My Husband Does Not Know I Am Dead
Just like that, a Principal Dancer was reduced to a prisoner in a chair.
I tore up all my leotards and costumes, hurling every medal against the wall until the plaster cracked.
My son, Sam, clung to the wheel of my chair, sobbing.
Its my fault, Mom.
Please, Mom, yell at me, hit me, but stop doing this to yourself, okay?
I tried to slit my wrists with a pair of manicure scissors once. My husband, Rhys, pinned me down, his face pale and desperate.
If you leave, what about Sam and me?
After that, Sam brought me water, fed me, and told me about his school day, sitting right next to my chair the moment he got home.
Rhys massaged my stiff legs every night and brewed traditional herbal soups until late.
I learned to hoist myself up using my arms, leaning on the table, and slowly, the wheelchair became my legs.
I thought this was my second chance at life.
Until that day. The day I heard them talking, father and son.
Im turning into a full-time nursemaid, serving her every day! The kids at school laugh that I have a paralyzed hag for a mother.
Rhys sighed, his voice heavy with agreement.
Shes dragging us down every single day. Honestly, it might have been better if she had just died back then.
If she had died, you wouldnt be weighed down by guilt and shame, and I wouldnt have to waste my life away in this endless, miserable routine.
I wiped my dry eyes and wheeled myself onto the balcony.
1
In the few seconds of my fall from the twenty-second floor, I was back on stage.
Spinning. Leaping. The perfect landing.
The wind roared past my ears, sounding exactly like the audiences thunderous applause.
My soul slowly drifted upward, then floated back to the balcony.
The wheelchair that had been my constant companion for eight years stood empty.
The house was quiet, too quiet.
Both bedroom doors were closed, just like every day for the past eight years.
Sam said he needed his own space.
Rhys said I shouldnt make every corner of the house feel so oppressive.
So, behind those closed doors were worlds that belonged exclusively to them.
I understood. I never intruded.
But now, I was dead.
I just wanted to see Sam one last time. Just a glimpse.
With no physical barrier, I glided right through the door.
Sam was looking at his phone, a slight smile on his lips, a look of unburdened ease I hadnt seen in ages.
He was video chatting with a friend. He looked happy.
Is your mom really a Principal Dancer? Thats so cool!
Sams smile froze.
The pretty lady who picks you up sometimes? She has such great style.
Sams eyes darkened, and he nodded.
Since the accident, I hadn't been able to take him to or from school.
It had always been Rhyss executive assistant, Kinsley Tate.
A sharp pang of hurt hit me, but I immediately dismissed it.
If Kinsley Tate could step in and be a competent wife and mother in my place, perhaps it would be better for everyone.
Sam ended the call and opened his notebook.
I really wish Ms. Tate was my mom.
Tears blurred the ink on the page.
I reached out to stroke his hair, but my palm passed right through him.
Oh, you poor, foolish child. Your wish is about to come true.
Now, you wont have to feel ashamed of having a crippled mother.
You wont have to live with guilt and self-blame forever.
From now on, you can proudly tell the world that your mother is wonderful and beautiful.
The bond between a mother and son must be real; he seemed to sense something, whispering softly.
Mom, Im sorry.
I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, holding him tight.
Its okay, sweetheart. This isnt your fault. This was my choice.
From the moment I ran onto the street to save you, I never once regretted it.
Floating out of Sams room, I saw the light on in the master bedroom.
Rhys was working, a stack of files on his desk.
Since my paralysis, hed been working mostly from home.
People at the company whispered that I was his burden, the anchor dragging him down.
But he never gave up on me during my darkest days; he endured for eight years.
He was tired. It was time to give him his freedom back.
I gently traced the lines around his eyes, wanting to smooth away his frown.
His phone buzzed. It was Kinsley.
Rhys, Sera Miller is your obligation, not your love.
But can you be true to yourself tonight?
He paused.
Its my birthday.
He stared at the screen for a long time, then finally typed a single word: Okay.
He stood up, quickly tidied his jacket.
As he reached the door, he glanced toward the balcony.
Sera, I have an emergency at the office. Ill be back late.
I wasnt overly sad.
Over the past eight years, I had grown accustomed to Kinsleys presence in his life.
In my secret heart, I had already designated her as my husbands future wife and my sons future mother.
2
I followed Rhys to "The Starlight Room."
It was the first upscale restaurant Rhys had ever taken me to.
Back then, we were broke, scrambling to build our careers.
He spent half a months salary on that one dinner.
Hed said, Sera, one day Ill bring you here every night.
He kept his word. Once things improved, we did come here often.
Now that I was gone, he was starting a new life. No one should live in the past.
The time he spent with me was hard enough.
I hoped his future would be a little sweeter.
He waited a long time, but Kinsley never showed.
