The Voice Without Warmth

1
I had the girl trying to worm her way into my husbands bed committed to a psychiatric hospital.
That night, Damien lost his mind. He strapped our son to the landing gear of a helicopter.
The aircraft circled three hundred feet in the air. His ultimatum crackled through the intercom.
Elara, get her out of there, right now. Unharmed.
For every hair on her head that's out of place, I'll cut off one of your son's fingers and drop it down to you as a gift.
I fell to my knees on the helipad, my heart twisting in agony as I watched the tiny, dangling figure above.
Damien, are you insane? That's your son! Your only son!
His voice came back, devoid of all warmth. She's just a girl. You locked her away in a place like that. When did you become so venomous, Elara?
You have three minutes. If I don't see her, I cut the rope. He can experience what a freefall feels like.
The countdown starts now.
My hands trembled so violently I could barely hold my phone.
Two minutes, fifty seconds.
My fingers stabbed blindly at the screen, misdialing several times before I got it right. The moment the call connected, I shrieked into the receiver.
Release her! Let Seraphina out, now! Have her call Damien the second shes free!
The hospital director on the other end stammered, saying her discharge paperwork wasnt even processed.
Tears streamed down my face. I knelt on the rough concrete, screaming into the phone. Forget the damn paperwork! Just get her out! If youre a minute late, Damien will kill my son! Go! Now!
I hung up and tilted my head back, my eyes fixed on the helicopter circling in the night sky.
The small, dark shape was tossed about like a dead leaf in the gale. I could hear his faint, terrified cries. Mommy, its so high! Leos so scared Wheres Daddy?
I snatched the intercom, my voice a broken, trembling mess. Damien, Ive told them to release Seraphina! Shes coming out right now! Please, just bring Leo down! The wind is too strong up there, he cant take it!
A cold laugh echoed in my headset. Now youre worried about your son, Elara? When you threw Sera into that hellhole, did you ever stop to think that she might be scared, too?
One minute left.
The howling wind swallowed the sound of my sobs. I began slamming my forehead against the ground, again and again. Blood trickled into my eyes, turning my vision a sickening red.
I was wrong, I was wrong! Please, dont take it out on Leo! Hes your son! Im begging you, just land the helicopter! You can punish me however you want!
Fifty seconds.
He ignored my pleas, his voice a metronome of doom, counting down the seconds. The psychological torture was tearing me apart.
I scrambled to my feet, trying to get closer to the helicopter, but one of Damiens bodyguards kicked me squarely in the knee. I crumpled to the ground, my chin splitting open on the concrete. I didnt feel the pain. All I could do was crane my neck, my desperate gaze locked on the sky.
My phone chimed. It was a video from the director. Seraphina was being escorted out of her room.
I held the phone up, aiming it at the helicopter. Damien, look! Shes out! Theyve released her! Stop this, now!
Two seconds of silence.
Then, Damiens voice, colder and darker than before.
Too late.
I want you to remember this pain, Elara. This way, youll never dare to touch whats important to me again.
Then came the sickening slice of a blade through rope.
NO!
A horrifying scream ripped from my throat as I watched the small, dark shape detach from the helicopter.
The aircraft was hovering directly over the man-made lake on the estate.
Three hundred feet.
Such a small child.
I watched him plummet, a straight, unyielding line, with nothing to break his fall.
A few seconds later, a massive splash erupted from the water, sending a plume several feet into the air.
In that instant, my heart stopped beating.
I shoved the bodyguards aside like a madwoman, stumbling and scrambling toward the lake, losing a shoe but not even noticing. I was about to jump in when more security guards tackled me, pinning me to the muddy bank.
Let me go! I have to save my son! Leos in the water!
I bit down on a guards arm, the coppery taste of blood flooding my mouth, but they didnt budge.
Damiens helicopter descended slowly. He stepped out of the cabin, looking down at my soaked, pathetic form with an air of detached superiority as he adjusted his cuffs.
Whats all the screaming for? Its a lake. Hes not going to die.
His lip curled in a sneer. A little lesson for him. So he learns whose side he should be on. So he doesnt grow up to be a spineless bitch like you.
The rescue team took a full ten minutes to pull Leo from the water.
His little face was a ghostly white, his chest barely moving. His limbs hung limp and lifeless.
I lunged forward, clutching his cold, small body, my trembling fingers searching for the faintest breath from his nose.
It was barely there.
Call an ambulance! Someone call an ambulance! I shrieked, my voice raw and broken.
