Walking Away From My Twelve Year Obsession

I was binge-watching a show with Landon when the news about Anya Wellss return hit.

Our college alumni group chat wouldn't stop buzzing.

I glanced over at Landon, nudging his arm with a smile. No reaction from you?

He pinched my nose playfully, a flicker of something unreadable in his eyes. What do you want me to do, break out the bubbly? Go easy on the drama, Sweetheart.

I supposed he was right. They had broken up six years ago, and besides, Anya was married with a child. It was ancient history.

I walked into the kitchen to grab a glass of water. When I came back, Landon was staring blankly at his phone.

My gaze instinctively dropped to my own screen.

A new message had just appeared in the group:

[Heard the news? Anya got divorced.]

A cold, heavy stone dropped in my stomach.

Landon, Landon!

The last call was laced with a tiny, involuntary whine.

He snapped out of his trance and spread his arms, assuming I wanted a hug.

I set the water glass down sharply on the coffee table. I didn't move, just stood there, staring directly at him.

The intensity in my eyes made him visibly uneasy. What is it, Sweetheart? he asked, his voice tight.

What were you thinking about just now?

Landon blinked, feigning innocence. I was just thinking about what we should grab for brunch tomorrow.

Liar. I thought.

You were thinking about Anya.

I had been in love with Landon Pierce for twelve years. Every expression, every subtle shift in his gaze, was a language I was fluent in. That vacant starehe used to have it all the time in high school when he was hopelessly pursuing Anya. A decade had passed, and he still couldnt hide a thing. He still came undone the second her name entered the atmosphere.

A dull, painful ache settled in my chest.

I sulked all evening, and Landon spent the entire time trying to placate me. The phrase he repeated most often was: She and I are a closed chapter.

But their love had been a raging inferno. Even six years later, I still had occasional nightmares about Anya walking back into his life and Landon telling me he was done.

The next day, I slept until noon.

He patted my backside gently and chuckled. Time to get up, Sweetheart. The sun is practically begging you.

I rolled over, ignoring him.

He leaned down and kissed my cheek. I made your favoritehomemade French toast with all the fixings.

I had smelled the cinnamon and vanilla already. There was no sense in punishing my stomach for his sins.

Landon carried me to the dining table and loaded my plate. Just as I was deciding to forgive the previous nights lapse, his phone rang.

He took the call, speaking briefly, then looked at me. Nova, the class president is organizing a high school reunion on Saturday. Want to go?

A high school reunion. That meant Anya would be there.

Before I could even hesitate, Landon had politely declined.

I looked at him in surprise.

He stroked my head, his eyes sparkling with a familiar, genuine tenderness. I just remembered that Saturday is our five-year anniversary. We cant let strangers crash our day.

My eyes pricked with tears. I almost cried, ashamed of my own vulnerability. I decided right then to reluctantly forgive his late-night staring.

Over the next few days, I threw myself into planning the perfect five-year anniversary. I wrote a long, detailed list of activities.

Landon looked surprised. Sweetheart, can we possibly get all this done in one day?

But he quickly softened, giving me that indulgent smile. Anything my Nova wants, Im in.

But early that morning, Landon was called away by the hospital.

He was one of the most gifted pediatric cardiologists at St. Judes Medical Center. A particularly complex case required his immediate attention. He told me to go ahead to the restaurant for lunch, promising to be there exactly on time.

I waited until 1:30 PM, but he never showed.

The server apologized, explaining that the lunch service was over.

I left the restaurant and saw that a heavy rain had started to fall. The drops quickly soaked the bottom of my jeans. I pressed a hand to my lower abdomen, feeling a dull, persistent ache. It was probably just my period coming, but the chill instantly made the pain worse.

My hand was trembling as I called Landons number.

A woman answered.

Hello?

Im sorry, Dr. Pierce is busy right now. Can I take a message?

The sound of that voice sent a chilling current through me. It was Anya.

Hello? Are you still there? she asked when I didn't respond.

A few seconds of silence passed, then she sounded surprised. Nova? Is that Nova?

It is.

Anya laughed lightly. I saw the contact name was Sweetheart and guessed it might be you. She quickly realized her blunder and rushed to explain. Oh, dont misunderstand. Landon is my daughter's doctor. I brought her in for a consultation.

I managed a soft Mhm. A second later, the voice changed.

Sweetheart? Landons voice was anxious and tight.

Im so sorry, work got crazy. I totally missed the time. Ill be tied up here for a while longer. How about you just come to the hospital?

I arrived at St. Judes.

Through the glass panel of the patient room, I saw Landon sitting by the bed, playfully engaging the child. Landon was handsome and warm, and every child in the pediatric wing adored him, often calling him Big Brother Landon.

I moved closer and realized Anya was there, too, sitting opposite him. They were each holding one of the child's hands. The scene was perfectly idyllic, a portrait of a happy family.

