The Death Certificate She Wrote for Herself

The night before the wedding, my sister brought me Bella's death certificate. A climbing accident in the remote Alaskan interior. Survival rate: negligible.
I shredded the paper. I flew out alone. I went to the Yukon and shredded myself, too. I battled altitude sickness, pulmonary edema, and the kind of isolation that makes you think you're going mad. I faced down a pack of wolves, lost, staggering, all for a shadow on a horizon that held no one.
Three years later, I came backhair matted, skin like leather, a man aged a decade. All Id found was her ID tag, buried in the permafrost.
I passed a trendy bistro, and there she was. Not a ghost. Bella Keller, draped in a custom gown, laughing with Amelia, my own sister.
Finn OConnell, her junior, gave a soft, practiced laugh. Thanks, ladies. Just because Cas said one harsh thing to me, you two went this far to back me up? And right before you were supposed to marry him, Bella.
Bella smiled, the kind of indulgent, maternal smile I used to love. Youre our only one, Finn. You work so hard on those rescue missions, and Caspian had the nerve to call you irresponsible. This whole thing? Itll humble him. Do him some good, really.
But hes not actually hurt, is he? Cas?
No, my people are looking out for him, she assured him, a dismissive wave of her hand. Hell be fine. Well get married eventually. Its what he wants most. The hardship he endured in the Yukon? Hell forget it. Its insignificant.
A draft blew through my empty right pant leg.
The System cut in, its voice a hollow hum. [Target has agreed to marry. Mission accomplished. You may redeem one wish, guaranteed. Redeem now, Host?]
A single, raw tear carved a clean path down my dirt-caked cheek. Then let her, I whispered, the words catching in my throat, let her truly die in the Yukon.
[Wish received, timeline being replanned...]
Through the bistro window, Bella answered a call.
Another climber is missing in the interior? I saw her lips move. Right. Ill mobilize our team immediately.
I knew the Systems will was already at work.
And any word on my fianc lately? she asked the caller. Hes volatile. He must have been frantic when he thought Id vanished. Its been three years, but keep an eye out for him.
She turned. And her eyeseyes that hadn't seen a real struggle in yearsmet mine through the glass. Her lips formed two words: Later. Talk.
Bella and Mia burst out.
Cas? God, what have you done to yourself? Bella reached up, her fingers grazing my rough, cracked cheeka face that, three years ago, was only concerned with a clean shave for our wedding.
Mia grabbed a single, broken strand of my hair, her eyes wide with shock. You you have gray in your beard?
I was dragged into a high-end salon.
The stylist tutted, struggling to work a brush through the mess. How long has it been since you washed this? And for a young man, your skin is so rough.
Mia and Bella exchanged a look in the mirror. Both quickly averted their gaze.
The stylist glanced at Finn OConnell, who stood by the door, observing. But this gentleman is immaculate. Obviously a trust fund baby, no expense spared.
I gave a harsh, internal laugh. Of course he was immaculate. Bella looked after him. I remembered catching Finn three years ago, teasing her to use her expensive moisturizer. She'd pretend to scold him while meticulously applying the lotion to his face with her own hands.
Id snatched the jar away and dressed Finn down for his immaturity. Bella had smoothed things over, that same indulgent smile fixed on her face. Finn had a rough childhood, Cas. No one to look out for him. He sees us as family in the squad. Dont be like this.
Id pushed back, the pain sharp and immediate. A fianc is family, Bella! More than a junior teammate! When have you ever fussed over my skin like that? Shed frozen. Finn had stomped off and vanished for a month. Bella never mentioned it again, even before her "rescue mission" to the Yukon, when shed held me tight and promised me forever.
Id thought it was over. But I saw it now. It was never over. It was the start of the plan. A cruel, calculated plan to punish me. And my sister, Amelia, delivered the weapon. I remembered Mias whispered words through the glass: It had to be me. Cas trusts me more than anyone. It makes the illusion perfect.
I stood up. Hair half-cut, a mess of tangled frustration. I walked out.
Bellas hand grabbed my arm. Where are you going?
You just got an emergency call, didnt you? I said, shaking her off. I wouldn't want to hold up the great rescuer.
A flicker of what looked like genuine pain crossed her face, her eyes welling up. No, Cas, wait. Tomorrow is your birthday. You forgot, didn't you? I can speed through the rescue trip. I won't miss it. Amelias gaze softened too, a sliver of sisterly concern. Let us do this one thing for you, Cas. Let us celebrate.
I didn't refuse. What did it matter? I knew my next destination, too. Early or late, the destination was the same.
I turned to leave fully. In the reflection, behind Mias shoulder, I saw Finn O'Connell. His eyes were cold, calculating. Not the injured junior at all.