Damien watched, impassive. He waved a dismissive hand. Thats enough. Leo didn't fall from the helicopter. This was a lesson for both of you.
He gestured to his men. Have the guards take him to the hospital, put him on an IV. He has to apologize to Sera tomorrow.
I held my unconscious son, a rage so profound it threatened to tear me in two boiling in my chest.
Damien, if anything happens to Leo, I swear to God I will kill you.
The red light above the emergency room door was a blinding glare.
I stood there, soaked to the bone, water dripping from my clothes to form a small puddle on the sterile floor.
A doctor burst through the doors, his surgical mask stained with blood. The patient has ruptured internal organs! Three broken ribs have punctured his lung! Hes in critical condition and needs surgery immediately! We need a signature from his next of kin!
I grabbed the doctors arm. Ill sign! Im his mother!
The doctor hesitated. Mrs. Vance, Mr. Vance is his legal guardian. He gave us specific instructions that he must personally approve any surgery for Leo.
My world exploded.
Damien. It was always Damien.
My hand shaking, I pulled out my phone and dialed his number. It rang for a long time before he answered.
Seraphinas delicate, cloying sobs whispered through the speaker, followed by Damiens low, comforting murmur.
Damien, my wrist hurts so much. Those restraints at the hospital were so tight. Do you think theyll leave a scar?
Dont worry, darling. Ive already sent for the best scar cream. Youll be fine.
I couldnt take it anymore. I screamed into the phone. Damien! Leo needs surgery! You have to sign! He has massive internal bleeding, hes on the operating table dying! Just tell the doctor its okay!
A moment of silence on the other end.
Then, Damiens cold, emotionless scoff. Elara, youre a compulsive liar. Wasnt he perfectly fine at the lake a little while ago? Now hes suddenly dying at the hospital?
Im busy helping Sera with her medication right now. I dont have time for your little stories.
My knuckles were white, my nails digging into the palm of my hand. He fell three hundred feet, Damien! Are you even human? Thats your son!
My voice broke into a desperate plea. Im begging you. Just tell the doctor you consent. If you wait any longer, it will be too late
As I spoke, my legs gave out and I collapsed to the floor. I bowed my head to the empty air, slamming my forehead against the linoleum again and again.
Damien, please. Im on my knees. Ill never go near Seraphina again. Just save Leo please
The disgust in his voice was palpable. Enough! Stop trying to manipulate me with this pathetic act. Sera has a red mark on her wrist. Thats whats important. If Leo were really in trouble, you wouldnt have the energy to be screaming like a banshee.
He hung up.
When I tried to call back, the line was dead.
I listened to the dial tone, and a tide of despair washed over me, pulling me under.
The operating room doors opened again. A nurse ran out, holding a critical condition notice. Did you reach Mr. Vance? The patients blood pressure is still dropping! If we dont get a signature, we cant take responsibility for what happens next!
I snatched the pen from her. Ill sign! I yelled, a crazed look in my eyes. He agreed on the phone! You can call him back if you dont believe me!
The nurse gave me a skeptical look but handed over the consent form.
With a trembling hand, I signed my name, and she rushed back inside.
Leo, dont be scared.
Mommys here.
You have to hold on. Please, dont leave Mommy all alone.
The seconds ticked by, each one a new slice of a blade against my heart.
At three in the morning, the light above the operating room went out.
The doctor emerged, pushing a gurney. The medical staff all stared at the floor, none of them daring to meet my eyes.
A white sheet was draped over the gurney, covering him from head to toe.
I stood up, my limbs numb and wooden. I walked over and pulled back the sheet.
Leos small face was as white as the cloth, completely drained of color. There were marks all over his body where tubes had been, and his chest was wrapped in thick gauze, but it would never rise and fall again.
Just yesterday morning, hed slung his little backpack over his shoulder and told me in his sweet, soft voice, Mommy, you look so pretty today! Ill draw you a picture when I get home from school.
Now, my Leo was a cold, lifeless body.
Aaaargh!
A gut-wrenching, soul-tearing scream ripped from my throat as I collapsed beside the gurney.
Leo! Wake up! Mommys here to take you home!
I clung to his body, still faintly warm, refusing to let go. Doctors and nurses tried to pull me away, but I shoved them back with the strength of a madwoman.
Get away from me! Dont touch my son! Hes just sleeping!
Just then, footsteps echoed from the end of the hall.
Damien approached, his arm wrapped around Seraphina, who was draped in his jacket. She leaned against him, a triumphant smirk on her face, though her words were meek.
