The Puffer Jacket Split
As I was browsing online, my roommate, Lauren, rushed over and shoved her phone in my face. Ava, let's go in on this puffer jacket together.
Her logic was... something else. You know how I can't stand the cold, so I'll wear it now while the temperature's dropping. Then when it warms up, it's all yours!
I just stared at her. Was she for real? Did she think I was a total idiot?
Before I could even form a refusal, she excitedly hit 'purchase'. "It's the latest model! Four hundred and fifty bucks!" she chirped. "Since I'll be the one picking up the package, I deserve a little something for my trouble. Just Venmo me three-fifty, okay?"
Then came the kicker. "And it's already bought! If you dare back out, I'll have my boyfriendthe Student Government presidentmake sure some of your credits just disappear. You'll never graduate."
I looked at her smug, entitled face and a slow smile spread across mine. "Sure," I said. "Let's split it."
I couldn't wait to see who would be the one not graduating, especially after they tried to threaten and extort me in a university my own father funded.
01
Hearing me agree, Lauren nodded, completely satisfied with herself.
"Summer and spring are way longer than winter," she declared, as if explaining a complex theorem. "That means you'll have it for more time than I will, so you'll be responsible for the dry cleaning, too."
She gave my shoulder a playful shove, her smile blindingly bright. "I'll only be wearing it for a few weeks. See? I'm not taking advantage of you at all. You're getting a great deal!"
My eyebrow twitched. "Who in their right mind wears a puffer jacket when it's warm out?" I asked, my voice flat. "When you give it to me in April, what am I supposed to do with it?"
Lauren's smile vanished, replaced by a scowl. "What's your problem? You were going to buy a new jacket anyway. Alone, it would've cost you $450. With me, it's only $350. It's simple math. Are you dense? I'm doing you a huge favor, and you're still complaining?"
I almost laughed out loud. I was supposed to be grateful for paying a fortune for a jacket I'd never get to wear?
I pretended to mull it over. "Well, if you think I'm getting such a good deal, why don't we switch? I'll wear it when it's cold, and you can have it when it warms up."
Her expression soured even more. "What is wrong with you? I just told you I hate the cold! Are you trying to pick a fight? No, we already agreed. You're not backing out now!"
So that was it. I was officially the designated sucker.
But I wasn't angry. Not really.
After all, the online flagship store she'd bought it from? My family owned it. Not only would I not be losing much, but I already had the perfect plan for teaching her a lesson.
Just then, the dorm room door swung open. Our other roommates, Hailey and Megan, walked in carrying takeout containers. Seeing the tension, Hailey frowned. "What's going on?"
I calmly explained the whole "puffer jacket partnership." I expected them to side with me, to see the sheer absurdity of it.
Instead, Hailey's face hardened as she looked at me. "Lauren's right, though."
"She's only wearing it for a short time, and she's handling the delivery," she reasoned. "It makes sense that she pays less."
"Exactly," Megan chimed in, moving to stand with Lauren. "Besides, you're always so careless and messy. If the jacket gets dirty, it's only fair that you clean it."
At their words, Lauren shot me a triumphant smirk before turning to her new allies. "By the way, I talked to my boyfriend about your applications to the Student Government. He said it's a done deal."
Hailey and Megan were instantly fawning over her, grabbing her hands.
"You're the best, Lauren!"
"We're so lucky to have you as a roommate!"
"I heard Caleb is the Dean's son! Once we're in the Student Government, getting extra credits will be a breeze!"
They chattered on, their faces plastered with sycophantic smiles.
So that's what this was about. Everyone was walking on eggshells around her because of her so-called powerful boyfriend.
But... the Dean has a son? My dad had known the Dean for years, and all I'd ever heard was that he had a daughter studying abroad. Where did this son come from?
Seeing my silence, Lauren shoved her phone in my face again, her Venmo QR code glowing.
"This jacket is this season's hottest item," she urged. "You should be thanking me that you'll even get a chance to be associated with it. Now, pay up!"
As much as I hated sending the money, the thought of the epic meltdown I was about to engineer made it all worthwhile. I pulled out my phone and scanned the code.
The second the $350 transfer went through, Lauren snatched my phone. "Wait! You're short five hundred dollars!"
02
I stared at her, bewildered. "Wasn't it three-fifty? Now it's eight-fifty? Why don't you just ask me to buy you the jacket outright?"
She frowned, crossing her arms. "Ava, everyone knows white is your favorite color, and I specifically ordered the white one for you. That's an extra five hundred."
I laughed, a sharp, humorless sound. "You placed the order. You picked the color."
She looked at me as if she were bestowing a great gift. "Exactly. I went out of my way to choose the color you like. Why are you so ungrateful?"
Hailey nodded sagely from the sidelines. "It's like with cars. You pay extra for a premium color. This is the same thing. Since it's the color you like, you should pay for it."
Megan quickly agreed. "Yeah, Lauren already gave you such a huge discount. Don't be so stingy over a little extra cash."
