that hes the one she loves the most."

Ex-boyfriend...? Chat logs...?

Suddenly, everything clicked into place. The fog of my partial recovery cleared with stunning, brutal force.

After my accident, I had actually started to like Cas again.

He had been so patient. Rory, Im sorry I rushed things. It doesnt matter if you don't remember. We can start over. You can fall in love with me again. We don't need the past.

I was just about ready to let go of the past and start a new relationship with him.

Until that night, when he took me to a friends gathering.

When I was in the restroom, Kendallthe only other woman therecornered me.

"Rory, your timing was impeccable," shed said, her voice dripping with poison. "Even if Cas was determined to break up with you, he couldn't just dump a girl in a coma."

Kendall told me Cass family had always despised me because I was an orphan with no connections. Cas, under pressure, was planning to end the engagement. The day of the accident, she insisted, we weren't going to look at wedding venues; he was going to break up with me. The only reason he hadn't was because breaking an engagement after a life-threatening accident would ruin the Blackwood Groups reputation. He was only taking care of me until the PR fallout faded.

I was reeling. "He never said any of this to me."

"We're all friends here. I've watched you both," she continued, pushing her advantage. "I even told him to cherish you and ignore the whole 'perfect match' business. But you don't remember anything now. You're fundamentally incompatible. Did you know Cas can't eat spicy food? And youre constantly putting chili in his meals."

I hadnt known. Since Id left the hospital, Cas had done all the cooking, and he often made spicy food. I assumed he liked it too.

"Do you know youre supposed to accompany him to corporate functions? Do you understand the language they speak? Have you ever been to those places? Can you afford the clothes? Do you know the constant pressure Cas is under because of you?"

I stared blankly as her mouth moved.

"If you truly haven't remembered, just let him go, okay? Dragging him down with your illness is selfish."

Her words resonated with the self-sacrificing part of me. I couldn't ruin his life.

I went home and immediately began to distance myself, preparing to move out.

The day I was moving my last boxes, Kendall knocked on my door.

Her eyes were red. "Since youve made the decision, can you be crueler? Make him give up? This uncertainty is hurting him. Just tell him you love someone else. Like an ex-boyfriend or something."

She said Cas was drunk and waiting downstairs, desperate for an answer.

I agreed. I went upstairs, filled a bucket with water, and poured it over his head.

When he looked up, stunned, I spoke every word with measured coldness:

"I don't love you. I have someone else I love. Can you please stop bothering me? Just get out of my life."

He was speechless for a long time, then his expression turned to ash. "But... didn't you two break up?"

"It was a misunderstanding."

"So, the messages are real," he whispered, utterly defeated, pulling himself off the pavement. "I didn't want to believe it. Fine. I wont bother you again."

I turned and ran back inside, holding back tears, and forgot to ask the one thing that mattered: How did he know the person I loved was an ex-boyfriend?

The truth was, I didn't have an ex-boyfriend.

While I was recovering in the hospital, a guy had requested to follow me online. He claimed to be an ex-boyfriend, said we broke up over a misunderstanding, and just wanted to check on me and be friends.

I believed him and accepted.

I was struggling to recognize Cas and was constantly lost in my memory loss, so I chatted with this guy occasionally. It was mostly small talk and venting about the pain of losing my past. There was never anything romantic.

When I decided to try and start over with Cas, I explained everything to the ex and blocked him.

How did Cas know about that?

The "chat logs" he mentionedI hadnt understood them then. But hearing Kendall reference them today, I finally saw the crystal-clear picture.

Kendall had told him.

That "ex-boyfriend" was a figment of her manipulation, possibly her own online persona or a paid accomplice.

She had fabricated the messages, or heavily edited them, and sent them to Cas, claiming I didn't love him.

He hadn't believed her and came downstairs drunk to confront me.

She then pleaded with me to use the new lover excuse to reject him.

She used my own amnesia, my vulnerability, and the fact that I didnt recognize her as a threat to make me personally destroy my future with Cas.

He gave up. He left.

She won.