The Hide-and-Seek That Broke Us

The year I turned seven, my sister and I were playing hide-and-seek when the earthquake hit.
My parents pulled me from the rubble first. But the rescue teams searched for three days and three nights, and they never found where my sister was hiding.
My parents, their eyes red-rimmed and raw, demanded to know where she was. I could only stare back, numb and helpless, whispering, "I don't know... I don't know where Lily was hiding..."
After that day, my parents, who had always treated me like a princess, never smiled at me again.
This time, they were going to the site of the ruins to honor Lilys memory. When I simply said I wanted to go with them, my mother broke down again.
"Get out!" she shrieked, her voice cracking. "It's all your fault! You and your stupid game of hide-and-seek killed your sister! You wanted to hide so badly? Fine! Get in!"
She grabbed me, her fingers digging into my arms, and shoved me into a large suitcase.
But she forgot. It was a combination-lock suitcase. Once it clicked shut, I couldn't push it open from the inside...

1
I curled up obediently, squeezing my body into the cramped, dark space of the suitcase.
Over the years, Id gotten used to it. The suitcase had become my secret base. Whenever Moms grief boiled over and she started smashing things on the table, Dad would just give me a look, and I knew what to do. Id climb in, pull the zipper shut, and pretend I couldn't hear a thing.
Just like hide-and-seek, I started counting, silently preparing to count to ten thousand, ten times over.
But this time, I didn't finish.
My limbs, twisted for so long, grew stiff and numb. My knees were pressed so hard against my chest that I could barely breathe. The stale air was thick and heavy. I clawed at the small gap near the zipper, but it wouldn't budge.
"Did you pack all of Lily's things in the case? I'll put it in the car."
Dad's voice. A spark of hope ignited in me. I thought, I'll apologize, I'll beg him to let me out.
But then the world tilted violently. I felt the suitcase being lifted, then flipped upside down. My body was hanging by my feet, the blood rushing to my head.
The feeling of suffocation was immediate and overwhelming. I instinctively thrashed, pounding my small fists against the inside of the case. But the lining was too thick, and I was too weak. The desperate gasps that escaped my lips were swallowed by the sound of my parents' voices.
"The spiritual advisor said we have to burn it all," Dad said, his voice heavy. "Her spirit is trapped. If we don't send her things with her, she can't move on."
"Don't you talk to me about that!" Mom's voice was a sharp, jagged thing. "Isn't this all because of Ella?! She's the one who killed Lily!"
"If she hadn't dragged Lily into that stupid game, would we at least have a body? My Lily we couldn't even give her a proper burial..." Her voice trailed off into a choked sob, each word weighted with an unbearable pain.
My throat closed up. No sound would come out. Lily's death was an arrow lodged in our familys heart, its tip fused with flesh and bone.
Inside the suffocating darkness, the air grew thin and foul. My head felt thick, my consciousness fading. In a daze, I thought I saw a little girl standing far away, calling out to me in a cheerful voice.
"Ella! Let's play hide-and-seek! I'm going to hide now!"
I froze. It was like muscle memory. My knees gave out, and I collapsed.
"No," I whimpered. "No more hide-and-seek... I'm sorry, Lily. It's my fault. I'm the one who killed you..."
The apology I had rehearsed a thousand times in my head while locked in this suitcase came out as a jumbled, incoherent mess. What I really wanted to say was, If I could, I would trade my life for hers. Just like Mom prayed for, over and over again.
When I looked up again, my soul was somehow floating outside the suitcase.
It wasn't Lily I saw in front of me, but my mother, her expression vacant. She was staring into space, muttering to herself.
"Do we really have to burn it all? Lily's things... her clothes, the doll I made for her... I dug them out of the rubble with my own hands..."
Her expression shifted, the sorrow twisting into a deep, consuming hatred. "It's all because of Ella. Lily is dead and can't even rest in peace because of her. Don't you think she was sent by God to punish me?"
She believed what the advisor had saidthat a soul needs a complete body for a proper burial, and because of me, Lilys spirit was trapped, unable to be reborn.
Dads knuckles were white as he gripped the steering wheel. He turned his head, his face a landscape of fatigue and wrinkles, his eyes sunken. Even his voice was drained of life.
"It's been so long. Like the advisor said, Lily needs to go where she belongs. And the living... we have to move on." He gave a bitter smile. "We can have another child. A family of three. A fresh start."
His tone was so casual, but the words made my soul tremble.
A family of three. Without me.
I was the thorn in my parents hearts they were desperate to pull out. I had always known. My face, so similar to my sister's, was a constant, painful reminder of the life I carried on my shouldershers.
Thats why, a few days ago, I had secretly visited several orphanages, mustering the courage to ask the directors if they took in new children.
But now, looking at my own transparent body, I thought, this is better.
If I'm dead, my parents won't have to see me and feel that pain. Maybe then, in their hearts, my sin could finally fade a little.

