She Regrets It Too Late

I lost the drinking game at the alumni reunion. It was one of those stupid, performative dares: Pretend to be a couple. Date for seven days.

It happened to be exactly one year to the day since we broke up.

Cassandra MillerCass, as everyone called herwas afraid Id cling, afraid I'd see it as a second chance. She looked bored, her voice a low, tired murmur as she laid down the ground rules.

"It's just a game, Teddy. Don't ruin it by being serious."

I nodded in agreement.

Under the rules of the challenge, we were forced to act like a real coupleholding hands, sitting close.

On the sixth night, Cass got drunk. She buried her head in the hollow of my neck, her perfume flooding my senses.

"I agree to get back together," she slurred. "Isn't that what you always wanted?"

She seemed to have forgotten.

That desperate version of methe one who beggedhad died ten months ago.

The last time Id pleaded for us to reconcile was ten months back. That day, shed finally agreed to meet, but only to defend her mentee. Her impatience was a sharp, undisguised edge.

"Stop asking about him plagiarizing your work, Teddy," she'd said. "I promise I won't break up with you. Satisfied?"

The one who proposed the "Seven-Day Couple Challenge" was Cass's best friend, Blake Harringtona certified trust fund baby.

After Cass and I both tacitly agreed, Blake immediately changed her mind.

"Wait, a week is too short," she announced, swirling the liquor in her glass. "No one can develop feelings in a week. How about two weeks? I'll double the prize money to forty thousand."

The prize had just doubled.

I was sitting in the corner of the booth, my hands resting on my knees, curling slightly into fists. I looked up and nodded quickly.

"I can do that."

Blake grinned. "Perfect. So, then"

"Why are you so exhausting, Blake?"

Cass cut her off. Her beautiful eyes were downcast, looking at no one.

"A week, or nothing."

She tapped her glass lightly on the coffee table and stood up.

"Either one week, or the whole thing is off."

Blake rolled her eyes, muttering about Casss perpetually foul mood. I felt a small, familiar pang of disappointment, but I compromised immediately.

"A week is fine."

Cass didn't slow down. She pulled open the VIP room door and walked straight out.

The guy next to me nudged my elbow. "Cass just left, dude. Aren't you going after her?"

That was the moment I realized the challenge had officially begun. I immediately chased after Cass.

One of Cass's designer watches probably cost more than the prize money. No one knew why shed agreed to the challenge at all.

On the walk back to the dorms, Cass spoke the first sentence of the day to me.

"Teddy."

I was walking beside her and looked up. Casss eyes were focused on the path ahead, distant and uninterested.

"It's just a game with a one-week deadline. Being serious will just make it miserable."

I was still calculating the prize money in my head, so I gave a vague nod.

"I won't be serious."

Cass finally tilted her head and looked at me. "Promise you won't stalk me again?"

I froze. All the humiliating, messy memories flooded back. I couldn't help but offer a wry, defeated smile.

I looked her in the eye, my promise genuine.

"I promise."

"In a week, we go back to being strangers. I absolutely will not bother you."

The slight tension in Casss shoulders seemed to release. We had reached the entrance of her sorority house. Cass stopped. The cold, superior look in her eyes softened slightly.

"Then come add me back on the app, boyfriend."

She turned to leave. "I have something to do. Go back to your room. I'll text you later."

I had no objection. One of the rules of the challenge was that the couple had to cultivate the relationship both online and offline. After the challenge, we were required to share our chat logs as proof that we hadn't just faked it. After all, forty thousand dollars wasn't easy money.

I added Cass back on my phone after ten months. The memory of her deleting me the first time was still vivid.

It was the seventh day after Casss abrupt, devastating breakup. The message thread was nearly covered in the green of my frantic messages, and she finally responded with a single text.

I could feel her sheer impatience radiating through the screen.

"Are you done yet?"

She was so utterly calm; it made me feel like a complete lunatic.

The Calculus professor was yelling excitedly into his microphone, but I couldn't hear a word. I typed quickly.

"I just want to know why you broke up with me. Is that so hard?"

Cass: "I just didn't want to date anymore."

Heartbroken, I still refused to give up.

"Are you still mad because I got upset last time?"

"I won't ever do that again, okay?"

"Cass, I'm sorry. Please don't break up with me."

"I really love you."

I never got to send that last message. Casss patience had run out, and she blocked me immediately.

I stared blankly at the red exclamation mark. My chest tightened, my heart painfully constricted, making it hard to breathe.

