Seat at Seventeen

Through the rearview mirror, I watched as the boy I grew up with was dragged by the car for over two hundred meters.
His body was a canvas of scrapes and bruises, but his hand was clamped around the door handle, refusing to let go.
With a sigh of resignation, I lowered the window, giving him a chance to speak.
That video I saw it.
Im sorry, Echo. I I honestly didnt know that was the truth
So, now you know, I cut him off, my voice cold.
Im an asshole! I shouldnt have doubted you. I never should have said those horrible things to you He took a desperate step forward, fat tears rolling down his cheeks. Echo, please, yell at me, hit me, I dont care. Just dont shut me out. Dont leave me.
I really know I was wrong.
Watching him sob, my heart remained a placid lake, without a single ripple of emotion.
I slowly lifted my head and asked him one last question.
David, do you remember that priority seat?

1
Ive had a severe heart condition since I was a child, which means weekly trips to the hospital for check-ups.
One day, on the subway ride back with David, my childhood best friend, we ran into the new transfer student.
There was only one empty seat left, right next to him.
Just as I was about to sit, the new girl timidly grabbed my arm.
Excuse me, she said, her voice small. Im a little anemic.
That priority seat could I possibly have it?
I almost laughed. The damsel-in-distress act was a little too obvious.
I prepared a simple, direct refusal.
Sorry, but I cant
Before I could finish, David interrupted.
Echo, just let her have it.
I know your heart condition means you cant stand for long, but Ive gotten you a seat so many times. Whats one more time?
I froze.
Obediently, I gave up the seat.
It wasnt until the third time he came to walk me to school, only to find Id already left, that he finally seemed to get it.
It was just a seat. Is it really worth being like this over?
I bit my lip. Youre right. It was just one seat. So why couldnt you have given it to me?
My question left him stunned.
David never expected me, the girl who was always so easygoing around him, to push back like that.
It took him a moment to find his voice, a new edge of annoyance in it.
What kind of attitude is that? Lily wasnt feeling well. You knew that.
I was done arguing. I turned and headed upstairs to my apartment.
His voice rose behind me. Echo Shen! Are you really going to drag this out over something so small?
I didnt look back.
After that, a cold war began between us. I started deliberately avoiding him at school, walking to and from class alone. He never made an effort to approach me either. The thread that had tied us together since we were kids seemed to have suddenly gone slack.
During Mondays literature class, the teacher announced a group project.
The second she finished speaking, two of Davids best friends swarmed his desk.
Normally, I would have been the fourth member.
I was gathering my books, waiting for them to call me over.
But when I looked up, I saw Lily standing hesitantly by Davids desk, nervously twisting the hem of her shirt. She summoned her courage and whispered, David I just transferred, so I dont know many people Is your group full?
His friends immediately started teasing him.
Whoa, look at you, man. A pretty girl is asking to join.
David was clearly flattered. Without even a glance in my direction, he answered in a voice dripping with gentleness, Of course. Welcome to the group.
I was frozen in place, the textbook in my hand hovering over my backpack.
Throughout the entire exchange, David never once looked at me, as if I didnt exist. His friends seemed to have forgotten that their tight-knit little group was supposed to include me.
After Lily sat down, she acted as if she had just noticed I was there.
She covered her mouth with her hand, her face a mask of innocence. Oh no did I take Echos spot? Im so, so sorry, I didnt know
Maybe Echo should join instead. I can work by myself. My grades arent very good, I dont want to drag you all down
Before I could respond, David frowned in my direction, his tone impatient. Echo, your grades are good enough to do this project on your own. Lily just got here. She needs help.
Suddenly, the whole thing felt pointless.
I stuffed my textbook into my bag, stood up, and silently walked to the other side of the classroom. The rest of the students had already formed their groups. Only a few of the academically struggling kids, the ones nobody wanted to team up with, were left scattered around.
I calmly took an empty seat among them.
Lets be a group, I said.

