Return to the Sun at Sunset

A year after my breakup with Nathan, we ran into each other at a maternity shop.
He was standing in the formula aisle. When he looked up and saw me, a flash of panic crossed his eyes.
I'm buying formula for my son, he said, his voice a little strained. He's six months old.
Congratulations, I replied softly.
He seemed taken aback. "You don't hate me?"
How could I not?
But in that moment, as I felt the flutter of life in my own womb, the absurdity of my past self became painfully clear. A year ago, he had left me for another woman's pregnancy test, and I had pathetically prayed that I, too, could get pregnant just to keep him.
All that soul-crushing desperation, the feeling that he was the only one for me, now seemed like nothing more than a self-indulgent obsession.
"It's all in the past."

01
After I spoke, I turned to leave.
His hand shot out and grabbed my wrist.
"Thea, wait"
I glanced down at his hand, then gently pulled mine free.
"Is there something you need?"
"It's been a long time. Do you want to grab a coffee?"
He pointed to the corner caf just outside the shop, his tone tentative.
"It's right there. Still the same one you used to love."
He remembered.
I could spend an entire afternoon sipping cappuccinos at that caf, watching the shadows of the sycamore trees from the window seat. We had spent countless weekends thereme reading, him working, occasionally looking up to share a smile that would last for ages.
But that was a long time ago.
So long it felt like another lifetime.
"No, thank you."
I said it quietly and turned toward the checkout counter.
Nathan quickly fell into step beside me, a note of urgency in his voice.
"Thea, you're still mad at me, aren't you?"
"No."
He stopped. "Then why"
"There's just no need."
I cut him off, enunciating each word with calm precision.
"Nathan, there's nothing left for us to say."
His expression shifted, his lips parting as if to argue, but I didn't give him the chance.
I walked past him to the register.
The cashier smiled as she took my basket and began scanning the items with practiced efficiency.
Prenatal vitamins, maternity formula
Nathan stood a short distance away, his gaze fixed on the pregnancy products piling up on the counter, his brow furrowing deeper with each item.
By the time I left the shop, the sky had darkened.
The clouds hung low and heavy, the air thick with the oppressive heat that comes before a storm.
I pulled out my phone to call a car, but the screen lit up before I could.
"Honey, it's about to rain. Where are you? I'll come get you."
His voice was full of warmth and concern, an undisguised affection that made the corners of my mouth lift into a smile.
"I'm at the maternity shop on South Street."
"Stay put. Don't wander off. I'll be there in five."
"Okay."
Just as I hung up, a black Mercedes pulled up to the curb.
Nathan got out and walked over to me.
"Let me give you a ride."
I shook my head. "That's okay. My husband is coming to pick me up."
The moment the word "husband" left my lips, Nathan's pupils contracted.
He stared at me for a few seconds before forcing a complicated smile.
"You're still trying to get back at me."
His voice was filled with absolute certainty.
He thought I was using a fictional "husband" to make him jealous.
He thought I couldn't let him go.
He thought
I didn't bother to explain. I just looked at him calmly.
"You're overthinking it, Nathan."
He acted as if he hadn't heard me, continuing his own monologue.
"Thea, there shouldn't be this much distance between us."
Distance?
I almost laughed out loud.
Who was it that threw a fake marriage certificate in my face and told me coldly, "We were never legally married"?
Who was it that signed the papers to have me committed to a psychiatric hospital when I was at my breaking point?
And who was it that, when I needed him most, chose Ava and the child in her womb?
And now he was saying there shouldn't be distance?
"Nathan."
I looked at him, my voice soft but every word sharp.
"Do you know what creates distance?"
He stared at me, confused.
"Distance is for people who still have feelings left to protect."
I offered a small, empty smile.
"But between you and me, there are no feelings left."
"So it isn't about distance, and it isn't about forgiveness."
"We're just strangers."

