The Baby He Rejected

The call came from a cop.

My husband, he told me, had been caught in a vice raid.

I was numb.

But it wasn't until I got to the precinct, until I saw the face of the woman sobbing in Ethans armsa face contorted into a mask of perfect, pear-blossom sorrowthat the numbness curdled into something else.

A profound, weary sense of pointlessness.

I walked right up to him. Ethan instinctively shielded the woman, his mouth already forming an explanation.

I slapped him. Hard.

Ethan, I said, my voice dangerously quiet.

Youre disgusting.

1

The crack of the slap echoed in the sterile air of the police station. It was so sharp, so final, that even the officer who had been briefing me fell silent. I watched Ethan, his hand cupped to his reddening cheek, still processing. I raised my hand to strike him again, but the woman in his arms suddenly lurched forward, taking the blow for him.

The slap landed on her cheek, and her sobs intensified.

What the hell is wrong with you? she wailed, her voice cracking.

How could you hit him? She glared at me through her tears, a picture of defiant fragility. You dont ask what happened, you dont care about the truth, you just storm in here hitting people. Who do you think you are?

I looked at her, at this masterfully crafted performance, and felt a laugh bubble up, cold and hollow. It was so ridiculous I didnt want to waste a single word on her. I lifted my hand again.

This time, Ethan caught my wrist.

Thats enough.

His voice was ice. This isnt one of your little dramas, Ava, he said, his grip tightening. Can you, for once, not make a scene wherever you go?

He shoved me away.

I stumbled backward, the corner of a desk jamming into my lower back. A dull, throbbing pain shot through me, making me wince. A flicker of guilt crossed Ethans face. He started to reach for me, but the woman beat him to it, stepping forward with a fresh cascade of tears.

Ava, its not what you think, she explained, her voice choked with emotion. Theres nothing going on between me and Ethan. He just he saw I was in trouble and wanted to help me. Someone set us up, they called the cops and lied, said we were you know. Youve been with Ethan for years. You know what kind of man he is.

Her crying grew louder, more desperate, as if she were the one truly wronged.

If I were you, she sobbed, I would never humiliate my husband in public like this. Cant you take it home? Dont you know the most important thing to a man is his pride?

Her tears worked their magic on Ethan. The guilt in his eyes hardened back into cold indifference. He put a protective arm around her, his face a mask of disappointment aimed at me.

There was nothing going on between me and Chloe.

Ive explained this to you a hundred times, he said, his voice sharp as he shielded her. Just because your own mind is dirty, doesnt mean you have to see filth everywhere you look.

On the way here, Id considered every possibility.

Id thought maybe hed been set up, and Id mentally run through the lawyers I would call. Id thought maybe a business rival had framed him to destabilize our company.

But I never, not for a second, thought it would be because of her.

Chloe again.

Always Chloe.

The nightclub hostess Ethan had discovered six months ago. His tragic little thing, the "sad little stray" he couldnt stop talking about. Hed cast himself as God in his own redemption story, determined to save her from her circumstances. It led to furious, explosive fights between us, again and again.

And every single time, he would defend her. It was always my fault. I was the one being aggressive, being unreasonable.

Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I brought up divorce.

That shocked him into silence.

I promise, hed said, his voice breaking. Chloe will never come between us again.

Its you or her. How could I not know who to choose?

He had cried then, begging me for another chance, telling me he loved me.

And my heart, like a fool, had softened.

I thought wed weathered the storm. I thought Chloe had been permanently kicked out of our lives. But it hadnt even been a month, and here she was againhis tragic little stray, making a spectacular return.

I looked at Ethan, standing there as her self-appointed protector, and a fatigue so deep it felt like it was in my bones washed over me. It dragged me down, sucking the very air from my lungs.

Fine. Lets just stop.

2

My voice was a whisper, so quiet that Ethan froze. He asked me to repeat myself.

What did you say?

Ava, he pressed, what did you just say?

I said, lets stop, I repeated, fighting to keep my voice steady. I was done letting this drama dictate my emotions. Ill sign the papers to bail you out. You can keep playing God in your little redemption story. Be her hero.

I ignored the flicker of triumph on Chloes face and met Ethans stunned gaze. I even managed a small, brittle smile. But were done.

Ethan.

Lets get a divorce.

The silence in the car on the way from the station was heavy enough to suffocate.

Ethan refused to accept the divorce, so he forced his way into my passenger seat. Which meant, by extension, his little stray squeezed into the back. Chloe stayed quiet, letting Ethan do the talking.

Theres really nothing between me and Chloe, he began, trying to keep his temper in check.

