Childhood Loves Go Mad

I was the Ashton familys showpiece daughter.
My father drove my mother to her death and never once gave me a kind look.
The one saving grace was my two childhood knights.
They were the ones who pulled me from the rooftop ledge, who stopped my numb acts of self-harm.
They were my antidote.
But when I returned home from my studies abroad, everything had changed.
They had found a new princess, and I was cast as the wicked witch who tormented her.
I watched them shield my fathers stepdaughter, their eyes filled with a wariness once reserved for strangers.
The antidote had become a lethal poison.
My illness worsened. Finally, I decided to grant them their wish and disappear.

1
Today was my birthday. It was also the first anniversary of my return to the city.
I scrolled numbly through my social media feed, watching the endless stream of birthday wishes Sean and Ian were posting for Molly.
They were the boys I had grown up with, my closest friends.
Now, it was as if Id never existed.
A bitter smile touched my lips. I wasn't sure if it was the medication kicking in or my psychosomatic symptoms flaring up again, but the exhaustion was bone-deep. On a day meant for celebration, all I could feel was a creeping desire for it all to end.
I knew I couldn't put it off any longer. My illness was winning. After a moment of hesitation, I dialed my grandfather's number overseas.
Grandpa, Ive made up my mind. Ill come back for the treatment.
A heavy sigh came from the other end. Leah, my dear, he said, his voice laced with pain, Why would you say this on your birthday? Did they hurt you again?
His words were enough to make my eyes well up, but I fought back the tears, not wanting to worry him. "No, nothing like that."
Its okay, my sweet girl, his loving voice soothed me. Im an old man now. I cant do much about that bastard Julian, but I can make sure you get well. Ill make the arrangements. In two weeks, Ill have you here with me.
As for those two boys, people change, Leah. Dont let them break your heart.
I nodded, though he couldnt see, and after saying our goodbyes, I ended the call.
Staring out at the city lights, I was lost in thought.
People change. I knew that.
But when I came home and saw the two friends I cherished most in the world ignoring me, choosing my fathers illegitimate daughter over me, believing her lies and looking at me with disgust the pain was so sharp it stole the air from my lungs.
The depth of my love for them was matched only by the depth of the wounds they inflicted.
As a child, my father, Julian Ashton, had despised my mother, and by extension, me. His years of cold neglect had sent me spiraling into a deep depression.
At its worst, I almost stepped off the roof of our penthouse.
It was Sean and Ian who pulled me back, time and time again. They dragged me out, made me play, and slowly, carefully, drew me out of the shadows.
Back then, they were my cure.
Now, the medicine had turned to poison. Their distance, their coldness, had made me sicker than ever.
My body was a knot of tension as I lay in bed. I took two extra sleeping pills, hoping for oblivion. Just as sleep was about to take me, my phone buzzed.
I squinted at the screen. It was Sean. A flicker of hope, pathetic as it was, sparked in my chest. Maybe this was it. Maybe they remembered.
Then his first words snuffed it out. Were at Mollys birthday party. She mentioned it was your birthday too and was worried youd be lonely, so she asked us to call.
The raucous sound of their celebration was a stark contrast to the crushing silence of my room.
My last shred of hope shattered.
I opened my mouth, but no words came out. I didnt have the strength.
Sean waited a moment, then his voice, usually warm, was clipped with impatience. Leah? Are you there? Whats with the silent treatment? Molly was being nice, worried you were all alone. Can you stop being so hostile to her all the time?
I could hear a soft murmur in the background, probably Molly telling him not to be so harsh.
Sean huffed but fell silent, passing the phone to his brother.
Ians cool, detached voice came through the line. Happy birthday. We got you a gift, well give it to you at the party tomorrow If theres nothing else, were going to hang up. The fireworks Molly wanted to see are about to start.
His tone was all business, softening only when he said Mollys name, a hint of affection coloring the word.
I ended the call, my hand falling limply to my side.
I didnt understand. I had only been away for a few years. How could the devotion that was once mine be given away so easily, so completely?
I had tried to win them back. I had fought and cried, but nothing worked. It never earned me so much as a second glance.
All I could do was retreat, defeated and alone.
I wiped the tears from my face. I knew it was going to be another long, sleepless night.

