Love and Hate Are Too Luxurious

Two years in a cell, sent there by my own wife. The moment I got out, I changed my name and fled the country.
Seven years later, we met again before my sisters gravestone.
Our eyes locked. She froze, the cloth in her hand hovering over the cold marble. A storm of emotions I couldn't decipher flashed across her faceshock, elation, guilt
"Paul," she breathed. "I've been looking for you for years. I thought I thought you were gone, too."
Her voice trembled. "Where have you been? Why didn't you ever call me?"
When I said nothing, she quickly dabbed the corner of her eye. "You've been avoiding me on purpose, haven't you? You still hate me for what happened back then. But you have to understand, I had no choice."
I couldn't fathom how she had the audacity to say those words in front of my sister's grave. Not after shed orchestrated my sister's death, stolen her husband, and driven me to the brink of utter ruin.
But love and hate are luxuries I can no longer afford.
To me, she was nothing.

1
With a final, lingering look, Linda turned and walked away.
I knelt, placing the bouquet of snow-white chrysanthemums before the headstone. In the photograph, my sister, Amelia, was forever twenty-five, her smile warm, her eyes clear and full of light.
If she were still here, she would have been at the airport to pick me up today. She would have ruffled my hair, just like she always did when we were kids.
"Hey, kiddo, why the long face?"
No. If she were still here, she never would have let them bully me into leaving in the first place.
I crouched lower, my fingertips gently tracing the curve of her smile etched into the stone.
"Amy," I whispered, "I have some good news"
Before I could finish, Linda returned, holding out a heavy-looking gift bag.
"I promised you Id make you a gift for your birthday, every single year," she said, her voice soft. "I couldn't find you, so I saved them all."
Inside were an electric razor, the latest gaming console, a designer watch I could tell shed put thought into them.
I remained unmoved.
Her hand hung awkwardly in the air, a flicker of hurt and embarrassment on her face. "You don't like them? I can have my assistant get something else. We could we could have lunch?"
"No, I have plans."
She started to protest, but her phone buzzed. "Linda, when are you coming back?" a man's voice demanded from the speaker. "It's our seventh wedding anniversary today. I've already booked the restaurant"
My fingers paused as I brushed a fallen yellow leaf from Amelias name.
This, Amy, I thought, is the man you once saved, the man you gave everything for.
You saw him all wrong.
And I trusted him all wrong.
A sudden tickle in my throat forced a pair of dry coughs from me.
"Linda, where are you? Who is that? Is there a man with you?"
She hung up without a word and pulled a disposable mask from her coat pocket, offering it to me. "Your allergy to the cold air it always makes you cough in the fall. You should wear one of these."
I turned my head away. "I'm over it now."
After a final goodbye to my sister, I walked toward the cemetery gates. Linda hurried to catch up, her presence a clinging shadow I couldn't shake. I didn't understand. Seven years ago, she had warned me to never show my face to her again. Now, she was stuck to me like glue.
A rack of city bikes stood by the entrance. I scanned a QR code and unlocked one. Just as I was about to push off, her Mercedes pulled up smoothly beside me.
"Paul," she asked, a fragile, hopeful light in her eyes under the autumn sun, "have you been alone all these years?"
I nodded once, offering no explanation. The truth was, Id come back to tell my sister that I was getting married. That was a joy I was willing to share only with her.
"Paul, don't try to be strong all by yourself out there. If you ever need anything, please, call me." She rushed the words out. "My number is still the same. I never changed it. I was so afraid that if you ever wanted to reach me, you wouldn't be able to find me."
A bitter smile tugged at my lips. Ironic, wasn't it? The very person who had severed every tie between us, who had wished me out of her life forever, was now playing the part of a devoted, long-suffering lover.
"No thanks," I said, my voice flat. "I'm not interested in getting tangled up with a married woman."
I pushed down hard on the pedal, and the bike carried me away, down the long path paved with golden gingko leaves. The wheels rustled over them, a sound that echoed with ghosts of the past.
I knew this path better than my own reflection. As kids, Amy and I would come here for morning runs, for bike rides. She was better than me at everything, except running. I would always slow down to let her catch up, and shed mess up my hair, laughing as I pretended to be annoyed. She used to say that even when we were eighty, wed still be here, arm in arm, walking this path and enjoying the sun.
But now, I was two years older than she would ever be.

2
I rode all the way back to the old apartment building where my sister and I had lived. It had been empty ever since she died.
