Today’s Love Quota Exceeded

1
In our house, everything had a price tag.
A goodnight hug from Mom was one dollar.
Dad spinning me in the air for three minutes was five dollars.
I kept a careful record of these transactions in my head, then paid them, coin by coin, from my little teddy bear purse.
Dad said it was to teach me to be independent and to never take anything for granted. He called it "paying your way."
The thing I feared most wasn't monsters in the dark.
It was Dad looking at the bill and saying, Willow, youve overspent on affection today.
I tried so hard to save up, to buy more and more love.
Until the day a strange man offered me a piece of candy in a shiny wrapper.
I habitually asked him how much it cost. He said it was free; all I had to do was walk with him for a little while.
...
My teacher, Mrs. Davis, gave me a shiny star sticker.
It glittered on the back of my hand like a real star.
All the other kids held up their stickers for their moms to see, but I didn't. I carefully peeled it off and hid it in my pocket.
My little hand clutched my pocket all the way home, my mind racing with calculations.
Dad had taught me that its value needed to be assessed, then used to offset my "educational expenses."
How much was it worth? A dollar? Two?
I was nervous. If I priced it too high, Daddy would call me dishonest. But if I priced it too low, it felt like I was disrespecting my teachers praise.
When I got home, Mom was mopping the floor.
I ran to her and fumbled inside my faded little teddy bear purse, finally pulling out a single coin. I held it out to her.
"Mommy," I whispered, "I want to buy a hug."
Something flickered in her eyes, but it was gone as quickly as it came.
She straightened up and opened her arms.
I stepped into them.
One second.
Two seconds.
She let go.
She took the coin from my hand and dropped it into a glass jar on the kitchen windowsill. A thin layer of coins already covered the bottom.
My father, Arthur, was sitting on the sofa. He glanced up, then tapped something into his phone.
What did you accomplish at school today? he asked, his eyes still glued to the screen.
My heart pounded as I pulled the star sticker from my pocket and handed it to him.
He took it without a word of praise, snapped a picture with his phone, and uploaded it with a note: "Return on Educational Investment (ROEI): Non-monetary asset x1. Estimated value: $2. To be deducted from educational expenses."
I breathed a sigh of relief. My estimate was close.
Just then, the doorbell rang. Mom answered it. My aunt Claire and my cousin Leo were standing on the porch.
Elara! my aunt cried, sweeping me up from the floor and planting a huge kiss on my cheek. Oh, my sweet girl, Ive missed you so much!
I froze.
Aunt Claires hug was warm.
It wasn't fast like Moms.
And I knew Dad wasn't timing it in his head.
But but this hug was too expensive.
I squirmed out of her arms and hid behind my mother, clutching her dress.
Mommy, Aunties hug how much do I have to pay? I dont have enough money. Can I owe you?
The smile vanished from my aunts face. She stared at me, then at my parents, her expression one of pure disbelief.
My cousin Leo, a year older than me, didnt understand the sudden shift in mood.
He ran over and pushed his Transformer into my hands. Here, Willow! You can play with this!
I recoiled as if Id been burned, clutching my teddy bear purse to my chest.
I cant just take things from you.
Arthur! Elara! Look at what youve done!
Aunt Claire finally exploded, her finger trembling as she pointed at my parents.
Are you insane? Youre turning a child into a monster! This is a home, not a corporation!
My father adjusted his glasses.
You dont understand, Claire, he said calmly. This is a progressive parenting philosophy. Were cultivating her independence, teaching her the value of things. It will give her a competitive edge later in life.
Independence? A competitive edge? My aunt laughed, a harsh, bitter sound. Shes four years old! What she needs is unconditional love, not a damn quid pro quo!
My mother tugged on her sisters arm.
Its okay, Claire, please. This is our way. Dont interfere.
Aunt Claire looked at my mother, her eyes filled with disappointment.
The argument ended, as it always did, in a tense stalemate.
As my aunt was leaving, her eyes shimmering with tears, she knelt down and secretly pressed a piece of candy into my hand.
The wrapper was so shiny, more beautiful than anything I had ever seen.
She lowered her voice. Listen to me, Willow. What your aunt gives you is love.
Love, sweetheart. Love is free.
I clutched the candy, lost in a profound confusion.
Love is free?
That night, I came down with a fever.
My body was a war of ice and fire.
I felt miserable.
I wanted to call for my mom, but I didn't dare.
I quietly opened my teddy bear purse.
Inside were only two coins and a few "love coupons" I had drawn myself.