2
Every year, Julian Ashton threw me a birthday gala.
He called it a celebration, but I knew the truth. It was a performance, a way to market his public image as a doting father while parading me around for business connections.
Id drunk myself into stomach ulcers at these parties, all for the sake of his damn projects.
But attendance was never optional.
A stir at the entrance drew my attention. Molly, dressed in a magnificent ball gown fit for a princess, glided in, flanked by Ian and Sean.
She blushed and hid behind Sean, feigning shyness, as if overwhelmed by the scene.
I watched her, a cold amusement rising in me.
If she was truly uncomfortable, would she have worn something so ostentatious? Would she have made such a grand entrance?
Molly spotted me and hurried over, grasping my hand. Her lower lip jutted out in a pout. Leah, Im so sorry, she whispered, her voice thick with false contrition. I know Dad threw this party just for you, but
She shot a look at the two towering men beside her, a mix of shy blame and affection. They insisted I come. They said since its my birthday too, Im a guest of honor
She clung to my arm, her words overflowing with apology and helplessness, as if terrified I might be upset. But I saw it clearlythe triumphant glint in her eyes.
I let out a quiet, mirthless laugh. I had no energy to play along with her charade. I pulled my hand away without a word.
That simple gesture seemed to ignite their fury. In the eyes of Ian and Sean, it was a declaration of war.
Sean immediately stepped in front of a teary-eyed Molly, shielding her as if from a physical blow.
Ians brow furrowed, his gaze landing on me, heavy with disappointment. Leah, how could a few years abroad make you so selfish?
I looked at the two brothers, their faces set in hostile lines, and a profound weariness washed over me.
To be publicly reprimanded at my own birthday party, simply for not responding to Mollys act. I had endured this, in one form or another, countless times over the past year.
I had argued. I had cried. I had pleaded. Nothing could win back a single kind glance from Ian or Sean.
Now, I was just tired. I didn't want to fight anymore. I turned to leave.
But Ians hand shot out, his fingers closing around my arm.
I looked at him, my exhaustion plain on my face.
For a split second, his grip faltered, a flicker of something unreadable in his eyes.
Where do you think youre going? Apologize to Molly! Sean, ever the hothead, snapped before Ian could speak.
I tried to pull my arm free, but his grip was like iron.
I understood then. Ian, the cool, calculating one, felt the same way.
The eyes of the room were on me, a mixture of pity and amusement. They all knew. The girl who was once the center of the Grant brothers world had lost everything. They were all waiting for the next act of my humiliation.
A smirk pulled at my lips. Why should I apologize?
Molly grew up an orphan, Ian said, his tone one of patient reason, as if explaining a simple concept to a child. She never had a real birthday until your father adopted her. Shes never been to a party this grand. Youve had parties like this your entire life. Is it really so hard to share just one with her?
His words were like little shards of glass embedding themselves in my heart.
An orphan? They actually believed Julians ridiculous cover story!
Molly wasn't adopted. She was my half-sister, born to my fathers mistress less than a year after I was.
The tension in the room was suffocating. Just as the whispers and mocking glances reached their peak, Julian finally made his appearance, rushing over to play peacemaker.
Ah, Ian, Sean! No need for all this! he said, clapping them on the shoulders with sickening familiarity. Molly is such a sensible girl. I was already planning to celebrate her birthday tonight as well!
He then turned to me, his voice taking on a tone of gentle chiding. Leah! You need to stop being so willful. Molly is your sister, after all!
His words were earnest, but his meaning was clear: I was the selfish, spoiled heiress, and Molly was the blameless victim.
The hypocrisy made me nauseous. I scanned the faces around memy duplicitous father, my treacherous friends, his innocent-looking mistresss daughterand felt a wave of pathetic irony wash over me.
With a final surge of strength, I ripped my arm from Ians grasp.
Fine. If you all want it so badly, then this party is for her. Let the entire night be for Molly Ashton.
If its for her, I thought with a bitter twist in my gut, at least she wont have to spend the night poisoning herself with alcohol to please potential business partners.
I laughed at my own dark humor and walked towards the exit without a backward glance.

