One Last Try
On our anniversary, I decided to give our marriage one last chance.
The waiter had checked on my table again and again. The restaurant was about to close when Claire finally remembered to text me:
[Emergency meeting at the office. Don't wait up, get dinner without me.]
A moment later, I saw a new post from her male assistant, Leo, on my Instagram feed.
In the photo, Claire had her jacket off, a smear of cream on her cheek, sharing a single slice of cake with him.
The caption read:
[Here's to many more.]
Suddenly, the whole thing felt pointless. I liked the post, paid the bill, and headed home.
My phone buzzed relentlessly on the walk, but I ignored it. Carrying the takeout box, I strolled leisurely down the familiar streets.
Finally, she left a voicemail.
Ethan, Ill explain when I get home. Don't overthink this. We'll have plenty more anniversaries to celebrate.
I didnt reply. I just quietly opened my briefcase.
Plenty more?
I thought today might be the day I could convince myself not to leave. It seems I dont have to anymore.
It's time for a divorce.
1
Claire didnt come home until the next day.
When she walked in, I was directing movers as they carried furniture out of the house.
She looked startled. You finally agreed to move?
I didn't even look up. "Careful with that corner," I told the movers, then answered her offhandedly, "Yeah. I got tired of this place."
Eight years together, five years married. I should have gotten tired of it long ago.
Claire stared in disbelief. It made sense; just last week, when she suggested moving to the upscale Riverside Estates villas closer to her office, I was the one who insisted this house held eight years of our memories, refusing to even consider it.
But now, here I was, packing everything up myself.
She was quiet for a moment, then murmured to herself, Well, moving today works. The new place is already decorated to your taste anyway.
She didn't ask where I was moving. She just assumed it was to Riverside Estatesthe place she wanted. It wasn't just closer to her office, after all. It was closer to Leo.
So I didnt bother telling her it wasnt our house that was moving.
It was me.
As the last large piece of furniture was carried out, Claire looked around the newly spacious, strangely empty rooms, a rare look of unease on her face. After a moment of silence, she pulled a brand-new photo frame from her purse and handed it to me.
A new home for a new beginning. You can put a picture of us in this.
I turned, my eyes landing on the frame. It was a simple, pinewood frame, with four words engraved at the bottom: Moonlit Pines.
Ah. The restaurant where shed celebrated Leos birthday last night. It seemed she'd spent quite a bit for them to have gifted her some custom merchandise.
I forced a smile and set it on the coffee table. Thanks.
She froze. Thats it? Thats your only reaction? You dont have anything else to say?
I paused, then a memory of Leos photo surfaced in my mindof Claire's perfectly flat stomach. My voice came out raspy, barely a whisper.
You should tell him not to take you for sushi anymore. Its not good for you, especially after the miscarriage.
The doctor had been clear: no raw or cold foods after losing the baby. If Claire was going to be with Leo, she should at least remind him to be more careful. Not like me.
I didn't say that last part out loud, but something must have clicked for Claire. Her face instantly darkened, and her voice turned to ice.
Ethan, can you stop being so dramatic?
Id lost count of how many times shed said that to me since she lost the baby at the beginning of the year.
All I remember is that it was a baby that had already started to kick. A baby we lost because Claire insisted on drinking the chicken soup Leo had brought for her.
Just the day before, I had felt it move. In the blink of an eye, it was all just blood and pain.
And the cruelest joke? She blamed me.
Ethan, would it have killed you to just stop me?
I wanted to die, too. I wanted to die when I remembered how I had tried to stop her, over and over, only to be accused of jealousy and given the silent treatment, called a madman. I wanted to die when, after she lost the baby, everyone pointed their fingers not at Leo, but at me, their accusations pushing me into a deep, dark depression. I wanted to die when, after the baby was gone, I was busy taking care of her in the hospital, only to walk in on her comforting Leo, telling him, "It's okay, I didn't want to have it anyway."
Id wanted to die so many times.
The scars on my arms, the pills in my drawer, the wilting orchid on the windowsillthey were all witnesses to my despair. For the last 264 days, Ive hovered between life and death.
But I made it out.
Yesterday, our anniversary, was meant to be one final farewell to the man I used to be.
