Forever a Carp in the Current

The day Silas Blackwood pulled me from Keelhaul Bays grimy fighting pit, I was in a thin top, laughing wildly. In my last life, I knew he had the wrong womanSeraphinabut I seized the chance to escape. He swept me away, treating me like a treasure in his gilded cage.

That ended when the real Seraphinas death certificate arrived. I became the focus of all his hatred. You lied. Because of you, Sera died out there. Ill make you suffer everything she did, tenfold.

He threw me into a cellar of his own making, inventing new torments each night: blades testing my flesh, bone-deep cold, degrading treatment from his men. He watched coldly, only calling a doctor to keep me alive.

Even the child I carried ten months, he tore away without hesitation. As steel sliced me open, he covered Seraphinas eyes with tenderness. In my final moment, I threw myself onto the surgeons blade.

When I opened my eyes again, I was backbeaten half to death, just as Silas rushed in. Sera is that you?

His hand, warm and gentle, brushed against my brow, but a chilling dread shot down my spine. I scrambled backward, away from his touch, and raked my nails across my forehead, desperate to destroy the very feature he recognized.

No! Youve got the wrong person!

Blood and tears streamed down my face, my fingernails caked with grime and skin. But he cupped my face in his hands, his touch impossibly careful, and lifted me into his arms.

Its okay, Sera, dont be scared, he murmured to his men. Were leaving this place. It doesnt matter if youve lost your memory. Ill get you the best doctors.

My body went rigid, a violent tremor shaking my entire frame. My mind went blank, a deafening roar filling my ears.

The next time I woke up, I was in Blackwood Manor.

The room, identical to the one from my last life, sent a jolt of pure terror through me. Ignoring the cast on my leg, I tumbled out of bed and crawled to the window. It wasn't until I saw the endless, rolling hills stretching out to the horizon that a choked sob finally broke from my throat, and I shattered.

Martha, the housekeeper, rushed in. Last time, she had been the one who cared for me so meticulously.

Miss? Whats wrong?

I grabbed her arm, my grip frantic. Im not Seraphina! Please, you have to tell him! You have to

But her expression was calm, placid. She gently helped me back into bed, tucking the blankets around me. Mr. Blackwood said you might be like this, Miss. He said you have amnesia. Its normal to be confused. Her voice was soothing, but it felt like a cage closing around me. You are the one he was looking for. Theres no mistake. Just rest and let us take care of you.

But I wasn't confused. I didn't have amnesia.

I curled into a ball, whispering the words over and over again like a prayer.

Im not her Im really not.

In the days that followed, Silas was a constant presence. Hed shed his sharp suits for soft casual wear, his face fixed in a look of doting affection. But when I looked into his eyes, I saw the same obsessive monster from my past life.

He pushed me out into the gardens in a wheelchair.

Look, Sera. I planted these roses for you. They were always your favorite.

He placed a single, perfect rose in my hand.

Do you remember? You cried and begged me to give you one just like this.

A tremor ran through me. I snatched my hand back and threw the rose, the flower striking him across the cheek and leaving a thin, bloody scratch.

Martha gasped and dropped to her knees. Sir! I Ill get the doctor right away

No need.

Silas waved her off, casually wiping the bead of blood away. It was my fault. I forgot to remove the thorns. I must have pricked her.

He bent down, picked up the rose, and patiently began snapping the thorns off one by one.

Watching his focused profile, a cold dread settled deep in my bones. In my last life, after he learned the truth, he forced me to kneel in this very rose garden.

Use your blood to dye them red, he had sneered. The color Seraphina loved most.

The feeling of thorns embedding themselves in my skin was a phantom pain I could never forget. I shivered. Desperate, I tried a new tactic, showing him the scars on my body that were mine alone, marks Seraphina never had.

Mr. Blackwood, look. Im really not her.

But he only traced the faded lines with a pained expression. Youve just forgotten. Anyone would be changed after escaping a place like that.

His touch was the spark that lit the fuse. A decade of torture flashed before my eyes. A scream ripped from my throat and I broke, scrambling to flee, only for his men to grab me and inject me with a sedative.

Sleep, Sera, he whispered, his brow furrowed in concern as the world went dark. Just sleep, and everything will be okay.

I didn't understand. This time, I had denied it from the very beginning. Why was he still so convinced, so utterly obsessed?

I began to push him, testing his limits, determined to make him see the truth.

He took me to a gala; I feigned a mad fit and humiliated him in front of everyone. His assistant paled, ready to drag me away, but Silas just tightened his grip on my hand, keeping me anchored to his side.

He hired a private chef; I refused to eat. He never forced me, simply leaving the food outside my door. When hunger finally drove me to sneak out in the dead of night, I found the meal was still perfectly warm.

He brewed bitter medicine for me with his own hands, practically begging me to take a sip. I smiled, then deliberately knocked the bowl from his hands, scalding his chest and arms. As I braced for the blow I knew was coming, he simply turned and began picking up the porcelain shards.

Its alright, Sera. It was probably too bitter. Ill go make another batch.

A sharp edge cut his finger. The bright red blood stood out, stark against the white porcelain. A strange pang of sorrow twisted in my chest.

Silas was even gentler than he had been in our first life.

But I couldn't let myself be fooled. His gentleness now was a terrifying omen. I couldnt begin to imagine the hell that would await me when the news of the real Seraphinas death finally reached him.

A month later, I learned Silas was away on business. That night, under the cloak of darkness, I made my escape, heading for the small, dense wood on the southern edge of the estate.

There was a hidden exit there.