The birthday party was lavish, an absurd spectacle. I felt like a museum piece, pulled onto a gilded stage. The warmth and smiles of the guests were a physical shock after three years of wilderness. My throat tightened.
Before I could even speak, the main doors burst open. Finn OConnell stumbled in, covered in blood, his expensive clothes shredded, collapsing in front of the horrified crowd.
Mr. Thorne, he wailed, his voice breaking. I promised Id leave the two women alone! Why are you still trying to ruin me!
The Happy Birthday chorus died instantly. Bella and Mia lunged for him. One held him; the other ripped off her jacket to press against his wounds. Seeing the deep gashes, Mia's face contorted with fury.
Caspian Thorne! What in Gods name did you do?!
The guests gasped, their disbelief a palpable wave. Those cuts theyre terrible. Mr. Thorne just returned, and this is what he does? His parents, God rest their souls, must be heartbroken watching this!
Bella glared at me, her teeth grinding. I told you! I was rescued by a local guide! We spent these years searching for you! We didnt keep my survival a secret, and Finn had nothing to do with it! Whatever you have against me, come after me! Attacking an innocent man is monstrous!
Finn crawled forward on his knees, a perfect picture of beaten puppy-dog remorse. Mr. Thorne, I swear, I have no improper feelings for the ladies. I was abandoned as a child, starving for affection. Im sorry. I promise Ill never see them again. Why are you trying to destroy me?
Bella and Mia sucked in a breath at the mention of him leaving.
I looked down at the pathetic creature kneeling at my feet. You havent changed at all, Finn. Youre still a performance artist.
Caspian Thorne!
Bellas hand shot out, grabbing my throat and slamming me against the wall. She pointed at Finns wounds. Who fakes injuries like this?! We told you we didn't fake my death to hurt you! Why are you so relentless? Have you lost all decency? Did three years in the wilderness strip you of your humanity? Maybe you need three more to learn some manners!
Mia stepped in, her voice cold. You will either apologize to Finn, sign a statement guaranteeing you'll never harass him or try to force him out. Or, you take the same injuries he has.
The hand left my throat. I doubled over, gasping for air. The pulmonary edema I'd developedand barely survivedin the Yukon was better, but the damage was permanent. The irony.
Stop the dramatics, Cas. We had a network watching you. You were never in actual danger.
Bella thrust a pen and paper at me. Sign the confession. I braced my shaking frame, took the penand snapped it clean in half.
No need, I choked out. Ill take the second option.
Bella and Mia flinched. You want to be injured? Are you insane?
The next moment, I reached down, unbuckled the socket, and detached my own right leg. I placed the prosthetic on the table with a dull thud, fighting for breath.
One leg, I rasped. Is that enough?
Cas! Amelia screamed, her hands flying to her mouth.
If not, I continued, my voice gaining a terrible clarity, how about an eye? I reached up and pulled out my left eyeball. A glass prosthetic. The first time I met the pack, the fire failed, and the alpha ripped out the original.
Cas! Bella's voice was a ragged whisper.
I clutched my chest. My lips were turning blue from the edema. I collapsed to the floor.
How how is this possible! Bella knelt instantly, clutching my arm, trembling violently. I had people watching you! I told them to protect you! Why did they let this happen!
Before the blackness took me, I registered one thing: Finn OConnell, the pathetic, injured victim, flinched when Bella said shed had me 'protected.' His eyes flickered away.
I woke up in a sterile room. Bella was by my side, clutching my hand. Its settled, Cas. It was a misunderstanding. Finn was attacked by thugs and thought you hired them.
I stared at her, waiting for the inevitable apology, the remorse. Instead, she sighed. Don't blame him. If you hadnt always been so aggressive toward him, he wouldn't have jumped to conclusions.
Bella My voice was a choked sound. Its over? All that suffering? Just dismissed as a misunderstanding?
Cas! She gently pressed me back against the pillows. Her voice softened, now a practiced coo. Lets get married. Now.
I froze. She traced the empty socket of my eye, her own eyes instantly glossy. Ive pushed my rescue trip back two days. Cas, I am so sorry I let you suffer. I will be your wife, and I will spend my life making it up to you. She pressed my hands between hers. Finn is just a teammate, a brother. If I had known you would be hurt this badly, I would have let him suffer instead.
Bella Finns small, wounded voice came from the doorway.
Bella tensed. She snapped her head toward him. Get out.
Bella!
Get out! Her brow furrowed. Im speaking to my fianc. It has nothing to do with you.
Mia, still at the foot of the bed, looked surprised. Bella
Get out!
