After He Left Me For Dead

New Years Eve. The night Leo left me, pregnant and shivering, on the side of the road. He was on his way to a fireworks show with his assistant. All for her.

From the passenger seat, the assistant, Zoe, made a show of telling him to bring me along.

Leo just glanced at me, my arms wrapped around myself against the biting wind. Zoes been working so hard. I want this night to be special for her. His voice was flat, devoid of pity. Youre pregnant. You shouldnt be out this late anyway. Besides, he added, a familiar curl of contempt in his voice, youve never understood things like this. This kind of romance.

His final words before driving off were, Im not coming home tonight. Dont bother me and Zoe.

As his taillights disappeared, the sky behind me exploded in a million-dollar cascade of light and colorhis gift to her. I stood there for a moment, the lone audience to their celebration, before I turned and started the long walk to the hospital, my hand resting on my stomach.

To end the pregnancy.

After this, I would never again have to beg Leo to come with me to an ultrasound.

1

I woke up in the sterile quiet of a recovery room, the distant pop-pop-pop of the fireworks echoing against the windowpane. The lights bursting across the dark sky blurred through the tears welling in my eyes. My poor, unborn child. Never even had a chance to see how beautiful they were.

A young nurse came in, her face pressed to the glass. Wow, she sighed, her voice full of envy. Thats the show from Axton Corps CEO, Leo Axton. For his new girlfriend, they said. A million dollars worth of fireworks. Theyve been going for five hours straight. Can you imagine anything more romantic?

Ten years together, and Leo had never once bought me a single firework.

Whenever Id mentioned it, hed scoff. Whats the point of something that only lasts a few minutes? Its such a waste of money, Tessa. Youre so frivolous.

He never knew I adored them. Just like he never knew he was the one who didnt understand romance.

I picked up my phone and dialed a number I knew by heart. Professor Albright, I said, my voice hoarse. Last year you offered me a spot in the conservatory program in Vienna. Ive thought about it. I want to go.

His voice on the other end was electric with excitement. Tessa! Its about time! With your talent, you should have been one of the greats by now!

Its a shame he trailed off.

A shame. Yes, it was. A shame that I had given up the piano for Leo. Given up my life to be a stay-at-home wife, my fingers gathering dust instead of dancing across ivory keys. I never imagined that the marriage I sacrificed everything for would bring me nothing but one wound after another.

After a week of recovery in the hospital, I was discharged. I walked into our cold, silent house to find Leo there, a rare sight. Between his long days at the office and his longer nights with Zoe, hed become a ghost in his own home.

He saw me and let out a short, irritated scoff. So you finally decide to come home. You throw a tantrum and run off just because I spent New Years with Zoe. He crossed his arms. Were you waiting for me to call and beg you to come back?

I looked at him, my voice flat. No. I was in the hospital.

He froze for a second, his bravado faltering. Then, anger flared in his eyes. And you didnt tell me?

It was true. In the past, even when he ignored my texts for days, I would send him a full itinerary of my every move. A pathetic attempt to stay on his radar.

I met his gaze without flinching. I forgot.

My indifference seemed to enrage him more than any argument ever had. Is this really just because I didnt spend New Years with you? Ive spent so many with you, Tessa. This was the one time I was with Zoe.

A bitter laugh escaped my lips. Leo, we have never spent a single New Years Eve together.

First, the excuse was that his startup was too demanding. Then, it was parties with friends and clients, leaving me to wait alone by the window for his car to pull into the driveway. Hed forgotten. He had actually forgotten that he had never, not once, chosen to be with me when the clock struck midnight.

A flicker of memory, then guilt, crossed his face. He pulled me into an awkward hug. Im sorry, he murmured into my hair. Youre right. Im sorry. After the baby is born, I promise. Every New Years Eve, it will be just us.

Ten years Id waited for that promise. Now, it was just an empty sound.

I pulled away without a word and walked to the music room, needing to feel the familiar weight of the keys under my fingers. But the room was a disaster. And my piano my piano was destroyed.

It was the piano my mother had bought me with her entire lifes savings before she passed. It was the most important thing I owned.

Leo followed me in, his tone casual, dismissive. Oh, that. Zoe was playing around on it the other day. Guess she broke it by accident.

One look told me it was no accident. The polished wood was gouged, the lid cracked. This was deliberate. Leo knew what this piano meant to me. He knew Id fly into a rage if anyone so much as touched it without my permission.

Seeing my face darken, he sneered. Its just a damn piano, Tessa. Zoe broke it, Ill buy you a new one. Is it really worth getting this worked up about?

I lifted the fallboard. The keys were chipped and stained, pitted as if someone had taken a hammer to them. And lying across the mangled ivory was a scrap of pink lace and ribbon. A thong.

Leo lunged, snatching it away. Zoe must have left it here, he said, his eyes darting away from mine. Its not what you think. Nothing happened.

But I knew. The placement, the desecration. They had used my mothers pianomy sanctuaryfor that. A wave of nausea washed over me.