In my last life, Silas used to throw me into that forest to fight for my life against wild animals. As I would lie broken and bleeding, crying for mercy, he would stand over me, his shoe pressing on my shattered limbs.

Do you think Seraphina was any less helpless in the Triangle? hed ask.

I spent six months in that forest, teetering on the edge of sanity, before I stumbled upon that hidden gate. I thought I was finally free. But they dragged me back. I can still feel the memory of Silass fingers closing around my throat, his voice a low growl. You will never escape me.

The memory made my legs tremble, but I forced myself to keep moving. I didnt stop until my crutch caught on a loose stone, sending me sprawling.

The sudden, absolute silence was terrifying.

My blood ran cold. Instinct took over and I started clawing my way toward the nearest tree, but it was too late.

A tiger's roar ripped through the air, so close I could smell the rot of its last meal on its breath. I squeezed my eyes shut, bracing for the tearing of claws and teeth.

But the pain never came.

When I opened my eyes, Silas was standing in front of me, his left shoulder clamped firmly in the tigers jaws.

He didnt even glance at the wound. His eyes, intense and searching, were locked on me.

How did you know about this path?

I froze, the world narrowing to his question. Tears, hot and real, welled up and streamed down my face. I collapsed into a heap of sobs.

I was trying to find you, I wailed, letting my body tremble as if from sheer terror. I dont know how I ended up here

His grip on my arm slowly loosened. Im being paranoid, he murmured, his voice dropping low. How could a cripple possibly know the most dangerous and hidden path on the estate?

He shielded me with his body, lifting me into his arms and carrying me all the way back to the manor.

There was no escape. So, I decided to play the part. If he wanted me to be Seraphina, then fine. Hed find out the truth eventually, one way or another. I had done everything I could.

I started eating again. I stopped fighting him. Whatever he thought his Seraphina should do, I did it.

But this Silas was different from the last. He didnt force me to learn the piano or play chess. Instead, he was always asking me what I wanted.

Who was I?

Was I his Seraphina, or was I myself?

I stopped resisting his kindness, but I never once smiled at him. I spent my days on the balcony, my gaze lost on a distant patch of sky. The staff grew accustomed to my silence. Only Martha would sigh sometimes, saying I was like a beautiful doll that had lost its soul.

One afternoon, we were playing chess. I stared at my white piece, trapped and surrounded by his black ones, and a single tear rolled down my cheek.

Silas.

He looked up, startled by my sudden emotion, and quickly came to my side. Sera, what is it? Tell me.

Im really not Seraphina, I said, my voice hollow. Youre going to regret this.

He stared at me for a long moment. You just have amnesia, Sera. Its okay.

I knew he would say that. A bitter smile touched my lips. I want to go to the San Varcas Triangle. I want to save the people trapped there, the people who are just like I was.

The hand he was using to place a piece on the board paused. I looked at the black stone in his fingers and thought of the Seraphina who had died there in my last life. Her body, mangled beyond recognition in the news photos. When the coroners report landed in Silass hands, he had looked at me as if he wanted to skin me alive.

If, in this life, I could rescue her first maybe he wouldnt hate me so much.

He finally spoke, his voice quiet but firm.

Okay.

I went there. He took me straight to the most secluded cellar in the compound.

The room was dim, but I could make out the grotesque shape of a heavyset man, his face a roadmap of scars, grunting and thrusting on the bed. My heart leaped into my throat and a scream tore from my lips before I could stop it.

Stop! Get off her!

Like a woman possessed, I swung my crutch, bringing it down hard on the mans head. He crumpled to the floor, unconscious and bleeding.

On the bed, a young woman stared back at me, her eyes wide with shock.

It was Seraphina.

Her body was a canvas of bruises, a ring of circular cigarette burns scarring the skin around her waist. But her limbs were intact. She wasnt the broken wreck from the photographs.

I had made it in time.

Seraphinas gaze shifted past me to the man standing in the doorway, and a light ignited in her eyes. Si Silas?

I lowered my head and stepped aside, leaving the two of them to their reunion. But as I turned to leave, his hand shot out and clamped around my wrist.

Where are you going?

I looked at him, confused. His expression was as cool and distant as ever. This wasnt the emotional reunion I had pictured. I expected his eyes to well with tears, for him to rush to her side, to break down.

He did none of those things.

I I wont disturb you

He didnt answer. The pressure on my wrist just tightened.

Were going home.

He led me out, not once looking back.

On the plane, Silas kept his eyes closed, but the deep furrow in his brow told me he was awake.

I whispered, my voice barely audible, Silas, Ive given Seraphina back to you

He remained silent, the line between his brows deepening.

When we returned to the manor, Martha was there to greet us. She stopped short when she saw Seraphina, her eyes flicking between the two of us.

Miss?

There are two of them now, Silas said flatly. He gestured to Seraphina. Prepare a guest room for her. Then he pointed at me, his tone leaving no room for argument. She stays in her old room.

Martha nodded and led a bewildered Seraphina away.

Silass expression was dark, unreadable. I sat silently in my wheelchair, bracing for the storm I knew was coming.

Instead, his voice came out quiet, measured. You knew the real Seraphina was in the Triangle all along, didnt you?

He knelt before me, tilting my chin up so I was forced to meet his gaze. His eyes were sharp, analytical, searching for something.

My people searched for six months and couldnt find a single trace of her. How did you find her the moment you arrived?

My breath hitched. I opened my mouth, but no explanation came.

He leaned closer, his warm breath ghosting across my cheek.

Aria are you reborn, too?