2
The closer the car got to our old neighborhood, the more violently my mother's body trembled.
Nearly five years had passed since the earthquake. Most of the area had been rebuilt with new high-rises, but the block where our house used to stand was still a field of ruins and scarred earth.
I could still remember that day, my parents clawing at the rubble like mad animals, ignoring the stones that tore their hands to ribbons, their fingers dripping with blood.
"Lily loved BBQ chips. I bought a few extra bags," Dad said, pulling the snacks from the trunk. "And some chocolate milk, too." He carefully arranged them on a flat piece of concrete.
Mom's eyes were already swimming with tears. When Dad lifted the suitcase from the car, she lunged for it, but he held her back.
"Please, just let me look one more time..." she pleaded, her voice breaking.
Dads brow furrowed, his eyes filled with a mixture of exhaustion and pity. He placed his hand on the combination lock, hesitating.
My non-existent heart was in my throat.
Will they find out? Will they realize they took the wrong suitcase? That inside isn't their daughter's belongings, but their other daughter's body?
"Looking will only make it harder to let go," Dad sighed. "Let's not open it. It's time to let the past be the past."
But Mom didn't pull her hand away.
As they stood in a silent standoff, Dad's phone rang. He answered it. It was our housekeeper, Mrs. Davis, her voice frantic.
"Mr. Sterling, I can't find Ella anywhere! I don't know where she's hiding this time!"
Mom snatched the phone from his hand, her rage instantly ignited. "Why are you even looking for her? She does this on purpose, making trouble for us on a day like this. Mrs. Davis, you lock her bedroom door. Let her hide until she rots."
A flash of irritation crossed Dad's face as well. He told the housekeeper not to worry about it and hung up without another word.
"She's clever, that one," Mom sneered. "Does she think if she stays out of my sight, I'll forgive her?"
The air grew heavy with unspoken resentment. Dad didn't say anything, silently preparing to start the fire. But the flames of hatred in my mother's eyes burned hotter and hotter.
"It's all Ella's fault!" she spat. "It's because of her that I can't even keep these last few things of Lily's. We were so good to her! How could she be so cruel? Tricking her sister into hiding during an earthquake... Now Lily is dead and can't even be reborn. Did she hate her that much?"
She hissed the words through gritted teeth, her eyes blazing. I had heard this tirade countless times. I knew my mother's pain was a bottomless pit, and she needed somewhere to pour it.
I looked at my father. The flicker of pity he'd shown for me earlier was gone, replaced by a dull, numb expression. Because of me, hed lost his youngest daughter. Because of me, his wife suffered from a severe mental illness. Dad was a lawyer; logic and reason were the pillars of his life. But years of relentless grief had eroded those pillars. He couldn't look at me without seeing everything he had lost.
There was a time, when Mom hurt me, that he would secretly slip me candy while I was hiding in the closet. He'd lean against the door and whisper apologies. "Ella, Mommy is just sick right now. Just hide a little longer. I know it's not fair to you."
But later, he started drinking heavily in secret. He would grab me and demand to know why, why did I have to play hide-and-seek with Lily?
And then, later still, he stopped caring when Mom hit me. He would lock my door and forget to bring me food for an entire day.
And now, he just said quietly, "Yes. After we send Lily off, I'll send the child to live with her grandparents. Then... we can start over."
As if I were a piece of trash to be disposed of.
My heart seemed to skip a beat. I wanted to smile, to be happy for them. They were finally escaping the nightmare, finally finding the courage to start again.
But the flames in front of me were already leaping, eager to consume the last trace of my existence.
My empty chest ached.
Mom was clutching Lily's little teddy bear, her expression lost. I let my soul drift into the stuffed animal, imagining I was back in her arms. A long-forgotten warmth enveloped me.
I remembered when they first pulled me from the rubble. Before I could even see my surroundings, Mom had pulled me into a hug. But that last shred of warmth was shattered by a single slap, the moment I uttered the words "hide-and-seek."