If Anya hadn't so abruptly broken up with Landon six years ago, this is exactly what their life might have looked like.

My chest felt inflated, making it hard to breathe.

When I pushed the door open, Landons expression froze. He subtly, instinctively, released the childs hand.

The little girl on the bed suddenly grabbed his hand again and asked in a sweet, soft voice, Uncle Landon, can you be my daddy?

Landons face went rigid.

Anya quickly stuffed a small piece of bread into her daughters mouth and looked at me. Shes just a child talking nonsense. Please dont take it to heart.

I managed a strained smile. Impossible not to take it to heart. But I wasn't going to have a petty argument with a four-year-old.

The special case Landon had mentioned was Anyas daughter, Phoebe. The child had a congenital heart defect, and her ex-husband had divorced her because of it. Anya had returned to the States, traveling from clinic to clinic. She only chose St. Judes because she heard Landons team was leading in this field.

It was all a pure, cruel coincidence, yet utterly impossible to ignore.

Landon then spent the afternoon running around with Anya, taking Phoebe through a battery of tests. Time flashed by, and it was six oclock. None of the romantic plans on my anniversary checklist had been fulfilled.

I walked up to Landon and gently tugged the sleeve of his white coat. Landon, were out of time

He was buried in a stack of files, not looking up. Sweetheart, Im sorry, but Phoebe has a few more tests

I pursed my lips, annoyed. You promised to spend the day with me. You took the day off. Your colleagues can handle this

Nova, can you just be reasonable for once!

Landons voice suddenly rose.

I froze. My hands and feet instantly turned to ice. In our five years together, he had never raised his voice to me.

He realized his overreaction, and an apology flashed in his eyes, but he still pressed on. Phoebes case is highly unusual. There have only been a few successful procedures in the country. How can I just hand it off to anyone?

This is a life, Nova. Stop being so melodramatic.

A massive wave of wounded pride washed over me. My throat tightened as if it were stuffed with cotton. My voice came out scratchy and weak. Im not asking you to hand it off! I just think a nurse could supervise these routine tests. You dont need to be here for every second

Novas right, Landon. Youve done too much.

Anya walked into the office just then, looking at both of us. Hospital beds are tight as it is, and Im already so grateful you cleared one for us. I can handle the rest on my own.

I heard today is your five-year anniversary? Congratulations. I hope I get to toast you at the wedding soon.

Landons brow furrowed slightly when Anya mentioned the wedding.

Anya closed the door as she left. Silence descended on the office.

After a long moment, Landon sighed, took off his white coat, and walked toward the door. When I didn't move, he looked exasperated. Fine. Ill go with you. Lets go.

Forget it.

I spun to leave, wounded emotion swelling in my chest.

Landon grabbed my arm, pulling me back. He tried to sound endearing. I messed up, Sweetheart. I really did.

He was the man Id loved for twelve years. He knew exactly how to disarm me.

Landon took me to a movie.

While we waited for the showing, he was constantly on his phone, texting. I glanced at the screen and saw him instructing a nurse to keep an extra close eye on Phoebe.

My heart wrenched. I told myself to stop overthinking ithe was a dedicated doctor, this was just his professional courtesy.

Halfway through the film, his phone rang, its chime piercing the dark theater.

I looked at him, astonished. Landon always silenced his phone in theaters. What was wrong with him tonight?

He covered the phone with his hand and bent over, walking to the back of the aisle.

I hesitated, then followed.

As soon as he answered, Landons voice softened into a gentle coo. Phoebe, whats wrong? Tummy ache? Did you eat something bad? Can you ask your mommy to bring a doctor to you?

Ill be back at the hospital tomorrow. Be a good girl and listen to your mommy. Ill bring you a little present, okay?

Landon had always loved children; its why he was a pediatrician. Wed spent many nights curled up on the couch, daydreaming about the future.

I want a daughter, Sweetheart. Give me a daughter. One as cute as you.

Landon had proposed to me a month ago. Our families had agreed to set the engagement date right after the New Year. If things went smoothly, we might have our own child by next year.

Landon, please, I pleaded silently. Dont do this to me. Dont shatter our beautiful future.

In the following weeks, Landon started keeping crazy hours. Hed leave in the morning before I woke up and come home after I was already asleep. We were living in the same apartment but saw each other only once every few days.

He explained that Phoebes surgery was highly complex and needed to be done as soon as possible. I felt genuine sympathy for the little girlonly four, facing such a high-risk operation.

Knowing she loved dolls, I grabbed a new prototype from my toy design companya doll capable of simple conversationto give to her.

I reached the door of Phoebes room. It was slightly ajar.

Anya was sitting by the bed, stroking her daughters head. Phoebe, do you like Uncle Landon?

Yes! the little girl chirped.

Anya smiled, a thoughtful, calculating look in her eyes. She hesitated, then asked, Do you want him to be your daddy?