Finns eyes were instantly red. Just like three years ago, when Id first scolded him, he spun around and left. Mia watched him go, shaking her head with a sigh, but she didnt follow him.
Marry me, Cas? she pleaded.
I looked out the window, a cold smile lifting the corner of my mouth. Yes, I whispered. Fine. She would die anyway, fulfilling the wish. And I would get half her estate in the real world.
A single tear, hot and heavy, tracked down my cheek. Bella. You forced my hand. You promised me. You would never lie to me. And if you did, you deserved to die. You lied once. I wont let you have a second chance.
She didn't wait. The news of our upcoming weddingCaspian Thorne, the high-profile philanthropist, and Bella Keller, the heroic rescue captainwas plastered everywhere, dominating social media.
The buzz didn't last. It was quickly buried by another headline: Bella KELLERS JUNIOR CO-WORKER: THE SECRET BOYFRIEND? The article detailed how Finn OConnell allegedly pursued his married captain, sharing water bottles on missions, and how she applied his skincare products herself, all with photographic evidence.
I blinked. I was the only one who knew those specific details. How had this leaked?
The door slammed open. Bella stood there, spitting mad, a stack of the incriminating photos fluttering to the floor.
Why are you doing this to him?! He had a terrible childhood, hes sensitive! If Mia and I hadnt intervened, he would have killed himself!
Behind her, Finn was a mass of red eyes and tears, being cradled by Amelia. Mr. Thorne, I only see the ladies as sisters! Im sorry! Im avoiding them! Why must you destroy me?
The pieces clicked. Finn had staged the whole media leak himself to provoke this exact reaction.
Bella was frantic. The media storm is out of control! Finn might be clueless about boundaries, but hes worked hard to be where he is! You can't just ruin an innocent person! Look at you, Cas!
I fought the urge to point out that they were the ones who pulled strings to get him into the squad. I just stared. So whats the solution? Do you want me to be pilloried by the media too?
Yes, she said, the word a flat stone. I flinched. The only way to kill this scandalsince it originated because of youis for me to marry Finn. A public, fast wedding to show he isn't a homewrecker.
I thought I misheard her. Her eyes slid past my empty socket. A brief, fleeting moment of guilt. She softened her tone. Well still legally marry, Cas. Me and you. After I get back from the Yukon. But for now, we have to save Finn. Don't worry, I won't actually sign the papers with him.
I fought for air, controlling the pulmonary strain. Bella, do you remember the promise you made to me?
She paused. Avoided my gaze. She turned her back. I said Id marry you when I get back, Cas. I wont lie to you.
Mia looked at me, her expression a mix of pity and annoyance. Youre really testing my patience, Cas.
The two women shielded Finn and left. I watched Bellas retreating back. My smile was a mask of coldness, but a tear slipped from my eye. Bella. You promised me. If I lie, may I die a terrible death. You lied once. I wont let you have a second chance.
The day before the "wedding," Bella went to a quiet, gothic cathedral downtown. She looked up at the stained-glass image of Christ. She wasn't religious. But she'd felt compelled to stop. The sorrowful figure looked down on her white gown.
She whispered: I am guilty. I deceived a man I truly love, Cas, and he suffered damage I never intended. But I had to do it. The other manFinnis innocent and vulnerable. I promised him my support. My sin was negligence, allowing a lesson to become a life-changing agony for my fianc. I vow to spend my life atoning. Lord, forgive me.
A limping man entered the quiet space. Dragging my new prosthetic, I stood where Bella had been. It was strange. I was no believer, but Id felt a pull, too.
I suppose I am also guilty, I said, the words echoing off the stone. I am about to cause a death. The death of my fiance. I wished for her demise in the Alaskan wilderness. I once loved her deeply. Perhaps judging her sin is not my right. But I choose this anyway. She made the vow herself: If I lie, may I die a terrible death. If you called me here, Lord, I have only this to say: I will not recant. I will not regret. Lord, don't forgive me.
I turned. The tap-tap of my shoe and the thud of the prosthetic were loud on the marble.
I skipped the staged wedding. I only went to see Bella off as she left for her rescue trip. Finn came up, eyes red, but she ignored him, looking only at me.
Cas, a private goodbye?
Finn shot me a murderous glare. Her SUV stopped just before the freeway entrance. She got out and held me in a desperate, hard embrace.
Im sorry, Cas. When I get back, Im never leaving you again.
I know, I said, patting her back, cutting her off. The wedding with Finn is a facade. I never wanted a life with anyone but you
I know, I repeated, interrupting her again. Go.
She walked toward the SUV, turning back to look at me three times, her face a mask of regret. As her car passed through the toll plaza, a tear slipped down my face, unnoticed by her.
Goodbye, Bella. No. Farewell.

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