I was sick. Mom taking care of me would cost "fees," and nighttime service would definitely be more expensive.
I didn't have enough. I couldn't afford it.
I was scared of "going into debt." Daddy said debt was a shameful thing.
So I wrapped myself tightly in my blankets, clutching the candy from my auntthe only free thing I ownedand willed the morning to come.
The next day, when Mom came to wake me, she touched my forehead and gasped.
Her hand was cool and felt good against my burning skin.
But Dads first reaction was to pull out his phone and open the accounting app.
Estimated pharmacy costs, eighty dollars. My delivery fee, calculated at minimum wage, is twenty dollars. Total, one hundred dollars. Elara, you need to transfer fifty dollars to the family medical emergency fund.
Arthur, just go get the medicine! Shes burning up! Moms voice was choked with tears.
The rules must be followed, he insisted.
They started arguing at my door.
Words like "cost," "payment," and "unfair" floated through the wood.
It was my fault. By getting sick, I had spent too much money. I had caused a "deficit" in our family.
I was a bad asset.
I climbed out of bed and ran to them on bare feet.
I took my teddy bear purse, with all my assets inside, and the piece of candy I had been saving, and pushed them all into my mothers hands.
Mommy, Ill pay you back, I cried. Please dont fight. I wont I wont get sick anymore.
My mother looked at the pathetic offering in my hand, then at my flushed, feverish face.
Suddenly, she broke.
For the first time ever, she screamed at my father. Arthur, look! Look what youve done to our daughter!
It was the first time I had ever seen her fight back.
A tiny part of me felt happy.
Dad was stunned by her outburst.
His eyes fell on the imported candy in my hand, and his expression turned even colder.
This is your sisters fault. Her interference has confused Willows values! This must be corrected!
The "correction" was a new, more detailed "Family Contribution and Reward Chart."
Dad taped it to the wall.
It read:
Wipe the table: 2 points.
Arrange the family's slippers: 3 points.
Buy something from the corner store alone: 5 points
And a bedtime story cost 10 points.
To earn a story, I had to stand on my tiptoes, using all my strength to wipe down the dining table that was taller than me.
One day, Dad sent me to the corner store to buy a bottle of soy sauce.
He gave me the exact amount, not a penny more, not a penny less.
Outside the store, I saw a strange man giving candy to the other kids.
The wrappers were shiny and bright, just like the one my aunt had given me.
Her words echoed in my head: "Love is free."
The smile on the man's face looked a little like my aunt's smile.
I watched him, and the strange, warm feeling fluttered in my chest again.
That night, my parents got into another huge fight over a two-dollar discrepancy in the electricity bill.
I hid behind my bedroom door, listening to them yell about "losses," "unbalanced books," and "unfairness."
It was me. I had consumed too much love.
I had made this family run at a loss.
I had to earn money for them. I had to fix the deficit.
I had to go out and find that free love and bring it home.
The next morning, the house was silent.
Mom and Dad were in a cold war, not speaking to each other.
There was no breakfast on the table, no one in the living room.
This only strengthened my resolve to go out and "earn."
I got dressed and put on my teddy bear purse. Inside were my two coins and my "love coupons."
I also brought the candy from my aunt, the one I still hadn't eaten.
These were my total assets, my proof of credit.
At the front door, I hesitated, looking back at the quiet house.
I whispered to the empty air, Daddy, Mommy, Im going to earn money for our family.
Then I turned the knob and walked out.
I walked from memory, back to the community garden where I had seen the strange man.
I was in luck. He was there again. When he saw me all by myself, his eyes lit up, and a friendly smile spread across his face.
He walked toward me and pulled a piece of candy from his pocket.
It was even bigger than the one my aunt gave me. The wrapper was gold foil with a cartoon bear on it. It was the most beautiful candy I had ever seen.
He held it out to me. Here you go, little one. This is for you.
I took a step back. I had been raised well. I couldn't just take things from people.
I looked at him warily and asked, in a serious voice, "Mister, how much does this candy cost?"
This was the most important rule Dad had taught me.
The man paused for a second, then a look of understanding crossed his face.
He played along. This candy is special. It doesn't cost money. But you do have to help me with something.
I understood immediately.
It was a "labor for payment" transaction.
Just like wiping the table to earn a bedtime story. It was fair.
I nodded seriously. "Okay. What do you need help with?"
The man smiled. Im lost, and I can't find my way home. If you walk with me and help me find my mommy, this candy is yours.
I didn't doubt him for a second.