I looked at them in disbelief. "A little extra cash?"
"Yeah," Lauren said, her arms still crossed. "Your family's loaded, right? It's just five hundred bucks. Are you really going to haggle with me over it? If you couldn't afford it, you shouldn't have agreed in the first place."
Yes, my family had money. But what did that have to do with her? The initial $350 was bad enough. This was pushing it, and suddenly, this little game wasn't fun anymore.
I took a deep breath, my voice turning to ice. "I never said I liked white. And since it seems nobody is happy with this arrangement, let's just cancel the order."
The word "cancel" made Lauren freeze.
Then she grabbed my arm, her voice a shrill cry. "No! It's going to get colder in a few days, we can't cancel it!" she shrieked. "Are you trying to make me freeze to death? How can you be so cruel! If my boyfriend finds out I don't have a decent jacket to wear when it's cold, he'll be heartbroken!"
I rolled my eyes. "He'll be heartbroken? Then tell him to buy it for you. Isn't he the Dean's son? If he won't even shell out for a jacket, it doesn't sound like he loves you that much."
"You!" Lauren's face flushed a deep crimson. "I'm not the kind of woman who asks a man to buy things for her! You might have no shame, but I do!"
I was done. This was beyond ridiculous. I yanked my arm free from her grasp. "Fine. Don't cancel it. In that case, I look forward to its arrival."
Without another word, I walked out of the dorm.
For the next few days, Lauren acted as if nothing had happened. She even had the audacity to ask me to let her copy my homework.
A few days later, I came back from class to find her preening in front of the mirror, wearing the newly arrived puffer jacket. "I'm wearing this to see Ethan tonight," she announced. "He's going to love it!"
Hailey and Megan were practically drooling. "Lauren, with your figure, you look amazing in anything!"
"Caleb will definitely love it!"
A slow, predatory smile spread across my face as I stared at the jacket.
It had finally arrived.
Noticing my silent gaze, Lauren instinctively pulled the collar tighter around her neck. "It's only forty-five degrees today. I'll wear it first. You can wait a few more weeks."
She looked me up and down with a condescending sneer. "Besides, I ordered a size small. It might be a little... snug on you right now. Think of it as motivation. I'm giving you time to slim down. Aren't I nice?"
Hailey and Megan snickered. "From the looks of it, she'll need until next winter!"
"It's fine," Megan added helpfully. "Spring can be chilly too. Just work really hard, and maybe you can wear it then."
I couldn't help but smile back.
"Oh, it won't be that much trouble," I said sweetly.
In a flash, I strode to my desk, pulled a pair of heavy-duty fabric shears from my drawer, and walked toward Lauren.
She stared at me, confused. The next second, there was the sharp, satisfying shhhhrrrrip of tearing fabric. In less than five seconds, I had sliced the brand-new puffer jacket clean in half, right up the middle.
I smiled. "Weren't we 'splitting' the jacket?"
"You get half, and I get half. That's what splitting means."
03
It took a moment for her brain to catch up. Then, Lauren let out a terrified shriek and stumbled backward. "Ah! What are you doing?!"
I held up the two halves, my expression one of pure innocence. "Splitting the jacket. You get half, and I get half."
I pulled the ruined garment off her shoulders, took the shears, and finished snipping through the back. Then I looked up, my eyes wide and guileless. "Do you want the left side or the right side?"
Lauren stared at the bisected jacket, her entire body trembling with rage. Her voice was a strained squeak. "Ava Sterling, you are a psycho!"
"You're the one who ruined it! I don't want it anymore! You owe me money!"
I shook my head, clicking my tongue. "Tsk, tsk. I already paid my share. More than my share, in fact. Did you forget?"
Hailey and Megan finally snapped out of their shock, pointing at me with accusatory fingers. "You just cut up a perfectly good jacket! You're sick!"
"Lauren waited days for that, and you just destroyed it!"
"I bet you were just jealous that she looks better than you!"
I smiled serenely. "So, if we 'split' a pizza, I can eat it all when I'm hungry, and you two can have the leftover crusts when I'm done? Is that how it works?"
"You!" Lauren sputtered, her face turning purple. "You're twisting my words! A jacket isn't the same as pizza!"
"You knew I had a date with my boyfriend tonight! You did this on purpose, didn't you!" she screeched, getting more agitated by the second. "I knew it! You've been after my boyfriend for ages! You're trying to ruin our date!"
"I'm telling you right now," she seethed, "you deliberately destroyed my property! I'm going to tell my boyfriend, and I'm going to tell the student counselor! Just you wait!"
With that, she stormed out, throwing on a plain wool coat. Hailey and Megan shot me venomous glares.
"You're a real idiot, Ava. You just picked a fight with the Student Government president's girlfriend."
"It was just a jacket. You're so petty."
I shrugged nonchalantly. "Today it's a jacket. Tomorrow it might be a luxury handbag. A few days from now, who knows? Maybe a car or a house." I paused, a sweet smile on my face. "Since you two are so generous, why don't you 'split' something with her next time?"
