Bloodbound No More: How burning our pact drove my vampire master insane

1
On the seventh year of my blood bond with the vampire, the curse flared. My master, Silas, was nowhere to be found.
He didn't return until midnight, carrying an unconscious woman in his arms.
He ignored me, curled in agony on my bed, and immediately carried the woman to his room, his voice tight with urgency as he called for the old butler.
"Quick, check on her! See if she's alright!"
The butler, Alfred, tried to plead on my behalf, but Silas cut him off, his voice sharp with impatience.
"I'm in no mood to feed from her right now! She just needs to ride it out. It's not like she's going to die."
My last hope shattered. I gritted my teeth, drew a blade across my own skin, and let the blood flow, my only means of saving myself.
After what felt like an eternity of wracking convulsions, the curse finally subsided.
I lay in a pool of my own blood, my consciousness fading. With the last of my strength, I sent out a mental message.
"I accept your offer. Within three days, I will break my bond with him and bind myself to you."
When I awoke the next day, my wounds were bandaged. The thick, metallic scent of blood was gone, replaced by the faint, lingering smell of smoke. Alfred had helped me.
A wave of dizziness washed over me as I struggled to sit up. I pulled on a coat to hide the patchwork of injuries and went to thank him.
I ran into Silas the moment I stepped out of my room.
He looked me over, his eyes cool and distant. Seeing nothing out of the ordinary, he gave a curt command. "Prepare a meal for me."
I nodded, another wave of dizziness forcing me to brace myself against the wall. Silas had already turned away.
Following my usual routine, I prepared a bowl of animal blood and brought it to his room.
The woman from the night before was lying on his bed.
I averted my gaze and approached. But Silas only glanced at the bowl before his brow furrowed in disgust. With a sweep of his hand, he sent it crashing to the floor, splattering my coat with blood.
"What are you doing? Get that out of here!" he hissed, his voice low.
The noise, however, was enough to wake the woman.
Silas was instantly at her side, his voice soft with concern as he asked if she was feeling alright.
She seemed fine, but her stomach rumbled, and she let out an embarrassed little laugh.
Silas's features softened. He gently pinched her cheek, then turned to me, his voice once again sharp. "Hurry up and prepare a proper meal."
It was only then that I understood. The woman he had brought back was not a vampire. She was human, like me.
I backed out of the room silently, but I could hear their conversation through the door.
"Is she a vampire, like you?" a sweet voice—I now knew it as Cobie's—asked, her tone laced with curiosity.
"No," Silas replied. "She's just my blood servant."
"Because of our blood bond, I can only drink her blood. So you don't have to worry. I would never harm you."
The bond between a human and a vampire was meant to last five years. I should have left long ago, but I had stayed for him, willingly.
In his eyes, I was, and always had been, nothing more than a living blood bag. It had all been my own foolish delusion.
I moved numbly back to the kitchen, stripped off my stained coat, removed the damp, sticky gauze from my wounds, and began to prepare a human meal.
I heard footsteps behind me. The scent of my blood had drawn Silas. "Why is the smell so strong?" he asked.
Then he saw the gruesome cuts on my arms.
He grabbed me, his eyes a complex mixture of emotions. "Did you... do this to yourself last night?"
When the curse takes hold, only the master feeding from the servant can break it. Otherwise, the servant must make seven deep cuts to bleed themselves out. The lucky ones survive. The unlucky ones die from shock.
I was one of the lucky ones. Just as he'd said, I had ridden it out. I hadn't died.
The only thing that had died was my foolish hope for him.
I pulled my arm away. "It's nothing," I said, my voice flat.
My detached tone made his eyes go cold. "You're blaming me for not saving you."
"I wouldn't dare."
He stopped me from washing the vegetables, turning off the faucet. "Don't get the wounds wet. Stop."
That same commanding tone. I stubbornly refused to let go.
After a few seconds of tense silence, he scoffed. "Do whatever you want."
He turned to leave, but paused after a few steps. "Next time," he said, his voice low, "I'll save you."
I didn't answer. Because there wasn't going to be a next time.
The castle was as dim as ever, lit only by a few scattered candelabras. I went around lighting them, checking the blackout curtains. Even a sliver of the harsh light from outside was jarring.