The rusty security door groaned open, and a wave of stale, forgotten air hit me. On the living room wall hung a photograph of four people, veiled in a thick layer of dust.
It had always been just me and my sister, two orphans against the world. Then, when I was sixteen, Linda burst into our lives. She said Amelia had saved her from drowning, had given her a second chance at life. She swore to be Amelia's best friend forever.
From the start, Linda and I were like oil and water, always bickering over the smallest things. That all changed on our senior trip, when a mudslide hit the resort. Our classmates were picked up by their parents, but my sister was away on a business trip, too far to reach me.
A torrent of mud and debris swallowed the hotel.
I was trapped under a collapsed beam, waiting for death to take me. But Linda, ignoring the chaos and the danger, ran back into the wreckage. She dug with her bare hands from dawn till dusk.
"Paul, don't be scared! I'm here!"
She carried me on her back for what felt like an entire night. It wasn't until we reached the hospital that I realized she'd lost both her shoes. Her feet were a mess of raw, water-logged cuts. Her perfectly manicured nails, her pride and joy, were broken and bloody.
"You idiot, what are you crying for?" she had said, grinning through her exhaustion. "As long as you're okay, I'd do it again in a heartbeat, even if it crippled me!"
In that moment, her smile was brighter than any spring day.
Then came Leo. It was New Year's Eve, and the three of us were making dumplings when he showed up at our door, a wreck of a man. He was the son of an old neighbor; his family had gone bankrupt, and he was hiding from loan sharks. Amelia, ever the soft heart, remembered his family once giving us a bowl of hot porridge. Without a second thought, she took on all of his burdens.
She quit her stable, respectable job and threw herself into the ruthless world of business, drinking herself into the ER with a bleeding stomach and cheating death more than once. In two years, she lost thirty pounds, paid off all of Leo's debts, and won his heart.
We raised our glasses together, the four of us, and swore wed be a family forever, that we would never be separated.
I was lost in the memory when the sound of a key turning in the lock jolted me back to the present. The door swung open, and there they were. Leo and Linda.
I had forgotten. We each had a key to this place.
"Linda told me you were back," Leo said, forcing a smile. "We figured you'd be here. You should have told us you were coming; we would've picked you up."
He moved to clap me on the shoulder, but I sidestepped him.
"You can't stay here," he continued, gesturing around the dusty apartment. "Come back with us. Our housekeeper is on vacation, so we have a spare room."
I looked down. My fiances family lived right here in the city. I was only here to see my sister, and later tonight, I was meeting my future mother-in-law for the first time.
I held out my hand. "The key."
This apartment was my sister's, but the deed was in my name. It had nothing to do with either of them.
Lindas gaze flickered to the old photograph in my hands, her expression unreadable. "Paul, if Amelia were here, she would want to see the three of us getting along."
Leo looked away, unable to meet the eyes in that picture.
Ignoring me, Linda walked in, took off her coat, and rolled up her sleeves. She grabbed a broom from behind the door. "Leo, go open the windows. Let's get some air in here."
For a dizzying moment, it was like stepping back in time. The four of us, gathered here. Amelia would cook, Leo would help, and Linda would clean. I would be the one giving useless directions. The small apartment used to echo with our laughter. Now, only a heavy silence remained.
I wiped down the table and carefully placed Amelias memorial portrait on it. In the photo, her smile was so gentle. I never imagined this would be how the four of us reunited.
Suddenly, Leo lunged forward and slammed the portrait face down on the table.
"What are you doing, putting that up for?" he snapped, his voice tight with panic.
Seeing his frantic expression, a cold smirk formed on my face. So, he could feel guilt. He didn't have the courage to face my sister's clear, honest eyes.
"Paul, Leo is just worried about you," Linda said softly. "After all, someone someone died here."
"And you two know better than anyone how my sister died, don't you?"
The broom clattered from Lindas hand, the sound echoing in the dead quiet of the room, broken only by the wind whistling outside the window.
The year after my sister and Leo got married, everything changed.

3
Amelia's business was booming, and she was constantly flying all over the country. The day she secured her first round of angel investment, she was so ecstatic she took us all out for a celebratory dinner.
Halfway through the meal, she got a call from Linda, who hadn't joined us.
"Amy, I'm in trouble," Linda cried over the phone. "Some guys have me cornered at a bar."
Without a second's hesitation, Amelia dropped her chopsticks and ran out.
She never came back whole.
