The Measure of a Wife

1
It was an evening like any other.
I was at the sink washing dishes when Tobys voice drifted in from the living room, carrying its usual cool detachment.
Cant you read a book or something? Try to improve yourself.
My hands stopped moving.
He continued, In the future, Lily is going to need more than a mother whos just a housekeeper.
Clang. The plate hit the drying rack with a sharp crack.
I froze.
And in that single, shattering moment, I understood everything.
He was comparing me to someone else. Some new standard I was failing to meet.

2
Our six-year-old daughter was in the room, so I held my tongue and finished tidying the kitchen without a word.
Lily, honey, why dont you go to your room and draw for a bit?
Once she was gone, I turned on the television and flipped to a trashy soap opera.
A frown creased Tobys brow.
Arent you going to do the dishes? Theyll start to smell.
He had a sensitive nose. The house had to be immaculate, free of any lingering odors. Anything that might create a smell had to be dealt with immediately.
I poured myself a cup of tea and kept my eyes glued to the screen.
If its a job anyone can do, then you do it.
Toby let out a short, humorless laugh.
I was just offering a suggestion. Its for Lilys benefit, too. Is there any need to be so dramatic?
Wash them or dont. Its up to you.
The drama on screen was reaching its climax. The wife and the mistress were in a screaming match in public. The husband wrapped his arms protectively around the mistress, shouting at his wife.
Look at you, youre acting like a madwoman! Do you have any shred of dignity left? Every day I have to look at your sloppy, unkempt face, and it makes me sick.
The wife looked utterly destroyed, incapable of fighting back as her husband stormed away with the triumphant mistress in his arms.
It was, admittedly, garbage television.
I turned my head to look at Toby.
Do you think all cheating men invent excuses like that to cover up the simple fact that they cant control themselves?
His expression tightened for a second before his cool mask slipped back into place.
What kind of question is that? How would I know?
I didnt reply, just held his gaze.
I saw his Adams apple bob as he swallowed. He spoke again.
If you have so much free time on your hands, you should sign up for a class. Improve your skills. Dont waste your life on this meaningless drivel.
I switched off the TV and stood up to go to the bedroom.
As I passed him, I made sure to add, Dont forget the dishes, Professor.
The next day, I hired a part-time housekeeper to handle the cooking and cleaning.
When Toby came home that evening, Lily and I had already finished dinner. He saw the stranger in our home and frowned, his eyes questioning me.
The new housekeeper, I said simply.
You know I dont like having strangers in the house. You should go back to cooking. Im used to your food after all these years.
I smiled. After all these years, shouldnt you be sick of it by now?
Ive never been one to suffer in silence. Back in school, when bullies came after me, Id fight back so effectively theyd be crying for their mothers, but youd barely find a mark on them. I, on the other hand, always made sure to look like the victim.
Faced with my sarcasm, Toby sighed.
I make one little comment, and you hold a grudge this long. Thea, you cant stay a child forever. Some of those rough edges need to be smoothed out. You need to be a better role model for our daughter
I picked up a water glass and hurled it at his feet. It shattered on the floor.
Are you done?
If youre not eating, Ill have the housekeeper throw it out.
Ignoring his stunned expression, I turned to the startled woman and spoke in a gentle voice. Thats all for tonight, thank you. Please come back at the same time tomorrow.
Maam, should I do the dishes?
I shook my head. No, thank you. I have someone else in mind for that job.
After she left, Toby looked like he was about to explode.
You act like this in front of strangers?
What, am I embarrassing you? Tarnishing the great Professors reputation? Am I not worldly enough for you? Not cultured enough? Not as good as whoever youre comparing me to out there?
Thea, youre being completely irrational!
He slammed the door on his way out.
Irrational. Right.

3
But he used to love this part of me. He once told me that my bright, fiery personality had shown him a world he never knew existed. He was captivated by the collision of our two different worlds, our opposite natures. He said it made his life complete.
I joined the universitys kickboxing club as a freshman. I was one of the few women who endured the brutal training all the way to the finals.
Toby, who looked like a delicate scholar who might be knocked over by a strong breeze, fell for me the first time he saw me in the ring, sweat-drenched and fearless.
Your name is Thea, hed said once, It sounds so gentle. It doesnt match your personality at all.
What? You see a name like that and expect some delicate literary genius? Sorry to disappoint you, professor. Im more of a fighter.
He shook his head, flustered. No, no, thats not what I meant. I think youre youre so cool. Like a warrior from an old story, fighting for justice. Ive Ive never met anyone like you.
Hed lowered his head then, his ears turning bright red.
Well, you have now, Id said. Guess youll get used to it.
I turned to leave, but his urgent voice stopped me. Wait! Can I can I get your number?
Sure.
He was a man of few words, and I wasnt much for small talk. We didnt interact much after that.
Then one day, he was on his way back from his part-time job when a group of local thugs cornered him, demanding protection money. With his slender build, it was clear he couldnt take a punch.
Since hed called me a warrior, and I happened to be there, I figured I should probably live up to the title.
Hey! Picking on someone weaker than you? How brave. Why dont you try a few rounds with me?
They swarmed me instantly. Clearly, I was the more interesting target.
Toby had been prepared to take a beating rather than give them his money. But seeing them turn on me, his eyes went red with fury.
Thea! Run! Dont worry about me!
I shot him a look. Maybe try a different kind of cheerleading.
I didnt have much time, so after a quick warm-up, the fight was on. I had some training, but there were a lot of them. I took a few hitsa couple of scrapes on my face, a twisted arm.
Toby cried the whole way to the clinic, and I laughed at him the whole way there.
After that, he said a debt like that could only be repaid with a lifetime.
Later, we graduated. I started my own business. He went on to grad school, climbing the academic ladder until he became a tenured professor.
I funded most of that journey.
He went from a small-town kid who studied his way out to a level of success most people only dream of. Back in his tiny hometown, he was a local hero. His parents, who had been farmers their whole lives, were the envy of the entire town.
He used to say I was his guardian angel.
Our life got better and better. We moved into bigger houses. We had our daughter. To take care of her, I stepped back, handed the daily operations of my company over to a professional manager, and focused on building our home.
And now, he was starting to resent me for it.
I didnt know how far things had gone with his reference point out there, but my gut told me they were still in the early, simmering stages.
Without proof, there was nothing I could do. For now.
But I had money, and I had time. I was more than willing to play his game.
Toby remained meticulous. His hair was always perfect, his shirts crisp and without a single wrinkle. He never came home smelling of anything he shouldnt. He was still the dedicated academic, Professor Toby.
The only change was that after that night, doing the dishes became his job.
It was another ordinary day. I needed a book on contract law for a potential company acquisition, so I went into his study. I found it and was about to leave when a flash of red from a gap in the bookshelf caught my eye. It looked out of place.
A strange feeling pulled me toward it.

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