A while later, his phone vibrated again.
After he answered, Rhys looked frantic. He said a few rushed words and sped off toward the hospital.
Kinsley was injured.
A fractured left leg.
I breathed a sigh of relief. Thank goodness it wasnt like me.
Rhys.
I shouldnt have come near you. I shouldnt have been foolish enough to hope. Lets not see each other again.
Kinsley was a mess of tears.
Rhys gently soothed her.
What happened?
Kinsley choked out the words.
It was... it was your wife.
She must have seen the messages I sent you. She found me and said this was just a warning. If there was a next time
...she said shed kill me!
Rhys, what am I going to do? Please, can you protect me? All I wanted was to be near you.
I froze.
I had never met Kinsley Tate, let alone threatened her.
Why was she lying?
I stared at Rhys, still clinging to a sliver of hope.
I thought, based on how well he knew me, he wouldn't possibly believe this lie.
But he disappointed me.
A vicious, hateful glarea look Id never seen directed at meflashed in his eyes.
After calming her down, he left the room and called my phone over and over.
Of course, the calls never went through.
He opened our messaging app and sent a voice note.
Sera Miller! Havent you caused enough chaos?! Ive tolerated you for eight yearseight years of nursing you while you were paralyzed! Isn't that enough?! How dare you be so wicked as to attack Kinsley!
How can you be so venomous? I must have been blind to marry you! Youre nothing but dead weight, a burden on everyone!
Every word was a stake through the heart.
If I were still alive, I couldnt imagine the pain of hearing that.
But thankfully, I was dead. The dead don't feel heartache.
It was better this way. If he hated me, he could move on from the past faster.
Rhys returned to Kinsleys bedside and held her tight.
He didn't come home that night.
The morning light streamed through the balcony glass, illuminating the empty wheelchair.
Sam saw the wheelchair and let out a sigh of irritation.
Mom, why are you up so early?
No one answered.
He clicked his tongue in annoyance.
Sulking again. So annoying.
On the dining table were warm milk and a fried egg.
Hed learned to make breakfast two years ago. I had felt so proud and sad at the same time.
Its a shame Mom will never taste her sons breakfast again.
I followed Sam downstairs.
A crowd had gathered near the complex entrance, completely blocking the way.
Through the gaps, I faintly saw a pool of fresh, bright red blood.
I immediately positioned myself in front of Sam.
I was terrified he would see my corpse and be traumatized.
Thankfully, he only glanced once, then quickly averted his gaze.
I sighed with relief and shielded him until we reached the gate.
A gust of wind swept past my ear, and he muttered under his breath:
I wish it had been her who died.
My non-existent heart lurched, then settled into calm acceptance.
Son, your wish has already come true.
I only hope you wont be too sad later.
3
An unseen force pulled me toward Rhys.
He and Kinsley were having a moment when his phone rang at the worst possible time.
Mr. Montgomery, a female resident jumped from her apartment last night. The description matches your registered family information. Could you please confirm?
Rhyss mind went blank.
He remembered the unanswered calls yesterday and the string of vicious words he'd left on my voicemail. A wave of terror washed over him.
He immediately called Sam.
Sam, is your mother home today?
Yeah, she is. Shes throwing a fit about something, as usual!
Rhyss body instantly relaxed.
He let out a long breath, a self-mocking smile twisting his lips.
Of course. Sera Miller was too strong, too dramatic, and too much of a fixture to ever actually kill herself.
He returned to normal.
Sam, I have something to tell you. Im going to divorce your mother.
Really?!
Dad, you finally came to your senses! I support this one hundred percent! Marry Kinsley right away. Mom has dragged us down long enough. I dont want her holding you back anymore.
Rhys was silent for a moment.
After the divorce, I was planning to send your mother to a nice private estate in France, and you would stay here with me.
The wild joy on the other end of the line stopped dead.
After a moment of silence, Sam spoke again.
Dad, you dont have to carry any moral burden. As a husband, youve done more than enough. But Mom is paralyzed because she saved me. I cant abandon her. If she goes to France, I have to go with her.
I hadnt expected Sam to say that.
I thought he hated me, truly hated me.
Rhys was stunned.
Sam, you dont need to put so much pressure on yourself. You
Aah!
A piercing scream erupted from the hospital room.
Rhys immediately hung up and rushed back in.
A water glass lay shattered on the floor, water and glass shards scattered everywhere.
Kinsley looked terrified.
I I just lost my grip. I dropped it accidentally.
Rhys carefully lifted her and placed her gently on the bed.
Are you alright? Did you cut yourself?
Kinsley shook her head, then tentatively asked:
Were you serious about the divorce on the phone? If its because of me, you dont have to. I dont want to cause you trouble.
It has nothing to do with you.
Rhys cut her off.