Protecting Linda, Amelia was struck in the back of the head with a liquor bottle. By the time Leo and I reached the hospital, she had the mental capacity of a five-year-old child.
She had forgotten everyone and everything, except me. Her little brother.
My world collapsed.
While grappling with my own grief, I tried to push Leo away. "When Amy was herself, she loved you more than anything," I told him, my heart breaking. "She wouldn't want you to waste your life on her now. As her brother, I'm making the decision for her. You two should get a divorce."
Leo gripped Amelias hand, tears streaming down his face as he shook his head fiercely. "I will never leave her. Never. Not even in death."
His devotion was absolute. In a moment of naive gratitude for his loyalty, I signed over all inheritance rights to Amelias company to him.
Linda, consumed by guilt, locked herself in her room, drinking herself into oblivion. It was Leo who finally kicked her door down and doused her with a bucket of cold water.
"If you want to make things right with Amelia," he yelled, "then you'll get your ass up and help me protect her company and this family!"
From that day on, Linda became a different person. She joined the company and shouldered the burden of caring for us all.
At the time, I was drowning in grief and uncertainty. Linda's constant presence and support became my only lifeline. We got married, and by my sister's hospital bed, she swore she would take care of me for the rest of her life, just as Amelia would have wanted.
Linda's phone rang, pulling me from the depths of my memories.
Leo, as if desperate to escape the past, suddenly became talkative. "Don't be mad at Linda," he said, a smug tone creeping into his voice. "She's the CEO of a publicly-traded company now. She's a very busy woman." He rolled up his sleeve, deliberately flashing a limited-edition vintage watch. "She got this for me last month for my birthday. Flew to an auction in Paris to get it."
Linda ended her call. "What are you two talking about?"
Leo took her hand, his touch sickeningly affectionate. "I was just saying, Paul's clothes look a little worn. I'll pick out a few of my old suits for him later."
My voice was devoid of all emotion. "Don't bother. I wouldn't want anything you've touched."
Leo's face turned ugly. "What's that supposed to mean?"
I met his gaze directly. "You know exactly what it means."
If it hadn't been for that night, for that "accident," it should have been my sister standing here now, successful and triumphant.
Amelias descent into a childlike state was a wound in my heart that would never heal. But life had to go on. In the darkest hours of the night, I would find a sliver of comfort, thankful that Amelia had left me with two people who were closer than family.
The night before I left for grad school, Linda promised me again and again that she would take perfect care of Amelia. Lost in despair, I clung to her words like a drowning man to a raft. I believed her.
And at first, she was flawless. She seemed determined to give me all the love Amelia no longer could. Every two weeks, she would fly to my city, terrified I might be feeling lonely or neglected.
"Paul," she would say, her eyes shining, "the day the first snow falls, we'll have our wedding. We'll be the happiest couple in the world."
The city where I studied was known for its year-round warmth, but that winter was unusually cold. The forecast predicted the first snow in fifty years would fall on Christmas Day.
I used the money I'd earned from a part-time job to buy a diamond ring. I secretly bought a ticket home, planning to surprise them.
But when I opened the door to our home, the surprise was mine.
There was my sister, chained to a radiator, emaciated and frail.
And in front of her, on the floor, were two naked, writhing bodies.

4
A glacial cold seized me. I trembled, bile rising in my throat. I didn't know what was worse: the fury over how they'd abused my sister, or the sickening sting of their betrayal. The two most important people in my life had betrayed me, together.
My mind went blank. But Amelia, in her fog, saw me first.
My sister, who had always been so meticulous about her appearance, was now filthy, her hair a matted nest. She held out a dirty, stale bread roll to me.
"P-aul eat"
The tears Id been holding back for months finally broke free. I lunged forward, a guttural roar ripping from my chest, and swung my fist at Leo's face with all my strength.
He shrieked, scrambling to his knees before me. "Paul, I know I've wronged you! I've wronged Amy! But I'm not even thirty yet! I can't spend the rest of my life tied to a to an invalid!"
But I had offered him his freedom. He was the one who had sworn he would never leave her. Did he think he could have it all?
"Linda and I we're in love," he stammered. "I won't challenge your position as her husband, I swear. I'll take good care of your sister, I promise. Just just let me stay with Linda. The four of us can still be together, can't we?"
My sister had always shielded me from the world's darkness. This was the first time I had come face-to-face with such vile, selfish treachery.
I raised my hand to strike him again, but Linda slapped it away.