Claire, however, made the choice for me.
I shrugged and pulled out the divorce papers Id had drawn up weeks ago, holding them out to her.
Sign it.
Claire frowned, looking at me with suspicion. What is this?
I never got the chance to answer. Before Claire could sign, her phone rang. It was Leo.
Claire, I think I twisted my ankle! Can you come take me to the hospital?
His voice was strong and clear over the phone, not sounding like he was in any pain at all.
But Claire was already in a panic. Ill be right back to talk about this, she tossed over her shoulder as she rushed out the door.
Watching her leave, I was suddenly reminded of the time I was the one who got hurt.
She wasnt home. Id woken up in the middle of the night, thirsty, and on my way downstairs for a glass of water, I slipped and fell. I lay there on the cold floor, pain shooting through my leg, and called her.
The line connected, but the background was a cacophony of laughter and clinking glasses. She was at a dinner party.
Claire, I fell down the stairs. I cant move. Can you can you come home and take me to the hospital?
Hey, man, Claires had a bit too much to drink. She just passed out next to me. Maybe call back later?
It was Leos voice, smugness laced with mockery. I froze.
Could you please wake her up for me? I heard my own voice, stuttering and broken.
How pathetic. Asking another man to wake up my wife.
I dont know if he ever did. All I know is that my neighbor was the one who eventually found me and took me to the emergency room.
When Claire finally showed up, she sat by my hospital bed, holding my hand, her nose red from crying.
Im so sorry. I shouldnt have gone drinking with clients to close that deal. And I shouldnt have let Leo help me back to the room just because I was too drunk to stand.
But Ethan, you have to believe me, she pleaded. Theres nothing between us. Were just colleagues.
Youre the only one I love.
She looked at me with an earnestness that could move anyone. It was the same look shed had when we were eighteen, when she found me bullied and beaten in a filthy bathroom stall. She had draped her coat over my shoulders and pulled me to my feet, her voice fierce.
Ethan, being bullied is not your fault.
Ill protect you from now on.
She broke her promise.
Then, and now.
Staring at the empty room, I let out a long breath and tucked the papers back into my briefcase.
So annoying. Id have to see her one more time.
But that was fine. One more time was all it would take.
As long as I never had to see her again after the divorce.
That evening, I shipped off the last of my boxes and went out to say goodbye to my friends. They knew I was leaving the city and had thrown a farewell party for me.
On the way to the party, I noticed something unusual. Crowds were gathered along the Harbor River, and event staff were weaving through the onlookers.
BOOM!
A cascade of fireworks erupted into the night sky, exploding in bursts of color so beautiful it was breathtaking.
I pulled over, tilting my head back to admire the rare spectacle. Suddenly, I heard someone in the crowd say:
Wow, so beautiful. The heiress of the Sterling Group really goes all out to show her love.
Yeah, her husband is one lucky guy, landing a woman like her.
The smile froze on my face. It slowly dawned on me that this grand display, this fireworks show, was from Claire. For Leo.
A dull ache spread through my chest, but thankfully, the soul-crushing pain was gone. I shook my head and drove away from the river.
My friends were waiting. I couldn't be late.
We went all out that night. Dinner, drinks, karaokethe works. At one point, my best friend, Dylan, raised a glass to me, his eyes red.
Ethan, are you going to be okay? Will you be happy?
I smiled, clinked my glass against his, and downed it in one go.
Of course. From now on, every single day.
I was finally free.
That night, neither Claire nor I went home. We ran into each other at the entrance to our building the next morning. She was still wearing yesterday's clothes; my jacket reeked of alcohol.
You didnt come home last night? she asked, her eyes scanning me from head to toe, as if searching for something.
I nodded. Nope. I was out with Dylan and the guys.
At the mention of Dylan, the tension in her face visibly eased.
Just this once, she said, her tone softening as she reached for my hand. Dont stay out all night again. I worry.
Its getting colder. Make sure you dress warm, you don't want to catch a cold.
I shot her a strange look, pulled my hand away, and walked inside.
Was she drunk? Spouting this nonsense so early in the morning just to piss me off.
Claire followed me into the apartment. The moment we were inside, she seemed ready to lash out at me for pulling my hand away, but her eyes were involuntarily drawn to the changes around the room.