02
A year ago, I cut a business trip short to surprise Nathan.
Instead, I walked into a scene that would haunt my nightmares.
In the living room, Nathan's hand rested gently on the swollen belly of another woman.
It was Ava.
My sister.
Both sets of our parents were there.
"Ava is already five months along," Nathan's mother said, her tone laced with reproach.
"When are you going to give her and the baby the legitimacy they deserve?"
Ava quickly shook her head, her eyes welling with tears.
"Please, Mrs. Cole, don't pressure Nate"
She bit her lip, her voice catching in a sob.
"I just wanted to give him a child. He still loves Thea the most."
Nathan's mother sighed, patting her hand. "You're too kind, dear."
My own mother echoed the sigh.
"But a child needs a proper name, a proper family."
She looked at Nathan's father. "What do you think we should do?"
He was silent for a moment before turning to Nathan.
"What are your plans for Thea?"
I held my breath, waiting for his answer.
"We'll keep it from her for now."
"We'll tell her after the baby is born."
In that instant, the keys slipped from my hand and clattered onto the floor.
Every head in the room snapped toward the doorway.
Toward me.
The color drained from Nathan's face. "Thea? What are you You weren't supposed to be back until tomorrow."
Ava stood up, starting toward me. "Sister, let me explain"
"Explain what?"
My eyes were glued to her stomach, the prominent, taunting curve of it. "Explain that you're carrying his child?"
Tears streamed down Ava's face. "Sister, I'm so sorry, I never wanted this, but"
I walked over to her and slapped her, hard.
The sound echoed in the silent room.
Ava cupped her cheek, her eyes wide with disbelief.
Nathan's mother shot to her feet, shielding Ava.
"Thea! Have you lost your mind?"
"She's pregnant! What if you hurt the baby?"
I started to laugh.
A broken, hysterical laugh that brought tears to my eyes.
"I've lost my mind?"
I pointed at myself, then at them.
"Yes, I must be crazy to have let all of you fool me for so long!"
Nathan reached for me.
"Thea, calm down, let me explain"
"Don't touch me!"
I shoved his hand away with a strength that surprised even me.
"Nathan, what right do you have to touch me?"
He froze, his hand suspended in mid-air.
I looked at him, the tears finally breaking free.
"How long were you going to hide it? Until she gave birth? Until the baby had his name on the birth certificate?"
Nathan's lips moved, but no words came out.
His mother stepped forward, her face a mask of disapproval. "Thea, have you made enough of a scene?"
"You can't have children. Is the Cole family line supposed to end with you?"
"Ava was kind enough to help you, and this is how you repay her?"
But I was the one who couldn't have children because I had saved his life.

03
The day Nathan got his driver's license, he was as giddy as a child.
"Thea, I'm taking you for a drive!"
He grabbed my hand, his eyes shining with excitement.
I laughed and agreed.
The entire drive, he talked about our future.
Then, a truck lost control and came hurtling toward us.
It was loaded with steel rebar.
I saw it getting closer and closer.
There was no time to think.
On pure instinct, I unbuckled my seatbelt and threw myself in front of Nathan, shielding him with my body.
The rebar pierced through me.
Pain.
So much pain I couldn't even breathe.
Nathan's face was covered in blood. My blood.
His mouth was moving, shouting something, but I couldn't hear him.
I could only see his tears, falling one by one.
All I could think was, Thank god. Thank god Nathan is okay.
The surgery was a success.
But the doctor's face was grim as he looked at my chart.
"Her uterus is severely damaged. The chances of a natural conception are less than five percent."
In that moment, I saw the expression on his mother's face change.
She quickly pulled Nathan out of the room.
Lying in my hospital bed, I could hear their argument in the hallway.
"What are we going to do"
"The Cole family can't be without an heir"
His father's voice was calm. "Ava is the family's biological daughter. She and Nathan are a much better match, really."
"Enough!"
Nathan's voice cut them off.
He burst back into the room and came to my bedside, taking my hand.
"I told you, I'm only marrying Thea."
His hand was warm, almost feverish, his eyes red-rimmed.
His mother followed him in. "Nathan! You can't"
He cut her off, his voice resolute.
"Mom, Thea took that hit for me."
"Without her, I'd be the one lying in this bed."
"I won't marry anyone else."
He looked at me, his eyes full of conviction.
"Thea, as soon as you're better, we'll get married, okay?"
I nodded, tears streaming down my face.
Back then, I thought he truly loved me.
I didn't know it was all just part of a long deception.
I should have seen the signs.
The day I was discharged from the hospital, Ava moved into their house under the pretext of taking care of me.
She learned to cook Nathan's favorite dishes better than I could.
She learned to brew his father's favorite tea more skillfully than I could.
She even learned to play mahjong with his mother, a game I didn't even know the rules to.
His mother was always praising her. "Ava is such a wonderful girl."
And my own parents would always say, "Thank goodness we found Ava again. What would this family do without her?"
In that house, I was the outsider.

