He Thought My Brother Was My Lover
I was about to call him when my phone buzzed with an alert.
It was from his old gaming group, and Talia Shaw, his childhood friend, was tagging him frantically, begging him to log in.
The next second, the account that used my couples avatar popped up and instantly replied:
Hop on. Big brother is here to carry you.
A sudden, utter hollowness settled in my chest.
I backed out of the group chat without a word, bought a bucket of popcorn, and watched the rest of the premiere alone.
It wasnt until the house lights came up that I saw the dozens of missed calls from Dean.
There was also a panicked, grammatically disastrous voicemail:
Babe, Talia can vouch for me! I swear, I had a real emergency that just popped up!
Tomorrow, I promise Ill take you to see the movie. Well watch it together, okay?
I didnt reply.
I finally realized my future no longer required his participation.
1
Dean came home while I was sitting on the couch playing a mobile game.
Honey, can I trade these roses for a bowl of your famous chicken noodle soup?
He knelt on the floor, looking sheepish and overtly charming, tentatively holding out a bouquet of deep red roses.
I didnt stop my game, only giving him a brief look. Thank you.
Seeing my mild reaction, he visibly relaxed, humming as he turned on the TV to catch the entertainment news.
Just as the crystal exploded and my rank went up to the next star, I gathered up the takeout containers and walked toward the kitchen. Passing the trash can, I tossed the bouquet inside.
His face froze. What the hell was that?
I was washing my hands and, confused by his abrupt, accusatory tone, glanced at him.
He was staring at the trash can, looking like Id just stomped on his sincere, fragile heart.
I offered a simple explanation:
Im allergic to pollen.
The moment the words left my mouth, I regretted them. Unless hed developed early-onset amnesia, he couldnt have forgotten that two of my trips to the emergency room were due to severe pollen allergies.
In previous fights, Id accepted his roses with apology cards to give him an easy out.
Now, I just felt stupid for ever letting him get away with it.
Dean looked awkward. He tried to pivot. Okay, Ill get you a different gift next time, I promise. Anyway, Im starving, Anya.
I yawned and headed for the bedroom.
Theres instant ramen in the pantry.
Dean looked stunned.
He stared at me, incredulous. Youre not going to make it for me?
He used to complain my homemade soup was too simple and bland, but whenever he specifically asked for my cooking, Id feel a rush of quiet satisfaction, as if hed finally admitted he needed me.
His face darkened now.
I want your egg drop soup! Didnt you say instant ramen was unhealthy?
I paused, speaking seriously.
Once or twice wont hurt. Besides, you have that iron stomach, right?
My words stopped him cold.
He was a former pro gamer and now an Esports coach. Because of his erratic training schedule, he often neglected healthy eating, and his stomach was a mess.
I used to go out of my way to make sure he ate well.
I wouldnt have known he was feeding my carefully prepared, early-morning nutrition meals to someone else if I hadnt decided to surprise him with soup at his training facility one day.
I lost it that day. I cried, I yelled.
Dean just watched my meltdown quietly.
When I finally tired myself out, he pulled me into his arms.
If I really wanted Talia, you think youd still be here?
Anya, youre two years older than me. Can you just be mature about this? It was just a lunchbox.
She has a delicate stomach, so I gave her the meal to help her out. I have an iron stomach; I can eat anything.
Dean frowned, looking me up and down.
He let out a short, cold laugh.
Youre still mad because I missed the movie, arent you?
Fine, be mad at me. But this is between us. You just quietly leaving the group chathow do you think that makes Talia look? Shes the admin.
It was just a group for boosting ranks; members came and went. Me leaving would embarrass Talia?
Im not throwing a fit. I dont know anyone in that chat. It makes no difference if I leave. I was too tired for this and wanted to sleep.
But he changed his expression and blocked the bedroom door.
You left right when Talia was asking me to play a match.
Anyone who doesnt know the situation will assume she intervened in our relationship and drove you out of the group.
That made me laugh for real.
He was afraid his childhood friend would be labeled a homewrecker.
Fine. Fine. Ill make a post clarifying it. Tomorrow.
Is that what this is about
Bang. I locked the door behind me.
2
Dean wasn't the type to sleep on the sofathat was below him.
