No Return from Regret

To coax my feverish son, Leo, to take his medicine, I started humming a lullaby.
But halfway through, his little face scrunched up in disgust. He swatted the bowl from my hand.
Mommy, you sing terribly, he whined. I want Daddy to sing.
Shards of porcelain scraped the back of my hand, drawing pinpricks of blood. "Don't be difficult," I scolded gently, picking up the pieces. "Your dad? He doesn't know any lullabies."
Leo let out a sleepy yawn. "He does too!" he mumbled, his eyes fluttering shut. "When he sings to Miss Nina while she rests her head on his lap, it sounds way better than this."
My hand froze.
1
I stayed that way for a long time. So long that Leo had already drifted off to sleep in his bed.
Finally, I moved, walking slowly to the balcony to stare into the night. It was Christmas Eve, and the world outside glittered with life, a tapestry of festive lights woven between the houses.
When I turned back, my own home felt cavernously cold and empty.
Just like every other night, Ethan wasn't home yet.
I hesitated for a moment before dialing his number. The ringtone droned on for what felt like an eternity, nearly forty seconds, before a clipped, impatient voice answered. "In a meeting. I'll be late."
He hung up before I could even reply.
But I'd heard it. The background noise wasn't the quiet hum of a boardroom. It was a cacophony of chatter and laughter, a womans giggle cutting through it all.
On an impulse I couldn't explain, I went downstairs, got in my car, and drove straight to Leo's preschool.
The square across the street was alive with holiday cheer. It took me less than a second to find him.
Ethan was dressed in a goofy Santa suit, striking ridiculous poses that made the woman sitting on the stone steps double over with laughter. He used the moment to slip a piece of candy into her hand, his voice warm. "Nina, Merry Christmas."
A sharp pain lanced through my chest.
Last Christmas, I'd been bored at home. Id tugged on his sleeve, trying to be playful. "Come on, just spend a little time with me. Can't you leave work early?" I'd wheedled. "Just an hour? Half an hour? Even ten minutes would be enough!"
Hed merely shot me a cold look and pulled his arm away. "It's just one night, Chloe. Why are you being so childish?"
My vision blurred. Across the square, they were still laughing and teasing each other, looking for all the world like a couple lost in the throes of new love.
I knew her. Nina. Leos "Miss Nina."
At twenty, Ethan had fought our arranged marriage with everything he had. Hed knelt before his grandfather, begging to be punished, begging to marry her.
In the end, the old mans fury had triggered a heart attack. His dying wish, written into his will, was that Ethan honor the engagement.
So Ethan had shut his mouth and locked away his heart. He cut off all contact with her and, as promised, he married me and we had a child.
But now, a decade later, it was thirty-year-old Ethan who couldn't forget Nina. Not me, his wife of ten years.
In that instant, ten years of marriage and fifteen years of my own secret, unrequited love felt like a pathetic joke. I forced a bitter smile.
If this marriage was something I had stolen, then it was time I gave it back.
Taking a deep breath, I turned and drove home.
The clock hands swept past midnight before Ethan finally walked through the door.
I hadn't turned on any lights. I was just a small shape curled up on the sofa in the dark.
He looked at me in silence for a moment, not noticing the paleness of my face as he sat down beside me.
"Can't sleep without me?" he chuckled, pulling a small jewelry box from his pocket. "It's the new piece from the holiday collection. Want to try it on?"
My lips tightened. "Christmas is over, Ethan," I told him, my voice flat. "And so is my love for you."
His expression darkened, the faint glimmer of amusement vanishing from his eyes. He tossed the box into the nearby trash can.
"Chloe, you're crossing a line."
As he turned to leave, the air he stirred carried a cloying, fruity sweetness that made my stomach turn. I stopped him as he headed for his study.
My voice was quiet, almost a whisper.
"Ethan, let's get a divorce."
That way, I'll never have to cross a line again.
2
Ethan froze mid-stride.
He turned his head, his brow furrowed. "All because I was late for one stupid holiday?"
I was silent for a moment, then shook my head. "It's more than that."
To be honest, the word "divorce" had startled me as much as it had him. From the time I was a little girl, my mother had drilled it into my head that I was destined to be Ethans wife. I had chased after him for years. I'd been hurt, I'd been exhausted, Id cried, but I had never once thought of giving up.
And yet, the word had slipped out so easily.
Ethan's face was a blank mask, his gaze chilling me to the bone. "If you're going to throw a tantrum, Chloe, at least pick a better time. I'm busy. I don't have time for these childish games."
I didn't expect him to believe me. It didn't matter.
I didn't argue. He'd know I was serious soon enough, when a lawyer presented him with the divorce agreement and a detailed division of our assets.
I changed the subject, my tone deceptively casual. "Nina got a divorce, did you know? I hear she's teaching at Leo's preschool now."
Ethan's eyes dropped. "I didn't know," he said, his voice devoid of emotion. "And I don't care."
How could he not care?
I stared at the headlines on my phone, my fingers gripping the screen until my knuckles turned white. "CEO's Fiery Defense of Childhood Sweetheart." "A Love That Transcends Class."