04
My eyes were red as I screamed, my voice raw.
"I will never acknowledge that child!"
"I will make sure that child is forever known as a bastard!"
Nathan stood there, his eyes fixed on me.
"Thea, he's not a bastard."
I froze.
"What do you mean?"
"We have a marriage certificate. Ava is the mistress, which makes the child a bastard"
"The ceremony three years ago was a sham," Nathan interrupted.
"The officiant was an actor I hired."
"Our marriage certificate it's fake."
My mind went blank.
The photos, the official-looking seal, the signatures
All fake?
"That's impossible."
I whispered, "We were we"
Nathan looked at me, his expression unreadable.
"You won't find our names in any official registry."
His mother approached, her voice dripping with false sympathy.
"Thea, don't blame us."
"This is for the good of both families."
"Look, now Ava is having a baby. The Cole family has an heir. Isn't that wonderful?"
Ava hid behind Nathan, whispering, "Sister, I know you're hurting."
"But Nate needs a child."
"I didn't have a choice."
As she spoke, fresh tears rolled down her cheeks, making her look like the victim whose happiness I was trying to destroy.
My parents stood to the side, silent.
I could see a flicker of guilt in their eyes.
But in the end, they chose silence.
Because Ava was their biological daughter.
And I was just the one they had adopted.
"Fake."
I mumbled the word, my voice growing louder.
"It was all fake, all of it"
Nathan reached out to steady me, and I shrieked.
"Don't touch me!"
Like a madwoman, I started grabbing anything I could find and hurling it at him.
Vases, picture frames, teacups
Anything within reach became a projectile.
Ava cowered behind him, watching me with terror in her eyes.
His mother frowned in disgust.
"Has she gone completely insane?"
Insane?
Maybe.
Maybe I really was insane.
How else could I have been foolish enough to believe him for three years?
How else could I have believed I actually had a family?
Nathan lunged forward and wrapped his arms around me. The next day, I was admitted to Spring Mountain Psychiatric Hospital.
At first, he would visit.
Then, his visits became less and less frequent.
During that time, I even started to hallucinate.
I kept thinking I had a child.
Maybe if I had a child, I could pathetically hold on to Nathan.
My phone buzzed, pulling me from the memory.
A message from my doctor with my latest ultrasound report.
8 weeks gestation, fetal development is normal.
I smiled and saved the report.
It reminded me of how I once carefully saved a marriage certificate.
A certificate that turned out to be a lie.
But this report was real.
My marriage is real.
And the baby in my womb is real.
The doctor's "less than 5% chance" had become a reality.
It wasn't a miracle.
It was Wyatt. He found the best traditional medicine specialists in the country, and for a year, they painstakingly helped me heal. It was Wyatt who spent a whole year convincing me that I could still have a complete life.
"Thea."
Nathan opened his mouth, but before he could speak, a black Maybach glided to a stop beside us.
The door opened, and Wyatt stepped out.
He walked straight to me, pulling me behind him and shielding me from Nathan's gaze with his own body.
"Mr. Cole," he said, his voice dangerously low. "Please stay away from my wife."

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