The Daughter You Left in the Flames

The day of the fire, they carried Lila, who only had a few superficial scrapes, down the stairs. They left me for dead, pinned beneath a burning rafter in the collapsing ruin.

It was a miracle the firemen dug me out. I woke up three days later in the ICU.

The day I was discharged, I had nowhere to go but back home.

The moment I stepped through the front door, I saw my parents, Robert and Penelope Winters, and my sister, Delilah, gathered around a lavish, buttercream cakea Survival Celebration.

My mother, Penny, saw me, immediately shifted her body to shield the cake, and said, Your sister is still shaken up. Dont you dare cause a scene or ask for a piece.

Normally, I would have combusted. I would have screamed, thrown something, demanded to know why they hadnt even checked the hospitals discharge time.

But this time, I just pulled the ghost of a smile across my face. I walked over and spoke in a tone of meek obedience they had never heard from me.

Mom, you worry too much, I said. I would never fight Lila for a piece. Im just happy shes safe.

I even picked up the silver cake knife myself, cut the largest slice, and offered it to Delilah with both hands. Here, Sis. Eat this. You need to calm your nerves.

They all froze.

My father, Rob, slowly lifted his head, his face a mask of suspicion. You youre really not going to make a scene?

I nodded gently. No. I wont make a scene. From now on, Ill do whatever you ask.

Mom took the knife, her hand trembling.

She stared at me for a long time, her eyes wide with a strange kind of panic.

Did the fire did it fry your brain?

I shook my head, my smile a rigid, unsettling arc. No. The doctors said my recovery was excellent.

My sister, Delilah, took a bite of the cake, then peered at me over the frosting.

Cassidy, youre youre really not angry?

Not at all. My smile grew even softer, and I let my gaze linger on the faint scrape across her cheek. I was so scared when I saw the blood on your face. Im just relieved youre okay.

The blood had been a tiny scrape she got from tripping on the lawn. I, on the other hand, had nearly been reduced to ash.

At my words, Lilas eyes immediately welled up. She dropped the fork and launched herself across the counter, throwing her arms around me. Oh, Cassie, Im so sorry! It was all my fault, I was just so scared

Her warm, sweet-smelling body pressed against me, and I felt a chill of absolute revulsion.

I lifted a hand and gave her a light, measured pat on the back.

Its okay, Sis. Really.

My father stood nearby, his brows furrowed. He opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again. He finally settled on a strained, Just good to have you home. Go up and rest.

I nodded, turning toward the stairs.

I had only taken two steps when he called out.

Cassidy, wait.

I turned back.

He shuffled his feet, his gaze darting away, unable to meet my eyes. Your sister is having nightmares since the trauma. Your south-facing room it gets the most sun. Could you let her use it? We fixed up the utility closet for you. Its small, but you wont die in there.

You wont die in there.

What a perfect phrase.

Before, I would have thrown a fit. I would have cried and demanded to know why.

Now, I simply nodded again, my voice flat, without a single ripple of emotion.

Of course. Ill go pack up my things right now.

My father froze. My mother froze. Even Delilahs tear-filled eyes widened in disbelief.

I ignored their reactions and walked upstairs.

My old room was exactly as I had left it in high school: concert posters on the walls, and a desk covered in academic awardsevery single one brighter, more numerous, than Lilas. In this house, they were worthless.

I folded my clothes, piece by piece, and packed them into a single suitcase.

Lila followed me, standing silently in the doorway.

I turned to her.

Come in, Sis. Sit down. This is your room now.

She bit her lip.

Cassidy do you do you hate me?

No. I tucked the last shirt into the case. Youre fragile. You deserve the best room.

Lilas tears fell.

But

No buts. I dragged the suitcase out, past her. As I brushed by, I could smell the cloying, sweet vanilla buttercream of the cake on her sweater, a scent that already felt alien to me. Im heading to the utility closet. Get some rest.

As I hauled the suitcase downstairs, I heard my parents low, worried whispers from the living room.

Shes really changed, Moms voice was laced with a strange, sick awe.

Good, Dads was tinged with relief. That fire in her, that constant arguingit was exhausting.

But I dont know. Theres something wrong. I feel cold when she looks at me.

I didn't stop. I dragged the suitcase straight into the utility closet.

It was smaller and grimmer than Id imagined. Mold stained the corner walls, the window was the size of a paperback book, and the ancient cot creaked with every shift of weight. The air was a stale mix of dust and rot.

I sat on the cot and stared at the spiderwebs stretching across the low ceiling.

My phone rang.

It was my grandmother, Patsy.

Cassidy, I heard you were discharged? Why arent you here with me?

My throat tightened, but the tears wouldnt comethey seemed to have been incinerated on the day of the fire.

Grandma, Im fine at home.

Fine my ass! I heard everything! Patsys voice instantly rose, furious. You wait right there, Im coming over now! Im going to tear them limb from limb!

The line went dead.

I lay back and quietly listened to the fine, tight aches radiating from my injuries.

The doctor said I needed at least three months of physical recovery.

But I knew I couldnt wait three months.