He had helped her with the divorce.
He had personally carried her to his car.
And he had carefully chosen a job for her, placing her right under his nose.
I shoved the phone in his face, my voice trembling. "This is you 'not caring'?" I demanded. "Wasn't that you, the great CEO, playing Santa in the snow to make her smile?"
Ethan barely glanced at it, not even giving me a proper look. "Her ex was a monster. Abusive. I brought Nina back because I couldn't stand by and watch. I'd do the same for anyone." He sighed, as if explaining something to a difficult child. "Christmas is her birthday, and she's been depressed. I was just trying to cheer her up. Chloe, can't you have a little empathy? This is exactly why I didn't tell you. You always overthink things."
It was all so reasonable.
My limbs felt stiff, my chest so tight I could hardly breathe. I didn't know what expression to make.
Ethan paused, then let out a soft sigh, patting my shoulder. "Chloe, we're married now."
The words were meant to be comforting, but they were laced with a quiet sorrow, a phantom limb of a love he'd lost in his youth.
I understood his unspoken message. We're married. What more could you possibly want?
I shook his hand off, clinging to one last shred of hope. "Leo had a fever all night. Did you know?"
He flinched. I knew it. Hed put me on Do Not Disturb again, never even seeing my messages.
A bitter sting filled my nose. I was about to say more when a horrifying realization struck me.
Leo. Id wanted to name him Theodore, but Ethan had insisted on Leo. For her middle name. Leonora. Nina was just a nickname.
The realization hit me like a punch to the gut. Even the child we had created was just another secret monument to his memory of her.
I felt utterly defeated. I didn't have the energy to fight anymore.
Ethan looked uncertain, hesitantly reaching for me, but the sudden, sharp ring of the doorbell cut through the tension.
A moment later, the door swung open.
A frail figure peeked around the doorframe, her voice choked with tears. "Ethan... I have nowhere else to go."
3
Ninas sobs filled the room.
The little rabbit keychain dangling from her hand was a perfect match to the one on Ethan's keyring. Clearly, he'd brought her here before, shown her our home while I was away.
Seeing her tears, Ethan's composure shattered. He turned without a second thought to go to her.
Bile rose in my throat. I fought back the nausea and grabbed the corner of his jacket. "Ethan, do you think I'm that much of a pushover?" I asked, my voice dangerously low. "Do you even consider this our home anymore? Leo is still sick..."
My voice cracked. "If you let her in that door, we are really, truly done."
His eyes, red-rimmed and desperate, met mine. He paused, his hand covering mine on his jacket.
Then, slowly and deliberately, he pried my fingers off, one by one.
"This doesn't concern you, Chloe. Just do your job and be my wife."
He pulled away and rushed to Nina's side, his voice dripping with concern. "What happened? Who hurt you?"
Nina buried her face in his chest, her muffled sobs telling a story only he could hear. Ethans brow furrowed in anger. He held her, murmuring reassurances until she quieted down, finally sparing me a glance.
"Nina's ex-husband followed her here. She's alone and terrified he'll harass or hurt her, so she came to me for help," he explained, his tone accusatory. "Don't be so cruel, Chloe. Go clear out the master bedroom. You can sleep with Leo tonight. Nina needs to rest."
My fingers clenched into fists. I stared at him, my jaw tight. "She needs to rest? What about Leo? Isn't he your son? You want him to sleep poorly while he's sick?"
Just then, the door to the spare bedroom opened. Leo stood there, his face stormy with irritation. He glared at me, his voice sharp. "Mommy, you're so loud! Can't a person get some sleep?"
I froze, stunned into silence. My first instinct was still to worry about his fever, to soften my voice and coax him back to bed.
But then Leo's eyes landed on Nina, who was trembling behind Ethan. I tried to block his view, but he pushed my hand away and ran straight to her, tugging on her arm like a puppy. "Miss Nina? What are you doing here? Did you miss me?"
He looked up at her tear-streaked face. "Are your eyes red because my mommy was being mean and scared you?"
Nina knelt, gently stroking his hair, her lips curving into a soft, sad smile. "No, sweetie, your mommy is a very nice person... The teacher was just followed by a bad man, her ex-husband. For a little while, I might not have a home."
Leo's face lit up with purpose. He took her hand and puffed out his chest. "Don't be scared, Miss Nina, I'll protect you! When I grow up, I'll marry you, and then you'll never have to worry about not having a home again!"
Nina blinked, then burst into a genuine, delighted laugh. "You little charmer. I wonder where you get your taste in women." Her eyes flickered meaningfully toward Ethan.
The hardness in Ethans face softened. He playfully tapped Leo's forehead. "Get back to bed. You think Nina needs your help?"
"No! I want to sleep with Miss Nina..."
The warm, yellow light of the living room cast a soft glow on the three of them. Bathed in the light, they looked like a perfect, happy family.
And I was the intruder.
I let out a quiet laughI wasn't sure if it was from pain or self-mockery.
Without another word, I went and packed a small bag. As I walked to the door, I looked back at Ethan with considerate calm.
