Roses Never Fade
I had just slipped into a short skirt when I saw him, leaning against his Porsche just like he always did. He was flashing a lazy smile at the dorm mom.
Come on, just let me in, he wheedled. If my girlfriend sees me standing out here in the cold for too long, shell worry.
My heart did a little flip.
I turned to my best friend, Sophie, and solemnly handed her a gift-wrapped box. Sophie, thank you for putting up with all of Kevins antics while he was trying to win me over.
You wont have to anymore. Im planning to
The words say yes were still on my lips when I walked right into a solid, warm chest.
Kevin glanced down at me, took a half-step back, and his expression turned cold and distant. Excuse me. Can you tell Sophie Im here?
Im picking her up for our date.
1
Kevin was tall, and he looked down at me with the kind of indifference youd reserve for a complete stranger.
My mouth fell open, a question forming, but I was cut off by Sophies voice from behind me.
Chloe, your ID card! She was holding the gift Id just given her, her voice sweet and thoughtful. Didnt you say you werent coming back tonight? Its easier to check into a hotel if you have your ID.
She tilted her head. Oh, and Chloe, that skirt is so pretty on you! But its freezing today. Arent you worried youll catch a cold?
I could feel Kevins gaze burning into the top of my head. I didnt dare to look up. Suddenly, the fabric of the skirt felt like it was lined with needles, and the cold air bit at my bare legs.
Alright, Kevin drawled, leaning casually against the doorframe, an eyebrow arched in amusement. Youre already an hour late for our first date.
He didnt even spare me a glance. His eyes fell to the gift box in Sophies hands, and he froze. The relaxed look on his face hardened again.
Whats that?
Sophie smiled brightly. A gift from Chloe. She said it was
She turned to me, blinking her big, innocent eyes. Why did you get me a gift again, Chloe? I was doing my makeup, so I wasnt really listening.
A sour feeling churned in my stomach. I bit my lip to keep the tears from falling.
In the few seconds I hesitated, trying to figure out what to say, Kevin reached out, took the box from Sophies hands, and tossed it into the trash can by the door with one fluid motion.
He looked away, his arm snaking around Sophies waist as he chuckled softly. Dont clutter your space with junk like that.
Youre my girlfriend now, he murmured, his voice low. You need to remember somethingyou deserve the best of everything in the world.
With that, Kevin leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to Sophies cheek. He watched her blush, then used the opportunity to pull her tighter against him.
I instinctively turned my head away, refusing to watch. I felt like a ghost, completely out of place but with nowhere to go.
The strange, suffocating awkwardness was finally broken when Kevin said my name.
Chloe.
The two syllables rolled off his tongue, just as intimate and possessive as they always had before.
In that instant, I remembered something Kevin had once said: To get you, Id use every trick in the book.
Could it be was he just playing hard to get?
Was this whole thing just an act for my benefit?
The thought gave me a surge of hope, and I lifted my head to meet his eyes.
Chloe? he repeated.
Then, his face perfectly calm, he spoke each word with deliberate clarity. Were going camping tonight.
So dont bother leaving the door unlocked for Sophie.
2
Night fell, and the dorm room emptied out, leaving a profound silence in its wake. My other two roommates hadnt returned from their holiday break yet. I grabbed my takeout delivery and bolted the door.
I was in the middle of packing away the box of love letters Kevin had sent me when his name flashed across my phone screen.
Are you asleep? His voice sounded distant, with the faint whistle of wind in the background. It was hoarse. Sorry, I know you hate it when I call this late.
Hearing that familiar, gentle tone, my hand, which was gripping a beer bottle, froze.
Not yet, I managed to say.
He cleared his throat, forcing a casual tone. I need a small favor.
Sophie posted on her Instagram story a couple of hours ago You never liked it, and shes pretty upset. Shes been crying for a while now.
He took a deep breath, as if bracing himself, and his voice became pleading. I know you dont like me, butfor the sake of the two years I spent chasing you, could you just do this for me?
Sophie says youre her best friend. She really wants your blessing.
Silence stretched after his words.
I could hear the ragged, nervous sound of his breathing, so different from the usual carefree Kevin I knew.
I stared blankly at Sophies empty bed, completely bewildered.
Id never said yes to Kevin because I felt insecure. Our families were from different worlds even though he always insisted that he liked me for me.
Id poured out all of those confused, bittersweet teenage feelings to Sophie more times than I could count.
Dont tell me youre one of those girls who strings a guy along, but then cant stand to see him happy with someone else? Kevins voice turned cold when I didnt answer. Chloe, you cant be that selfish.
Tears blurred my vision, dripping onto the thick stack of letters in my hands. They landed on Kevins strong, elegant handwriting, blurring the words I really like you into a black mist.
Afraid he would hear me choking up, I spoke softly, slowly. Okay. Ill do it.
