Your Apathy, My Farewell

Eighteen years after our divorce, I saw Aiden again at my daughters parent-teacher conference. She was a senior in high school.
The homeroom teacher asked the two of us to stay behind. She slid a letter across her desk, stopping it in front of him.
Mr. Griffin, she said, her tone crisp, this is a love letter your son wrote to Lily. Were in the final stretch of senior year. A romance now is a serious distraction. I trust youll have a firm talk with him when you get home.
Aiden just stood there, his eyes locked on me, completely frozen. He didn't say a word.
The teacher had to clear her throat impatiently before he snapped out of it, stammering apologies.
After the meeting, he caught me in the stairwell. He looked like he wanted to say something, but the words wouldn't come.
Lily shes your daughter? he finally managed.
I gave a polite, tight-lipped nod.
His brow furrowed in disappointment. But you said you told me youd never remarry after we divorced.
He was right. On the day we divorced eighteen years ago, I swore I would never marry again, never have another child.
And I hadn't.
Lily was adopted. She wasn't my biological daughter.
But I didn't feel the need to tell him that.
Mr. Griffin, my life is no longer any of your concern. My voice was sharper now, laced with an impatience I didn't try to hide.
Eighteen years had transformed the dashing boy I once knew into a poised, mature man. But in his eyes, still as handsome as I remembered, a flicker of something Id never seen beforeshame, maybe even regretcrossed his features.
Im sorry, thats not what I meant. I I just wanted to ask if youve been okay all these years
Ive been fine, I cut him off. My gaze shifted past him to the classroom door down the hall. A boy was gently pulling a girl aside, whispering something to her.
My frown deepened. Ignoring the voice at my ear, I strode toward them.
When Lily saw me, she flinched and called out a flustered, Mom, tucking her head down like a turtle.
The boy, however, was surprisingly composed. He straightened up and bowed slightly. Hello, maam. My name is Leo Griffin.
Leo Griffin.
A fine name. The perfect fusion of Aiden Griffin and Isabella, I presumed.
I whispered the name to myself, then offered a faint smile.
I remembered when I was pregnant. Aiden had been ecstatic. He spent an entire night at his desk, poring over names for the two-month-old life inside me.
If its a boy, hed said, well call him Julian. If its a girl, Julia.
Back then, Id dreamed that our child, boy or girl, would have his looks and his spirit.
And now, looking at his son, I could see the resemblance was uncanny.
The boy, Leo, had his fathers easy charm and seemed eager to talk, but I had already taken my daughters arm and was steering her into the river of students flowing down the stairs.
I could feel a burning gaze on my back, but I never once looked back.
On the drive home, Lily was quiet and withdrawn, her eyes fixed on her lap. She knew the teacher had kept me and Leo's father behind. She could guess why.
Its not going to work out between you two, I said, breaking the silence as we waited at a red light. End it. I dont want you seeing him anymore.
Lilys head snapped up, her eyes wide and already shimmering with tears. Mom, I promise, it wont affect my grades
This isnt about your grades.
The light turned green. I pressed the accelerator gently, my voice remaining steady and calm. At your age, a love like this doesnt last. It never ends well.
How can you say that? Her voice cracked, but for the first time ever, she argued back with such force. Grandma told me the man you married he was your high school sweetheart. Your first love.
If you could do it, why cant I?
I fell silent. The rest of the drive passed in a heavy quiet.
I never answered her question.
She never asked again.
It wasn't until we were home that Lily found her courage again, ready to plead her case.
Mom, Leo is so good to me, and I really, really like him. Cant you just stay out of it? I swear I wont let it affect my schoolwork, and I wont do anything reckless.
She looked at me, her eyes shining with conviction. And I know I know we have a real future together.
Girls blinded by their first love all sound the same. Her desperate need to prove the purity of her feelings reminded me of myself, all those years ago, saying the exact same words to my own mother.
That Aiden was good to me. That I loved him more than anything. That we would, without a doubt, have a wonderful future together.
That I was willing to bet my entire life on him.
But I lost that bet.
I lost everything.
Dont be naive. I was just as idealistic as you are now, and you see where it got me.
I just dont want you to make the same mistakes I did.
I sighed, then walked calmly into the kitchen to start dinner. As I rolled up my sleeves, the faint, silvery line of a scar from eighteen years ago appeared on my wrist.
Lilys eyes fixed on it, her expression instantly softening with pain. Mom Im sorry. I shouldnt have brought up the past.