The wedding portrait was gone from the wall. It had hung there for so long that it left a clean, white rectangle on the painted surface. The model kits shed bought me for my birthday, which I had always treasured and displayed in the center of the bookshelf, had been moved.
She pushed open the bedroom door. My clothes, my shoes, my laptopall gone.
A flicker of anxiety crossed her face. She turned to ask me something, but was met with the sight of me holding out a pen and a document.
Yesterdays paperwork.
I tried to sound casual, but my eyes were fixed on her every move.
You were too busy worrying about Leo to sign it yesterday. Can you do it now?
The woman, who had been about to read the document, paused. A rare flash of guilt and remorse crossed her eyes, and she flipped straight to the last page.
Did you happen to pass by the river last night? she asked, as if it were a casual thought.
I hesitated for a second before shaking my head. No, why?
I knew exactly why, but my denial seemed to bring her a wave of relief. Her voice became cheerful.
Oh, nothing. I just heard there was a fireworks show. I remember you love fireworks, so I was wondering if you saw it.
I didnt.
She picked up the pen to sign.
Thats such a shame. I was thinking of you, since you love them so much. I was planning to put on a show just for you.
I watched her hand, my breath so quiet it was almost silent.
I dont like fireworks anymore.
Then how about I take you to see the Northern Lights? You mentioned it once, on your birthday.
Or maybe Japan? The view of Mount Fuji is supposed to be incredible. I still haven't gotten you a gift for our fifth anniversary.
She signed the last letter of her name and looked up at me with a smile. Her eyes were so gentle, it was like we were eighteen again.
I took the document from her, scanned it carefully, and a genuine smile spread across my face.
Youve already given me the best gift I could ask for.
My smile seemed to catch her off guard.
I did? What did I give you? she asked, thinking hard. A car? A watch? Or is just having me here the best gift of all?
I shook my head at each suggestion.
None of those.
She raised an eyebrow. Then what could it be?
I smiled and held up the document in my hand.
The divorce papers you just signed.
Claire, Im finally free of you.
Her smile froze on her face.
The waiter had checked on my table again and again. The restaurant was about to close when Claire finally remembered to text me:
[Emergency meeting at the office. Don't wait up, get dinner without me.]
A moment later, I saw a new post from her male assistant, Leo, on my Instagram feed.
In the photo, Claire had her jacket off, a smear of cream on her cheek, sharing a single slice of cake with him.
The caption read:
[Here's to many more.]
Suddenly, the whole thing felt pointless. I liked the post, paid the bill, and headed home.
My phone buzzed relentlessly on the walk, but I ignored it. Carrying the takeout box, I strolled leisurely down the familiar streets.
Finally, she left a voicemail.
Ethan, Ill explain when I get home. Don't overthink this. We'll have plenty more anniversaries to celebrate.
I didnt reply. I just quietly opened my briefcase.
Plenty more?
I thought today might be the day I could convince myself not to leave. It seems I dont have to anymore.
It's time for a divorce.
1
Claire didnt come home until the next day.
When she walked in, I was directing movers as they carried furniture out of the house.
She looked startled. You finally agreed to move?
I didn't even look up. "Careful with that corner," I told the movers, then answered her offhandedly, "Yeah. I got tired of this place."
Eight years together, five years married. I should have gotten tired of it long ago.
Claire stared in disbelief. It made sense; just last week, when she suggested moving to the upscale Riverside Estates villas closer to her office, I was the one who insisted this house held eight years of our memories, refusing to even consider it.
But now, here I was, packing everything up myself.
She was quiet for a moment, then murmured to herself, Well, moving today works. The new place is already decorated to your taste anyway.
She didn't ask where I was moving. She just assumed it was to Riverside Estatesthe place she wanted. It wasn't just closer to her office, after all. It was closer to Leo.
So I didnt bother telling her it wasnt our house that was moving.
It was me.
As the last large piece of furniture was carried out, Claire looked around the newly spacious, strangely empty rooms, a rare look of unease on her face. After a moment of silence, she pulled a brand-new photo frame from her purse and handed it to me.
A new home for a new beginning. You can put a picture of us in this.