Bang! Bang! Bang!

The front door suddenly rattled under a furious, drumming assault, followed by Grandma Patsys strong, angry voice echoing through the entire house.

Robert Winters! Open this door! What did you do to my granddaughter?!

Grandma Patsy arrived with the speed of a cyclone.

She marched in, carrying a thermal food container, and launched immediately into an attack.

What in Gods name kind of parents are you? Your daughter just got out of the hospital and you put her in a storage closet?! Are your hearts made of granite!

Mom gave a nervous, forced smile.

Mom, please dont be angry. Cassidy volunteered for it.

Volunteered my foot! Grandma shoved past her and charged straight into the utility closet.

When she saw me on the cot, her eyes immediately filled.

My sweet girl, why are you being such a fool?

I sat up.

Grandma, Im okay.

She placed the thermal container by my head and pulled a thick wad of crumpled bills from her pocket.

This is my emergency savings. You take it. Dont you dare stay here and let them make you suffer.

I looked at the wrinkled cash, feeling a sharp twist of pain in my chest. This was all she had in the world, and she wanted to give it to me.

But I gently pushed the money back.

Grandma, I really am fine. Dad, Mom, and Lila are fine, too. You shouldnt worry.

Patsys hand froze in mid-air.

She stared at me as if she were seeing a stranger.

Cassidy, you

I really am okay. I offered a small, unsettling smile. Youre getting older. You need to keep that money for yourself.

Grandma Patsys tears flowed harder.

She reached out a trembling hand to touch my cheek, and I instinctively flinched away.

The small, involuntary movement utterly broke her.

She whirled around and stormed back into the living room, screaming at my parents.

What have you done to my girl? She wont even let me touch her! Youve turned my good, fiery granddaughter into this this ghost!

Mom whispered, Mom, Cassidy is just growing up. Shes being mature

Mature? Grandma scoffed. This is a heart thats dead!

She pointed a finger directly at Dads face.

Robert, do you remember when Cassidy was a child and you promised her the world? And now? You give the world to Delilah and treat Cassidy like like garbage!

Dads face flushed a deep red.

Mom, dont listen to gossip. I treat both my daughters equally.

Equally? Patsy shook with rage. The moment the fire broke out, you grabbed Delilah and ran! You left Cassidy trapped in the flames! You call that equal?

The living room fell silent.

I heard Lilas soft, whimpering cries.

Grandma, Im so sorry, its all my fault

You shut your mouth! Patsy roared at her. How many things have you stolen from Cassidy since you were a toddler? And now you wanted her life, too?

Lilas sobs grew louder.

Mom quickly put her arm around her.

Mom, watch what you say. Lila is your granddaughter too.

I dont recognize that one as mine, Grandma said, her face cold. I only claim Cassidy.

She came back into the utility closet and grabbed my hand.

Cassidy, youre coming with me. You are not staying here to be insulted.

I gently pulled my hand back.

Grandma, Im not going.

You

I really am fine. I cut her off. Please go home. I need to rest.

Grandma looked at me, the devastation in her eyes nearly overwhelming.

In the end, she said nothing more, just tucked the wad of cash under my pillow, and left.

The moment the door closed, I heard her crying outside.

It was a choked, desolate sound.

I closed my eyes and pulled the blanket over my head. Good. Now, the only person who had ever loved me had been pushed away by my own hands. No more weak spots.

In the days that followed, I became the most agreeable person in the Winters house.

Mom asked me to do the dishes; I did them.

Dad told me to mop the floor; I mopped it.

Lila saw a dress of mine she liked; I took it off and gave it to her.

She rooted through my jewelry box; I told her to take whatever she wanted.

One afternoon, Lila took my favorite necklace.

It was a delicate silver chain Grandma Patsy had given me for my eighteenth birthday.

Mom saw it and quietly said, Lila, thats your sisters birthday gift

Its okay, I said with a light, airy laugh. If Sis likes it, she should wear it. I barely use it anyway.

Lila held the necklace, struggling to suppress a triumphant smile.

But quickly, she dropped her eyes and put on her usual mask of practiced guilt.

Cassidy, are you are you really sure you dont mind?

Not at all.

She hesitated for a beat, then fastened the necklace around her neck.

That evening, I heard my parents talking in their room.

Cassidy has been completely abnormal lately, Mom said.

Abnormal how? I think its great, Dad scoffed, relieved. The old Cassidy, fighting with Lila every day. Now we finally have peace.

But Mom paused. The way she looks at us its strange. Theres no warmth, no daughterly affection. She looks at us like were absolute strangers.

Youre imagining things.

The next day, Lila took my design portfolio to her school.

It was the result of a months worka complete collection Id planned to submit to the prestigious Juniper Design Fellowship.

Shed found it while rummaging through my things, and her eyes had lit up.

Cassidy, did you draw this? Its incredible!

I nodded.

Can I can I borrow it? My school has a portfolio deadline, and Ive been completely blocked

Take it.

Lila paused, stunned.

Really? I can?

Yes.

She grabbed the portfolio and ran.