Youve never told me about what happened back then, she said softly. You never wanted to date anyone else or start a new family. Im older now. Can you tell me what really happened?
I want to know.
Shed asked me this so many times over the years.
I always brushed it off, saying Id forgotten, that it was all a distant memory.
But as she asked again today, I realized that every detail, every word from eighteen years ago was etched into my mind as if it were yesterday.
After a moments hesitation, I began to tell her the story I had locked away for nearly two decades.
Aiden and I met during our senior year of high school, too.
Young love is a wildfire.
Back then, Aiden was even more reckless than his son. He was relentless, bringing me breakfast every morning, throwing a punch when anyone dared call me poor, and shamelessly slipping me love letters he'd stayed up all night to write.
His craziest stunt was grabbing the microphone from the principal during a school-wide assembly and declaring his love for me in front of everyone.
The sun was blinding that day, and he seemed to glow under it.
Just like that, Aiden and I were a couple.
A week before our final exams, Aiden got into a fight with a boy from another class. It was in a blind spot for the security cameras. When the boy turned his back, Aiden lunged and broke the guys leg.
When the police came asking questions, I gritted my teeth and confessed. I said I did it. I was detained for ten days, and I missed my college entrance exams.
Hearing this, Lilys face flushed with anger.
So thats why you only have a high school diploma? You took the fall for him and missed your finals.
And him? He just went off and took the exams without a second thought?
I shook my head gently.
When Aiden first found out Id confessed for him, he wanted to turn himself in. But his parents threatened to kill themselves, forcing him to stay.
He had no choice but to take the exams.
The day he visited me in detention, he swore to God that he would get into a great university, make something of himself, and give me a life of happiness.
Aiden was a decent student, and with a bit of luck, he did get into a good university.
To be closer to him, I gave up on the idea of retaking my exams. I moved to his college town alone, working odd jobs to support us both while he studied.
The year he graduated, I got pregnant.
A shotgun wedding. In those days, it was practically a scandal, a source of shame.
But I ignored my parents fury and their pleas, and with a heart full of joy, I married into the Griffin family.
There was no dowry, no limo, no ceremony.
Not even a proper wedding reception.
At this, Lilys eyes flickered. Mom, Ive never heard you talk about having a baby. Was was the baby given to him after the divorce?
My baby?
I instinctively brought a hand to my flat stomach, tracing the space where a life once grew, just as I had done so carefully eighteen years ago. A bitter smile touched my lips.
Shes gone.
She was gone before she was ever born. When I was seven months pregnant.
She was a girl, just like Lily.
If she had lived, she would be in college by now.
Lilys brief shock melted into a deep, aching sympathy. She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around me, holding me tight.
Mom, dont be sad. You still have me.
She pulled back slightly. But she was seven months along. How could you lose her? What happened?
I pulled my sleeve down, covering the ugly scar on my wrist. My voice was flat, devoid of emotion.
It happened the day I found out he was cheating on me. He pushed me.
I fell and lost her.
Cheating?
Lily gasped, her hand flying to her mouth.
You took the fall for him, missed your finals, gave up your own future you did all that for him, and he cheated on you? And he killed your baby?
Who was she? Did you know her? Was she beautiful?
The barrage of questions pulled my mind back into the autumn haze of eighteen years ago.
Just like Lily, my first reaction when I suspected Aiden was cheating was disbelief.
The womans name was Isabella. She was a department head at Aidens company.
She wasn't exceptionally beautiful. In fact, she was seven years older than both of us.
Lilys brow furrowed even deeper. Seven years older? What was he thinking? He had a young, beautiful wife like you and cheated with a woman seven years his senior?
I gave a small, humorless laugh, the knife in my hand never stopping its rhythmic chop against the cutting board.
The memory of the moment I saw his betrayal flashed through my mind. The knife slipped. A bright red bead of blood welled up on my finger.
Lily rushed to find a bandage for me, her voice thick with concern.
Mom, youre bleeding. That must hurt.
I smiled to reassure her. Its just a scratch. It doesnt hurt.
Compared to the wounds of eighteen years ago, a cut like this was nothing.
Back then, Aiden and I were newlyweds, still in the honeymoon phase. His marketing department had weekly celebrations for successful projects, and he often took me with him.
Thats how I met Isabella.
Knowing I was pregnant, she went out of her way to sit with me and take care of me. We exchanged numbers and chatted about girl talk. She was as warm and gentle as an older sister.