I was out with Mark and the guys tonight, he explained. We went for karaoke after dinner, and we just happened to run into her.

You know her life is hard, Ava. Shes got her kid, her parents shes all they have. I saw this guy dragging her into his car, so I followed them to the hotel. If it wasnt for me

He was cut off by a sound from the back seat.

Chloe was weeping softly.

Ava.

I never wanted to take anything from you, she said between gasps. My life it hasnt been easy. My ex-husband was abusive. Thats why I left him, to protect my son.

If I didnt have him, my little boy

If my life were different, she stopped crying for a moment, her gaze finding Ethans in the rearview mirror, full of adoration. I would fight for him. I would fight and I would claw for a man like him!

Because hes Ethan!

Because hes a good man!

Because he

I slammed on the brakes.

The Porsche screeched to a halt in the middle of the street. I turned and looked at Chloes stunned face, then at Ethans look of profound, moved pity. I laughed.

Well, in that case, I said, hitting the button to unlock the doors and rolling down the windows. Were right in front of a hotel.

Consider this my blessing.

Youve got money for a room, right? The sneer in my voice was unmistakable as I met Ethans darkening gaze. This time its all above board. You have the wifes official permission.

Go on.

No ones going to call the cops and drag you back to the station.

And as for whether or not you create another little burden, my eyes drifted down to Chloes stomach, thats your business.

The cheap perfume in the car was overwhelming, a cloying scent that felt like an invasive vine wrapping around my heart, making it hard to breathe. I was trying to control myself, but my words had clearly struck a nerve.

Chloe scrambled out of the car, then turned to yell at me.

Ava!

Youre a cruel, heartless bitch!

The second she was out, Ethan turned on me.

I cant believe youve become this twisted, he snarled, grabbing my wrist. Chloe has no one in this city, no friends, no family. Where is she supposed to go this late at night?

3

How can you be so cruel to someone whos done nothing to you?

Ava! Get out of the car and apologize to her!

His grip was bruising.

I looked at this man, the man whose world once revolved entirely around me, and I felt my heart turn to ice, inch by painful inch. I slapped him again, right across the face.

Apologize?

I stared at his shocked expression.

In your dreams.

I reached over, unbuckled his seatbelt, and pointed to the door. Get out.

He stared at me as if I were a complete stranger, a monster hed never seen before. Youre going to regret this, he bit out.

Then, he slammed the door and was gone.

Through the window, I watched him run to catch up with his tragic stray. He grabbed her arm. I saw her struggle for a moment, then collapse into his arms, her body shaking with sobs. A chasm cracked open inside my chest, and a bitter wind howled through it.

The pain was so sharp that my hands were trembling on the steering wheel. As I finally drove past them, two figures huddled together in the cold night, I saw her. Over Ethans shoulder, Chloes eyes met mine. She gave me a look of pure, triumphant victory.

The message was clear.

In this war, she had won.

We were in a deep freeze. A cold war. Ethans friends started calling, all of them acting as peacemakers, all of them pleading his case.

Ava, he just feels sorry for her. Its pity, not love. You cant overthink this, one of our mutual friends, Mark, told me.

You two have been through so much to get here. The last time Ethan got drunk, he was crying your name. He said he said Chloe reminds him of how you used to be, all alone and fighting for everything. He thinks by helping her, hes making up for the times he couldnt protect you back then.

Hearing Mark talk about our past it was like a punch to the gut.

I remembered us, white-knuckling our way up from nothing.

I remembered us as kids, practically fighting stray dogs for scraps.

I remembered the day our parents went on a trip together and never came back, killed in the same accident. We were orphans. Then, greedy relatives picked our inheritance clean, and we went from orphans to homeless kids on the street.

I remembered Ethan holding me tight, his small body trembling as he promised me.

Ava.

Im going to give you a home. I swear it.

Back then, a home was an impossible dream.

Among the citys millions of lights, not a single one was for us. Every brick, every window, was impossibly expensive. But Ethan did it. He put me in a penthouse apartment in the highest glass tower downtown. He filled it with our memories. He was so afraid Id hurt myself that he put soft, cushioned bumpers on every sharp corner of the furniture.

He used to always say.

Ava, in my heart, youll always be a kid.

I want my Ava.

To be the happiest princess in the world.

My little princess.

Now.

Now, my friends were telling me: Come on, every guy messes around a little. Ethans one of the good ones. He doesnt gamble, he doesnt have a mistress. His whole world is you, Ava. Stop making this a big deal.

I knew what this was.

They were his messengers, sent to build a bridge for me to crawl back across. All I had to do was take the first step, and just like every other fight wed ever had, we could pretend nothing happened. We could turn the page.

