The Star Makers Mad Wife
Seven years after my divorce from Ethan.
We ran into each other in a flower shop.
He was there to buy flowers for his pregnant wife. I was just hiding from the rain.
After a moment of charged silence, we managed to say hello.
Ethan asked, politely, how Id been these past few years.
I answered, just as politely, that everything was fine.
As we were about to part, he said something out of the blue.
You seem different, Leah.
I just smiled, offering no reply.
The truth is, nothing about me had changed.
I had just stopped loving him.
1.
A damp, cold wind snaked through the gap in the door, and for a long moment, the only sound in the small shop was the relentless drumming of rain against the windowpanes.
The awkward quiet was finally broken when the florist emerged from the back, cradling a bouquet of irises.
Mr. Vance, you and your wife are so sweet, she said, beaming. Coming all the way out in this weather to buy her flowers.
Ethan took the bouquet, his gaze flickering instinctively toward me. He had a habit of over-explaining.
Noras been a little emotional during the pregnancy, he murmured. The flowers seem to help
I nodded and offered a few bland compliments. Seeing the rain outside begin to let up, I picked up my bag, ready to leave. As I reached the door, Ethans hand suddenly shot out and closed around my wrist.
Where do you live? Let me give you a ride.
Thats not necessary. I took a half-step back, creating a careful distance between us. My voice was perfectly steady. I wouldnt want your wife to get the wrong idea.
As I turned to walk away, I thought I heard him say something else. The wind was too loud; the words were lost.
The only casualty of the encounter was the breakfast pastry in my bag, now soaked through with rain. A shame. I tossed the ruined croissant into a nearby trash can without a second thought.
A gust of wind billowed the sleeve of my coat, exposing the faint, silvery scars that lined my wristsouvenirs from a past life. I paused, the thought striking me with a strange lack of emotion.
This was the seventh year since my divorce from Ethan.
And the third year since I had truly, finally, let him go.
There was no pang of sadness, none of the hysteria that had defined our separation. Looking at him had been like looking at a complete stranger.
The rain had stopped. The sky was beginning to clear. I pulled my sleeve down and headed for the bakery.
Stella, the young woman who helps me out, greeted me with a wide grin. Leah, youre here! I found a box when I was cleaning out the storage closet. She pointed to a dusty cardboard carton in the corner. Should I keep it, or toss it with the rest of this junk? I need to make room for the new dough sheeter.
I wiped the layer of dust from the lid.
And there it was, in elegant, looping script: Ethans handwriting.
For Leah.
Stellas interest was immediately piqued. Ooh, whos this from? she teased. Fancy packaging. Somebody was trying to impress you. She eagerly scanned the box for a signature.
When her eyes landed on the familiar name, she froze. Her voice dropped to a stuttering whisper.
Ethan Vance?
She looked up at me, her eyes wide. Wait, the Ethan Vance? The legendary genius, the astrophysicist from MIT? Her voice climbed with each question. The one who discovered that new asteroid and was in all the magazines? That handsome-as-hell Ethan Vance?!
Stellas gaze was now filled with a kind of bewildered reverence. Leah, who are you?
I lifted the lid of the box. My voice was calm, a simple statement of fact.
Im Ethan Vances ex-wife.
The paranoid, unhinged ex-wife. The one who had a stint in a psychiatric hospital.
The one he considered the greatest shame of his life.
2.
Under Stellas relentless questioning, I finally sat down and told her the story of Ethan and me.
When I first met Ethan Vance, he wasnt some celebrated boy genius. He was just the problem child from down the street, the weird, quiet kid everyone in the neighborhood whispered about. No friends, no family to speak of. His parents were in the middle of a nasty divorce and treated him like a piece of luggage they were both trying to lose.
The winters in Boston are bone-deep cold. I found him one evening huddled in the stairwell of our apartment building, shivering in a threadbare sweatshirt. He looked so lost. I couldn't just leave him there, so I brought him home.
One day, while we were all playing a board game, my father noticed something incredible about the way Ethans mind worked with numbers. It was a flash of lightning. From that day on, everything changed.
My dad saw a spark in him that no one else had, and he fanned it into a flame. At ten, Ethan won the National Math Olympiad. At fourteen, he got early admission to MIT. By sixteen, a paper he published was making waves across the globe, and awards started piling up.