I turned, my eyes landing on the frame. It was a simple, pinewood frame, with four words engraved at the bottom: Moonlit Pines.
Ah. The restaurant where shed celebrated Leos birthday last night. It seemed she'd spent quite a bit for them to have gifted her some custom merchandise.
I forced a smile and set it on the coffee table. Thanks.
She froze. Thats it? Thats your only reaction? You dont have anything else to say?
I paused, then a memory of Leos photo surfaced in my mindof Claire's perfectly flat stomach. My voice came out raspy, barely a whisper.
You should tell him not to take you for sushi anymore. Its not good for you, especially after the miscarriage.
The doctor had been clear: no raw or cold foods after losing the baby. If Claire was going to be with Leo, she should at least remind him to be more careful. Not like me.
I didn't say that last part out loud, but something must have clicked for Claire. Her face instantly darkened, and her voice turned to ice.
Ethan, can you stop being so dramatic?
Id lost count of how many times shed said that to me since she lost the baby at the beginning of the year.
All I remember is that it was a baby that had already started to kick. A baby we lost because Claire insisted on drinking the chicken soup Leo had brought for her.
Just the day before, I had felt it move. In the blink of an eye, it was all just blood and pain.
And the cruelest joke? She blamed me.
Ethan, would it have killed you to just stop me?
I wanted to die, too. I wanted to die when I remembered how I had tried to stop her, over and over, only to be accused of jealousy and given the silent treatment, called a madman. I wanted to die when, after she lost the baby, everyone pointed their fingers not at Leo, but at me, their accusations pushing me into a deep, dark depression. I wanted to die when, after the baby was gone, I was busy taking care of her in the hospital, only to walk in on her comforting Leo, telling him, "It's okay, I didn't want to have it anyway."
Id wanted to die so many times.
The scars on my arms, the pills in my drawer, the wilting orchid on the windowsillthey were all witnesses to my despair. For the last 264 days, Ive hovered between life and death.
But I made it out.
Yesterday, our anniversary, was meant to be one final farewell to the man I used to be.
Claire, however, made the choice for me.
I shrugged and pulled out the divorce papers Id had drawn up weeks ago, holding them out to her.
Sign it.
Claire frowned, looking at me with suspicion. What is this?
I never got the chance to answer. Before Claire could sign, her phone rang. It was Leo.
Claire, I think I twisted my ankle! Can you come take me to the hospital?
His voice was strong and clear over the phone, not sounding like he was in any pain at all.
But Claire was already in a panic. Ill be right back to talk about this, she tossed over her shoulder as she rushed out the door.
Watching her leave, I was suddenly reminded of the time I was the one who got hurt.
She wasnt home. Id woken up in the middle of the night, thirsty, and on my way downstairs for a glass of water, I slipped and fell. I lay there on the cold floor, pain shooting through my leg, and called her.
The line connected, but the background was a cacophony of laughter and clinking glasses. She was at a dinner party.
Claire, I fell down the stairs. I cant move. Can you can you come home and take me to the hospital?
Hey, man, Claires had a bit too much to drink. She just passed out next to me. Maybe call back later?
It was Leos voice, smugness laced with mockery. I froze.
Could you please wake her up for me? I heard my own voice, stuttering and broken.
How pathetic. Asking another man to wake up my wife.
I dont know if he ever did. All I know is that my neighbor was the one who eventually found me and took me to the emergency room.
When Claire finally showed up, she sat by my hospital bed, holding my hand, her nose red from crying.
Im so sorry. I shouldnt have gone drinking with clients to close that deal. And I shouldnt have let Leo help me back to the room just because I was too drunk to stand.
But Ethan, you have to believe me, she pleaded. Theres nothing between us. Were just colleagues.
Youre the only one I love.
She looked at me with an earnestness that could move anyone. It was the same look shed had when we were eighteen, when she found me bullied and beaten in a filthy bathroom stall. She had draped her coat over my shoulders and pulled me to my feet, her voice fierce.
Ethan, being bullied is not your fault.
Ill protect you from now on.
She broke her promise.
Then, and now.
Staring at the empty room, I let out a long breath and tucked the papers back into my briefcase.
