Please Don’t Be Angry, Mom and Dad

I thought my parents gave me all their love.
They decorated a princess room for me, overflowing with countless Barbies. They even splurged on renovating the bathroom just to put in a big bathtub for me, all because I loved my baths.
They always told my little brother, Leo, that his job was to protect me for his entire life.
But that all changed after I gave him a bubble bath, and he accidentally choked on a bit of water.
My mom went ballistic. Her fingers dug into my neck, her voice a furious hiss.
We thought if we were good to you, youd learn to love your brother! We never imagined you were such an ungrateful little monster, trying to drown him!
I shook my head frantically, but she just dragged me over to the front-loading washing machine and shoved me inside.
You love baths so much, right? Fine! You can wash to your hearts content!
My parents rushed out the door with Leo, but in their panic, one of them must have bumped the start button.
Water began to pour in, but I couldn't climb out.
Tangled with the laundry, I forced my eyes open and saw them rushing back in.
I dont want a bath anymore. Mom, Dad, can you please not be angry anymore?

1
The washing machine began to hum, a low, menacing rumble. I pounded on the thick glass door, my small fists making dull thuds.
Daddy, Mommy, its on! Let me out!
Water streamed in from the pipes, cold and fast. I curled into a ball, but it rose quickly, already reaching my chest.
I sputtered, swallowing a mouthful. On the other side of the glass, my parents were pacing, cradling my coughing little brother.
Mommy, Daddy, I choked too! I tried to shout, my voice a muffled plea.
If only one of them would just turn around. One glance was all it would take to save me.
I threw all my weight against the door, but it wouldn't budge. I remembered them talking about it oncehow theyd bought this specific model with a child lock, just in case I got big enough to be mischievous and climb inside. Once it was locked, it was locked for good.
The drum began to twitch, then slowly turn. The icy touch of the metal walls pressed against my skin. Suddenly, the whole world jolted and then began to spin. An irresistible force threw me up, slammed me down, and threw me up again. My body crashed against the hard drum with a sickening thud.
I tried to scream for help, but the moment I opened my mouth, soapy, sweet-smelling water flooded my mouth and nose.
Dad, Mom
Dizziness washed over me, a crushing weight on my chest. I fought to keep my eyes open, desperate for one last look at them. I saw them, a blur of motion, hastily pulling on their jackets.
I am so disappointed in Penny, my moms voice cut through the roar. If shed do this to her brother while we're right here, who knows what she does in private. She needs to learn a real lesson this time.
What do we do, honey? Dad sounded panicked. Leos been coughing forever, his face is turning red.
The hospital. Were going to the hospital, now!
The machines first spin cycle paused. The suffocating water slowly drained away, but my relief was short-lived as a new gush began to pour in.
Terrified, I used every last bit of my strength to bang on the glass. Daddy, Mommy, please save me! Penny cant hold on!
My mom, who was putting on her shoes, froze. She walked towards me!
Mommy, help me, I whimpered, a flicker of hope igniting in my chest. I knew it. She was just trying to scare me. Id never, ever hurt Leo again, not even by accident.
She reached out a hand, but not for the door handle. She stood a few feet away, her face a mask of disappointment as she pointed a finger at me.
You still dont think youre wrong, do you? Trying to break the machine to show me youre angry? Penny, your brother is two years old! The first word he learned was sis, and this is how you treat him?
You can stay in there and think about what youve done. Weve spoiled you rotten, and thats how you became so entitled.
I cried and shook my head, feeling the water rising up my back again. My head was still spinning from the first cycle. I weakly slapped the glass to get her attention, but it only fueled her rage.
She kicked the machine, the metal frame vibrating from the impact. You dare talk back to me?!
No, no, Mommy!
The water will fill the whole thing! I cant survive that!
I started praying for the water to rise faster, so shed see the danger and let me out. A soft beep echoed, and I braced myself, pushing against the walls with my arms and legs. Just hold on. As soon as she opens the door, Ill be safe.
But then, the drum began to turn again, and my dad walked over, holding Leo.
Honey, stop wasting time being angry with Penny. We need to get to the hospital.
No
I watched in horror as my mom turned her back on me and walked away. The front door slammed shut.
The next second, the machine roared to life.
The world spun, tossing me back and forth, a discarded rag in a violent storm.