Theres been nothing between us for a long time. Its just that Sam is protective of his mother and insists on going to France with her.
Kinsleys eyes darted away, then back.
Sam is just like you, kind-hearted and responsible. Dont worry, Ill talk to him. He cant sacrifice his own life for the past.
Rhys smiled warmly and pulled her into a hug.
I floated in the air, feeling no jealousy, only pure concern.
With Kinsleys selfish and calculating nature, would she really be good to Sam in the future?
4
Rhys drafted the divorce settlement.
He was relatively generous, offering me more than half of their substantial assets.
Yet, he looked profoundly unhappy.
Was he sad?
Sera Miller, Im sorry. I just couldnt endure it anymore.
One tear, then another, slid down his face.
My heart ached with his.
After the accident, I was bedridden, and he was the one who woke up at 5 a.m. every day to brew my medicine.
He was the one who massaged my stiff legs every night, his touch progressing from clumsy to expert.
For me, he canceled all out-of-town projects, moved his office home, handling work while listening to me smash things in frustration.
He was good enough over these eight years.
Anyone else might not have lasted this long.
I just want a normal life. Is that so wrong?
His voice was hoarse.
He was only in his late thirties, in the prime of his life. He shouldnt have to struggle with me in this mess.
I was the one dragging him down.
I had to leave.
I floated back to the twenty-second-floor apartment.
The balcony was chillingly empty. The wheelchair was still parked where I left it.
Ding! Ding! Ding!
The 5 p.m. alarm went off.
Sam should be getting out of school.
I was getting another chancea chance to pick him up one last time.
I floated at the school gate, waiting and waiting.
Finally, a familiar figure walked toward me. I waved my hand.
He smiled and waved back at me.
I rushed forward in a frenzy of joy, wanting to hug my son.
But he walked right through me and rushed straight into Kinsley Tates arms.
Kinsley skillfully took his backpack and affectionately smoothed his hair.
They looked like a real mother and son.
Ms. Tate, what happened to your face?
Kinsley quickly covered her cheek with her hair, her eyes immediately welling up.
Its nothing, sweetheart. Its grown-up stuff. Dont worry about it.
She paused.
Sam, you dont need to worry. After I marry your father, Ill only love you. Because I cant have children now, youll be my child forever!
Sam froze, his small body rigid.
After a long silence, he looked up, his eyes dark and unreadable.
Dad told me everything. This time, Mom did it again, didnt she?
Kinsley was silent, which was as good as an admission.
I lunged forward like a madwoman, howling:
No! Sam, it wasnt me! Your mother never hurt her!
But Sam lowered his head, utterly convinced that I was a cruel and wicked mother.
The dark clouds pressed down, and the air was suffocatingly heavy.
We walked in silence until we reached the complex gate, and Kinsley left.
Bang! The front door was violently kicked open.
Sam angrily threw his backpack onto the floor.
He screamed toward the balcony:
How could you do something so malicious?! Ms. Tate can never have children now! Are you happy?
Do you think that because I owe you, you can do whatever you want?!
Having you as a mother makes me sick!
I wanted to explain, but I didnt know how.
He was crying, tears streaming down his face.
He was trembling with pain and shock.
Does it make you happy that I have to live my whole life in guilt?! You should have just let me die!
Why didnt you let me die? I wish I had died instead!
I tried to wipe his tears away with my hand, to tell him it wasnt true, that Kinsley was lying.
Your mother never blamed you!
But my fingers passed right through his body.
I forgot. I was already dead.
I embraced Sam.
Yell at me. Get it all out.
Its okay. Mom will never trouble you again. Never make you feel guilty again.
See? Mom is already gone. Please, dont be sad anymore, alright?
But Sam couldnt hear a word I said.
The door was abruptly pushed open. Rhys stood framed against the light.
He placed the divorce papers on the table, speaking toward the balcony.
Sera Miller, lets get divorced!
Ive thought long and hard about this. Ive decided to set us both free. Im tired, and Sam is tired too.
Ill take care of everything for you. France is your best home now, and Ill hire the best people to care for you.
The balcony was silent. Not a sound.
Rhys, Im already dead. I dont need the money. You dont need to divorce me.
I am no longer your burden.
Rhys frowned slightly.
Stop acting like a child. Sam and I have made our decision. I hope you can respect our choice.
Let this be a chance for both of us to have a new life!
A moment of silence hung in the room. Everyone waited for my reply.
But I remained silent.
Father and son exchanged a look.
Mom, Ive thought this through very clearly. I want to stay with Dad and Ms. Tate. Please, let me go.
Im begging you. I really want a normal mother like Ms. Tate. I dont want to live the rest of my life in guilt.
First, search for and download the MotoNovel app from Google. Then, open the app and use the code "334488" to read the entire book.
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