Suddenly, the same parents who couldnt get rid of him fast enough were fighting tooth and nail for custody.
But Ethan did something none of them expected. He knelt before my father and bowed his head, a gesture so formal and final it silenced the room.
I know who was good to me, he said, his voice thick with emotion. I know who really loves me. From now on, you and Mom are my real parents. He looked at me. Ill take care of you both. Ill always take care of Leah.
From that day forward, Ethans trajectory was a straight line pointing up, but he never tried to leave me behind. When MIT accepted him, he insisted they find a place for me, lobbying for them to lower their admission standards. When he was offered a teaching position after his doctorate, he demanded they create an administrative role for me in his department.
I was terrified I wouldn't be able to keep up.
But Ethan would look at me with that unwavering intensity. When I was eight, my parents left me in that stairwell. I sat there all night, from dusk till dawn. You were the one who found me, Leah. You brought me home. I swore to myself in that moment that I would never, ever leave you. I wouldnt be who I am today without you. No matter how high I fly, I will never let you go.
That was Ethan. Stubborn to his core. Once he fixed on something, he never let go.
It was true for his research projects.
It was true when he pursued me.
And, it turned out, it was true when he fell for someone else.
He cheated? Stellas eyes were wide with disbelief. But you guys were childhood sweethearts. You grew up together. After all that, he cheated? She leaned forward. Who was she? Some rich heiress? A supermodel? One of those scheming, femme fatale types you see in the movies?
None of the above.
Ethans affair was with a dark and wiry, entirely unremarkable girl who sold flowers from a cart at the farmers market.
By the time he was twenty-seven, Ethan had achieved more professionally than most people do in a lifetime. He was no longer chasing accolades or money. He started pouring his energy into personal hobbies. He had no interest in stocks or golf or any of the usual pastimes. Instead, he developed a sudden, all-consuming passion for botany.
Exotic imports, cheap annuals, common daisies, rare orchidsEthan bought them all, filling a small greenhouse hed built behind our house.
His favorite, he always said, was the iris. The same type I had given him as a seedling for his birthday years ago.
This is the plant that started it all, he told me once, his eyes gleaming. To think that such an unremarkable seed, with the right human intervention, can be cultivated into something so magnificent. The process its fascinating.
He said he loved flowers. But what he loved more was the process of making them bloom.
In that small, glass-walled world, he was God. He decided what flourished and what withered. Life and death were entirely up to him.
I never really understood what he meant. A flower was a flower. It bloomed when it bloomed. Why try to control it so much?
But Nora, the flower girl who was helping him unload a shipment of soil that day, looked up at him with wide, adoring eyes.
Professor Vance is right, she said, her voice breathy with awe. I feel the same way. A flowers beauty depends entirely on the gardeners care. Look how well this iris grew. That was all my work.
And just like that, on a crisp autumn day surrounded by blooming irises, they connected.
Because of the flowers.
And because of me.
3.
After that, Ethan started ordering flowers from Nora all the time. Roses, lilies, lilacs, peonies. The house we lived in began to look less like a home and more like a botanical garden. And as the flowers accumulated, so did the time they spent together.
Then one day, Ethan came to me with a proposal. He wanted to sponsor Noras education.
Shes just a teenager, Leah. Shes brilliant and hardworking. Its a tragedy to let that kind of potential go to waste.
Nora stood beside him, nervously picking at the thick calluses on her hands. A small, anxious smile played on her chapped lips. Ill study hard, I promise, she said, her eyes fixed on me. My grades were good. I only had to drop out of school because my mom was in a car accident and I had to support my family. If you just give me a chance, I swear I wont let you down.
Her young face was etched with a weariness that didnt belong on someone her age. Looking into her earnest eyes, I was suddenly reminded of an eight-year-old boy, huddled and helpless in a cold stairwell.
My heart softened.
For a long time, I treated Nora like a younger sister. I bought her new clothes, taught her about skincare, and helped her navigate the social cues shed never had a chance to learn. She called me her big sister, swore I was the kindest person shed ever met, and promised that one day, she would repay my kindness.
And she didnt disappoint me. She was accepted into the very university where Ethan and I both worked.
The night she received her acceptance letter, she climbed into Ethans bed.
I had left work early that day, planning to cook a special dinner to celebrate her achievement. I walked into our home to find them tangled together in our bedroom, their clothes in a heap on the floor.