2
After that day, my situation in class became a bit awkward.
My new groupmates were a motley crew. One slept through every class, another was lost in fantasy novels, and the third, bless his heart, actually wanted to learn but would just stare at a problem for half an hour without writing a single word.
I broke down the project into tiny, manageable tasks, assigning each of them specific research to do and showing them how to organize it. It was the only way to make any progress. The process was exhaustingfar more work than if Id just done it myself. I had to constantly monitor my heart rate, reminding myself not to get anxious, not to get angry. The doctor said emotional spikes were bad for me.
Meanwhile, Davids group was the life of the party.
Lily might not have known anything, but she knew how to ask for help. During every break, you could see her leaning over Davids desk, her textbook open, pointing at a page and asking questions in a soft, sweet voice. David was incredibly patient, breaking down a single problem for her multiple times. His two friends would stand by, cheering them on.
I ignored their noise, focusing on re-organizing the messy, error-filled notes my own group had submitted.
This strange new dynamic peaked during gym class.
Because of my heart, I couldnt do anything strenuous, so I usually just rested on the sidelines. Coincidentally, Lily had also excused herself that week, once again citing anemia.
So there we were, the two of us, sitting alone on the bleachers overlooking the sprawling field.
She scooted closer, settling next to me.
Echo, she began, hugging her knees and looking at me from the side. Are you still mad at me?
I didnt say anything.
She continued as if I had. I know David is really good to you. You two grew up together I guess Im just really envious. Im new here, I dont have any friends. When he was nice to me, I couldnt help but want to get closer.
As she spoke, her eyes started to well up. Have I caused you a lot of trouble?
Before I could figure out how to respond, the halftime whistle blew for the basketball game.
David pulled the hem of his jersey up to wipe the sweat from his face and jogged over to us, carrying two bottles of water. The sunlight cast a golden halo around him, making him seem impossibly bright.
He stopped in front of us, naturally twisted the cap off one bottle, and handed it to Lily. Here, drink this.
Then, he placed the other, unopened bottle on the bleacher next to me. You okay? he asked casually. Your face is pale.
Lily took small sips, her eyes sparkling as she looked up at him. David, that three-pointer you made was amazing!
David grinned, about to reply, when Lily suddenly swayed. The water bottle slipped from her hand, tipping directly onto me.
Ice-cold water soaked half of my pants.
Oh! Im so sorry! Im so sorry, Echo! Lily yelped, jumping up and fumbling to wipe the water off me. But then her own ankle seemed to twist, and she stumbled backward.
Instinctively, David caught her, pulling her into his arms.
Are you okay? Are you hurt? His voice was laced with an urgency Id never heard from him.
I Im fine, Lily whispered, leaning against his chest, her face even paler than mine. Just a little dizzy my visions going dark
Without another word, David swept her up into his arms, his brow deeply furrowed.
As he walked past me, he seemed to remember I was there and paused, looking back.
I sat on the cold bleacher, my pants dripping, the chilling water seeping into my skin. I looked at him, expecting him to at least ask if I was alright.
He didnt.
His eyes held only a heavy weight of disappointment and blame.
Echo, he said, his voice frigid. Lily isnt well. Couldnt you have at least watched out for her? I never thought you could become such a cold person.
Then, he turned and strode toward the nurses office without a second glance.
The whispers of the other students washed over me like a tide.
I sat there, motionless, feeling a familiar, tight clenching in my chest.

3
After that day, it felt like I was getting lazier.
Too lazy to talk, too lazy to argue, too lazy to even look at David anymore.
I walked home alone after gym class, the autumn wind creeping up my still-damp pant leg, a chill that reached deep into my heart. I didnt text him. I didnt wait for him.
The next day at school, David did something unusual. He came over to my desk and placed a carton of warm milk on it.
Yesterday Lily didnt mean it. You know how she is, her health comes and goes. Dont take it to heart.
I looked at him and suddenly felt so tired of it all.
Truly, I was just done.
In his eyes, I was probably the one who didnt need looking after. Heart condition? Theres a pill for that. Misunderstood? I was good with words; I could clear things up myself. The bond wed shared since childhood had made him take all my strength and resilience for granted.
I picked up the milk, placed it back on his desk, and said softly, Thanks, but I already had some.
Then I turned back around, opened my English textbook, and started memorizing vocabulary.
David stood behind me for a moment. He probably felt like hed lost face, because he eventually took the milk and walked away.
I heard Lilys soft voice drift over from his desk. David, whats wrong? Is Echo still mad?
From that day on, I completely withdrew from their world. I no longer waited for him after class. The second the final bell rang, Id be the first one out the door with my backpack. During group discussions, I stopped offering opinions. Id just assign the tasks, and if someone didnt finish their part, Id stay up late and do it myself.
David finally seemed to notice something was seriously wrong. He cornered me a few times, asking if I was still mad about those little things.
I just shook my head. No. Exams are coming up. I need to focus on studying.
He looked at me with an expression of confusion and unfamiliarity. He was used to me chasing after him, pestering him with questions, getting worked up over the smallest things. My current calmness was unsettling for him.
But I truly had no energy left to fight. My heart couldnt take it, and neither could my pride.
What finally gave me a new sense of direction was a poster on the school bulletin board.
A city-wide English speech competition. The theme was The Power of Silence.
I stood in front of that poster for a long time.
The Power of Silence.
Those words cut through the fog in my mind like a bolt of lightning.
Thats right. Why was I trying to argue with words? Language is the most powerless tool, especially when youre talking to someone who refuses to listen. Real power never comes from screaming or demanding. It comes from quiet action, from focused growth.
I tore off a corner of the sign-up sheet, went back to my desk, and carefully filled in my name.
The moment I handed it in, I felt my fickle heart finally find a steady, powerful rhythm.
I poured all my energy into it. During every lunch break, Id go up to the school rooftop and practice my pronunciation and intonation, my voice carrying over the empty field. At night, Id lock myself in my room, researching, writing, editing, and then starting all over again.
During this time, Lilys popularity in class soared. Shed bring water to the boys after they played basketball and help the struggling girls with their homework. When she got stuck on a problem, shed naturally turn to David for help. The two of them, heads bent together over a book, looked perfectly in sync.
Once, in the hallway, I was carrying a stack of books and walked past them.
Lily saw me and made a point of stopping David, her voice just loud enough for me to hear. David, look at Echo. Shes been studying so hard lately. She barely talks to us anymore.
Davids gaze fell on me, his expression unreadable.
I didnt slow down. I didnt look at them. I walked straight past.
The night before the finals, I stayed late in the empty classroom for one last run-through. Moonlight streamed through the windows, stretching my shadow long across the floor. I faced the blackboard and recited my entire speech from memory, every pause, every gesture committed to heart.
When I finished, I let out a long breath, feeling a sense of calm I hadnt felt in a long time.
I was packing my things, about to turn off the lights and leave, when the classroom door creaked open.
Lily stood there, holding a steaming cup of coffee, a pure, harmless smile on her face.
Echo, still preparing so late? I brought you some coffee to help you stay awake.

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