3
The fire roared to life. Dad gently took the teddy bear from my mother's arms and tossed it into the flames.
Mom's face went deathly pale. She turned, stared at the suitcase, and then stumbled forward, throwing her arms around it.
"Please," she begged, tears streaming down her face. "Just let me stay with Lily a little longer."
Dad's expression was a mask of tormented conflict.
A wave of guilt washed over me. If they found my body in here, they would be so disgusted, so angry. My death would ruin Lily's chance to move on. My spirit swirled around them in a panic.
But I could only watch as Dad pried the suitcase from her grasp and, with a look of grim determination, kicked it into the heart of the fire.
The flames crackled and hissed.
"Wait! That's not Lily's suitcase!" Mom suddenly shrieked. Her hand trembled as she pointed at the burning case. "Lily loved pink stickers. Her suitcase had a Hello Kitty sticker on it."
Dad froze, confused.
"That's Ella's suitcase!"
I tensed, my soul vibrating with anxiety. I thought she was about to rememberthat she had locked me inside, that I had never gotten out.
But her next words were spat out with a familiar, venomous rage.
"Weren't you watching when you packed? How could you use Ella's filthy suitcase for Lily's things?! Lily will be so angry if we send her this!"
Dad was stunned. I was, too.
So that was it. She didn't remember me at all. She just found the thought of my suitcase disgusting.
"No, we can't burn this disgusting thing for Lily..." Mom started scrambling toward the fire, completely frantic.
Dad grabbed her, holding her back. He pulled her into his arms, trying to soothe her. "It's okay, it's okay, calm down. Don't do this. It's just a suitcase. It doesn't matter, it won't change anything."
He held her tight. The firelight illuminated her pale, wild-eyed face. She clamped a hand over her mouth and nose, looking like she was about to faint.
Realizing how close she was to a complete breakdown, Dad's gaze fell on my suitcase, his expression turning grim. He was probably cursing me, too. Cursing me for causing trouble even now.
"That's enough. Let's go home," he said, patting her back. He ignored the dying flames and quickly guided her back to the car.
He gave her a pill, and once she was asleep, he sent a text message.
[Thank you, Doctor. We've taken care of Lily's things. Please, when the time is right, tell my wife that our daughter has been successfully reincarnated.]
The reply came almost immediately.
[Of course. I hope this therapy helps your wife move forward. Let's schedule another appointment soon.]
I finally understood. There was no spiritual advisor. It was all a carefully constructed act between my father and a psychologist to help my mother escape her nightmare.
A brilliant plan.
If it hadn't been for me.
I looked out the window at the smoldering suitcase that held my body and prayed that no one would ever find it. Let me rot in these ruins, I thought. Let me become fertilizer for my sister's new life.
But my hopes were in vain.
When we got home, there were several people standing in our front yard. As Dad helped a groggy Mom out of the car, Mrs. Davis rushed forward, looking relieved.
She pointed at my parents. "There, that's Ella's mother and father. They're back. You can ask them."

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