I obediently put my small hand in his big, warm one.
I was even a little happy. I was about to "earn" such a beautiful piece of candy.
I could bring it home and show Daddy and Mommy that I wasn't making them run at a "loss."
And so, we walked, step by step, out of the neighborhood.
The sun felt warm on my face.
By evening, the cold war in my house had finally ended.
It wasn't until my mother went to make dinner that they realized I was gone.
At first, they thought I was hiding in a closet or playing at a neighbor's house.
They searched everywhere and asked everyone. No one had seen me.
Panic began to set in. My mother called my aunt Claire.
The moment my aunt heard, she knew something was wrong and urged them to call the police.
My father was still complaining that it was an overreaction, even muttering that he wondered if they would have to "pay" for the public resources wasted if the police couldn't find me.
Just then, my mother found a small note under the doormat.
It was a crayon drawing I had made. In it, a little girl was giving a huge bag of gold coins to her parents. Beside it, in my wobbly, newly-learned handwriting, were three words: "Gone to earn."
I felt myself getting lighter, like a feather, floating up.
It was very dark, and my body didn't hurt anymore, but I wasn't scared. Just a little cold.
I saw a version of "me," wearing my clothes, lying on a cold metal table.
The man who gave me the candy was talking to another strange man. This batch of goods is high quality. You can settle the bill now.
I didnt understand what they were talking about, but I had completed my "payment" for the golden candy.
Maybe, just like in my drawing, I had even "earned" a lot of money for my family.
When Dad and Mom saw the final invoice, they would be so happy.
I missed my mommy.
As soon as I had that thought, I was floating again, passing through walls, back in my house.
It was still quiet. Mom and Dad were sitting on the sofa, not speaking.
I saw the drawing Id left by the door, the wobbly words"Gone to earn."
I was happy. Soon they would know I had contributed to the family.
I saw my mother find the note. Her face turned white, whiter than the walls.
I didn't understand. Why didn't she look happy?
She grabbed my fathers hand, her voice a sound I had never heard before as she screamed "Call the police!"
My father's expression was strange, too. For the first time, he threw his phone with the accounting app onto the sofa.
I floated along with them to a place with lots of men in uniforms.
I heard my parents describe me to a police officer, telling him how I loved "paying my way," how I loved "transactions," and how I always carried my teddy bear purse. The officer's face grew very serious.
I felt a little proud.
See? Even grown-ups I didn't know understood my rules.
Then my face appeared on a screen.
I saw myself holding the man's hand, getting into a white van.
Mom and Dad suddenly became very agitated.
I was happy, too. Were they coming to pick me up from "work"?
But then a phone rang, and the police officer said the license plate was fake.
My mother started to cry. My father punched the wall.
I floated over to my mom, wanting to give her a hug like my aunt would, but my hands passed right through her body.
For the first time, I felt confused.
Why were they so sad?
Didn't I go to "earn"? Shouldn't this be a happy thing?
Aunt Claire arrived, and the house was thrown into chaos.
Dad kept increasing the reward money online, mumbling, Any amount, Ill pay it, Ill pay it!
I looked at the numbers, more than all the money in my teddy bear purse and all my "love coupons" combined, multiplied by a million.
Daddy was this rich?
Then why did he make me pay for a hug?
The phone rang again. A girl who looked like me had been found in the next city.
I "floated" beside the car as my parents raced there.
I heard my mom sobbing in the car, saying that when they found me, she would never keep accounts again, that she would buy me the most beautiful dresses in the world and all the candy I ever wanted.
A warm feeling spread through me. So, completing such a big "deal" could earn so many "rewards."
But the girl wasn't me.
I saw my mother let out a terrible, keening sound.
Dad held her, and my calm, rational father was crying, too.
I floated beside them, and for the first time, I felt their sadness.
Just when they were at their most desperate, the police officer called them over.
I followed them into a small white room.
The first thing I saw was my little jacket, my favorite one.
Except it was covered in red, like when I accidentally spilled my red paint.
Next to it was the wrapper from the golden candy I had "earned."
I was so happy! It was my "proof of transaction." They had found it!
Now they would know I had completed the deal.
When my mother saw the jacket, her eyes rolled back, and she collapsed. Dad caught her just in time.
I desperately wanted to tell him, "Daddy, don't be scared! I earned this!"
But no sound would come out.
I heard the police officer speak to my father, his voice low and heavy.
The childs organs were harvested based on what was left at the scene, weve put together a bloody invoice.

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