I actually liked her a lot. After every party, Id tell Aiden how kind and wonderful she was.
But every time I mentioned her, he would frown.
Whats so great about her? Shes average-looking, has no figure, and shes thirty and still not married.
If it werent for her masters degree and her family connections, she never wouldve made department head so quickly.
You should stay away from her. Shes not as nice as she seems.
I didnt argue with him, but I kept talking to Isabella behind his back, sharing little bits of my life with her.
But then, he stopped taking me to the parties. Your belly is getting too big, its not convenient, became his go-to excuse.
At first, I didnt mind. But slowly, I noticed he was coming home later and later. The "overtime" at work became more frequent.
Fueled by pregnancy hormones, I became a bundle of anxiety, terrified he was going to leave me.
When I told Isabella my fears, she promised me with utter confidence:
Chloe, you just focus on staying healthy for the baby. Ill keep an eye on him for you at the office. I wont let any other woman get near him.
And stop overthinking things. We really are busy at work right now. Hes working late, but so am I. You dont have to worry about him messing around.
I still trusted Aiden, deep down. Her words put my mind at ease.
Until I was seven months pregnant. It was the sixth consecutive night he was working late, and I couldnt stand it anymore.
That night, I brought him a thermos of chicken soup Id made myself and went to his office, my hand supporting my swollen belly.
It was almost ten oclock. The skyscraper was nearly deserted.
I explained who I was to the security guard, and he let me up.
The office floor was dark and silent. Aiden wasnt at his desk. But from one of the offices, the door slightly ajar, a sliver of light escaped, and with it, the faint, intertwined sounds of two people panting.
The sounds were familiar.
I froze, feeling like Id been struck by lightning.
I took a few steps closer, and through the crack in the door, I saw them. Two faces, lost in a passionate kiss. I rushed in without thinking.
In that moment, I had no dignity, no reason. I was a madwoman, screaming at the top of my lungs.
I shrieked at Aiden, demanding to know why he would betray me.
He didn't offer a single word of explanation. He just grabbed a jacket, frantically covering Isabella and shielding her behind him.
The look he gave me wasn't guilt. It was cold, furious anger.
What are you doing, making a scene at my office!
If anyone sees this, how is Isabella supposed to face anyone at work again?
Something inside me snapped. I hurled the heavy thermos at Isabella.
But Aiden shoved me aside. I stumbled backward, my body slamming hard against the sharp corner of a desk before I crumpled to the floor.
He carefully helped a shaken Isabella out of the room, leaving me there on the cold ground.
An agonizing pain seized my abdomen. I was losing strength. I looked down and saw blood seeping through my pants, pooling around me in a grotesque, crimson halo.
The last thing I remember before losing consciousness was the security guard finding me in a pool of my own blood and calling 911.
By the time I reached the hospital, I was hemorrhaging and going into shock.
The hospital tried to call Aiden for surgical consent, but his phone was off. In the end, I had to use the last of my strength to sign the consent forms myself before they wheeled me into the operating room.
My seven-month-old fetus had suffocated, stillborn.
And I had bled so much that my uterus was severely damaged. They had to remove it to save my life.
I told the story calmly, but Lilys eyes were already red.
She sniffled, her voice thick. What happened then?
Then, my mother came to the hospital to take care of me. She kept the hysterectomy a secret and forced Aiden to sign a written promise.
He swore he would never see Isabella again.
Lily looked at me, her expression tense. Did he change?
Change?
A leopard cant change its spots. Of course he didnt.
Just then, there was a knock on the door.
Lily wiped her eyes and went to open it.
Mom, someone sent you flowers. And a big box of pastries from Marilyns Bakery.
She carried the items inside, but as her gaze fell on the card tucked into the bouquet, she froze. Aiden Griffin?
The card read:
Chloe, I thank my lucky stars that we met again after eighteen years. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive the man I was.
Aiden
In telling my story, I had only referred to him as he.
Lilys eyes widened in disbelief, her lips trembling.
Mom your cheating ex-husband hes Leos father?
I hadnt realized she knew Leos fathers full name. My fingers curled into a fist.
Yes. He is.
The color drained from Lilys face.
Right in front of me, she took the bouquet and the box of pastries and threw them both into the trash. Then she went to her room and locked the door, skipping dinner entirely.
One missed meal wont hurt her, I thought. Shell come to her senses. I left her alone.
The next morning, Lily emerged from her room with puffy, red-rimmed eyes. It was clear she hadn't slept.

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