Sensing my revulsion, a flicker of guilt finally broke through his anger. He took my hand, trying to change the subject. Tessa, come on. Lets get you to your appointment. Ill go with you to the ultrasound today.

He forgot. He forgot I had just come from the hospital. He never even asked what I was doing there for a week. This was the first time he had ever offered to come with me. Every other time, I had pleaded, and he had always refused, citing work, calling me selfish and needy for trying to distract him from his responsibilities. All I had ever wanted was what every other woman in the waiting room had: a husband by her side. Just once.

Now the baby was gone. I no longer needed him.

Leo placed a hand on my stomach, a frown creasing his brow. Youve lost weight. Thats not good for the baby. Ill hire a nutritionist, get you some healthy meals.

I shook my head, my voice quiet but firm. Leo, dont bother.

The baby is

Before I could finish, his phone buzzed. He glanced at the screen and immediately walked out of the room to take the call. When he returned, his expression was already distant. An emergency at the office, he said, the lie worn and familiar. Youll have to go to the appointment by yourself this time.

It was always Zoe. Any call from her was an emergency. I had tried to fight it in the past, tried to make him stay. It only ever made him resent me more.

Suddenly, a sharp, twisting pain shot through my abdomenan aftershock from the procedure. I doubled over, clutching my stomach.

Leos brow furrowed in irritation, not concern. Tessa, can you stop with the dramatics? Do you really think that just because youre pregnant, I have to drop everything and revolve around you?

He turned and walked out, slamming the door behind him.

I fumbled in my purse for the painkillers the doctor had prescribed, swallowed them with a dry throat, and collapsed onto the bed.

When I woke up, I scrolled through my phone. A new post from Zoe popped up on my feed.

My boss is the absolute best~ Got my period and the cramps were killing me, and he dropped everything to come take care of me~

I let out a hollow laugh. In Leos world, his assistants period cramps were an emergency. His wifes pregnancy was a nuisance.

A moment later, my phone rang. It was him. For a foolish second, I thought it might be a flicker of concern.

Tessa, he said, his voice urgent and annoyed. What brand of pads do you use?

The question hit me like a physical blow.

Zoe, the idiot, forgot to buy any.

I thought back to a time years ago, when my period had come unexpectedly. I was wearing white pants, and a large, crimson stain had blossomed on the fabric. I was mortified, stranded at a cafe without any supplies. I had called Leo, begging him to run to the drugstore across the street.

Youre asking me, a man, to buy you pads? he had hissed into the phone, his voice laced with disgust. How humiliating is that? What if someone sees me?

But now, for Zoe, there was no disgust. Only concern.

And is it normal for cramps to be this bad? he continued, his voice a frantic buzz in my ear. She looks like shes in so much pain. What can I do to help? Should I buy her medicine? Or make her one of those brown sugar drinks? Does she need a heating pad? What about

He was terrified of letting Zoe feel an ounce of discomfort. He had never, not even once since Id gotten pregnant, shown me this level of care.

The love I thought wed had felt like a pathetic joke.

Have you ever heard of Google? I asked, my voice dripping with ice.

I hung up before he could answer.

The next morning, he called again, his voice simmering with rage. Tessa, youve got a lot of nerve hanging up on me. But Ill give you one chance to make it up. Get over to Zoes place and cook for her. If you do, Ill forgive you.

He paused, then added, Oh, and she loves your honey-glazed short ribs. Make sure you make those.

The breath caught in my throat. A sharp, physical pain lanced through my chest.

I finally understood. For the past year, there was a period where Leo suddenly started loving the lunches I packed for him. He was especially ravenous for the short ribs. I thought I had finally found a way to his heart through his stomach. I spent hours perfecting the recipe, my hands calloused and dotted with burns from the splashing oil, all because I thought it was his favorite.

It was never his favorite. It was hers. He was just taking my food to her.

I wiped a tear from the corner of my eye. Leo, you could hire any chef in the city who could cook better than I can. Why does it have to be me?

His voice became a command. Zoe said she wants yours. You will be there today. End of discussion. He hung up.

I walked to Zoes apartment with a single file folder in my purse. Some things between Leo and me needed to end. Today.

Zoe opened the door, a picture of faux humility. Oh, Tessa, hi! I feel so bad. I just had a craving for your short ribs, and Leo insisted on calling you, even though I told him the cooking fumes cant be good for the baby with you being pregnant and all. Her voice was laced with the triumph of being his chosen one. I was no longer his wife; I was their caterer.

Ignoring her, I walked past her to where Leo was sitting on the couch and placed the folder on the coffee table. Sign this, I said, my voice even. And Ill cook.

He didnt even glance at the document. He just scrawled his name on the signature line.

Arent you afraid its our divorce papers? I asked.

He let out a derisive laugh. And so what if it is? Is that more important than making Zoe happy? Besides, he said, looking me up and down with disdain, youre pregnant. You wouldnt dare divorce me. Who else would want you?