"It's okay if the house is a little crowded."
"I'll just stay somewhere else."
Ethans movement stuttered. He took two steps toward me before Nina grabbed his arm. "Ethan, Leo said he's sleepy. Why don't we get him to bed first?"
He stopped. He glanced at my back, then down at Ninas pleading eyes, and his resolve crumbled. He gently pinched the bridge of her nose. "Alright. Let's get our two little troublemakers to sleep."
He hesitated for a second, then tossed a black credit card onto the floor near my feet. "If you insist on making a scene, then get out and cool off for a few days. When you're done with your tantrum, I'll come get you."
I bit down on my lip, hard.
I didn't turn around. I just walked out and slammed the door behind me.
Then I pulled out my phone and called the number that had been sitting in my block list for years.
"If I said I regret it now," I asked, "is the offer still on the table?"
On the other end, a man chuckled, a lazy, carefree sound, but his voice held a new weight when he spoke. "I'm still single. Of course it is."
4
It took my lawyer a week to draft the divorce papers and divide our marital assets based on the evidence I provided.
During that time, Ethan didn't call. He didn't come to get me.
But I heard all about him.
He made high-profile appearances at the preschool, joining Nina for parent-child activities. After school, photos surfaced of him wrapping both of them in his oversized coat, shielding them from the wind and snow.
Even though Id braced myself, my heart still ached with a familiar bitterness.
I was always cold. One winter, years ago, I'd playfully slipped my hand into his coat pocket. "Let me borrow some of your warmth?"
Without a second thought, hed pulled my hand out. "I'll have my assistant buy you a hand warmer."
I'd thought he was just shy, uncomfortable with public displays of affection.
Now I knew the truth. It was never about shyness. It was just a lack of love.
His recent public appearances were a calculated move, successfully capturing the media's attention. Headlines like "Trouble in Paradise for Shen Corp CEO?" and "Ethan Shen Rekindles Old Flame" dominated the news cycle for days.
The comment sections were a storm of speculation:
[Isn't she the girl he wanted to marry ten years ago, before the arranged marriage?]
[They were always meant to be together.]
[The one who isn't loved is the third wheel. If his wife hadn't forced her way in, none of this would have happened.]
[He looks so happy with the girl he really loves. They look like a perfect family.]
In the past, whenever rumors of marital trouble had surfaced, Ethan had crushed them before they even went to print. One nosy reporter was run out of the city overnight, never to be seen in journalism again. The family name was everything.
Which meant that now, every one of these articles, every one of these comments, had his tacit approval. He was choosing to direct the narrative, to paint me as the villain, to ensure the woman he cherished wouldn't suffer a single whisper of criticism.
I took a deep, steadying breath. It didn't matter. This sham of a marriage was finally ending.
I went straight to his office. His assistant tried to block my way, head bowed. "Ma'am, Mr. Shen is busy. And you don't have an appointment..."
I just stared at him. He held his ground, sweating.
Just then, Nina emerged from the office, carrying an empty lunchbox. She gave me an apologetic smile, but I could see the triumphant glint in her eyes. "Chloe. Ethan is a little tied up right now."
I ignored her, pushed past, and threw the divorce agreement onto Ethan's desk. "The property's divided," I said coolly. "You get the kid. If there are no issues, sign it."
Ethan turned his head. The words "Divorce Agreement" seemed to burn on the page.
His brow furrowed. "Are you still angry about this? I'm not signing it. Get it out of here."
Beside me, I saw Nina's hand clench, her knuckles white. An unsettling silence filled the room.
Ethan stared at me, his frown deepening. He opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off by a sudden commotion outside.
"Who the hell is that?"
"Somebody stop that lunatic!"
A brutish man stormed into the office, lunged at Nina, and slapped her hard across the face, twice.
"You little tramp!" he roared. "Thought you could run off? I give you everything, and you throw yourself at another man to be his mistress! You filthy..."
After striking her, he turned to me with a sickeningly sweet smile and a nod. "Don't you worry, Mrs. Shen. I'll take her home right now and teach her some manners."
I was stunned.
Ethans face went dark with rage. He glared at me, a vein throbbing in his forehead. "You hired this scum to attack her? You hate her that much?" His voice was a low growl. "Chloe, you're a woman too. Are you trying to drive Nina to her death?"
I clutched the sleeve of my coat, my face draining of color. "Is that really what you think of me?"
Ten years. I thought if there wasn't love, there would at least be a basic foundation of trust.
"Shut up!" he roared, his eyes bloodshot. "Chloe... you make me sick."
He snatched a pen, furiously scribbled his name on the papers, and threw the agreement at my feet.
I bent down, calmly picked it up, turned around, and walked away without a backward glance.
Ethan sat frozen in his chair, his chest heaving, his lips trembling. His eyes darted around the room in frustration.
On the corner of his desk lay a single, snapped red thread.
His pupils contracted. He shot up from his chair, ready to chase me, but just then, Leo came running in from school.
"Daddy, did you get a new car?"
Ethan paused, confused. "...No."
"Oh. But I just saw Mommy get into a wicked-cool red supercar."

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