Amelia, terrified by the commotion, began to wail. But a primal instinct took over. She threw her frail body against the iron chain, again and again, until with a sickening crack, her ankle snapped and she broke free.
Dragging her broken leg, she threw her arms around me, shielding me with her own body.
The wooden stool Linda hurled at me crashed down on Amelia's head instead.
Warm blood soaked my hands.
Numb with shock, I fumbled for my phone to call for an ambulance. But Linda, now dressed, calmly walked over and crushed it under her heel.
I had seen her mischievous, happy, and guilty. But this was the first time I had seen such cold, calculated cruelty in her eyes.
"If you want this idiot to live," she hissed, "you will shut your mouth. Your position as my husband is secure. I'll even get the best doctors for your sister. But you will never, ever mention what you saw between Leo and me again."
My poor, confused sister didn't understand what was happening, but she clumsily tried to wipe away my tears. "P-aul, don't cry Amy's here"
I surrendered.
After their initial panic, Linda and Leo became brazen. Rumors of their affair spread through our social circle. People called them ungrateful parasites. The scandal even threatened the company's plans to go public.
Then, the most important thing happened: Linda got pregnant.
She came to me with a demand. She wanted a divorce, and she wanted me to publicly confess that my sister and I were the third parties who had ruined her relationship with Leo.
"Paul, if you let your pride get in the way," she threatened, her voice chillingly calm, "you will never see Amelia again."
She wasn't bluffing. I searched everywhere, but my sister was gone.
Defeated, I knelt before her like a stray dog.
In front of countless media cameras, I bowed my head and confessed my "sins," publicly apologizing to her and Leo.
"It was Amelia who drugged Leo and seduced him. It was me who deliberately sabotaged their love"
As I read the confession they had written for me, a script full of twisted lies, my first instinct was to run. But Linda leaned in close and played a voice recording from her phone. It was Amelia, her voice weak and slurred.
"P-aul so cold"
I bit down so hard I thought my teeth would crack, and I read every last word.
The crowd stared at me with contempt, disgust, and morbid curiosity.
I don't know how I left that press conference. All I wanted was to see my sister, to know she was safe. But a nurse at the care facility told me that Amelia had seen the video of me kneeling. She had become agitated, demanding to go find me, and had slipped away.
The next time I saw my sister, she was a cold, lifeless body in the morgue.
She was covered in filth, her body broken. Clutched in her hand was a crumpled paper airplane, a toy I had loved as a child.
I beat the homeless men who had assaulted her until they were bloody, but it didn't change anything. I would never hear her call my name again.
I held her body and sobbed until I had nothing left.
Meanwhile, my phone lit up with headlines celebrating the fairy-tale romance of tech-world darlings Linda and Leo.
How could I not hate them?
I arranged my sisters funeral alone. With a fruit knife tucked in my pocket, I went to their company's IPO ceremony, ready to take them down with me.
I burst in, but I was too naive. Before I could even get close, security guards had me pinned to the floor. In front of all the cameras, I screamed the truth, crying out about their shamelessness, hoping to ruin them.
But I was no match for them.
"He's suffering from a mental breakdown due to his sister's passing," Linda announced calmly to the press. "We are so sorry for the disturbance. I promise, we will ensure he never has the opportunity to harm anyone again."
They had all the power and resources they needed to crush a powerless orphan like me.
I was charged with assault and sent to prison.
When I was released two years later, the world had moved on. Linda was the revered CEO of a major tech corporation. I couldn't even get past the front gate of her company campus, let alone get my revenge.
Linda opened her mouth to say something, but my phone rang.
"Paul, I'm here."
A warmth spread through my chest, and I jogged downstairs to meet her.
As I led Maya up the stairs, I could hear arguing from inside the apartment.
"Why? Why are you just giving him half the shares?" It was Leo's voice, shrill with anger.
"Your eyes have been glued to him since he walked in! Am I invisible to you?"
"If you ever go near him again, I swear, I can have him thrown back in prison, and this time"
The sound of a sharp slap cut him off.
"The company belonged to his sister in the first place!" Linda's voice was laced with fury. "It was Amelia who took you in when you were homeless, who paid off your debts! Without her, you'd be rotting in a gutter somewhere! After everything we did to him, aren't you afraid Amelias ghost will come back to haunt you?"
Hearing them mention my sister filled me with a sudden, weary disgust.
I pushed the door open. They both fell silent.
Lindas eyes fixed on the woman whose hand was intertwined with mine. Her voice was a raw whisper.
"Who is she?"
"My fiance."

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