Mom had watched from the side, looking utterly conflicted.

Cassidy, that was your submission

Its fine. I can draw another one.

Mom opened her mouth, but ultimately said nothing.

A week later, Delilah won first place in her schools design competition.

She came home clutching the certificate, bursting with excitement as she showed it to our parents.

Mom, Dad, look! I won!

Dad was ecstatic.

Thats my girl! So talented!

Mom also smiled, relieved.

Lila, youre so wonderful.

Lila then looked over at me, a flicker of guilt in her eyes.

Cassidy, thank you

Dont mention it, I said. Im happy you won, Sis.

She bit her lip, then suddenly rushed over and hugged me.

Youre so good to me, little sister.

I said nothing, just patted her back gently. But in my mind, I thought, Dont worry, Sis. I have so much more goodness coming your way.

That night, my school principal called.

Someone had reported Lilas winning design as plagiarism.

My parents faces immediately went white.

They dragged Lila into the living room and tore into her.

How could you copy someone?!

Youve ruined the Winters name!

Lila was sobbing hysterically.

I didnt copy! It was Cassidy who gave it to me

Both my parents turned to me.

I stood up.

I gave it to her.

Why? Dad demanded.

Because I helped her create it, I said calmly. Thats what I told the Principal when they called.

The Principal had indeed called me earlier.

I had admitted, in front of the entire class, that the work was an assignment I had completed on behalf of my sister.

Id heard the cruel sneers behind me: The plagiarists little helper is just as trashy.

Everyone looked at me with contempt.

But I didn't care.

I didnt care about anything anymore.

My parents sighed in a collective relief.

You scared us to death. We thought it was real plagiarism.

Lila wiped her tears, looking at me.

The guilt in her eyes had just deepened into something heavier, and more agonizing.

The turning point came without warning.

My school offered me a special, early admission scholarship.

It was the Presidential Scholarship to the Parsons School of Design, the best design program in the country, and there was only one awarded each year.

The Principal called while I was mopping the floor in the kitchen.

Cassidy Winters, congratulations. Youve been selected.

I stood there, gripping the mop handle, frozen for a long moment.

Thank you, Principal.

I hung up and went back to scrubbing. The stains on the tile, like the dirt on my life for the last twenty years, just wouldnt scrub out.

Lila was standing on the stairs. Shed heard everything. Her face turned pale, her nails digging into her palms. But quickly, she dropped her gaze and loosened her grip.

That evening, she started to panic.

She slammed doors in her room, crying and yelling that it wasnt fair.

Why her? Why not me?!

Mom rushed in to comfort her.

Lila, honey, dont cry

I dont care! I want to go to that school! Mom, you have to help me

Mom came out, finding me standing outside the utility closet, her expression complicated.

Cassidy, honey, youve always been the sensible one. Your sister has her heart set on that school. I was wondering could you give her your scholarship spot?

I set the book I was holding down on the cot.

Sure.

Moms breath hitched.

You you agree?

Mm-hmm. I nodded. If Lila wants it, she should have it. I dont care either way.

Moms eyes lit up, but then a shadow of doubt crossed her face.

Cassidy, are you certain? Its a full scholarship, to Parsons

Im certain.

The next day, I went to school and signed the waiver.

The Principal was stunned.

Cassidy, do you understand what youre doing? This opportunity is one in a million

I understand. I held the pen, signing my name across the official document. But my sister needs it more than I do.

The Principal watched me, his expression heavy with disappointment.

You will regret this.

I smiled faintly.

No, I wont.

When I got home, Dad called me over.

He was sitting on the sofa, his posture rigid.

Cassidy, come here.

I walked toward him.

He stared at me for a long time, then suddenly asked:

Your sister said she wants you to drop out, get a job at the warehouse, and give her the $3,000 a month youd make to pay for her four years of college. Are you also willing to do that?

The air froze for a few seconds.

I nodded.

Yes. My voice was as calm and still as stagnant water. If you ask it of me, Ill go.

My fathers face instantly drained of color. He shot up from the sofa, his hands gripping my shoulders, his eyes bloodshot with sudden, raw terror. He roared, his voice thick with a guttural rasp:

Cassidy Winters, goddammit, go back to how you were! You cry! You scream! Where is the old you?!

I looked up at him.

I stared at him calmly.

Dad, did you forget?

My voice was a quiet whisper.

Three years ago, I argued with Lila over a cupcake, and you slapped me and said: If you could just be sensible and easy like your sister, this house would have peace.

My fathers hands fell away.

All the color had fled his face, leaving him utterly white.

I continued:

Im sensible now. Im doing exactly what you wished. Why why do you look so upset?

Dad stumbled backward two steps.

His mouth was open, but no sound came out. He stared at me, his breathing shallow and frantic, his eyes full of absolute dread.

Mom rushed out of the kitchen.

Whats wrong? What happened?

She looked at Dads terrified face, then at me.

Cassidy, what did you say to your father?

I didnt answer.

I turned and walked back into the utility closet.

Behind me, I heard my mothers rising shriek of panic.

Rob! What is it? Dont scare me like this