Damien, Elara is so upset. Do you think something really happened to Leo?
Damien didnt even glance at the body on the gurney.
For Gods sake, Elara, what are you wailing about in the middle of a hospital? Have you no shame?
I looked up from the floor at the two of them, a vision of pure evil. If looks could kill, they would have been hacked into a thousand pieces.
Youre too late, Damien, I rasped, my voice thick with the taste of blood.
Leos dead. You killed him.
Damiens brow furrowed for a second, then his expression soured into one of even deeper contempt.
Dead?
He let out a cold laugh and reached for the white sheet. I think hes gotten addicted to playing dead. What have you been teaching him? To participate in your little dramas at his age?
I scrambled forward and wrapped my arms around his leg, my nails digging into the fine wool of his trousers. Dont touch him! You dont have the right!
He kicked me aside with such force that I slammed into the wall, the impact rattling my organs.
Seraphina pointed at a corner of the sheet that had slipped down. Oh, my, she said with theatrical surprise. Why is his face so pale? Is that a doll? Elara, you really went all out to try and trick Damien into coming back, didnt you?
Her words fueled his anger. He ripped the sheet off and, to my horror, slapped Leos lifeless face. Twice.
Stop faking it! Get up!
Leos head lolled limply to the side.
I flew at Damien like an animal, sinking my teeth into his wrist.
Let go, you psycho! he roared in pain, backhanding me across the face.
My ears rang, and blood trickled from the corner of my split lip, but I felt nothing.
I threw myself back over Leos body, shielding him with my own.
Get out! Take your whore and get out! Dont you dare defile my sons path to the afterlife!
Damien stared at the deep, bloody bite mark on his wrist, his face a thunderous mask of rage. He rounded on the doctor. How dare you! he bellowed. Youre all in on this together, trying to fool me!
The doctor flinched, shrinking back. Mr. Vance, the young master we received the consent form too late
Shut up! Damien cut him off, his voice raw with fury. A bunch of useless idiots!
He turned back to me, his eyes filled with nothing but disgust and disbelief. Elara, I have to hand it to you, this is a very convincing performance. Youd even curse your own son just to make me feel guilty?
Fine. This doll is creeping me out. Take it to the morgue and put it on ice! Lets see what other tricks you have up your sleeve then, you crazy bitch!
He actually called his bodyguards and ordered them to take Leos body to the morgue.
No! Damien, you will pay for this!
I was pinned to the floor, forced to watch as they wheeled my son away. I struggled, my fingernails scraping bloody tracks into the linoleum.
Seraphina walked over and crouched down in front of me. With her back to Damien, her face twisted into a hideously evil grin.
You see, Elara? she whispered. This is what happens when you cross me. Your son is dead, and Damien doesnt even believe it. In his mind, Leo is worth less than this little red mark on my wrist.
I stared at her, a low, animalistic growl rumbling in my throat. Seraphina Im going to kill you
She immediately stood up, her expression morphing into one of pure terror as she ran back into Damiens arms. Damien, her eyes she looks terrifying! Do you think shes having a breakdown?
Damien held her close, stroking her back soothingly. When he looked at me, his eyes were like chips of ice.
I think shes lost her mind, he said.
Treating a doll like her own child.
Since shes insane, she cant be allowed to run around making a scene. Lock her in the house. Shes not to step one foot outside without my permission.
The guards hauled me to my feet and began dragging me away. I went limp, my eyes fixed on the direction they had taken Leo, until the door to the morgue swung shut.
And in that moment, my heart died with him.
Back at the mansion, I was thrown into the master bedroom. The door was locked from the outside.
I lay on the cold floor, thinking of the birthday cake Leo never got to finish, the picture for me he never got to draw. And the image of him falling from the sky
All of this was because of Damien. Because of his twisted affection for that bitch, Seraphina.
I pushed myself up and took Leos photo album from the bookshelf. I traced his face in every picture, my tears long since run dry.
I was locked in that room for two days. I didn't eat or drink. I just sat on the floor, folding every piece of clothing Leo had ever worn and arranging them on the bed.
Damien never came back. He was with Seraphina, tending to her bruised wrist.
On the evening of the third day, the door opened. Damien stumbled in, reeking of alcohol, the house manager trailing nervously behind him. He glanced at the neat piles of childrens clothes on the bed and sneered.
Still keeping up the act? Youre very convincing.
I ignored him, mechanically placing Leos favorite little dinosaur stuffed animal on the pillow.