As soon as the class bell rang, I grabbed my books and bolted out of the lecture hall, racing to Cass's building.

She walked out of the classroom with a guy, their backs to me. His name was Ronan, a mentee in my department.

"Cass," Ronan said, his voice bright. "I saw you blocked Teddy just now. Why'd you do that, Cass?"

"He's exhausting," Cass replied, her voice as detached and minimal as always.

Ronan was younger, with a sunny, golden-retriever vibe. "So if I just followed you to class without permission, would I exhaust you, too?"

Cass asked languidly, "What do you think?"

"I think since I'm so adorable, well-behaved, and kind, you wouldn't have the heart to actually hate me!"

Cass scoffed. "You're worse than he is."

She probably didn't even notice that her tone lacked the utter contempt shed used when she spoke of me moments before.

After getting Cass back from blocking, I didn't return to the dorm immediately. I went to the struggling local animal rescue, the one that was nearly closing its doors.

The director and two volunteers looked as worried and stressed as ever.

I excitedly told them Id be getting five thousand dollars in a week.

The director hugged me, sobbing.

"Teddy, you're a godsend! You're our hero!"

I was being choked, but I laughed, pulling back.

"Alright, alright. Stop worrying about the costs. Get the dogs who need it into the clinicsurgery, IV fluids, whatever it takes!"

The director's tears instantly dried up, and she shot to her feet. "I saw a Golden Retriever limping in the next neighborhood, and I didn't even dare bring him back! Oh God, I have to go find him right now!"

She and the volunteers rushed out.

Walking back to campus, I was overjoyed thinking about the more-than-enough prize money.

Then I passed the athletic field and saw them.

Ronan was crouched next to Cass, his voice low and muffled.

"Why are you with him again?"

"You said he was annoying, that he made you sick, and that you regretted dating him."

"Cass, do you even know I like you?"

Cass leaned against the wall, her hands hanging loosely at her sides, her beautiful face utterly devoid of emotion. She said nothing.

The very first rule of the challenge was that we were not allowed to tell any third party that we were pretending.

I wrinkled my nose awkwardly at the word "annoying." I was somewhat surprised. I had taken a ten-month leave of absence, and they still hadn't started dating.

Ronan didn't get a response. He stood up and stared into her eyes.

"Tell me right now that you don't like me at all, and I'll never show up again."

A faint layer of irritation crossed Cass's face.

But as Ronan turned to leave, she reached out and grabbed his wrist.

"Don't go."

Casss voice was low, sounding slightly down, yet still effortlessly graceful.

"I don't... want you to leave."

Ronan finally cracked a small, hesitant smile. He turned back, leaned down, and kissed Cass lightly on the lips.

"You like me a little, too."

"Cass."

"I'll wait for you. Until the day you're ready to be with me."

Cass raised a hand, gently pinching his ear, and said nothing.

I pulled my scarf tighter around my neck and quietly walked away.

They'd finally talked it out. Ronan probably wouldn't have to wait longthey'd likely be together within a week. But that had nothing to do with me. I just hoped Cass wouldn't get too emotionally distracted and terminate the challenge early.

Not long after I returned to my room, I received a message from Cass.

"Asleep?"

I didn't want to chat, so I lied dismissively.

"Just about to."

Cass: "Just got back from returning a book at the Science library."

I yawned, not bothering to call her out.

"Cool."

A few minutes later.

Cass: "Good night, then?"

Saying good morning and good night to each other was a mandatory requirement for cultivating the online relationshipa specific challenge rule.

I quickly replied with a good night of my own, eager to end the excruciating conversation.

It might have been the first time seeing Cass in ten months. That night, I dreamed of the day I decided to finally let her go.

The emotional backlash was lethal.

I forced myself to stay rational, to avoid doing anything she disliked. I cautiously tried to please Cass.

She wasn't as resistant as she had been initially. She didn't even chase me away when I brought my food tray to sit opposite her.

I thought the progress bar of my efforts was inching forward. Even slowly was fine.

Our mutual friends knew about Cass and me. Thats why, when I was stranded up on the hiking trail and called a friend for help, he pushed the task onto Cass, thinking he was playing matchmaker.

"Teddy, I told Cass to go get you."

My foot was injured, I didn't know the direction, and my phone battery was critically low. All I could do was sit on a rock and wait for Cass.

When the battery was almost dead, I called her. I wanted to ask when she would arrive.

No answer.

The battery drained too fast. I wanted to save the last bit of power to call a friend or 911, but it shut down unexpectedly.