So annoying. Id have to see her one more time.
But that was fine. One more time was all it would take.
As long as I never had to see her again after the divorce.
That evening, I shipped off the last of my boxes and went out to say goodbye to my friends. They knew I was leaving the city and had thrown a farewell party for me.
On the way to the party, I noticed something unusual. Crowds were gathered along the Harbor River, and event staff were weaving through the onlookers.
BOOM!
A cascade of fireworks erupted into the night sky, exploding in bursts of color so beautiful it was breathtaking.
I pulled over, tilting my head back to admire the rare spectacle. Suddenly, I heard someone in the crowd say:
Wow, so beautiful. The heiress of the Sterling Group really goes all out to show her love.
Yeah, her husband is one lucky guy, landing a woman like her.
The smile froze on my face. It slowly dawned on me that this grand display, this fireworks show, was from Claire. For Leo.
A dull ache spread through my chest, but thankfully, the soul-crushing pain was gone. I shook my head and drove away from the river.
My friends were waiting. I couldn't be late.
We went all out that night. Dinner, drinks, karaokethe works. At one point, my best friend, Dylan, raised a glass to me, his eyes red.
Ethan, are you going to be okay? Will you be happy?
I smiled, clinked my glass against his, and downed it in one go.
Of course. From now on, every single day.
I was finally free.
That night, neither Claire nor I went home. We ran into each other at the entrance to our building the next morning. She was still wearing yesterday's clothes; my jacket reeked of alcohol.
You didnt come home last night? she asked, her eyes scanning me from head to toe, as if searching for something.
I nodded. Nope. I was out with Dylan and the guys.
At the mention of Dylan, the tension in her face visibly eased.
Just this once, she said, her tone softening as she reached for my hand. Dont stay out all night again. I worry.
Its getting colder. Make sure you dress warm, you don't want to catch a cold.
I shot her a strange look, pulled my hand away, and walked inside.
Was she drunk? Spouting this nonsense so early in the morning just to piss me off.
Claire followed me into the apartment. The moment we were inside, she seemed ready to lash out at me for pulling my hand away, but her eyes were involuntarily drawn to the changes around the room.
The wedding portrait was gone from the wall. It had hung there for so long that it left a clean, white rectangle on the painted surface. The model kits shed bought me for my birthday, which I had always treasured and displayed in the center of the bookshelf, had been moved.
She pushed open the bedroom door. My clothes, my shoes, my laptopall gone.
A flicker of anxiety crossed her face. She turned to ask me something, but was met with the sight of me holding out a pen and a document.
Yesterdays paperwork.
I tried to sound casual, but my eyes were fixed on her every move.
You were too busy worrying about Leo to sign it yesterday. Can you do it now?
The woman, who had been about to read the document, paused. A rare flash of guilt and remorse crossed her eyes, and she flipped straight to the last page.
Did you happen to pass by the river last night? she asked, as if it were a casual thought.
I hesitated for a second before shaking my head. No, why?
I knew exactly why, but my denial seemed to bring her a wave of relief. Her voice became cheerful.
Oh, nothing. I just heard there was a fireworks show. I remember you love fireworks, so I was wondering if you saw it.
I didnt.
She picked up the pen to sign.
Thats such a shame. I was thinking of you, since you love them so much. I was planning to put on a show just for you.
I watched her hand, my breath so quiet it was almost silent.
I dont like fireworks anymore.
Then how about I take you to see the Northern Lights? You mentioned it once, on your birthday.
Or maybe Japan? The view of Mount Fuji is supposed to be incredible. I still haven't gotten you a gift for our fifth anniversary.
She signed the last letter of her name and looked up at me with a smile. Her eyes were so gentle, it was like we were eighteen again.
I took the document from her, scanned it carefully, and a genuine smile spread across my face.
Youve already given me the best gift I could ask for.
My smile seemed to catch her off guard.
I did? What did I give you? she asked, thinking hard. A car? A watch? Or is just having me here the best gift of all?
I shook my head at each suggestion.
None of those.
She raised an eyebrow. Then what could it be?
I smiled and held up the document in my hand.
The divorce papers you just signed.
Claire, Im finally free of you.
Her smile froze on her face.
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