In that single, shattering moment, I lost my mind.
I threw the celebratory cake at them, smearing frosting across their bare skin. I tore through the house like a hurricane, smashing every pot and vase, shredding every petal and leaf until our home was a graveyard of flowers.
Ethan shielded Nora with his body, his eyes cold as he watched my rampage.
Thats enough, Leah. Close the door on your way out. His voice was flat. You may not have any shame, but Nora does.
Between me and Nora, his choice was clear and instantaneous. He had chosen the other woman.
I couldnt breathe. I demanded he give me an explanation.
He just frowned. You are still my wife, Leah. As long as you dont make trouble, Nora will never threaten your position.
Nora, for her part, scrambled to her knees in front of me, tears streaming down her face. Sister, I know Ive wronged you, but Ethan and I are in love! Were soulmates. We understand each other in a way no one else can. Dont worry, Ill never forget your kindness. I dont need a title, I wont fight you for anything. Just please, let me stay by his side!
I was only in my twenties. I was proud, and I had never known a hurt like this.
I sent a formal complaint to the university, an email detailing their unethical and inappropriate relationship. I wanted to expose them.
But reality delivered a swift, brutal lesson.
The university was never going to fire a star like Ethan Vance. Instead, to appease him, they put me on disciplinary probation. Ethan then went a step further, releasing a public statement to the faculty, asking his colleagues to look out for Nora.
She is my student, he wrote. She is brilliant, diligent, and hardworking. I hope you will all, for my sake, give her the support she deserves. She has overcome immense hardship to get here. She may not have the most polished academic record, but in my eyes, she is the finest student I have ever had the privilege of teaching. She is my greatest pride.
He even admitted to pulling strings to get her into the university, acknowledging it was against the rules. He didnt care. All he wanted was to ensure Nora had a brilliant future.
And me? What was I?
A joke? A footnote?
I hid at home, crying myself to sleep every night, haunted by the smirking, whispering faces of colleagues and strangers.
Ethan continued to tend to his irises, unbothered.
Dont you get it yet, Leah? he said to me one evening, not even looking up from his pruning. Your job, your reputation, your entire statusit all comes from me. Without me, you are nothing. I told you Nora wouldnt affect your position. Just be reasonable. Cant we just live our lives in peace?
No. We couldnt.
I couldnt bear it, living with a husband whose heart and mind were constantly with another woman.
I started fighting back. I became hysterical, vindictive. I launched a scorched-earth campaign against them. When Ethan gave a major lecture, I swapped his presentation slides with intimate photos of him and Nora. When they gave a joint interview for a university publication, I stormed the room and screamed the truth about their affair.
I wrote countless letters. I posted anonymous videos.
All I got for my efforts was a diagnosis.
Ethan was too smart. He provoked me into these manic episodes, then calmly recorded my breakdowns and presented them as evidence of my instability. His intellect, his status, his intimate knowledge of my every weaknesshe used it all to crush me.
In the end, I was the one who lost everything. I was fired from my job. My graduate degree was revoked.
And then, Ethan Vance, my husband, had me committed to a psychiatric hospital.
My voice was steady as I told this to Stella, but her eyes were red. She sniffled, wiping at tears. What happened then?
Then, in the sterile quiet of the hospital, I found out I was nearly five months pregnant.
And Ethan came to take me home.
4.
The existence of the child forced Ethan into a truce. He checked me out of the hospital, took my hand, and spoke in that calm, rational voice I had come to hate.
Leah, I know I made a mistake. But you cant keep acting like this. Your parents theyre worried sick. People are gossiping about them everywhere they go. Youre not a child anymore. Cant you stop being so selfish?
He placed my hand on my still-flat stomach. Think about the baby. Think about your parents.
A tear slid down my cheek and landed on my knuckles. This time, I was the one who gave in.
The fight had gone out of me. My spirit was broken. I spent my days like a ghost, wandering through that house filled with another womans flowers, staring into space.
Ethans life became a neatly organized schedule. Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays were for me. He would come home, read to my growing belly, and talk about prenatal education. Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays were for Nora. With her, he explored the sweet, dizzying passion of new love.
He, a man with a chronic stomach condition, would accompany Nora to every trendy, new restaurant she wanted to tryspicy food, greasy food, bubble tea, ice cream. Whatever she liked, he ate without complaint.