I had no choice but to grab a branch, use it as a makeshift crutch, and limp down the hill. I fell a few more times on the way. My ankle swelled even more. But I had to grit my teeth and keep going.

I ran into Cass right outside the campus gate, being intimate with Ronan.

My clothes were torn by branches. I was covered in dirt, limping and bruiseda complete contrast to the clean-cut Ronan.

I was too exhausted from the long walk. My voice came out as a barely audible whisper.

"You know, if you couldn't come, you could have just told me earlier."

Cass's painted lips curved in a cold question. "So you had to wait for me?"

I tugged at my dry lips. She was right, of course.

Her eyes scanned me from head to toe before she looked away, her voice as icy as ever.

"Stop degrading yourself like this, Teddy."

"It's embarrassing."

My friend returned from elsewhere and happened upon the scene. He rushed forward, furious, demanding an explanation from Cass:

"Didn't you promise to go pick up Teddy? Did I not tell you his phone was dying?? Do you know how dangerous it is for him to be up on that mountain alone?"

Cass was unperturbed, her tone slow and even.

"Ronan was hurt, too."

"I can only take care of one of you, understood?"

With that, she took Ronans arm and walked toward the student health clinic.

My friend was livid and tried to argue with her, but I stopped him. At that moment, I suddenly felt that none of it was worth it. I couldn't blame anyone. I could only blame myself for my own persistent foolishness, for seeking out my own misery.

I looked at my friend, sighing. "Forget it."

After that day, I never sought Cass out again.

Even if I saw her and Ronan on the street, I would calmly avert my gaze and walk straight past them.

Sometimes, thinking of Cass still hurt, a stifling pain in my chest. The withdrawal was unbearable, but I was truly done trying to win her back.

Until Ronan plagiarized my thesis proposal and most of my presentation slides, and then won the regional competition with it.

I went straight to his faculty advisor and accused Ronan of plagiarism.

"This was my final project."

The professor closed the office door and looked at me, exasperated.

"Look, I can compensate you, alright? It's just a school assignment. It's not like he stole your prize. Theres no need to escalate this and get the award revoked, is there?"

His tone shifted to a clear threat by the end. The implication was that if I dared to report Ronan, I could forget about ever receiving a scholarship for the rest of my college career.

"Young man, I'll give you three days to think about it. No rush."

I walked out of the academic building, feeling defeated and lost.

Cass was waiting for me below. She took my laptop bag without asking and silently took my hand.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

Cass didn't answer. She led me to the artificial lake where we used to take evening walks. It was the most secluded spot, nearly deserted.

Cass looked down at me and said softly:

"Come here."

"Hug me for a minute."

I didn't move, staring at her with a blank expression.

Cass gave a faint, cynical smile, her eyes subtly lifting.

My nerves tightened; I wanted to walk away.

But Cass stepped directly into my space and wrapped her arms around me. She gently rubbed my back, just as she used to.

"It's okay."

It had been so long since Id heard Casss voice this gentle.

I was so pathetic. The moment she showed the slightest initiative, my heart betrayed me again.

"Why is it so hard to fight for whats mine"

Cass didn't say much, but she held me tighter. My turbulent emotions slowly began to stabilize.

She suddenly tilted her head and lightly kissed my earlobe.

"Teddy."

"I won't break up with you."

My eyes widened. I looked up at her, utterly bewildered.

Casss expression was so calm, as if she were discussing a trivial matter.

"You love me."

"I can agree to get back together."

"There's just one condition: stop pursuing the issue of Ronan's plagiarism."

My throat was constricted, choked with an invisible cotton ball, making it impossible to speak. In the silence, I could barely hear the faint music drifting from the campus radio in the distance.

[She's not worth your tears anymore.]

[She doesn't understand your heart, pretends to be calm]

Casss voice was utterly cold.

"It's a fair trade."

A trade.

She was treating our reconciliation as a transaction, a way to ensure Ronan could keep his award.

I think I cried and yelled at Cass for a long time that day. I don't remember clearly, because I ran a high fever for several days and became seriously ill.

My roommate and friends all tried to reason with me:

"Why are you being so difficult? Ronan's advisor has serious connections. What good will come of fighting them?"

"Seriously, suck it up once rather than never getting a scholarship again."

While I was recovering, the scholarship results were posted. My name wasn't on the list.

Worse, I was diagnosed with clinical depression. It was severe enough that I needed medication and therapy. I had to take a year off school to recover and get my head straight.

As I dragged my suitcase out of the campus gate, I thought:

I need to go out there and discover things more beautiful than love.