They both stammered, unable to respond.
"Why should we? We don't have money like you."
"Yeah, you're being completely unreasonable!"
With that, they scurried out after Lauren.
Feeling fantastic, I tossed one half of the ruined jacket into the trash. The $350 I lost could be considered a donation to my parents' flagship store. But for Lauren, this was different. She had picked out this jacket for herself, and for her, 0-000 was not a small amount. She probably hated my guts right now.
Sure enough, I had just stepped out of the shower when my phone started blowing up with notifications from the class group chat.
[Ava Sterling, are you mentally unstable? It's bad enough you're always freeloading off your roommates, but now you're destroying their things?]
[Are you that jealous that your roommate bought a nice, name-brand jacket?]
[Pay Lauren back right now! The full $450! Don't you dare short her a penny!]
I dried my hair, a cold smile playing on my lips as messages flooded the screen. Lauren worked fast. In just a few minutes, she had painted me as a jealous, tyrannical, destructive monster.
If she was so eager for social suicide, I was happy to oblige.
I opened the group chat and posted a single screenshot.
04
It was my Venmo history with Lauren. A transfer of $350, clear as day.
[Before anyone else jumps to conclusions, I paid $350 for this jacket. Lauren only paid 0-000.]
[She proposed we 'split' it. She wears it when it's cold, I wear it when it's hot.]
[Last I checked, no one wears a puffer jacket in May. So, I just helped her realize her dream of 'splitting' it. One half for each of us. Perfectly fair.]
The chat went silent for a few seconds.
Then, Lauren immediately responded: [What $350? I never got that. Anyone can photoshop a screenshot! Stop spreading lies!]
[Here's my purchase confirmation. My order. My name!]
[My family isn't rich like yours. I was planning to wear that jacket for years, and now... now you've destroyed it...]
Her crocodile tears worked. The chat erupted again, with students rushing to her defense.
[I knew it. Who would be weird enough to suggest someone wear a puffer jacket in the summer?]
[LOL, who 'splits' a jacket anyway? She's obviously just jealous that Lauren is dating Caleb and made up some crazy story.]
[Yeah, if you're going to lie, at least make it believable!]
I rolled my eyes. I was about to post the audio recording when I discovered I'd been kicked out of the group.
Just then, my phone rang. It was my dad.
"Ava, I heard you had a conflict with a student at school?" he asked, his voice laced with concern. "What happened?"
I was stunned. "How did you know?"
"Your student counselor just called me," he explained. "Said you intentionally damaged another student's property and that I need to come to the university."
It all clicked. Lauren had actually gone to the counselor.
Before I could even explain, my dad was already reassuring me. "It's okay, Ava. I trust you. I know you wouldn't do something like that. I'll be there tomorrow."
"Thanks, Dad..." I murmured.
Suddenly, the dorm room door burst open. Lauren strode in, a triumphant look on her face.
"Ava Sterling. If you give me the money now, I'll consider dropping this," she said coolly. "Four hundred and fifty dollars. Not a penny less. Consider it compensation."
I was about to retort when several people walked in behind her.
It was Ms. Albright, the student affairs counselor, and... Caleb Vance, the Student Government president?
I quickly threw on a jacket. "It's after 9 PM. Isn't it against the rules to bring a male student into the dorms?"
Hailey, standing nearby, let out a derisive snort. "Oh, stop pretending. You've had a crush on Caleb forever. I bet you're secretly thrilled."
Ms. Albright didn't intervene. Instead, she fixed me with a stern gaze. "Ava Sterling, you destroyed a fellow student's private property without cause. You're in no position to talk about rules. Caleb is here representing the Student Government. Do you have a problem with that?"
Caleb looked me up and down, his expression disdainful. "So you're the one who's been bullying Lauren?" he drawled. "Forget about joining the Student Government. Now, apologize to Lauren and pay her what you owe. Immediately."
I let out a cold laugh and sat down. "So, Lauren's courage to extort and threaten students comes from having you two backing her up?"
At that, Lauren threw herself into Caleb's arms and started sobbing. "You see? She doesn't even respect you, the Dean's son! Why would she ever respect a counselor?"
"If she gets away with this, she'll only become more arrogant!"
"The Dean's son?" a voice crackled from my phone's earpiece. It was my dad. "When did old Hayes have a son? Am I missing something?"
I had forgotten to hang up.
Caleb looked at Ms. Albright. "Lauren's right. I can have her credits revoked, but that's not enough."
Ms. Albright gave him a fawning smile, then turned back to me, her face a mask of disgust. "For bullying, violent behavior towards a fellow student, and refusal to offer compensation or an apology, I will be formally recommending your expulsion to the university!"
"Think very carefully about your next move!"
"Expulsion?!" my dad's roar echoed through the phone. "You're going to expel my daughter without even hearing her side of the story? Ha! I'd like to see Dean Hayes try! Ava, don't be scared. Just wait."
The line went dead.
A second later, Ms. Albright's phone rang.
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