3
After hanging up, I gathered the empty beer bottles from the floor and shoved them into a trash bag. Then I opened Instagram.
The first thing I saw was Sophies latest post: a picture of the Porsche, its interior overflowing with roses, and Kevin holding up a mountain of luxury shopping bags.
The caption read: Loving someone is like tending a garden. The one who loves you is always afraid theyre not giving you enough.
Kevin looked as handsome and rebellious as ever in the photo.
But the love in his eyes wasnt for me anymore.
The sight was like a knife in my gut.
I quickly liked the post. Then, copying the other comments, I typed: Congrats! Wishing you the best.
I shut my phone off.
I stuck a single french fry into my leftover takeout, pretending it was a candle.
My parents always said my birthday was the day my mother suffered most, so Id never celebrated it. This was the first time I had ever wanted to open my heart to someone. The first time I had ever wanted to celebrate. Id even used a months worth of part-time job savings to buy Sophie that gift.
Whatever.
I closed my eyes and made a wish.
Happy birthday, Chloe.
4
I put the pretty little skirt away in the back of my closet.
And with it, a letter.
A full page, written with all the care in the world.
The one I never got the chance to give to Kevin.
5
To avoid Kevin, I started keeping my distance from Sophie.
I became a loner again, the weird girl in everyones eyes. It felt like I had gone back in time two years. The only difference was that while I had cut off contact with Kevin, his best friend still seemed to enjoy provoking me.
Every time we ran into each other, hed scowl, shove some snack into my arms without a word, and then storm off before I could refuse. Id grit my teeth, accept the expensive treats, and then work extra shifts to save up enough to buy him a men's gift of equivalent value in return.
After Kevin and Sophie made their relationship official, it got even worse.
His friend, Silas, directly gave me a designer down jacket.
I saw the price tag and nearly fainted.
I was about to return it when I discovered the vindictive man had my name custom-embroidered on the inside of the cuff.
I had no choice.
I forced a tight smile and said, Wow, thanks so much.
Then I immediately went to find a second part-time job.
That night, just as I was about to finish my shift at the restaurant, the door swung open.
Hello, sorry, were about to close.
But Kevin, Im really craving this place, Sophies whining voice drifted in. What should we do?
I kept my head down, pulling the brim of my cap lower, praying they would just leave.
But fate had other plans.
Kevin just ran a hand through her hair affectionately and murmured, Alright.
A moment later, after the flash of his fingers on his phone, my manager called to say that I and the kitchen staff would have to stay late.
I took a deep breath, pasted on a fake, professional smile, and walked over to their table.
Hi, are you ready to order?
6
I saw Kevins body go visibly rigid. He didnt look up for a long moment.
It was Sophie who broke the silence, grabbing my arm excitedly. Chloe! You work here! What a coincidence, you should eat with us.
She looked completely harmless and adorable, linking her arm through mine without asking. Kevins paying, so order whatever you want! You
Thats not appropriate, I interrupted softly, pulling my arm free. Everyone else has gone home for the night. Just tell me what youd like, and Ill put the order in with the kitchen.
But the food might take a little longer than usual
Do you have to be like this? Kevins face was dark, and the veins on his forearm stood out below his rolled-up sleeve.
His voice was cold. You and Sophie are supposed to be best friends. Do you have to be so cold and passive-aggressive?
She treats you like a sisteris your heart made of stone?
I had no idea where his anger was coming from, and I didnt want to think about it. I turned away to pour them water, then methodically set their table with silverware. By the time I was done, the tense atmosphere had thankfully dissipated.
I breathed a sigh of relief.
But as I was serving their food, Kevin suddenly noticed a fresh burn on the soft skin between my thumb and forefinger. He stared at it for a second, then his gaze snapped up to mine, his eyes dark and unreadable.
I pretended not to see and quickly walked away.
Throughout their meal, Sophie seemed to find the situation amusing, constantly calling for me in a cheerful voice.
Chloe, can you cut this for me?
Chloe, could you get me a soda?
Chloe, its a little chilly. Can you adjust the thermostat?
I served them diligently.
Until she called out again, Chloe, I saw a pharmacy nearby. Since youre not busy right now, could you run and get me a morning-after pill?
I froze.
I was about to say okay.
But Kevin shot to his feet, his face a blank mask.
Im done eating.
Lets go.
After watching them leave, I collected the fifty-dollar tip the manager gave me for staying late and started clearing the table.
For some reason, the smell of chili in the air was overwhelming.
My nose stung, and my eyes started to water.
7
There wasnt much time for self-pity, though.
To pay back the favor, I bought Kevins friend, Silas, a matching down jacket.
When I dropped it off at his classroom, I thought to myself with grim determination:
This is the last time. In a few months, well graduate and go our separate ways. Ill never have to see him again, and his ridiculous provocations will finally end.
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