His casual cruelty sealed something inside me. I said nothing more and walked into the kitchen. This would be the last meal I ever cooked for him.

There was a time he loved my cooking. I couldnt pinpoint exactly when that love had curdled into annoyance.

As I worked, the sound of their laughter drifted in from the living room, each peal grating against my nerves. By the time the meal was ready, my body ached with a bone-deep exhaustion. I felt dizzy, my vision tunneling.

Leo looked at me, not with concern, but with contempt. Youre going to faint from making one meal? Pregnancy has made you so fragile. Zoe has cramps and still goes to the office every day without a word of complaint. You sit at home all day. You have no idea what real work is.

It wouldnt matter what I did. In his eyes, there was only Zoe.

She came over, placing a hand on my arm in a cloying gesture of support. Tessa, you must be exhausted. Thank you so much. Oh, your shirt is dirty. Let me take you to my room so you can change into something fresh.

She led me into her bedroom. The floor was littered with more than a dozen used condom wrappers.

Zoe blushed prettily. Oops. My boyfriend is just a little intense. She gave me a sly, pitying look. Is Leo that wild with you, too?

My face went cold. So this was the real reason she brought me in here. This was her trophy room.

I had always believed Leo when he said he was too tired from work. The truth was, he was never too tired. He just didnt want me. Every time I tried to initiate anything, he would call me disgusting. Our baby had been the result of a single, drunken accident.

I looked at the mess on the floor and gave her a cold smile. At that frequency, you might want to worry if your boyfriend will have anything left in a few years.

The color drained from her face.

Back at the dining table, Leo was fawning over her, piling food onto her plate. Here, Zoe, eat up.

She giggled, batting her eyelashes at him. Oh, Leo, you spoil me! Youre the best boss in the world!

Then, she turned to me, scooping a large spoonful of crab roe into my bowl. Thank you again for cooking for me today, Tessa.

I stared at the bowl, my chopsticks frozen in my hand. Zoes face crumpled into a mask of hurt. Did did I do something to upset you, Tessa? Why arent you eating?

Leos face darkened. He stood up and slapped me, hard, across the face. Tessa, dont push your luck.

Before I could react, he grabbed the back of my head and forced my face down into the bowl, shoving the crab roe into my mouth.

I couldnt even struggle. By the time he let go, an intense itching had already started, and angry red welts were erupting across my skin.

Years ago, Leo had promised me, sworn to me, that he would always remember my severe shellfish allergy. He promised he would never let me near it. Now, he was the one forcing it down my throat.

Zoe, who had been smiling a moment before, recoiled in theatrical horror. Leo! Look at her! Thats so gross! Does she have some kind of disease?

Leo saw the hives covering my face and neck and dragged me to my feet, his face a mask of revulsion. He shoved me out the apartment door. Youre disgusting, Tessa. He kicked me away from the door. Dont get her place dirty.

I grabbed at his pant leg, my throat closing, each breath a desperate gasp. Leo, I rasped, call an ambulance. Please.

The only answer was the sound of the door clicking shut.

Luckily, a neighbor saw me and called 911.

Later, as I was waiting at the hospital pharmacy to pick up my prescription, I saw them. Leo and Zoe.

Leo shot me a look of pure annoyance. Zoe, clinging to his arm, smirked at me. I told Leo it was just a tiny cut, but he insisted on bringing me to the ER to get it bandaged. He was so worried it would get infected.

Leo stroked her hair, his voice dripping with concern. That wasnt a tiny cut, it was bleeding.

My own bleeding, the bleeding hed never seen from the life Id lost, didnt even register to him.

He turned his attention back to me, his voice sharp. Its just an allergic reaction. Are you still here?

Thank god he didnt know Id had an abortion. I couldnt imagine what he would have done.

As if granting a great charity, he sighed. Fine. Ill wait and take you to your ultrasound check-up. He walked off to the registration desk without waiting for my reply.

Zoe leaned in close, her voice a venomous whisper. Hes so good to you, isn't he? But if he were really so good to you, would he have spent New Years watching fireworks with me? Would he be living at my place?

She smiled, a slow, cruel curving of her lips. You cant win, Tessa. He loves me now. Youre just the old, pregnant hag hes tired of. He even told me, she added, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial hush, that the stretch marks on your stomach were ugly. That they made him sick just looking at them.

My mind went blank. The marks that he found so disgusting were the only proof my child had ever existed in this world.

Zoe gave me a triumphant little smile, then suddenly slapped herself, twice, hard across the face. She burst into tears just as Leo was walking back. Tessa, please! I swear I didnt seduce Leo! Please dont hit me! she sobbed. Ill stay away from him from now on, I promise! I wont get in your way!

Leo saw her red cheeks and his face contorted with a rage so pure it was terrifying.

He stared at me, his voice a low growl. Tessa, is this how you bully Zoe the second I turn my back? He took a step forward and kicked me, hard, in the stomach.

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