2
When I opened my eyes again, I was floating in mid-air.
I thought Id been saved. My first instinct was to go find Mom and Dad. But I didnt want to make them angry again, so I quietly went to my room and curled up amongst my Barbies, drifting off to sleep.
I dont know how long I was asleep, but I woke to the sound of the front door opening.
Mom and Dad were back, carrying Leo. In Dads other hand was a huge, ride-on electric toy car.
Thank God Leos okay, Dad said with a sigh of relief. Otherwise, Penny would have been in serious trouble.
Our little boy went through a lot, Mom said, deliberately raising her voice and glancing towards the laundry room. This toy car is to make up for it! From now on, whoever gets hurt gets a present. The one who does the hurting gets put in time-out!
They exchanged a look, then tilted their heads, listening for a sound from the washing machine. After a long moment of silence, they both frowned and sneered.
See? Still sulking, Mom scoffed. If she wants to stay in there, let her. Its not like the machine is running. Shes not going to die.
I floated back and forth in front of them. Mommy, Daddy, Im already out! Cant you see me?
Pennys not sulking. Please dont say that about me.
I kept trying to talk to them, but it was like I was invisible. Their eyes passed right through me. I tried to touch them, but my hand phased straight through their bodies.
It was only then that I realized the horrible truth.
I think I died in the washing machine.
I drifted over and peered through the glass door.
A small figure was curled up inside, twisted into a strange, unnatural position.
Was that me?
I turned back to see my parents cooing over Leo.
Oh well.
This was my punishment.
At least this way, I wouldnt have to wash Leos dirty diapers anymore.
They hadnt spent any real time with me since he was born. Now, maybe I could be with them all the time.
I swallowed the heavy lump in my throat and forced a smile.
For dinner, Dad made my favorite: BBQ ribs.
After feeding Leo, they sat at the table, their faces grim, and glanced towards the laundry room again.
Dad spoke first. Penny, come out and eat.

3
The only reply was the soft gurgle from Leo.
Mom slammed her bowl down on the table, her patience gone. Fine, dont eat! Who spoiled you into this brat? You screw up and then you throw a tantrum? Dont eat now, dont eat ever!
I might as well have given birth to a bad seed, she muttered. Everyone says its impossible to treat two kids equally. We thought if we were extra nice to you, youd be nice to your brother. Instead, it just made you an arrogant, ungrateful brat.
Just leave her, Dad said. Its not comfortable in there. Shes so delicate, she wont last long. Shes probably already snuck back to her room.
I floated nearby, listening, a stinging sensation building behind my eyes.
Mommy, I really didnt mean it. I was just trying to help you give Leo a bath.
They ignored me. They ate most of the ribs, and my mom took the leftovers outside to feed a stray dog.
Id get more gratitude from a dog than from her, she said bitterly.
I didnt dare follow them anymore. I curled up in my room, a lonely ghost.
My parents were laughing as they played with Leo. They read him a picture book, and Moms voice was so gentlea gentleness I hadnt heard directed at me in a very long time.
I listened until I fell asleep, only to be woken by my mothers shout.
Penny, your brothers looking for you again! Get out here and play with him!
I stared at my closed bedroom door.
But Mommy, Im dead. I cant help you, even if I want to.
If youd just open the washing machine door, just for a second, youd see that Im gone.
Penny! Have you had enough of this? My patience with you has reached its limit!
After a moment of silence in the living room, my bedroom door was thrown open. My mom stormed in, Dad right behind her.
They froze when they saw the empty room. Dad looked around, even checking under the bed.
Wheres Penny?
I thought theyd be worried. I thought theyd finally run to the washing machine.
But Moms face just grew colder. Shes small, but shes full of tricks. Where else could she be? She must have snuck out and run to Grandmas to tattle on us while we were gone!
Who spoiled her into this monster? She wants to play games with me? Fine! Lets play!
Mom spun around and marched toward my collection of Barbie dolls. She grabbed a pair of scissors and started snipping off their hair, then their heads. She snapped off their arms and legs, throwing the mangled pieces on the floor and stomping on them with her heel.
I cried, trying to push her away, but it was useless.
Mommy, Im not throwing a tantrum. I want to be with you, but I cant. Im trapped in that machine forever.
Dad sighed. Forget it. We dont have time for this now. If shes at your moms place, it gives us a break anyway. Ill go do Leos laundry.
Laundry?
I followed him. He grabbed a small pile of clothes and walked toward the washing machine.
My non-existent heart started to pound. I was terrified of them seeing the gruesome scene inside, but also desperate for them to find me. Once Dad saw me, Mom would have to believe I wasnt just throwing a fit.
I know it was pointless, but I stretched out my little ghostly hands and tried to cover his eyes.
But before he could bend down and open the door, Mom called out.
You cant put baby clothes in the washing machine! Wash them by hand!
Dejected, I lowered my hands and glanced back at the machine. In the sealed, warm environment, my body I think it was starting to swell. A faint, unpleasant smell was beginning to seep out.
I had been gone for two full days. It wasnt until the evening of the second day that Dad finally nudged Mom to call my grandma.
Why dont you call your mom and ask if Penny is behaving over there? Make sure shes okay.
Mom reluctantly picked up her phone, grumbling as she dialed.
Shes a big girl, what could happen to her? Honestly, sometimes I look at her and I just get so angry. Id rather have no daughter than one so thoughtless. It would have been better if she just died.
I looked down, picking at my fingers, too sad to speak.
But Mommy, your wish came true.
When the call connected, Mom asked bluntly, Mom, is Penny at your house? Is she giving you any trouble?
On the other end, Grandmas voice boomed. Whatd you say?