3
Leah! What about your present?
Sean caught up to me at the door, hesitating for a moment before holding out a gift box.
I opened it. Inside lay a diamond necklace, clearly expensive.
I was surprised. Id assumed theyd just grabbed some token gift, not something so thoughtful.
I bit my lip, about to say something, when Molly appeared beside us.
You should take it, Leah, she chirped, lifting the necklace from its velvet cushion and moving to fasten it around my neck. They were so busy making my gift by hand that I had to pick this out for them. She giggled. It cost a fortune! But I figured youre the type who likes expensive things. Not like me, Im happy with childish little crafts. They spent so much time on my gift, you know.
The warmth that had begun to seep back into my chest instantly turned to ice.
I stopped her hand before the clasp could close. No, thank you, I said, my voice flat.
I mocked myself for my foolishness.
Of course. It was just a thoughtless, outsourced gift. And Id actually believed for a second that they had chosen it for me.
They were too busy doting on their precious Molly to spare a moment for me.
I dont wear necklaces. If you like it so much, you can have it.
I walked out into the night, not seeing the two men staring holes into my retreating back.
Julian had never assigned me a driver, so I walked home alone under the cloak of darkness.
As I passed the central plaza, I saw three children setting off sparklers.
A little girl stood in the middle, her face lit up with pure joy, her eyes sparkling brighter than the fireworks. On either side of her, two boys held the sparklers aloft, their gazes fixed on her, their faces soft with adoration.
I stopped, a small smile finding its way to my lips.
But as I watched, the smile dissolved, and tears began to stream down my face.
I remembered when my grades slipped, and the Ashton family staff whispered behind my back about how I was a disappointment. It was Ian who had patiently tutored me for hours until I understood.
I remembered being bullied at school, hiding in a bathroom stall to cry because I had no one to stand up for me. It was Sean who found me, who hunted down the bullies and taught them a lesson, coming back bruised and bleeding but grinning and telling me it was nothing.
Back then, everyone said that Ian and Sean Grant were my exclusive knights.
And now?
For Molly, they stood with Julian Ashton. They stood on the opposite side of a battlefield I never wanted to be on.
I wiped my tears, the pain in my chest a physical, crushing weight.
I didnt understand how they, knowing everything I had been through, could so easily align themselves with the man who had caused it all.
Or maybe maybe it was all a lie?
Maybe the salvation I thought Id found was just a game for two bored, wealthy boys.
And as soon as I was gone, Julian brought his real daughter home, and they finally found their true princess.
How nice I murmured, watching the childrens laughing silhouettes.
With a bitter chuckle, I turned and walked away, disappearing into the shadows.

