My Sick Stepfather: A Toxic Asset

1
The year I turned seven, my father died in a car crash. My mother remarried her first love and I moved in with them.
At our very first dinner as a new family, my stepfather, Richard, announced the new house rules.
From now on, this family operates on a pay-your-own-way basis.
I took a piece of the pot roast.
For that one piece of meat, my stepfather demanded three hundred dollars from a seven-year-old.
I looked at my stepsister, Ashley, who was happily devouring her own portion.
Ashley had pot roast, too. Why dont you ask her to pay?
Because Ashley is my own flesh and blood, Richard answered. I love Ashley. She has bloodline privilege.
I glanced at my mother.
Richard continued, Your mother is my wife. I love your mother, so she has privilege, too.
As for you, he said, his eyes cold, we have no blood ties and no emotional foundation. I have no obligation to support you.
To enforce Richards pay-as-you-go system, everything in the house was given a price tag.
A list was taped to the refrigerator door:
Apple: $2.00/each
Milk: 0-0.50/carton
Leftovers: $0.75/portion
My mother and Ashley had privilege. They could open the fridge whenever they wanted.
I wanted to, but I had no money to pay.
You have no money, yet you expect to eat? Richards voice was a flat line.
I mumbled, unsure of what to do.
He feigned generosity. Fine. Well put it on your tab for now. You can sign a personal loan agreement with your mother and me.
Interest will be calculated at a high-risk rate, 0.1% daily, compounded until you turn eighteen. Once youre an adult and earning money, you can pay us back.
And so it began.
I had to pay for every watt of electricity I used. Every grain of rice I ate. I even had to chip in for the vacations my parents took Ashley on
Because of the familys pay-as-you-go system, I was over eighty thousand dollars in debt before I was even an adult.
To minimize my debt, I lived as frugally as possible. Id even dig through the trash for Ashleys old, discarded clothes and shoes. Sometimes, Id beg for food on the streets.
But no matter how thrifty I was, I couldnt avoid everything.
That winter, the flu was raging.
I got sick. A fever.
The thermometer read 103.6 degrees. My body felt like a hot coal.
As expected, the first thing my parents did was pull out their ledger and a calculator. After a flurry of calculations, they printed out a new loan contract.
Chloe, we can take you to the hospital. But you need to understand, medical costs are a bottomless pit these days. Registration, blood tests, an IV drip thats a thousand bucks, easy.
And as weve agreed, Chloe, household expenses are shared. But personal, unexpected costs, like you getting sick, are your own responsibility.
But I couldn't pay.
So, I signed another loan agreement.
In the end, they didnt take me to the hospital.
Richard said it was too expensive. A waste of resources.
Instead, he went to the drugstore downstairs and bought a box of fever reducers and a box of antibiotics. Total cost: five dollars.
He walked into my room holding the medicine, my mother trailing behind him.
Chloe, you may not be my flesh and blood, but that doesn't mean I don't care about you. I paid for this medicine out of my own pocket. With a five-dollar delivery fee, that comes to ten dollars total.
He placed the medicine on my nightstand, then handed me a pen and a piece of paper.
Sign the loan contract first. Once you sign, you can have the medicine.
I was so feverish I could barely open my eyes.
Mom I croaked.
She turned her face away, muttering, Just sign it, Chloe. Sign it, take the medicine, and youll be fine.
Fighting the waves of sickness, my hand trembled as I scrawled my name on the contract.
The second my signature was complete, Ashleys voice cried out from the kitchen.
Daddy! Mommy! I cut my finger! It hurts so much!
My mother shot up like a spring and sprinted to Ashley in the kitchen. Her voice was laced with panic and pain.
Whats wrong, my sweet baby?
Oh my god, let Mommy see! Is it bleeding? Honey, lets go! We have to get her to the hospital for stitches and a tetanus shot! A cut like this can get infected, we cant take any chances!
Listening to the sound of the car engine starting outside, I lay in bed, tears streaming down my face.
I didnt understand.
Why did my 103-degree fever only warrant a ten-dollar box of pills, and only after signing a loan agreement?
But a tiny cut on Ashleys finger got her a free ride to the hospital for a tetanus shot?
Ashley, the princess of the household, saw my confusion.
She grinned at me.
Because Im his flesh and blood. Daddy loves me.
And your mom loves my dad. So by extension, she loves me most of all!
2
Because Ashley was his flesh and blood, she received the love of both my stepfather and the mother who adored him.
I was only my mothers flesh and blood.
So, as I grew older, all I received was a snowballing mountain of debt.
I had no time for a social life at school. Even with college entrance exams approaching, I spent my lunch breaks collecting cans, running errands for classmates, and even copying out homework for struggling students in a corner of the playground. Five bucks for a thousand words.
But I never expected Ashley to corner me while I was collecting plastic bottles, her friends flanking her.
She pulled a piece of paper from her pocket.
It was the loan agreement I had just signed with my stepfather two days ago.
It detailed my request for an advance to buy next months supply of pads.
See? I wasnt lying! Its all true. Chloe here has to borrow money and sign an IOU just to buy pads.
My stepsister is barely a teenager and shes already eighty-five thousand dollars in debt to my family.
Shes a total leech. Already drowning in debt before shes even earned a dime. Who knows how shes wasting money behind our backs.
Its all true! If any of you hang out with her, watch your wallets. Shell probably steal from you!
So, I was just gossip for her and her friends. The other students started whispering. My face burned with shame.
Pads.
Having something so private broadcasted to a crowd of people I wished the ground would swallow me whole. My eyes welled with tears as I tried to snatch the paper back.
Ashley held it high above her head.
Later, she didnt just show it to the boys, she posted it on the schools public notice board.