Yes! Phoebes head bobbed like a cork.

Then you need to be very good and make sure Uncle Landon likes you a lot. Maybe then he could be your daddy

What are you telling that child!

I was inside the room before I realized Id moved. My chest was heaving with fury.

Phoebe looked up at me, startled, and burst into tears.

Anya immediately pulled the child into a hug, rocking her.

Landon walked in from the hallway, looking confused. Whats going on?

Anya clung to Phoebe, her eyes red, and rushed to apologize to me. Nova, Im so sorry. I know youre upset that Landon has been spending all his time here, but you cant just yell like that, youll scare Phoebe. You know her heart is fragile

Landon turned to me, instinctively stepping in front of Anya. His eyes were dark, his tone low.

Nova, why did you yell at Phoebe?

I rushed to explain. I didnt! Anya was saying things to her. Shes putting bad ideas in her head

Anyas tears finally spilled over. Its all my fault! she choked out.

I only wanted to make Phoebe happy!

Landon looked at me, disappointment etched onto his face.

Nova, I told you Im only helping Anya and Phoebe out of simple friendship and professional courtesy. Why do you have to keep making a scene?

Do you know what you look like right now?

You look like a walking stereotype of the jealous girlfriend!

His eyes were turning cold.

In all our years, Landon had never spoken a harsh word to me. He had always looked at me with tenderness and a smile. It had only been a few days, and he was already a different person.

I bit down hard on my lip. The metallic taste of blood filled my mouth.

The bag containing the doll slipped from my fingers and hit the floor. I turned and fled.

I ran a few steps down the hallway when a sudden, excruciating cramp made me collapse onto the ground.

My face was ashen. A passing nurse was startled and rushed me to a quiet room. After asking a few questions, her expression turned peculiar.

You should go see the OB/GYN.

I was completely numb when the doctor told me I was seven weeks pregnant. No wonder I had been having cramps and my period was late.

A month ago, my first reaction would have been pure joy. Landon loved children; he would have been thrilled.

But remembering the way he had just spoken to me, my heart felt like a frozen block.

That evening, Landon, for once, came home relatively early. He looked exhausted, but he knelt in front of me and apologized for his outburst earlier.

Sweetheart, you cant think that way. I have absolutely zero feelings for her anymore. I just want to heal Phoebe.

My heart softened a little. I placed my hand on my stomach, ready to tell him the news.

Then, his phone rang again.

Phoebe suddenly has a bad stomach bug. I have to go back to the hospital!

I almost laughed. Landon was responsible for all his patients, but hed never been this frantic for any child. Only a fool would believe there was no underlying emotional connection.

After Landon left, I did something I hadnt done in six years. I opened the social media app where I used to, stalker-like, check his and Anyas old joint account.

It used to chronicle their relationship, reaching eighty thousand followers at its peak. Six years of silence had dropped the follower count to twenty thousand.

And yet, just one minute ago, a brand-new post had appeared on the long-dormant page.

[Thank you for running towards me a thousand times.]

The accompanying picture showed three hands laid togethertwo adult hands, one small childs hand.

I recognized the mans hand immediately as Landons.

That handthe one that carefully trimmed my nails. The one that patiently blow-dried my hair. The one that meticulously picked the bones out of my fish.

It was now on Anyas public page.

The sudden post stunned their old followers. Comments slowly started trickling in.

[OMG. My ancient OTP is resurrected?!]

[Resurrected? They have a child already!]

[Whaaaaat! So she didnt break up, she just went off-grid! Thanks for the good news, sis, I believe in love again!]

Tears blurred my vision.

I took a screenshot and sent it to Landon.

I wanted to hear how he planned to explain this.

His reply finally came back after midnight.

[Sweetheart, you're overthinking it. Anya said Phoebe wanted me to be her dad, and it helps her mood to pretend. A positive mood helps with her treatment, so I cooperated. Don't worry about it.]

I scoffed. If it was just a pretend moment, why take a picture and post it on a public social account?

We were supposed to go home this week to discuss the engagement with our parents. Landon hadn't mentioned it once, acting as if the plans never existed.

I should have seen it coming.

The moment he stared blankly at his phone after hearing Anya was divorced, everything had already spun off the rails.

The next day.

Landon was playing a quiet game with Anya and Phoebe. The little girl took both their hands and placed them on top of each other, giggling.

Mommy, Im going to have a daddy now!

Anya blushed, looking at Landon. A sudden impulse made her speak. Landon, maybe we should

Landon interrupted her. I just remembered I need to check on another patient. I have to go.

Anya bit her lip, disappointed.

Just as Landon walked out of the room, he ran into a nurse who looked surprised. Dr. Pierce, what are you doing here?

Landon was perplexed. Where else would I be?

I just saw your wife in the OB/GYN ward. She was preparing for a D&C. Arent you going to stay with her?

Landons body went instantly rigid, his face turning spectral white.