4
The day I was set to leave, I went to the Grants home.
The moment I stepped inside, Eleanor Grant pulled me into a warm embrace, her beautiful face etched with concern.
My dear child, she sighed, leading me to the sofa. I heard about what happened at the party. Those two idiots! I swear, when they get home, Ill give them a piece of my mind for you!
I took her hand, managing a faint smile. Its alright, Eleanor I dont want to be a bother anymore. Im leaving the country today.
A bother? You could never be What? Youre leaving?
Yes This time, Im doing it for me. I lowered my eyes, hiding the turmoil within.
And if all goes well, I wont be coming back.
Eleanor was speechless for a long moment, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears.
Is it the illness? Is it worse? Because of them?
I didnt answer, only squeezed her hand. Ill miss you.
Do they know?
I shook my head. Eleanor let out a long, pained sigh. Of course not. Are you sure you dont want to tell them? When you left for your studies, they were both miserable for months. Maybe this time
Before I could respond, the front door swung open.
Ian and Sean walked in, their arms laden with shopping bags. Trailing behind them, dressed to the nines, was Molly.
Mom, look whos here! Sean called out, his cheerful expression vanishing the moment he saw me. What are you doing here?
Eleanors brow knitted in a sharp line. I invited her. Is that a problem for you?
Sean pouted and shot me a dark look, but said nothing more.
Mom, Molly is here. You havent met her properly yet, Ian said, stepping in to smooth things over. He guided Molly forward.
Shes been preparing for this visit all week. Look, all these are gifts she brought for you.
Molly offered a shy smile and was about to speak, but Eleanor cut her off.
That wont be necessary. She is not welcome in my home.
Mom! Ians voice was sharp.
Dont you Mom me! Eleanor stood, pulling me closer to her side. Have I or have I not told you two that you are not to hurt Leah?
Molly took a step forward, her eyes welling up as if shed been dealt a mortal blow. Mrs. Grant, youve misunderstood! They were just trying to protect me she choked out, her voice trembling.
Im sorry, its all my fault I shouldnt have made Leah upset If youre going to blame someone, please, blame me Tears streamed down her face, the perfect picture of a brave, tragic heroine.
It worked. Ians expression softened instantly. He wrapped an arm around her, turning to his mother with a hard edge to his voice. Mom! Can you please stop defending her unconditionally for once?
Eleanor stared at him, stunned, clearly unable to believe her composed, responsible eldest son would ever speak to her that way.
Ian, you disappoint me more than I can say!
For a stepdaughter, youve hurt the girl who grew up with you, and now you raise your voice to your own mother!
So what if shes a stepdaughter? Sean retorted.
Looking at their stubborn, unyielding faces, Eleanor looked like she was about to faint from sheer rage. I quickly rubbed her back, trying to soothe her.
Leah is leaving today! Eleanor finally burst out, pointing a trembling finger at her sons.
She had said it. I knew she was still clinging to the hope that our bond meant something to them.
And wasnt a part of me, a stupid, foolish part, hoping for the same thing? I looked at them, a secret prayer in my heart.
Their response was a cold sneer.
Mom, you dont have to resort to threats like that, Ian said calmly. Leah is waiting to inherit the Ashton fortune. Shes not going anywhere.
Besides, Sean added, even if she leaves, what does that have to do with us?
My heart, which I thought couldnt break any further, splintered into dust.
I looked at the two of them, the boys I once loved, as if they were complete strangers. My voice was a raw whisper. It was me I lied to Mrs. Grant. Im sorry Im begging you, please, just go. Dont upset your mother anymore
Ians gaze on me was deep and unreadable. He didnt say another word, simply turned and led Molly out of the house.
Sean glanced back over his shoulder, a flicker of conflict on his face, as if he wanted to say something. But in the end, he followed them, leaving without a word.
Eleanor watched them go, a single, heavy sigh escaping her lips.
Leah, she said, her voice heavy with sorrow. Youre doing the right thing. I wont stop you anymore.
Go. Be free.

5
Its been a month since I left.
Today is Christmas, and the streets are thronged with people.
Across the crowded square, I saw them. The two people I thought I would never have to see again.
The smile fell from my face. Without a seconds hesitation, I turned and ran.
I didnt get two steps before a hand closed around my wrist.
I whipped around to find Ians cool, sculpted face just inches from mine.
His clothes were disheveled, his usual perfect composure completely gone.
Before I could react, Sean was there too, blocking my path.
He looked just as haggard. His hair, which he was usually so meticulous about, was a mess.
I was confused, but my overriding instinct was to flee.
I had no idea why they were here, but I knew one thing for certain: nothing good could come of this.
What are you doing here? I asked, my voice dripping with ice. Im on the other side of the world. Im no threat to your precious Molly.
Their faces tightened at my words, but for the first time, they didnt argue back.
Leah, come home with us.
I laughed, a harsh, ugly sound. Come home? To what? To be your personal punching bag?
Seans head drooped. The explosive temper was gone, replaced by a pleading tone Id never heard from him before. Leah we messed up. We neglected you we didnt mean for any of it to happen. You cant just disappear.
I found the notion so absurd I wanted to scream.
They didnt mean it? So I was just collateral damage? I deserved to be targeted, to be ostracized, to become a villain in their eyes for simply existing?
I didnt want to talk to them anymore. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Ethan Vance waving at me from a short distance away.
He reached my side in a few strides and gently but firmly pried my hand from Ians grasp.
Ethan was the psychologist my grandfather had found for me.
He knew my story. He knew these two men were the source of my illness. Without a word, he took my hand and started to lead me away.
Sean blocked his path, his eyes narrowed with suspicion.
Dr. Vance? How do you know Leah?
I froze. They knew Ethan?
Ian must have seen the confusion on my face.
The Vance and Grant families have business dealings, he explained, his deep eyes boring into mine. Hes a renowned psychologist Leah, how do you know him?
The implication dawned on Sean, and his gaze snapped to me, sharp and intense.
But youre better now, arent you?
Better? I scoffed. Did I ever say that? You two never gave a damn about my health. Why are you asking now?
But your father and Molly both said you were fine They said thats why you went abroad, to get away from us.
A wave of exhaustion crashed over me.
Because Molly said it, they believed it. Just like that.
Then you can go on believing Im fine.
Ignoring their pleas, I turned my back on them, my face a cold mask, and let Ethan lead me away.
I had no idea that walking away this time would be the biggest turning point of my life.