This was the man who once believed wasting ten minutes was a cardinal sin, now sitting patiently through Noras favorite vapid romantic comedies. This was the man who valued his career above all else, now engaging in childish antics to make her laugh.
He put her name on one of his academic papersin a completely different fieldto boost her credentials. He blew off important seminars and played pranks on his colleagues, all to amuse her.
He ground my dignity into the dust. And with it, he trampled the rules and ethics of the world he supposedly revered.
The final, explosive moment came with the proposal.
That was the year Ethan discovered a new asteroid, a feat that propelled him from academic stardom to mainstream fame. He was featured in international magazines, his brilliant mind and handsome face suddenly everywhere.
And at this pinnacle of his life, he chose to share the glory with Nora.
He named the asteroid Noras Horizon.
Beneath the horizon, Ethan Vance and Nora promised to be together forever.
On the night he officially received the award, he held a private ceremony for her at the citys planetarium. Beneath the projected image of the asteroid that bore her name, he staged a wedding.
When I saw Nora, radiant in a white gown, walking toward him when I saw them exchange vows under that canopy of artificial stars, something inside me finally, irrevocably, snapped.
We never had a wedding. I had begged him for one, but he had always dismissed it.
Leah, you know me. I hate all that superficial pomp and circumstance, hed said. Its a waste of time and energy that could be better spent on my work.
Because I loved him, I accepted it.
And because I loved him, I had lost everything.
My suppressed rage erupted. I stormed into the ceremony in front of all their guests, ripped the veil from Noras head, and slapped her hard across the face, twice.
Ethans reaction was swift. He threw a glass of ice water in my face. His voice was arctic.
Youve crossed a line, Leah.
He told me he wanted a divorce. He was leaving with Nora.
I refused. I couldnt accept it. I wouldn't let him go.
If you walk out that door tonight, I sobbed, climbing onto the railing of the planetariums observation deck, Ill jump, and Ill take this baby with me.
Ethan didnt leave.
He pushed me.
Maybe he only meant to scare me. To call my bluff.
But the result was the same. I lost the child I had wanted so desperately.
And I found myself back in the psychiatric hospital. This time, the diagnosis was severe depression.
We ran into each other in a flower shop.
He was there to buy flowers for his pregnant wife. I was just hiding from the rain.
After a moment of charged silence, we managed to say hello.
Ethan asked, politely, how Id been these past few years.
I answered, just as politely, that everything was fine.
As we were about to part, he said something out of the blue.
You seem different, Leah.
I just smiled, offering no reply.
The truth is, nothing about me had changed.
I had just stopped loving him.
1.
A damp, cold wind snaked through the gap in the door, and for a long moment, the only sound in the small shop was the relentless drumming of rain against the windowpanes.
The awkward quiet was finally broken when the florist emerged from the back, cradling a bouquet of irises.
Mr. Vance, you and your wife are so sweet, she said, beaming. Coming all the way out in this weather to buy her flowers.
Ethan took the bouquet, his gaze flickering instinctively toward me. He had a habit of over-explaining.
Noras been a little emotional during the pregnancy, he murmured. The flowers seem to help
I nodded and offered a few bland compliments. Seeing the rain outside begin to let up, I picked up my bag, ready to leave. As I reached the door, Ethans hand suddenly shot out and closed around my wrist.
Where do you live? Let me give you a ride.
Thats not necessary. I took a half-step back, creating a careful distance between us. My voice was perfectly steady. I wouldnt want your wife to get the wrong idea.
As I turned to walk away, I thought I heard him say something else. The wind was too loud; the words were lost.
The only casualty of the encounter was the breakfast pastry in my bag, now soaked through with rain. A shame. I tossed the ruined croissant into a nearby trash can without a second thought.
A gust of wind billowed the sleeve of my coat, exposing the faint, silvery scars that lined my wristsouvenirs from a past life. I paused, the thought striking me with a strange lack of emotion.
This was the seventh year since my divorce from Ethan.
And the third year since I had truly, finally, let him go.
There was no pang of sadness, none of the hysteria that had defined our separation. Looking at him had been like looking at a complete stranger.
The rain had stopped. The sky was beginning to clear. I pulled my sleeve down and headed for the bakery.