My silence enraged him. He strode over and swept the clothes off the bed with a single, violent motion.
Did you hear me talking to you? Who are you playing deaf and dumb for?
The clothes scattered across the floor, and he ground them under the heel of his polished leather shoe.
That finally got a reaction. I lunged forward, trying to push his leg away. Get your foot off! Dont you dare step on his clothes!
He didnt move. Instead, he twisted his heel, grinding the fabric into the carpet. Its just a piece of clothing. You value it more than your life? Im tired of your games, Elara.
He crouched down, grabbing my chin and forcing me to look at him. Sera wants to come see Leo. Get that little bastard out here right now. Tell him to stop hiding.
I stared at the face so close to mine. I had once loved him more than life itself. Now, he just made me sick.
You forgot? Leos in the morgue.
Youre the one who ordered him to be sent there.
Damien froze for a second, then his face contorted with rage. Are you fucking done with this? Do you get some sick pleasure from cursing our son to death?
Sera already told me! She went to check again! The body in the morgue is a fake!
He stood up and roared at the manager in the doorway. Go find that little brat and drag him out here! I dont believe he can hide from me forever!
The manager whispered, Sir, the young master hes really not in the house.
Damien wasnt listening. He tore the room apart, ripping open the closet doors, flipping the mattress.
Finally, his eyes landed on a small box on the desk.
It held a lock of Leos baby hair and his first tooth.
Damien strode over and shook it. Whats in here? More of your black magic to curse Sera?
I scrambled to get it back. Give it to me! Thats Leos!
He opened the box. The sight of its contents only deepened his rage. Youre disgusting. No wonder Seras been having nightmares.
He hurled the box against the wall. The baby teeth scattered across the floor, the lock of soft hair landing on the carpet.
It wasnt enough. He called for a maid. Get the vacuum. Clean up this trash.
A desperate scream tore from my throat. I dropped to the floor, trying to shield the precious mementos with my hands. Dont! Damien, I hope you rot in hell!
The maid stood frozen, holding the vacuum, too scared to move.
Damien snatched it from her, flipped the switch, and jammed the nozzle against the back of my hand. The powerful suction pulled at my skin, a searing, tearing pain. My heart felt like it was being squeezed to death. I coughed, and a spray of blood erupted from my lips.
Damien recoiled in disgust. Pathetic. Clean this place up.
He threw the vacuum down and turned to leave. At the door, he paused. Since that brat loves to hide so much, he can hide for the rest of his life.
The door slammed shut, but this time, it wasn't locked.
I lay on the floor, my fingers combing through the carpet, desperately trying to find a single strand of hair.
But there was nothing. It was all gone.
Slowly, I pushed myself up and wiped the blood from my mouth. I looked at the ghost-like reflection in the mirror.
Then I went to the garage and found the canister of gasoline.
Night fell. The mansion was eerily silent. The staff knew Damien despised me, and they stayed in their quarters out back, not wanting to get in the way.
I carried the gasoline can, my bare feet silent on the cold marble floor.
I poured it over Damiens favorite leather sofa, over the doorway to the nursery that was once filled with laughter but was now cold and empty.
The acrid smell filled the house.
I sat in the middle of the living room, a lighter in my hand.
Click.
A small flame flickered to life.
I let it drop. It landed on the gasoline-soaked rug.
WHOOSH.
A wall of fire erupted, instantly devouring everything. The heat washed over me, singeing the ends of my hair.
I pulled out my phone and dialed the familiar number.
Damien answered instantly. In the background, I could hear the swell of an orchestra and the sound of laughter. Elara, what now? Im warning you
Damien, I said softly, cutting him off. You should come home.
Come home to what? he asked, annoyed.
To see our house. To see the fire. Its such a big fire.
Two seconds of silence, then the sound of a glass shattering.
Elara! What are you doing?! For the first time, there was panic in his voice.
I smiled and began to sing Leos favorite nursery rhyme into the phone. Twinkle, twinkle, little star
Youre insane! Put it out! Im coming back right now! Damien was screaming now, the background noise turning to chaos as he started to run.
How I wonder what you are My voice caught in my throat. Leo is afraid of the dark. Daddy wont go with him, so Mommy will. You just stay with your precious Seraphina, Damien. And live well, in this hell youve made on earth.
I threw the phone into the flames.
The fire roared, and the support beams began to groan and splinter.
I slipped out of the white dress Damien had once given me and tossed it into the heart of the inferno.

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