But for the first time, I didnt want to.

I was stubborn. So stubborn that when I saw Chloes latest post on Instagram, something inside me finally snapped. It was a picture of her and her son on a Ferris wheel, both of them beaming. The caption read:

My son says it doesn't matter if a dad isn't biological. As long as there's love, you're family.

And there, in the corner of the photo, was a mans hand.

A hand with long, elegant fingers.

I would know that hand anywhere. Id held it for almost thirty years. On one of those fingers was a ring I designed myself, the one Ethan had custom-made for our wedding.

4

My heart ached until it was numb, until I thought I couldnt feel anything anymore. Then my phone buzzed. It was a video from Chloe.

In the video, her son, Leo, was holding onto Ethans arm, looking up at him with wide, innocent eyes.

Uncle Ethan, can you be my daddy?

Can I call you Dad?

The boy swung his arm playfully. Youre the best uncle in the whole world. Youre my superhero.

I really, really like you, and I wish I had a dad just like you.

Please, can you be my dad? Pleeease?

Chloes voice floated in from off-camera. Leo, dont be silly.

And then Ethans voice, gently chiding her. How is that silly?

He knelt, bringing himself down to the boys level, his eyes impossibly soft.

You like me?

The boy nodded enthusiastically.

You want me to be your dad?

An even more vigorous nod.

And then Ethan said, Okay.

Then you can call me Dad. How does that sound?

The boys shriek of joy echoed through the video. A moment later, a voice message from Chloe arrived.

Ava.

Tell me. What do you have left to fight me with?

You should just give up.

I listened to her voice, a triumphant echo in the silent room, as my best friend, Maya, watched me with worried eyes.

Ava, the baby are you really not going to tell him?

Maya said, If you just tell him youre pregnant, that youre having his child, I know hell come back to you.

But I dont want him to.

I placed a hand on my abdomen.

A new life was growing there.

Our baby. Ethans and mine. The child we had hoped for, for so many years. But now now, I didnt want to be a mother. Not if it meant bringing a child into a life shadowed by a broken home, just like mine had been. I looked at Maya.

The moment he chose Chloe, the moment he agreed to be another childs father

He lost the right to be the father of mine.

The day of my scheduled abortion, I saw him. Ethan was at the hospital with Chloe and her son. The second he saw me, he instinctively dropped the boys hand.

Ava.

What are you doing here?

He saw the clinic paperwork in my hand and started towards me.

Are you sick?

Whats wrong? Why didnt you tell me?

Before I could answer, Chloe shoved her son forward. The boy immediately burst into tears and grabbed Ethans arm.

Daddy!

My tummy hurts, he wailed, pulling Ethan away from me. Ow, ow, it hurts so bad!

I watched the conflict in Ethans eyes. The hesitation. And then, the decision. He scooped the boy into his arms and looked back at me, his face a mixture of apology and impatience.

Honey, we have to prioritize. You understand, right?

He started to walk away.

I felt a hysterical laugh build in my chest.

Just then, Maya came back with the payment receipts, saw the whole scene, and exploded.

You son of a bitch!

How dare you show your face here!

Oh, this is rich, she stalked towards Ethan. No time for your wife, but plenty of time to play daddy to this little bastard, huh?

She grabbed Ethans arm. Youre not going anywhere! Do you have any idea what Ava is

Im not a bastard!

The boy launched himself out of Ethans arms and charged at Maya. She wasnt ready for it. I reacted without thinking, shoving her out of the way. The boys hard little head slammed directly into my abdomen. A universe of pain exploded inside me. My back hit the wall, and I slid to the floor, my whole body trembling.

But the boy wasnt done. He kicked me, his small sneaker connecting with my stomach.

You bitch! he screamed, his face red and tear-streaked. Youre a nasty bitch!

Youre trying to steal my daddy!

You nasty, evil bitch!

A crowd was gathering. Murmurs turned into accusations, all aimed at me. I was the homewrecker. Shameless. Disgusting.

And Ethan Ethan just stood on the edge of the crowd, looking down at me. As if he was waiting for me to admit I was wrong. As if he was waiting for an apology. But I was too weak, the pain was too much. I could barely breathe, let alone speak.

Ethan

Ethan help

My voice was a shredded whisper. I wanted him to call a doctor. But the boy chose that moment to throw himself on the floor, rolling and screaming that his stomach was killing him. I saw one last flicker of indecision in Ethans eyes before it vanished. He picked up the boy, and as he turned to leave, he looked down at me one last time.

Ava.

You really need to take a long, hard look at yourself.

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