Stella, the young woman who helps me out, greeted me with a wide grin. Leah, youre here! I found a box when I was cleaning out the storage closet. She pointed to a dusty cardboard carton in the corner. Should I keep it, or toss it with the rest of this junk? I need to make room for the new dough sheeter.
I wiped the layer of dust from the lid.
And there it was, in elegant, looping script: Ethans handwriting.
For Leah.
Stellas interest was immediately piqued. Ooh, whos this from? she teased. Fancy packaging. Somebody was trying to impress you. She eagerly scanned the box for a signature.
When her eyes landed on the familiar name, she froze. Her voice dropped to a stuttering whisper.
Ethan Vance?
She looked up at me, her eyes wide. Wait, the Ethan Vance? The legendary genius, the astrophysicist from MIT? Her voice climbed with each question. The one who discovered that new asteroid and was in all the magazines? That handsome-as-hell Ethan Vance?!
Stellas gaze was now filled with a kind of bewildered reverence. Leah, who are you?
I lifted the lid of the box. My voice was calm, a simple statement of fact.
Im Ethan Vances ex-wife.
The paranoid, unhinged ex-wife. The one who had a stint in a psychiatric hospital.
The one he considered the greatest shame of his life.
2.
Under Stellas relentless questioning, I finally sat down and told her the story of Ethan and me.
When I first met Ethan Vance, he wasnt some celebrated boy genius. He was just the problem child from down the street, the weird, quiet kid everyone in the neighborhood whispered about. No friends, no family to speak of. His parents were in the middle of a nasty divorce and treated him like a piece of luggage they were both trying to lose.
The winters in Boston are bone-deep cold. I found him one evening huddled in the stairwell of our apartment building, shivering in a threadbare sweatshirt. He looked so lost. I couldn't just leave him there, so I brought him home.
One day, while we were all playing a board game, my father noticed something incredible about the way Ethans mind worked with numbers. It was a flash of lightning. From that day on, everything changed.
My dad saw a spark in him that no one else had, and he fanned it into a flame. At ten, Ethan won the National Math Olympiad. At fourteen, he got early admission to MIT. By sixteen, a paper he published was making waves across the globe, and awards started piling up.
Suddenly, the same parents who couldnt get rid of him fast enough were fighting tooth and nail for custody.
But Ethan did something none of them expected. He knelt before my father and bowed his head, a gesture so formal and final it silenced the room.
I know who was good to me, he said, his voice thick with emotion. I know who really loves me. From now on, you and Mom are my real parents. He looked at me. Ill take care of you both. Ill always take care of Leah.
From that day forward, Ethans trajectory was a straight line pointing up, but he never tried to leave me behind. When MIT accepted him, he insisted they find a place for me, lobbying for them to lower their admission standards. When he was offered a teaching position after his doctorate, he demanded they create an administrative role for me in his department.
I was terrified I wouldn't be able to keep up.
But Ethan would look at me with that unwavering intensity. When I was eight, my parents left me in that stairwell. I sat there all night, from dusk till dawn. You were the one who found me, Leah. You brought me home. I swore to myself in that moment that I would never, ever leave you. I wouldnt be who I am today without you. No matter how high I fly, I will never let you go.
That was Ethan. Stubborn to his core. Once he fixed on something, he never let go.
It was true for his research projects.
It was true when he pursued me.
And, it turned out, it was true when he fell for someone else.
He cheated? Stellas eyes were wide with disbelief. But you guys were childhood sweethearts. You grew up together. After all that, he cheated? She leaned forward. Who was she? Some rich heiress? A supermodel? One of those scheming, femme fatale types you see in the movies?
None of the above.
Ethans affair was with a dark and wiry, entirely unremarkable girl who sold flowers from a cart at the farmers market.
By the time he was twenty-seven, Ethan had achieved more professionally than most people do in a lifetime. He was no longer chasing accolades or money. He started pouring his energy into personal hobbies. He had no interest in stocks or golf or any of the usual pastimes. Instead, he developed a sudden, all-consuming passion for botany.
Exotic imports, cheap annuals, common daisies, rare orchidsEthan bought them all, filling a small greenhouse hed built behind our house.
His favorite, he always said, was the iris. The same type I had given him as a seedling for his birthday years ago.
This is the plant that started it all, he told me once, his eyes gleaming. To think that such an unremarkable seed, with the right human intervention, can be cultivated into something so magnificent. The process its fascinating.