6
I was in a car accident.
I woke up to the sterile white ceiling of a hospital room and the anxious face of my grandfather.
The doctor said Id sustained a head injury and might have some memory loss.
But as I searched my mind, everything seemed more or less intact.
Except for two people. Their shadows haunted every corner of my memory, but for the life of me, I couldnt picture their faces.
My grandfather sighed, patting my hand. If you cant remember, then dont try, he said gently. Its for the best, my dear.
I didnt understand, but I did as he said.
One day, while walking in the hospital garden, a man suddenly appeared in front of me.
He looked frantic, his eyes wide as he stared at me.
Unsettled, I turned to walk away.
But my path was blocked by another man who looked almost identical to the first.
They stood on either side of me, their eyes mirroring the same profound, heart-wrenching pain.
Leah
I frowned. Who are you? How do you know my name?
They started to explain, but my grandfather rushed down, pulling me behind him and shielding me from their approach.
I could only watch as they pleaded with him, their voices desperate.
They said Im sorry over and over, their eyes growing red.
But my grandfather was resolute. He sent them away.
When I asked him who they were, his expression grew grim. He took my hand and said, My dear child, its better not to know. They arent important.
After that, I started seeing them everywhere.
They would find ways to see me when my grandfather wasnt around.
Every morning, a new bouquet of fresh flowers would be at my bedside.
They tried everything to win my favor, but whenever I saw them, an inexplicable sadness would wash over me.
I finally told them about it, asking them to please stop coming.
But the calmer one, the one called Ian, his eyes immediately turned red.
The other one, Sean, just broke down, grabbing my hand and apologizing relentlessly.
Leah we were wrong. Weve already made those people pay for what they did. Please, dont dont do this to yourself because of us
I didnt know what they were sorry for.
I didnt know who theyd made pay.
But my heart began to throb with a familiar, agonizing pain, and tears I couldnt control began to fall.

7
There was someone else who visited me often during my recovery.
His name was Ethan Vance. I remembered he was my psychologist.
But Id forgotten why I was so sick in the first place.
I only had a vague feeling that it had something to do with those two men
Whenever I tried to remember them, a sharp pain would shoot through my head.
Ethan would gently tell me not to force it.
He was endlessly patient, guiding me through my physical therapy and filling the quiet hours with fascinating stories.
He pulled me back from the brink of despair again and again. The feeling was so familiar, as if Id experienced it a thousand times before in my childhood
I couldnt place it, and simply attributed it to his kind nature.
Over that month in the hospital, we grew closer.
That feeling of familiar comfort, combined with his gentle care, made me realize I was falling in love with him.
I told him so, directly.
His face flushed a deep red, but he met my gaze without flinching.
I knew. He felt the same way.
On my last day in the hospital, in the privacy of my room, we shared our first kiss.
I buried my face in his chest, shy and giddy. When I glanced up, my happiness froze.
Two men were standing in the doorway.
They were holding bouquets of flowers, their eyes crimson.
And they were staring right at us.
It was Ian and Sean.
I will never forget the raw, devastating anguish in their eyes.
It washed over me like a tidal wave.
And there it was again. That crushing pain, flooding my heart.
Ethan held me close, murmuring comforting words as he slipped a pill into my mouth.
I dont know what he said to them. Their expressions were tortured, almost savage, but after a long look at my pale, trembling form, they turned and left.
I was discharged from the hospital.
My physical recovery was going well. Except for the missing pieces of my memory, everything was slowly returning to normal.
But for some reason, I constantly had the feeling that I was being watched.
I tried to ignore it, telling myself I was just being paranoid.
Until one evening, after a date with Ethan, the world went black. I collapsed, and when I woke up, I was in a strange house.

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