2
I had been here so long I was used to the darkness. But Cobie, clearly, was not. She told Silas she wanted to go outside, to feel the sun on her skin.
Silas’s eyes softened with affection. "Of course," he said.
Years ago, when I first arrived, I had made a similar request. He had sternly reminded me that vampires couldn't be in the sun, that following the rules was the only way to survive in this world.
Reading his moods had become a survival instinct. I never asked again.
It seemed now that it wasn't about the rules, but about who was asking.
Cobie pulled Silas over to me, a bright smile on her face. "Do you want to come with us?"
I was taken aback for a moment, then lowered my head. "I'll stay here and prepare your meals."
My refusal made her smile falter, a flicker of disappointment crossing her face. Silas noticed her change in mood and turned to me, his tone leaving no room for argument.
"You're coming too. Just pack up the food and bring it with you."
I looked up at him, the candlelight flickering across my emotionless face. He finally seemed to notice my bloodless lips, and his tone softened slightly.
"You're injured. You don't need to provide blood for a while. Just prepare animal blood for me."
Cobie enthusiastically grabbed the hand holding the candle, her warmth a startling contrast to my usual cold existence. "Come with us! You must not have seen the sun in ages!"
The warmth of another human's touch after so long was disorienting. I didn't notice the hot wax dripping from the candle.
Silas's eyes flashed, and he quickly pulled her hand away.
A sharp pain shot through my fingers. I glanced at their intertwined hands, then silently switched the candle to my other hand.
"I'll go get things ready," I said.
After running my burn under cold water, I marked a circle on the calendar. Three more circles, and my blood bond would be complete. I would have one chance to break it.
I packed the food and opened the main doors. Sunlight flooded in. My first instinct, after years in the gloom, was to recoil.
But Silas, clad in a black robe, let Cobie pull him outside.
I took a tentative step behind them, mustering the courage to step into the long-forgotten light. As the warmth touched my skin, an unexpected urge to cry washed over me.
My gaze, as always, sought him out. I saw Cobie stand on her tiptoes.
"Can I see your fangs?" she asked, her healthy, vibrant figure a stark contrast to my own frail form. Her smile was full of life.
Silas steadied her, pulling back the hood of his robe. He smiled gently, his pupils narrowing as he revealed his two sharp, vampiric fangs.
He wasn't worried about attacking her. My presence, my bond, ensured her safety.
In a forgotten corner, I took two steps back, retreating into the shadows. I hid my sallow hair and gaunt hands in the darkness.
As the sun began to set, my shift at the junction station approaching, I finally stepped out and told them I had to leave.
Silas seemed surprised that I had been there all along. He opened his mouth to say something, but Cobie spoke first.
"I should be going too. Will you walk me home?"
Of course, he would. But then he turned to me. "I'll walk you as well."
The junction station, a transit point between the human and vampire worlds, was where I worked my second job, a nightly patrol. In all my years here, Silas had never offered to see me off.
I was tired. I refused his sudden whim. "There's no need. You should take Miss Cobie home."
He sensed my mood and took a step closer, insisting, "I'll walk you."
Cobie watched our interaction, a flicker of understanding in her eyes. She tightened her grip on Silas's arm. "If it's on the way, you should come with us," she said to me. "I hear you've known Silas for a long time. I'd love to hear some stories about him."
Her words were a subtle, defensive wall.
Silas patted her hand, clearly pleased by her possessiveness.
I didn't know him, not really. The man he was with her was a stranger to me. But I stopped resisting. I gave a servant's bow. "Then I thank you, Master, Miss."
When I straightened, my eyes met his dark, intense gaze. I was just doing as he had always treated me—as a servant. Though, he had never actually required me to bow before.

3
When we arrived at the junction station, I was about to head to the staff room when Silas grabbed my arm.
"Wait for me. I'll take you back when I'm done."
Done? Would he be coming back tonight?
I didn't ask. Cobie's eyes were fixed on his hand on my arm.
My pager buzzed. My colleague was looking for me. I gave a quick nod and hurried away.

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