The last time he slept on the sofa was right before he retired from professional gaming. I had stayed up all night with him during a training session. I fell asleep on his single bed while watching a movie.
He was afraid of waking me, so he tiptoed away and squeezed himself onto a small futon couch for the night.
I told him to replace the tiny bed with a queen size.
He just smiled and tapped my nose. Dont think for a second youre going to be able to control me twenty-four-seven.
Now, the practice room had a new, huge bed. When I asked him why, he shrugged. Talia hosts tournaments sometimes, and she stops by to rest. The old bed wasnt comfortable for her.
His blunt honesty left me speechless.
He didn't even realize he was instinctively putting Talia before everything else.
Dean didn't show up at the apartment for three days.
But his Instagram feed was overflowing with his life.
He was back to racing and hitting the citys hottest bars, completely in his element. Hed posted more in three days than he had in the last six months combined.
Scrolling down, I saw Talias recent post.
The photo showed Dean in his racing suit, his arm casually around Talias waist, raising a trophy and grinning.
The caption: Boys will be boys. Guess hes still a big kid.
They looked exactly like a couple in the throes of new romance, sharing a moment of triumph.
I tapped the like button.
Then I called a car service and went to the office to submit my resignation.
My manager was surprised. So sudden?
She knew how hard Id fought to get here. From an industry novice to someone well-respected with strong connectionsit had cost me countless late nights, endless rounds of drinks, and swallowing my pride more times than I could count.
I didn't actually love the work. I persisted for two reasons: one, the job was strategically helpful for Deans career; and two, I was fiercely competitive and needed to prove I could succeed.
As she signed the paperwork, my manager teased me. I heard your family is overseas. Are you going back to get married?
I smiled and shook my head. I guess Im just homesick.
I had defied my family's wishes to chase this love across the country.
It turned out I bet on the wrong person.
When my colleagues heard I was leaving, they insisted on a farewell dinner. I couldn't refuse, so I agreed to host.
I didn't expect to run into Dean and Talia at the restaurant.
Fortunately, they were on their way out just as we were being seated.
As we brushed past, Dean gave me a cold, dismissive look, then smiled and wrapped his arm around Talias shoulders.
Lets go. Big brother is taking you for some killer shots tonight.
A flicker of surprise crossed Talias face, quickly replaced by a challenging look directed at me.
She leaned into Deans ear, giggling.
Arent you worried about Anya getting upset?
Dean scoffed. She doesnt get a say.
I heard their retreating footsteps and felt a wave of relief. This was best. No awkward small talk required.
The dinner with my colleagues was fun and went on past midnight.
I was trying to call a cab when a familiar Porsche Panamera pulled up beside me.
The window lowered, revealing Deans grim face.
Get in.
I was annoyed and surpriseddrunk driving was illegal.
He instantly saw my thought and snapped impatiently.
Hanging out with a bunch of guys, drinking until midnight. Youre unbelievable, Anya.
I havent had a drop of alcohol. Now, move the car, or Ill get a cab.
It was genuinely hard to find a ride at this hour.
I swallowed my annoyance and climbed into the back seat.
I closed my eyes for a moment to rest. When I opened the window for some fresh air, I realized the car hadnt moved.
I opened my eyes and met Deans intense, complicated gaze.
Anya Wells, am I your chauffeur?
I paused, then spoke without thinking.
Huh? Didnt you say I dont get carsick, so I should just sit in the back?
3
I wasn't a person who liked to dredge up old woundsespecially since I was already planning to break up with him.
But his righteous accusation, as if I were the rude one, made me throw that jab.
The passenger seat had briefly belonged to me.
But after Talia moved, Dean started conveniently driving her to and from work.
She got violently carsick, and Dean gave me a definitive look:
Anya, youre fine in the car. Go sit in the back.
The words choked me. My nose stung. Why should I? I wont.
From then on, he left early every day just to avoid me, terrified I might try to ride in his car.
I sighed and closed my eyes again.
If youre not driving, open the door. Ill call a Lyft.
I heard an exasperated sigh, and the engine finally turned over.
When we got home, Dean pinched the bridge of his nose, his face etched with weariness. Honey, can we just stop fighting now?