He said he loved flowers. But what he loved more was the process of making them bloom.
In that small, glass-walled world, he was God. He decided what flourished and what withered. Life and death were entirely up to him.
I never really understood what he meant. A flower was a flower. It bloomed when it bloomed. Why try to control it so much?
But Nora, the flower girl who was helping him unload a shipment of soil that day, looked up at him with wide, adoring eyes.
Professor Vance is right, she said, her voice breathy with awe. I feel the same way. A flowers beauty depends entirely on the gardeners care. Look how well this iris grew. That was all my work.
And just like that, on a crisp autumn day surrounded by blooming irises, they connected.
Because of the flowers.
And because of me.
3.
After that, Ethan started ordering flowers from Nora all the time. Roses, lilies, lilacs, peonies. The house we lived in began to look less like a home and more like a botanical garden. And as the flowers accumulated, so did the time they spent together.
Then one day, Ethan came to me with a proposal. He wanted to sponsor Noras education.
Shes just a teenager, Leah. Shes brilliant and hardworking. Its a tragedy to let that kind of potential go to waste.
Nora stood beside him, nervously picking at the thick calluses on her hands. A small, anxious smile played on her chapped lips. Ill study hard, I promise, she said, her eyes fixed on me. My grades were good. I only had to drop out of school because my mom was in a car accident and I had to support my family. If you just give me a chance, I swear I wont let you down.
Her young face was etched with a weariness that didnt belong on someone her age. Looking into her earnest eyes, I was suddenly reminded of an eight-year-old boy, huddled and helpless in a cold stairwell.
My heart softened.
For a long time, I treated Nora like a younger sister. I bought her new clothes, taught her about skincare, and helped her navigate the social cues shed never had a chance to learn. She called me her big sister, swore I was the kindest person shed ever met, and promised that one day, she would repay my kindness.
And she didnt disappoint me. She was accepted into the very university where Ethan and I both worked.
The night she received her acceptance letter, she climbed into Ethans bed.
I had left work early that day, planning to cook a special dinner to celebrate her achievement. I walked into our home to find them tangled together in our bedroom, their clothes in a heap on the floor.
In that single, shattering moment, I lost my mind.
I threw the celebratory cake at them, smearing frosting across their bare skin. I tore through the house like a hurricane, smashing every pot and vase, shredding every petal and leaf until our home was a graveyard of flowers.
Ethan shielded Nora with his body, his eyes cold as he watched my rampage.
Thats enough, Leah. Close the door on your way out. His voice was flat. You may not have any shame, but Nora does.
Between me and Nora, his choice was clear and instantaneous. He had chosen the other woman.
I couldnt breathe. I demanded he give me an explanation.
He just frowned. You are still my wife, Leah. As long as you dont make trouble, Nora will never threaten your position.
Nora, for her part, scrambled to her knees in front of me, tears streaming down her face. Sister, I know Ive wronged you, but Ethan and I are in love! Were soulmates. We understand each other in a way no one else can. Dont worry, Ill never forget your kindness. I dont need a title, I wont fight you for anything. Just please, let me stay by his side!
I was only in my twenties. I was proud, and I had never known a hurt like this.
I sent a formal complaint to the university, an email detailing their unethical and inappropriate relationship. I wanted to expose them.
But reality delivered a swift, brutal lesson.
The university was never going to fire a star like Ethan Vance. Instead, to appease him, they put me on disciplinary probation. Ethan then went a step further, releasing a public statement to the faculty, asking his colleagues to look out for Nora.
She is my student, he wrote. She is brilliant, diligent, and hardworking. I hope you will all, for my sake, give her the support she deserves. She has overcome immense hardship to get here. She may not have the most polished academic record, but in my eyes, she is the finest student I have ever had the privilege of teaching. She is my greatest pride.
He even admitted to pulling strings to get her into the university, acknowledging it was against the rules. He didnt care. All he wanted was to ensure Nora had a brilliant future.
And me? What was I?
A joke? A footnote?
I hid at home, crying myself to sleep every night, haunted by the smirking, whispering faces of colleagues and strangers.
Ethan continued to tend to his irises, unbothered.
Dont you get it yet, Leah? he said to me one evening, not even looking up from his pruning. Your job, your reputation, your entire statusit all comes from me. Without me, you are nothing. I told you Nora wouldnt affect your position. Just be reasonable. Cant we just live our lives in peace?