4
I thought she was asking in shock, but her next words dashed my hopes.
I couldnt hear you! Speak up!
The light in my eyes dimmed again.
Just as Mom was about to speak, Leo started crying. The answer that was on the tip of her tongue was lost forever.
Oh, never mind, never mind. I have to go check on the baby.
For the next few days, my parents didn't mention me again.
Dad went to work every day like clockwork. But Leo suddenly started refusing his bottle and spitting up his food. Worried sick, Mom took him to several hospitals, but nothing worked.
Then, she heard from a friend, Aunt Jenna, about a renowned traditional doctor.
She called Aunt Jenna, her voice dripping with false sweetness.
Oh, Jenna, hi! Your son Kyle hasnt come over to play with my Penny in ages. Ill send Penny over in a few days to keep him company.
A chill ran down my spine.
I had played with Aunt Jennas son before. He was a bully. He once hit me over the head with a chair. Another time, he made me watch as he strangled a newborn kitten. The nightmares haunted me for a month. My parents had strictly forbidden me from ever seeing Kyle again. Mom said he was trouble, that hed even gouged another kids eye once.
Aunt Jenna laughed coldly on the phone. I thought Penny didnt like playing with my son.
Mom lowered her voice, sounding almost desperate. Jenna, I heard you know a really good doctor. My son hasnt been eating lately. Do you think you could take me to see him sometime? I could drop Penny off at your place while we go. The kids can keep each other company.
My heart sank.
To find a doctor for Leo, my mom was willing to just throw me to the wolves.
I wanted to leave this house, but I couldnt. It was as if I was tethered to my parents. I started to hope, to pray, that someone, anyone, would find me.
Then one day, just as Mom and Dad were about to leave with Leo, both sets of my grandparents showed up.
They were all carrying presents. The wrapping paper was pink and sparkly. Were they for me?
A little spark of excitement lit up inside me, but my moms brow furrowed when she saw them.
Mom, Dad, how many times have I told you? You have to be fair! These gifts are all for Penny. What about my son? she complained. He might be young, but hes not stupid. This will hurt his feelings. When you have two kids, you cant play favorites.
My paternal grandma frowned and brought in a strawberry cake from the hallway, her expression annoyed.
How can you, his own mother, forget your daughters birthday? Of course were bringing her presents.
A wave of warmth finally washed over me.
My grandparents all remembered my birthday. I was still a loved child. The strawberry cake smelled so sweet, my absolute favorite. I circled it, nuzzling my cheek against my grandmas arm.
Grandma looked around the apartment. Wheres Penny?
My parents froze, their faces flashing with embarrassment before they turned to my maternal grandma.
Yeah, Mom, we were just about to come to your place to pick her up, Dad said quickly.
Since you were coming for her birthday, why didnt you bring her with you? Mom added.
My maternal grandparents frowned deeply. When did you ever bring her to our house? You two must be losing your minds from stress.
With that, all four of them went to check my room.
Penny? Grandmas sweet girl, come on out! Look what Grandma got for your birthday!
My parents stood stiffly in the doorway, their bodies rigid.
My paternal grandma searched the whole apartment and came out again, her voice sharp with worry. Where is the child? When was the last time you saw her?
My parents started to tremble, an uncontrollable shaking that ran through their bodies.
They didnt speak. They couldnt. Their eyes, wide with a dawning horror, drifted towards the washing machine.