All I wanted was a hot bath. I casually agreed. Sure.
He suddenly became agitated. Talia and I are only friends. She said shed never been racing, so I took her. Thats all.
I know.
I stood in front of the bathroom cabinet, debating between a bath bomb and Epsom salts.
He seemed lost for a response.
Then why didnt you even reply to my texts?
I pretended not to hear and stepped into the bathroom.
It was only then that I saw how many messages he'd sent after I learned to block him out.
I went to the bar because you locked the door. I couldnt sleep on the floor, could I?
Ive decided Im never giving up racing for you.
I was kidding, Anya! Dont take it seriously.
Not replying to me? You're really going through with this.
Im waiting for your shift to end so I can take you home. Anya, I give up
Thinking back to the movie night, the sheer emptiness of waiting for a single text from him, I suddenly understood.
He could care. He could be anxious about missing a message. He could guard his chat window all day, just waiting for my replybut only when I pulled away.
Dean used to set my contact to Do Not Disturb because he found me annoying.
But the constantly buzzing gaming group chat? Hed never muted that.
No wonder Talia could tag him in the group and get a reply in seconds.
I got out of the shower and felt a new kind of dilemma. The apartment only had one bedroom with a comfortable bed. If I broke up with him right now, Id have nowhere to sleep.
Dean seemed even more distressed. He looked at me, opening and closing his mouth as if he wanted to say something but couldn't.
Then his phone rang. It was Talia.
He quickly answered, the girls muffled, crying voice faintly audible.
He hung up, his lips pressed into a thin line.
Talia had an accident, didnt she? Dont worry. Go.
His tension eased.
She got into a fender-bender. Its her first time, and she doesnt know what to do. Im just going to go help her.
Please, dont read anything more into this. Im begging you.
He naturally reached out and gave me a quick, thoughtless hug.
I stood rigid, barely stopping myself from pushing him away with all my strength.
Focused only on Talia, he missed my small, telling gesture. He turned and rushed out the door.
Before falling asleep, I unpinned Deans contact from the top of my chat list.
He sent several more scattered messages.
The latest read: The hospital wont let me leave. They said I have to stay as a guardian. Ill take you shopping tomorrow
I didn't read past that.
I tossed my phone aside and fell asleep.
4
Deans tomorrow was never actually tomorrow.
After my resignation handoff was finalized, I moved into my best friend Pipers apartment.
Late one night, we ordered a ton of fried chicken and huddled on the sofa to watch a horror movie. Just before the jump scare was about to pop up, I cleverly started scrolling through my phone.
When I saw Talias Instagram post, it felt like Id missed the jump scare entirely.
The photo showed Dean, sleeves rolled up, offering a peeled apple to a frail, white-haired elderly woman.
Little Grandma, I finally pulled it off and brought him to meet you.
The comments below were what really hit me:
If Deans "pretend boyfriend" stunt gets back to Anya, shes gonna flip the entire planet, LOL.
Anya shouldnt be jealous, haha. Dean cant live without her.
These were his former teammates.
They had always disliked me, thinking I was too controlling, too old, and unworthy of Dean.
Dean had always passively allowed their snide remarks and insults.
Hed just laugh and wave it off. Theyre just joking. You know I cant live without you.
It turned out that simple, dismissive reassurance had become their private joke at my expense.
What are you looking at?
Piper clapped my shoulder. Startled, I dropped my phone, and she snatched it up.
Her eyes immediately went red with fury. That dog! Im going to kill him!
She immediately called Dean.
He didnt answer.
Its okay, Piper. I dont love him anymore.
I wasnt heartbroken; my eyes just felt a little raw.
Piper sighed and helped me block Deans number and all his social media accounts.
I just feel like you wasted so much time.
It wasn't a waste; seeing the truth of this relationship now was still a win.
Pipers anger faded as quickly as it came.
When the delivery arrived, she insisted on playing rock-paper-scissors to see who had to answer the door.
You cheated! I laughed.
I pulled open the door, and my smile froze instantly.
Dean stood on the mat, travel-worn and haggard.
I was about to slam the door shut, but he braced his hand against the frame, his eyes red and his voice hoarse.
Anya, you quit your job behind my back, and you blocked me?
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