No. We couldnt.
I couldnt bear it, living with a husband whose heart and mind were constantly with another woman.
I started fighting back. I became hysterical, vindictive. I launched a scorched-earth campaign against them. When Ethan gave a major lecture, I swapped his presentation slides with intimate photos of him and Nora. When they gave a joint interview for a university publication, I stormed the room and screamed the truth about their affair.
I wrote countless letters. I posted anonymous videos.
All I got for my efforts was a diagnosis.
Ethan was too smart. He provoked me into these manic episodes, then calmly recorded my breakdowns and presented them as evidence of my instability. His intellect, his status, his intimate knowledge of my every weaknesshe used it all to crush me.
In the end, I was the one who lost everything. I was fired from my job. My graduate degree was revoked.
And then, Ethan Vance, my husband, had me committed to a psychiatric hospital.
My voice was steady as I told this to Stella, but her eyes were red. She sniffled, wiping at tears. What happened then?
Then, in the sterile quiet of the hospital, I found out I was nearly five months pregnant.
And Ethan came to take me home.
4.
The existence of the child forced Ethan into a truce. He checked me out of the hospital, took my hand, and spoke in that calm, rational voice I had come to hate.
Leah, I know I made a mistake. But you cant keep acting like this. Your parents theyre worried sick. People are gossiping about them everywhere they go. Youre not a child anymore. Cant you stop being so selfish?
He placed my hand on my still-flat stomach. Think about the baby. Think about your parents.
A tear slid down my cheek and landed on my knuckles. This time, I was the one who gave in.
The fight had gone out of me. My spirit was broken. I spent my days like a ghost, wandering through that house filled with another womans flowers, staring into space.
Ethans life became a neatly organized schedule. Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays were for me. He would come home, read to my growing belly, and talk about prenatal education. Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays were for Nora. With her, he explored the sweet, dizzying passion of new love.
He, a man with a chronic stomach condition, would accompany Nora to every trendy, new restaurant she wanted to tryspicy food, greasy food, bubble tea, ice cream. Whatever she liked, he ate without complaint.
This was the man who once believed wasting ten minutes was a cardinal sin, now sitting patiently through Noras favorite vapid romantic comedies. This was the man who valued his career above all else, now engaging in childish antics to make her laugh.
He put her name on one of his academic papersin a completely different fieldto boost her credentials. He blew off important seminars and played pranks on his colleagues, all to amuse her.
He ground my dignity into the dust. And with it, he trampled the rules and ethics of the world he supposedly revered.
The final, explosive moment came with the proposal.
That was the year Ethan discovered a new asteroid, a feat that propelled him from academic stardom to mainstream fame. He was featured in international magazines, his brilliant mind and handsome face suddenly everywhere.
And at this pinnacle of his life, he chose to share the glory with Nora.
He named the asteroid Noras Horizon.
Beneath the horizon, Ethan Vance and Nora promised to be together forever.
On the night he officially received the award, he held a private ceremony for her at the citys planetarium. Beneath the projected image of the asteroid that bore her name, he staged a wedding.
When I saw Nora, radiant in a white gown, walking toward him when I saw them exchange vows under that canopy of artificial stars, something inside me finally, irrevocably, snapped.
We never had a wedding. I had begged him for one, but he had always dismissed it.
Leah, you know me. I hate all that superficial pomp and circumstance, hed said. Its a waste of time and energy that could be better spent on my work.
Because I loved him, I accepted it.
And because I loved him, I had lost everything.
My suppressed rage erupted. I stormed into the ceremony in front of all their guests, ripped the veil from Noras head, and slapped her hard across the face, twice.
Ethans reaction was swift. He threw a glass of ice water in my face. His voice was arctic.
Youve crossed a line, Leah.
He told me he wanted a divorce. He was leaving with Nora.
I refused. I couldnt accept it. I wouldn't let him go.
If you walk out that door tonight, I sobbed, climbing onto the railing of the planetariums observation deck, Ill jump, and Ill take this baby with me.
Ethan didnt leave.
He pushed me.
Maybe he only meant to scare me. To call my bluff.
But the result was the same. I lost the child I had wanted so desperately.
And I found myself back in the psychiatric hospital. This time, the diagnosis was severe depression.
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