Everyone, come and see the real face of our top-ranked student! Whats the point of getting good grades? Shes a teenager with $85,730 in debt! Rotten to the core!
That afternoon, I became the schools laughingstock.
The girl who buys pads on credit became my nickname.
My teacher called both me and Ashley into her office. My homeroom teacher was a responsible woman. She furiously reprimanded Ashley for her disrespectful behavior, then called our parents.
Richard and my mother both came.
Richard was dressed in a sharp suit, looking every bit the cultured gentleman. He apologized to the teacher the moment he walked in.
But when the teacher tactfully mentioned the importance of protecting a young girls privacy and providing basic necessities, Richard pushed up his glasses and smiled.
Maam, youve misunderstood. This is our familys approach to financial literacy. Chloe has always lacked a sense of money. The pay-as-you-go system, the personal loan contracts these are all tools Im using to cultivate her survival skills and independence.
The teacher was left speechless.
After we left the office and rounded an empty corner of the hallway, the smiles vanished from my parents faces.
Richard checked the time on his phone, and my mother immediately understood. She began to scold me.
Chloe, because you caused trouble at school, your father and I had to take an hour off work to deal with it. Your fathers hourly rate is two hundred dollars, mine is one hundred. Add twenty-five for gas, and thats a total of three hundred and twenty-five dollars.
My mother scribbled down the numbers.
This goes on your tab. You are responsible for the additional cost of our time.
And so, my debt grew larger.
On the way home, Ashley happily held my parents hands. I trailed behind, alone.
Suddenly, Ashley turned around and stuck her tongue out at me with a triumphant grin.
3
At the dinner table that evening, my mother suddenly covered her mouth, let out a retching sound, and ran to the bathroom.
Richard froze for a second.
Then his eyes lit up, and he dropped his chopsticks.
Sophia! he rushed to the bathroom door, knocking. Whats wrong? Are you?
The suspicion was confirmed at the hospital.
My mother, at forty-two, was pregnant.
She was pregnant with Richards own flesh and blood.
She caressed her stomach, a blissful, rosy glow on her face. The arrival of their love child put both of them in a fantastic mood.
Richard turned to me.
To ensure the best possible environment for the new family member, we need to reallocate some household resources.
So, Chloe, your room can be turned into a nursery for your future baby brother.
My heart sank.
Then where will I live?
Richard tapped the table and pointed towards the balcony.
Your mother and I discussed it. We can enclose that corner of the balcony and put a folding bed there for you.
The balcony?
It was drafty in the winter and baked in the summer, with no proper shelter.
When I started to cry and protest, my parents stance remained firm. Their words, laced with demands for me to be more considerate, were non-negotiable.
With a new baby, we have to tighten our belts. Besides, youre about to finish your college exams, Chloe. Youre perfectly capable of getting a job like an adult.
Starting next year, after your exams, you will give up your spot in college and get a job to pay back your debt to us.
No!
I had to go to college!
My teacher said it was my only way out.
I argued, pleading my case.
But my mother, her face contorted with anger, slapped me across the face.
My parents pulled out the black ledger and a thick stack of loan agreements bearing my name, throwing them on the table in front of me.
Lets get one thing straight. You are not his flesh and blood. We have no obligation to raise you, especially since youve been racking up debt under our system for years! You are a serious loss-making project!
I held my stinging cheek, my gaze fixed on my mother, who was lost in the bliss of her pregnancy.
Mom. Dont you remember? Im not his flesh and blood. But I am yours.
She just looked down, stroking her belly, basking in the happiness of carrying Richards child. After a long moment, my resentful stare made her flinch. Finally, as if shed made a decision, she looked up at me.
Chloe, dont blame us. Raising a child is expensive. We have to start saving for your brothers formula and education fund before hes even born. Youre old enough now. You should be sensible and help the family out. Besides, you already owe us a huge amount of money
My eyes burned. I stared at my mother in disbelief.
I finally understood.
In this family, I was nothing more than an outsider in debt.
I turned and began to pack my things in silence.
4
My mother's child, the one that was both hers and Richards, wasn't even born yet. But to show how important this child was, they decided to prepare the nursery in advance.
And so, they moved me to the balcony ahead of schedule.
On my first night there, my fever returned.
It was June, the rainy season. The balcony had windows, but they were leaky, letting in drafts and rain. It felt like a damp, cold cellar. I had to sleep wrapped in two thick blankets.
One night, I woke up thirsty and went to the living room for a glass of hot water.
On the coffee table sat a half-eaten box of cherries.
They were huge, deep crimson, and smelled intoxicatingly sweet.
Next to them was a note from Richard.
[For my dear wife. These are imported cherries, good for your health. Youre carrying our child, and this is for our babys vitamins. Twenty-five dollars a pound. Remember not to let any outsiders eat them.]
The outsider, of course, was me.
I stared at the cherries, a cold laugh building inside me.
Just then, a moan came from the master bedroom.
Water get me some water
Richard was on a business trip. Ashley, with exams around the corner, was still out partying at a friend's house and had decided to stay the night.
They were both gone.
I pushed open the bedroom door.
My pregnant mother was lying in bed, her face pale, her forehead slick with sweat. Because of her age, her pregnancy symptoms were severe. She was having a leg cramp in the middle of the night.
She was thirsty and in pain.
When she saw it was me, she ordered me around as if it were her right.
Chloe, are you deaf? Ive been calling for ages. Cant you see how much pain Im in? Come here and rub my leg, its cramping. It hurts like hell.
I stood by the bed in silence.
Mom, its three in the morning.
I looked at her, my voice devoid of warmth. Thats outside of normal working hours. According to labor laws, night-shift nursing services are charged at double the rate.

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